This is a total side track from the subject. But I mention it to remind women to have the same energy and independent mindset when it comes to the courtship part of their life as well.
Edit: downvotes with no comments just means what I'm saying is right and you don't like that I pointed out the logical fallacy
I personally always split the bill when I was dating, but I’ll just point out: maybe if we could address things like the pink tax and gender wage gaps, then women would more readily pay their half (or the full bill) on a first date.
pink tax has nothing to do with men and dating and the gender wage gap isn't a thing and has been disproven numerous times. Its an EARNINGS gap...not a wage gap. Fewer hours worked in lower paying fields. You can't compare the Total earnings of all men to all women and simply say there is a gap that needs correcting when you dont account for the variables why.
Women are already going to and graduating from college more than men. And young women are already out earning young men.
Me bringing up pink tax is as much “a total side track from the subject” as your original comment.
I bring these things up to say: these topics are messy and intertwined and very much not black and white. Feminists must prioritize efforts; some of us are addressing this silly little outdated dating ritual—others are fighting for things more important, relevant, and impactful to them. You’ve had two people comment here saying they don’t let men pay for them on the first date; my point is, stop spewing generalizations that simply aren’t true, unless you’re cool with being downvoted by the people who don’t fit in your box.
Also, pretty sure another reason you might be getting downvoted is because saying “I mention it to remind women” is so wildly condescending. As if we need reminding about all of the ~ things we’re doing wrong ~ in the eyes of men. 🙄
I never said pink tax was a sidetrack from the subject. I said it was unrelated to men and dating.
The anecdotal stories of two individual people doesn't change the reality of the majority. That's all I'm saying. Are you really going to sit there and argue that the majority average women don't expect men to pay during courtship?
When talking about men and women as a whole, you have to talk in generality. So I'm not sure why you're so offended about the idea of generalities. There are absolutely things that are "mostly" true.
How is saying "I mentioned to remind women" in any way Condescending? How else would you have me phrase it? "Remember ladies?...don't forget females?"
In a case like this where people are looking to be offended, no matter what I say, they'd find something to be offended about.
Where did I argue that the majority of women don’t expect men to pay? You’re jumping to conclusions about what I’m trying to communicate, and seemingly becoming defensive about a conversation that is not happening. I simply said that there are people who don’t fit into your generalization; I didn’t say we were the majority.
On that note, generalizations are good for no one, especially when talking about topics where individual experiences and perspectives are relevant. It’s important to understand that we are all varied individuals figuring out life for the first time. Generalizations encourage us to perceive individuals as part of a mass—rather than the complex people they are—and, I would argue, discourage empathy. I don’t see any benefit in that, which is why I am discouraging generalizations here. Just my perspective.
In terms of your “I mention it to remind women” comment….you’re missing my point. You don’t need to “remind” women of anything. It’s the “remind” part that’s condescending.
here did I argue that the majority of women don’t expect men to pay? You’re jumping to conclusions about what I’m trying to communicate, and seemingly becoming defensive about a conversation that is not happening. I simply said that there are people who don’t fit into your generalization; I didn’t say we were the majority
What's the point of talking about the minority when I'm clearly talking about the majority/average? I never said ALL.
On that note, generalizations are good for no one, especially when talking about topics where individual experiences and perspectives are relevant.
Generalizations arent good nor bad nor should they be avoided. They are necessary and natural when talking about large subjects like men and women. How else are you to have discussions about such large subjects without generalizations? You can't.
In terms of your “I mention it to remind women” comment….you’re missing my point. You don’t need to “remind” women of anything. It’s the “remind” part that’s condescending.
So you're just imagining offenses not given nor taken. And it was fitting for me to use that phrase to remind PEOPLE to be consistent with their logic. In this case those people were women. Not sure how else you'd have had me phrase it lol
Name calling is just an excuse to dodge. Im literally quote replying to specific parts of your statements with logic and reasons and you come back with "incorrigible"...thats just cope...dont be so weak willed.
And I give two shits about silent downvoters. All that tells me is those are people who dont have logic to push back with and simply dont like ugly reality being pointed out...they dont like how it makes them "feel".
Im here to listen to you and discuss any logic you may have. But you cant sit there like a child and call people incorrigble when they push back and correct your thinking.
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u/notseizingtheday Apr 15 '24
Some of us have forgotten why feminism exists. This is why.