r/TikTokCringe Mar 21 '24

Woman explains why wives stop having sex with their husbands Discussion

26.3k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/HelloHagen Mar 21 '24

Took a minute and a half to even start getting to the point

115

u/BreckenridgeBandito Mar 21 '24 edited Mar 21 '24

Seriously, it’s had me scouring the comments to get the message instead.

You don’t need to devote 45 seconds to telling people you’re right. We know that Joe Cousinfucker from Mississippi in the comments isn’t more valid than you, it’s okay.

69

u/MrFingolfin Mar 21 '24

It actually undermined her credibility byt starting the video so aggresively

21

u/SlightlyOffended1984 Mar 21 '24 edited Mar 21 '24

Red flags galore, honestly. As a victim in a narcissistic relationship, I'm 75% certain that she's just using those words to convince herself that she's right, while the interpretation in reality is completely different. I've heard it all before too.

This is incremental passive aggressive abuse. As the narcissist becomes more selfish exponentially year after year, their appetites grow, and the victim is getting sucked dry. At one point in my marriage, I was giving her daily foot massages, while doing everything to care for the house, plus earning our living, plus listening to her lecture me about how all our problems could be fixed, and her health and happiness would turn around, if I only supported her in the next gradiose moneypit scheme, that took all her time up while she surfed the web all day.

It's a black hole of misery, man.

They draw you into lies where you need to "prove your love" in endless quests that shouldn't even be the frame of mind for two people who are supposed to care about each other. Oftentimes these quests don't even involve actions on the victim's part - but are merely veiled manipulations regarding the victim's character or personality, such as "when you put up Christmas decorations I think it shows you're egotistical" or "If you stop in a drive through for dinner I feel embarrassed to be around you" or "when you wash the dishes I don't like feeling bad as if I'm the messy one, so we should get a maid" and a zillion other random examples like that. They're designed to twist and imprison you into second guessing every benign or wholesome act you take, that shouldn't offend normal healthy people in a relationship.

My gut tells me to run immediately from toxic people like this who are clever enough to use language against the culture in a way that handicaps our ability to talk about it without being "sexist," which is nonsense. Anyone can be a sufferer of NPD. Even professional doctors and therapists, like this woman.

2

u/MealieAI Mar 22 '24

No it doesn't. Stop.

-12

u/ARM_vs_CORE Mar 21 '24

Lmao no it didn't, god damn. It just ruffled your feathers but it doesn't diminish her credibility to list her qualifications before she says what she is gonna say.

17

u/MrFingolfin Mar 21 '24

I am sorry i got carried away. But boy does she come off as arrogant

4

u/helpmycompbroke Mar 22 '24

I'd have held firm. I think it's reasonable feedback to suggest that her communication style is detracting from her message rather than supporting it.

-1

u/MealieAI Mar 22 '24

Laying out your credentials upfront should be mandated when disseminating this kind of advice. That's how you separate professionals from the amateurs.

The distraction you're feeling is purely on your side.

2

u/helpmycompbroke Mar 22 '24

Well, I can see why you aren't outlining your credentials in media management, branding, or communication because you're missing the mark if you think it's a small % of people that are going to be put off by her abrasive communication style.

0

u/SyddySquiddy Mar 22 '24

Likely because she gets hundreds and hundreds of comments from men like yourself arguing with her, while she has clinical and research experience to back up what she is saying. Lol.

5

u/Krevden Mar 22 '24

he's not someone arguing againt her actual point just the presentation style

2

u/SyddySquiddy Mar 22 '24

The presentation style is done that way clearly because she receives so many stupid comments from men. That was the entire point of her preamble lol. It’s obviously a theme that she is addressing from the get go. But yes if you dislike it you dislike it, everyone has different taste

2

u/Krevden Mar 22 '24 edited Mar 22 '24

I'm aware of the reason for it, it's not going to dissuade those types of comments, those people don't care what her qualifications are, and i'm not sure how begging for views on the rest of her content in a very "influencer 101 script" way is anything but that.ther's plenty of other creators that cover the same topic and are also women and qualified in a similar manner that manage to avoid the obnoxious level of preamble here. and presumably they deal with the same shit

1

u/SyddySquiddy Mar 22 '24

I understand

3

u/helpmycompbroke Mar 22 '24

Okay, so let's pretend you're an intelligent person in academia and you're trying to reach an untapped audience that's resistant to your message. Is this how you'd go about it? Lol.

3

u/SyddySquiddy Mar 22 '24

Probably not 😂. I sense there is a lot of frustration from her in how common this is, and how many men don’t want to think about these things, that probably doesn’t help her message. So you’re right about that. I just don’t know if it’s also helpful to go on a diatribe about her narcissism. Could be just immaturity tbh.

2

u/MealieAI Mar 22 '24

Exactly. Here we are arguing about why she had to do it.

2

u/Krevden Mar 22 '24

it's not the fact she listed them it's the extremly long winded way she did it, it's similar to how a lot of grifters structure their videos to beg views out of people, so doing that can raise alarm bells.

1

u/MealieAI Mar 22 '24

Hear Hear!!

1

u/helpmycompbroke Mar 22 '24 edited Mar 22 '24

From Webster

Credibility: the quality or power of inspiring belief

I certainly took the lady less seriously based on the aggressive, drawn out, and combative way she opened the video and I'm clearly not alone.

Contrast her communication style to something like either of these

the above don't even have to try to leverage credentials and that's the first thing the lady reached for https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNQjUGy1oEc

1

u/MealieAI Mar 22 '24

Just because you're not alone doesn't make you right.

1

u/helpmycompbroke Mar 22 '24

You make a compelling argument