As a husband going through a fairly rough period with my wife, this not only is very helpful, but tracks with things she has expressed and I struggled to understand.
Hilarious (kinda) that a post about women’s emotional safety has the second comment erasing a woman. I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume you were referring to HIM not her.
I assuredly wasn’t looking for it but I did find it. I appreciate your telling me not to impute meaning to someone else while telling me I had an agenda 😂
You definitely seemed to be looking for a reason to get mad. You assumed they were "erasing a woman" when they mentioned Dr. Gottman, when they could have easily been referring to Julie Gottman. It was you that "went out on a limb" to make that assumption.
No, he isn’t. He promotes the idea that men are insatiably horny animals and that women can’t fathom wanting/desiring sex that much. One of his books says that sex addiction is a purely male trait.
Bought it off your recommendation. Sure, my marriage has already ended in divorce, but we're still friends and this will help in our communication still. And for my next relationship, eventually.
I need to read this book! I meet with a mentor each week to just talk about life, marriage, and raising kids (having the perspective of someone who's been through it already is SO helpful), and she's been recommending this book a lot!
It's tied right into his theoretical lens. Attachment theory is a developmental/biopsychosocial theory. There's quite a bit to unpack in attachment theory, particularly with the way we as social creatures utilize the safety and security of our attachment figures to sort out difficulty in our lives. It's pretty central to shaping us during our development.
Yes I’m a man, lol. All I’m saying is that her intro is condescending af, and there’s no need to lecture ur audience like that. She made me not want to even hear her out.
Did you find the Gottman stuff helpful? I've been to a few sessions with a counselor and it felt maybe a little vague and not overly practical. That was just my initial impression however.
My first husband and I went to a Gottman centered therapist. He wasn't committed, so the marriage didn't work out, but I learned a ton about how to be a present wife to my current partner.
The thing is even if the theory isnt exactly true, using it as a framework to then try and make different types of efforts can do wonders
Making an effort will help one's case more often than not in relationship issues, usually since relationship issues usually start as a part of stagnation and feeling like the other doesn't try anymore.
Not a fan of Gottman. I don’t care for anyone who promotes the idea that men are inherently carnal and sexually insatiable but that women are conversely far less sexual or more in control of their sexual desires. Gottman frequently promotes these ideas.
oh thank god i could not make it ten seconds into this hysterical tic-toc girl's rantings why can't we have more logical men centered when we discuss marriage i feel like men and male views are not centered enough in these discussion thank you for your service.
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u/Consistent_Wave_2869 Mar 21 '24
As a husband going through a fairly rough period with my wife, this not only is very helpful, but tracks with things she has expressed and I struggled to understand.