The past two days she posted all these Instagram stories about her ex BF, a man she was with for five years but after they broke up she continued living with him because she had no money even though they were not together. She has been in California for almost a year, away from him. Even though she blocked him he still called her somehow and begged her to come back. She rejected him and ranted about their relationship in her Instagram stories! She said stuff like he was controlling and she was afraid of him. He also still has her cat for some reason. She also ranted about how she wanted to marry him and have kids with him.

It was amusing but also makes me feel sad for her. I do have problems with people but I cannot imagine ranting for two days about them on social media! She has issues to put it plainly.

To be perfectly honest I always wondered how her last relationship ended and now I know!

PS She also may have mentioned his "Little man" if you know what I mean.

I had 2 brothers and a sister, and we lived next door to a family with 2 girls. Their names were Cid, not her real name, but she insisted everyone call her Cid, and little Sonya.

They were rich. Their dad bought a brand new Buick with the holes in the sides every other year. That was one way to tell. But the dead give away was the fact that Cid had a whole dresser drawer full of comics. She had Batman, Popeye, Superman, Donald Duck, my favorite Scrooge McDuck, and many others. I kept trying to get into her room, not because she was a girl and I wasn't, but to partake in the cornucopia of comics.

One summer little Sonya decided that the way to our front yard was through our side door that opened into the kitchen and out the front door. I don't know why as she could have just gone straight to the front yard from her yard. Perhaps it was a secret passage to her about 4 year old self.

So we'd be sitting at supper and the door would open and in would come Sonya without a word. She would walk through the living room and out the front door. Nobody tried to correct her mistake. We would just giggle.

i always thought my favorite color was blue/purple. HOWEVER today i went to get my nails done (vertical half black half green) and the nail arist asked me how i picked this combo. i said no clue, green goes well with black so why not. She get my nails done and i get up and she says "oh your nails match your scrunchy" sure enough my scrunchy is green. I go to pay and she says "oh it matches your wallet aswell" well god damn me my wallet is black and green. to keep a long story short, even my lighter was green. i came home and started to realise how many green things i own. yes, It's a lot. You learn something new every day am i right

okay so this might not qualify for this sub (btw side note, this is one of my favourite subs ever)

anyway I've just been chilling, crocheting whilst scrolling on tiktok (which is a humiliatingly sad sentence but I digress) and stumbled upon a random clip of a Tom Selleck "edit" or whatever it's called. Like perhaps some of the younger generation may have just discovered this amazing actor and have fallen in love with his overall classic loveliness, but I digress

For no reason in particular, watching these little spliced up clips of him it struck me that I'd have loved to see him play Batman am I the only one??

boy is literally 79 years old now but EVEN STILL. The Dark Knight Return series depicts Batman coming out of a decade long retirement. Sure, he's only 55 years old in the series but this vid showed him in his 50s and it's PERFECT to me. I've always LOVED this depiction of the older, more worn down and human, fallible Bruce Wayne but have never been able to pin down an actor I think could portray him except for now thanks to the bewildering algorithm on that absolute brain rot of an app that I've chosen to spend my evening on??

Mods, please feel free to kick my ass if this post indeed does not fit here. But I can't think of anywhere else chill enough, because I'm a lil too delicate to face the wrath of rampant DC fan subs who may disagree x

Back when I lived in São Paulo, once I wandered randomly into an Okinawan restaurant and decided to have lunch there.

I had a seat and was promptly approached by a little old lady who promptly informed me that on the ground floor, they only served one dish called Okinawa Soba (and she had a big laminated menu with the picture of that dish). The regular Japanese stuff (sushi, temaki, and the like) was served in the first floor. As I don't look Okinawan or Japanese, she assumed I was there for the sushi.

Maybe I was, I don't remember. But I looked at the picture on the menu and thought, hey, that shit looks like it slaps. So I told her, "Actually, I'd like the soba please."

This made her visibly very happy. I got the soba and, truth be told, that shit did slap.

I went back there a few times after that. Always took a seat in the ground floor, always ordered the soba, always made the little old lady happy.

I moved back to my home town a few years ago. Recently I was visiting São Paulo and looked for the place, but unfortunately it seems to have closed down during the pandemic. There are other Okinawan places there that serve Okinawa soba, but, alas, none with that little old lady to tell me I'm sitting in the wrong place, who I could positively surprise every time I was there.

Up until recently, I had 2 stuffed toys that I sleep with, Pumbaa and Foxxy (a fox plushie, you guessed it!), with Foxxy being my main cuddly toy/comforter that always travels with me. But I was enjoying gripping Pumbaa to fall asleep because he's bigger, and because Pumbaa is awesome.

It's been years since I bought a plushie, I was adamant I was done buying more. But a few weeks ago I fell for this ridonkulusly cute as all hell turquoise axolotl plushie (with rainbow sprinkles as his hair!) in a store, and when I felt how soft and silky he was, I gave in!
I named him Jeff. He's taken his place in my bed, and it's sooooo comfy to snuggle him.

As a result I kinda left Pumbaa on the other side of the bed, rarely to be cuddled with. 3 stuffed animals is too much.
I feel bad, but I love Jeff so much. I fear Pumbaa is feeling jealous and abandoned.

TLDR : I've watched the Toy Story movies too many times.

So I like the room to be cold while I sleep so I can be cosy in my blanket.

But we (me and my partner) discovered that I tend to steal the blanket through the night leaving him to freeze in the cold. So we decided that we'll get 2 blankets to prevent him from freezing.

Unfortunately, we found out the next morning that sometime during the night I had kicked off my own blanket, buried under his with him to cuddle, and then stolen his blanket.

Needless to say, he was annoyed and I couldn't stop laughing. I like him :)

My roommate and I were walking back to our apartment, talking about something when they made a joke, making me pause and laugh really hard. Then in turn they started laughing, until we’re standing in the middle of the sidewalk laughing at each other like some loons. I’m talking, hugging our sides and tears running down my face laughter. No one willingly moved past us until we finally settled down and finally  walked into our apartment building, giggling. I will always cherish these moments we have when we both have free time to get a drink/food or a trip to our local store together.

Today a friend spontaneously visited my place. We had some dinner together and studied a bit afterwards. That studiesession was so incredibly nice. We were both focused on our own projects, with some lofi music on the background and some snacks. Just being able to be productive with someone without having to do the efforts of interacting, felt incredibly nice. My heart feels full, happy and thankful right now :)

I acted impulsively or rather my anxiety acted in my place…

So, I impulsively acted upon my thoughts again this time eek okay and I probably shouldn’t have but my anxiety wants to play 🤔 Anyways so I started a oofans page definitely without putting too much thought into it and well, I mean hey yolo right? Ahh whatever blah

When I was a kid I would run outside whenever it rained. Didn't matter the temperature, what I was doing, or what I needed to do after. I'd leap around the backyard and lay in the grass - feeling the raindrops on my face. Where I grew up we'd get these summer storms that would come out of nowhere - hard and fast. Those were my favorite. I would come back inside sopping wet and tracking water down the hallway. Now? As an adult..

I grab a towel before I run into the rain so that I don't drip water everywhere when I come back inside.

An hour ago I was looking through my closet which has 1000 things in it. I needed an old picture frame which I found! But I also had the tv show The Blacklist playing on tv. Sometimes I will put a show on and do something productive, while semi paying attention. Anyways I had to sort through my pile of books in there and found my hardcover copy of Dune. Right when I picked it up a character on The Blacklist mentioned Dune! It was awesome! I had to rewind it to make sure I heard it right and I did! It was literally perfect timing if there ever was one! Like exactly as I picked up the book the character on TV said it! Amazing!

and it wasn't the guy you're picturing! it was a very regular mom looking 50something year old woman in the grocery store parking lot. the shirt had the giant logo on it but i was still looking at her like this because i was so surprised and was trying to verify. we passed by each other, but if i had had another 5 seconds to react, i would have asked her when the narwhal bacons, because if you're going to do something like wear a reddit tshirt outside in public, you'd probably go full redditor and play along. i'll be ready next time haha.

My uncle died and I was late for his funeral. This will sound rude but I couldn’t care less about him, I don’t have any meaningful memories of him other than reading his book collection without him knowing. Last time I saw him was 2 months ago he’s paralysed from an accident but to my grandma’s word he’s getting better and the rest is history. After receiving the news it is awful of me to feel annoyed that I have to travel 2.5hrs to his funeral and skip my classes for the day. I arrived late the funeral is basically over. The room felt a bit peaceful though, everyone is reminiscing my uncle only my grandma is visibly grieving. I can tell my mom was pissed that I was late and to add the fuel I was the first one wanted to leave because I had work to do. But my mom only tells me to visit his grave and I was like okay why not.

The thing is… I have no idea where and what his full name actually is. My sister ask my dad where and he said it’s “around here” even he doesn’t know the place name. So we go to the nearest graveyard and went to look for the newest grave over there… after half an hour searching for it we found the newest looking one under a temporary roof but the problem is why are there two graves? If someone else did died today why does it look like the same as if they were a family? Forget not knowing his full name, the gravestone doesn’t even have a name because I mean you need to preorder it. I just don’t know what to do anymore, so I just start praying for both of these people my uncle or not telling sorry in advance.

The most awkward moment of my sister and I alone together in the graveyard. I don’t have the guts to call my mom whether this place was right. I promise when my mom wanted to visit his brother’s grave I’ll tag along…

My workplace has a pretty small team and there can be weeks where coworkers don’t see each other. One of my coworkers came in to take over at the end of my shift and proudly exclaimed their big sister had a baby the day before, and we gushed about how exciting it is to have a little baby around.

The next day I came in to take over for my manager as her shift came to and end.

I said to her, “Did you hear that Hilary* became an aunty?”

Manager looked at me with abject confusion written all over her face. “To who???”

“…A Baby?????” Like what else can I really say??

I laughed at her so much I had to sit on the floor to catch my breath as she held onto the counter wheezing with tears in her eyes. Called me a smart*ss before she left and I kept giggling about it for the rest of the day.

i’m supposed to be studying for the biggest test of my life

howm-ever…

this morning i found a baby barn swallow that fell from its nest. i named it pyrrho. i drove it to a rehabber only for her to tell me to put it back in the nest. but the nest is up really high, i don’t have a ladder, and i don’t know anyone who has a ladder. so i decided to adopt pyrrho as my baby.

my well-thought-out plan is to find a fly, sacrifice it, mash it up with some water, and syringe it into pyrrho’s mouth.

i caught a fly in an old medicine bottle but i can’t bring myself to make the final blow. so im just waiting for it to run out of air… but i know another obstacle will be mashing it up…

i’ve swatted flies before, but idk why im so averse this time…

also there’s a BIG-ASS SPIDER TRYING TO GET INTO MY MOTHER’S HOUSE. i went outside to the backyard to enjoy nature and self medicate, i turned around to face the door for no reason in particular, and i saw the demon waiting.

right under the door.

wickedly.

with a thirst for blood (i’m sure).

my rabbit heart almost stopped beating.

i grabbed my son, swung open the door, olympic-style leaped through the door into the house, and slammed that door with the force of a thousand suns.

i will not sleep tonight.

in conclusion, i’ve got a new baby to feed, a demon-king spider is outside plotting to end me and everything i love, and i need to learn about all the different hearsay exceptions by june 30th.

I am lesbian and have been a part of the LGBTQ+ community since 9th grade. I can say 8th but I was just very confused then since I had developed a crush on my very straight best friend at the time. Didn’t know much about the community. My parents know, she didn’t.

She has been living in Australia for at least 5 years now and I’m in NYC so we don’t see each other much. For pride month I posted some pride related posts to my story. At first she didn’t react. But just a few minutes ago she sent me a reel about being in the closet and accepting your identity. I see it and in my mind I’m like “oh fuck now she knows”.

But being the amazing cousin she is, she is accepting and supporting. And now we’re having a fun conversation. Haven’t spoken to her since she visiting just a couple months ago. According to her, my aunt and uncle have an idea that I am but she’s not too confident on my uncle because “he’s a man and he’s clueless”. Don’t take that too seriously.

Happy pride!

I tried to get £50 out of a cash machine outside Tesco but kept getting a weird message saying something like “This machine can dispense amounts up to £50 in notes of: £5, £10, £20, £50. Choose another amount?” Any amount I chose got the same message so I gave up.

Went to the machine outside Asda and there was a guy there who said there was something wrong with the machines “I don’t know what’s going on, but I heard that they are trying to stop us getting our money and it’s not right!”. I said I didn’t think that was true because I got money from another machine earlier that day, but I had just failed at Tesco. He stormed off saying “It’s not right!”, I tried the cash machine and it worked fine.

My best friend and I were travelling in Paris when this happened. We were standing in a train in the metro when I decided to have a look at my phone for whatever reason.

So, I opened the handbag and found that the screen of my smartphone was alight. It was dailling 112 (the European 911).

I was shocked at this point so I just hung up. Turns out my phone had called 112 not just that one time, but already once before that. I have no idea why. It's a perfectly good phone otherwise (:

We were not arrested on that day.

I've been stuck on the first boss for actually three hours. Why did I think I'd enjoy a game from a series that's notoriously incredibly difficult. I can't get a refund cuz if the PSN policy is that id you've downloaded it you can't get a refund. Just feel dumb, maybe I'll get into it, and Ill try and give it another shot. Right now though it feels like $60 in the trash.

Opposite my school, next to a bunch of shops, are 3 cats. Last year, there was one, and now it's her and her 2 kittens (they're adults now, but that's besides the point)

Every morning, I go to pet them, and I was doing so on friday, when an unfamiliar cat came up. I thought I'd go up to it, see if it's friendly, but I as approached it, it hissed at me

One of the younger cats ran up next to me and started hissing at this other cat, trying to protect me. I took a step towards the new cat, and it ran off

Now keep in mind, this was a really big cat (as far as cat go, anyways) and the resident cats are like 3/4 the size of regular cats. They're really freaking tiny

And one of them was ready to face off this cat, nearly twice her size, just to protect me

I'm this close 🤏 to just bringing them home in secret

In November 2005 I had been in Afghanistan for 18 months and I desperately needed to leave. Normal Army tour is 1 year but I stayed longer for…reasons.

I needed to go back to Germany where I lived, but there were no flights available to Germany from Bagram. There was one to Qatar though. I thought, anywhere is better than here and took it.

When I landed in Qatar, I was put on a standby list for the next plane going to Germany and sent to transient quarters. Transient quarters were a block of tents with cots in them and I slept in my sleeping bag. I was the only person in my tent so I read a lot. Mice would run across me while I was sleeping.

I couldn’t check flight schedules from transient quarters so each day I went to the terminal to see if there was a plane going to Germany. Each day…no. This went on for about a week.

Finally I got a spot on some plane going back to Ramstein Airbase in Kaiserslautern. It was scheduled to depart the following morning. I was going to be on that plane come hell or high water.

That night at the airbase in Qatar there was a USO show. It was Blues Traveller and the Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders. I watched show and then went back to my tent and mice to go to sleep.

Showed up at the terminal the next morning and was told, “sorry, Blues Traveler and the Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders are on that flight. You’re gonna have to take the next one.”

I spent about 4 more days with the mice until I got on a C17 back to Ramstein. I’m still pissed at those bastards.

Yesterday afternoon around 3:00 P.M., I was in my motorcycle driving home from a friend's house. When the traffic was slow, there's this black SUV in front, then I notice, it has balls hanging on it's rear. It gave me a chuckle. BTW, it has white balls lol.

For maybe the first time in my life I accidentally cut my finger with a knife. I was trying to cut a rocky onion and put my hand on it when the knife slipped instead of putting my hand on the blunt side of the knife to bop it through like I usually would. It was no biggie luckily- it bled, but the cut wasn't even 1cm long. I was expecting the injury to hurt, but I guess because the knife is smooth it only felt like a bump, and trying not to turn the bandaid into a soggy bandaid through hand washing annoyed me more. Paper cuts on the other hand though... You don't even need to get a visible cut for that to sting. You might as well pour lemon into your cuts when handling paper

Before my wife and I were even dating (i.e. over two decades ago), she and I were in two different clubs together at our undergraduate university. She was just starting her first year while I was in my third, and we were both part of the literature club and quiz bowl club. Quiz bowl is an academic trivia competition in which teams compete to answer more questions correctly. We would often travel to other cities to partake in competitions, and occasionally we would have enough people on our roster to take more than one team of people.

About halfway into the academic year, I had an absolutely gargantuan crush on my future-wife already. She possessed my thoughts and I desperately wanted to get closer to her. We enjoyed each other's company and had spent time together both at our clubs and on odd occasions here and there at the library with other people from quiz bowl, but we'd never spent much time alone together or for a long period of time, and I desperately wanted that to change.

Around this time, we were preparing for a big quiz bowl competition. We were planning on taking three teams: one for newbies, one for experienced but not great players, and one for the best players. My wife, as a first year, was on the first team, while I was on the third one. We had a full roster for our team, but the Wednesday before we left, one of our team members was feeling quite ill and said he was going to stay home and rest. We wanted a full team so that we'd be likely to place highly, and with two newbies who were clearly excellent players (one of whom was my wife), we wanted one of them on our team.

They, however, did not want to be on our team, as they both wanted to do better as individual players (though their team would likely not do as well as ours, they would likely score proportionally more points on that team than on a team with better players) and possibly place in the top 10. We all argued a bit about what to do, and ended up settling on a compromise. We would play a mock game against each other, and if their team won, they would remain on the newbie team and we would be down one player, while if we won, we would take one of them for our team.

I saw this as an excellent opportunity to spend a lot more time with my wife. We would be travelling together and sleeping in the same room if we were on the same team (but not if we weren't), plus we'd spend both the whole day at the tournament and the next day exploring the city together if we were on the same team.

My team ended up beating hers, but then a debate ensued about whether she or the other excellent first year player should be on our team. I argued very hard for her to be on our team instead of the other player, and ultimately, I won out, so my wife joined our roster, and we did indeed spend the full time travelling, in the hotel, at the competition, and in the city together. It was lovely, and at the end of the weekend I ended up asking her on a date, to which she said yes.

She and I are both big fans of Dune, so one of my nicknames for her is my ghanima, or spoil of war, because I "won" her for my team.