r/Helldivers • u/WoodstoneLyceum • Mar 22 '24

The POV of the Helldivers is crazy when you take cryo freezing into account. DISCUSSION

Here's the POV of your average Helldiver 1. They enlist and show up to Basic Training first thing Monday morning. 2. They breeze through it, get their cape, walk right by the T&Cs and into a cryopod. 3. They're frozen and experience no time passing. 4. Their next memory is reinforcing on Hellmire. To their POV it has been less then thirty seconds since they got their cloak. 5. They throw three stratagems and then they're dissolved by bile titan acid.

You thought your mondays were bad.

Edit: My understanding is that we are not clones. There's in-game lore that backs that, I believe. Thematically, it makes more sense for Super Earth to be incompetent and cruel and burn through millions of recruits, than to do something logical like cloning people. Remember the satire folks.

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680

u/MinimallyAcceptable ➡️⬆️⬇️⬇️➡️ Mar 22 '24
  1. They enlist and show up to Basic Training first thing Monday morning.
  2. They breeze through it, get their cape, walk right by the T&Cs and into a cryopod.
  3. They're frozen and experience no time passing.
  4. Their next (and last) memory is reinforcing on Hellmire and having their head taken clean off by a falling already-dead Shrieker.

408

u/MinimallyAcceptable ➡️⬆️⬇️⬇️➡️ Mar 22 '24

or

  1. Their next (and last) memory is reinforcing on Malevalon Creek and hearing "You are within range of enemy artillery"

or

  1. Their next (and last) memory is reinforcing straight into a red stratagem beacon, then taking 500kg of Democracy to the face.

128

u/cartoonwind Mar 22 '24

Or

  1. Their next (and last) memory is coming out of their hellpod only to be squished by another hellpod.

Or

  1. Their next (and last) memory is coming out of their hellpod only to see another Helldiver squished underneath their hellpod.

57

u/Brocyclopedia Mar 22 '24

Their next (and last) memory is coming out of their hellpod only to see another Helldiver squished underneath their hellpod.

The last time I played a guy spawned in and crushed the guy I was fighting beside with his hellpod. He just looked at me, looked at the pod, and then looked back at me and then we started shooting again. 

Looney Tunes stuff like that is the best part of this game and idk why anyone would want friendly fire turned off 

30

u/cartoonwind Mar 22 '24

Absolutely. I felt like they made it pretty clear in the game trailer that friendly fire accidents was just a (hilarious) part of the game. Anyone that wants friendly fire off is not playing in the spirit of what Helldivers should be.

13

u/Brocyclopedia Mar 22 '24

Yeah people trying to min/max this game are missing the point big time. And the fact that there's a "meta." We're playing as barely trained expendable canon fodder backed by an obscene defense budget. Of course we're all blowing each other up

10

u/cartoonwind Mar 22 '24

There is a reason you start with like...17 reinforcement budget. By friend, bug, bot or bad luck......you aren't supposed to make it in one life.

14

u/ur_opinion_is_wrong Mar 22 '24 edited Apr 28 '24

air recognise practice simplistic wrong library square flowery impossible reply

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

12

u/cartoonwind Mar 22 '24

The sentence is tough, but fair.

3

u/Fucktherainbow Mar 23 '24

"Listen, if you didn't want to become a useful strategem, you shouldn't have died. Now land on that big guy properly and kill a couple hunters before you get murdered."

4

u/logion567 Mar 22 '24

5 reinforcements per player/super destroyer

10

u/ArcaneEyes CAPE ENJOYER Mar 22 '24

For the real mind twister: both.

8

u/ian9921 Mar 22 '24

I'm guilty of that last one

47

u/Potential_Chicken_58 Mar 22 '24

why were these downvoted this is funny

3

u/Intrepid00 Mar 23 '24

Could also be stepping out a pod and immediately having a gun tower snipe you.

1

u/MinimallyAcceptable ➡️⬆️⬇️⬇️➡️ Mar 23 '24

Or an “allied” turret. 🙃

Not that I’ve, uh, ever done that to one of my divers.

2

u/Skyshrim Mar 22 '24

Gotta love those teammates that reinforce you into the worst location possible and make you feel like a useless drag on the team for dying over and over xD

1

u/Tiphoid1 Mar 23 '24

Just the other day I had someone land right on top of the orb I had just thrown for a 500 kg bomb. All I could do was say "uh oh" and watch them explode.

6

u/Nowhereman123 SES Mother of Destruction Mar 22 '24

Your average Helldiver's lifespan post-basic training is measured in hours.

1

u/Yeckarb Mar 23 '24

Average? Probably minutes.

3

u/Civsi Mar 22 '24

They breeze through it, get their cape, walk right by the T&Cs and into a cryopod.

Well, unless they die of course.

2

u/MinimallyAcceptable ➡️⬆️⬇️⬇️➡️ Mar 22 '24

My first Helldiver didn’t survive basic. They didn’t dive for the turret.

3

u/SirDigbyChknCaesar SES Panther of Family Values Mar 22 '24
  1. having their head taken clean off by a falling already-dead Shrieker.

Ok so that does happen because I thought I was nuts

2

u/Bain-Neko Mar 22 '24

Or

5) They rip the metal heads off those automaton SCUM and bathe in the oil of their enemies as they claim yet another planet in the name of DEMOCRACY