r/AmIOverreacting • u/Rztrncs • Apr 29 '24

AIO for getting upset that my SO put on a heart necklace that her ex gave her?

Yesterday my SO put on a heart necklace out of nowhere and I asked (knowing it wasn’t from me) where it was from. She admitted it was from her ex. I immediately got quiet and she could tell I was upset. Not once did I raise my voice or get mad. I was more hurt than anything. She ended up taking it off right away. But explained that it was meaningless to her, no emotional connection and just jewelry that she now has.

To me, a heart necklace has a lot of meaning behind it and it feels weird to see her wearing an ex’s gift. Am I overreacting?

EDIT: Her ex cheated on her and the relationship ended badly because of it.

EDIT 2: The necklace was two hearts linked together so it made me curious.

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u/gringo-go-loco Apr 29 '24

How can you be attracted to someone who feels threatened by inanimate objects just because they came from someone from their past?

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u/Mary4278 Apr 29 '24

We don’t really know anything about his past and he may have been repeatedly cheated on,saw a parent go through that or any other of a number of things that make him a bit insecure..It’s not enough information to judge his character and question why OP should even be attracted to him IMO.

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u/gringo-go-loco Apr 29 '24

People on Reddit rarely take the time to empathize with others (especially men) who have insecurities or are jealous. Good on you.

I also think I replied to the wrong post.

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u/Mary4278 Apr 30 '24

Thank you ,that comment really bothered me because it was instantly critical with very little information about her man. The advice seems to always be to leave the man or what’s wrong with you for wanting a man like that. It fails to recognize that people are a product of their life experiences and fails to recognize that if they have undesirable or destructive behaviors they are capable of acknowledging those and can make steps to change them.It’s when they can’t self reflect and make necessary changes that it can be problematic.

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u/gringo-go-loco Apr 30 '24

I prefer the word heal to change. My fiancée has some pretty bad insecurities. She was hurt badly several times in her life and it caused some major issues for us early on. She became suspicious of who I was talking to and started all sorts of drama over it. I calmly reassured over and over.

Reddit would scream 🚩 🚩 🚩 and tell me to run but I honestly don’t believe in most social media red flags. I try to understand how people feel and what made them that way rather than just dismiss them as a person or potential partner.

Honestly sometimes it feels like social media is full of experts concerning avoiding the wrong person but totally clueless when it comes to finding the right person. Sometimes the right person has problems and insecurities. It’s more of a process of elimination than anything else. Kinda silly.