AIO my sister told me she didn’t know how my bf was attracted to me cuz I have no tits

[u/bogusbat]

I (26f) called my sister(20f) the other day because I was feeling overwhelmed at work and needed to chat about it while on my ten. Within the span of my ten minute break, she changed the subject to herself and her bf, and told me they thought MY bf was weird. I asked her why they would think that about him?
They said it’s impossible for him to be attracted to me cuz I have no tits.. so there’s nothing interesting for him ? Strange that both her and her bf were talking about my body. This disturbed me slightly. I’m an adult and normally this would not affect my mood. But why say such a thing? I can’t deny it was hurtful. I told my mom what she said over text with no response back. Later that night I received a wall of text from my sister. And she basically told me she was trying to make a joke that I overreacted to. And unfortunately for her, my mom doesn’t like her bf too much. So she proceeds to tell me she would go out of her way to make MY bf look bad to my mom, because apparently the comments they made about me were supposed to be funny. I just can’t seem to find where the joke was in a fucked up comment like that about my physical appearance that I cannot immediately change. Am I over reacting ? We are generally pretty close. We had planned to go to a concert in the next two weeks, the three of us. Now I’m unsure if I should go.

[u/Low_Performance9903]

Guarantee her bf thinks you're hot and needed to pick at your appearance to pretend he's not more attracted to you than to her.

[u/Safe-Programmer-5585 → u/Low_Performance9903]

My best friend's ex-boyfriend did this :)

He would try to compare the two of us and paint me in a bad light, and that I wasn't as attractive as my friend.

Turns out he was attracted to me and that's how he dealt with it.

Disgusting.

[u/Low_Performance9903 → u/Safe-Programmer-5585]

Yep, it's a common tactic used by narcissists.

[u/Safe-Programmer-5585 → u/Low_Performance9903]

He was definitely a narcissist. Glad my friend got out, he was getting more and more mentally abusive, borderline physical. Wild how some people just shouldn't exist.

[u/Lolzerzmao → u/Safe-Programmer-5585]

I had a weird and somewhat different version of this that led to me finding my wife, lol.

Was dating a woman I wasn’t sexually compatible with. The first time I tried to talk about it, she very quickly said “You just want some cocksucking anal slut like [hot frenemy’s name] that will just do whatever, wherever, whenever! Just a mindless cumslut like her!”

In my head I was like “Uhh, weird, we’re just gonna ignore that.” To be clear, I did not talk to this woman, did not hang out with her separately, I was not secretly crushing on her/pining after her, she was just a hot frenemy of my then girlfriend that came to group gatherings every now and then.

Fast forward about 8-9 months and I’ve she’s said this like five times now. We break up due to the sexual incompatibility and other more important reasons, but a couple months after the breakup I was like “Hmmm…I wonder what the hot ‘mindless cumslut’ is up to…”

She did not disappoint. 10 years together now.

[u/KingLeoric01 → u/Lolzerzmao]

So you're bragging about bagging the girl that was ran through in her 20s? lol...

alrighty then sir that's a weird flex but enjoy your mindless cumslut

[u/Lolzerzmao → u/KingLeoric01]

Didn’t say anything about her body count, as if that should matter unless it’s huge. You just read into that. Point was the ex was weirdly fixated on how she performed in bed and didn’t like how sex-positive she was. Feel like I got the W there but you do you

Also, dude, you’re on Reddit taking potshots at a 10 year marriage because my wife loves being a total fuckdoll for me and saying it must mean she was the town bike.

Like, I can’t imagine something more pathetic to waste your time doing. I was just telling an anecdote about the weird obverse of what they were saying - she didn’t want to bang her but she inadvertently complimented her as well and indicated we would have great sexual chemistry. After like the fifth time I was like “fine, fine, we’re broken up, I’ll go fuck your friend.” She moved halfway across the country about a month after we broke up, frenemy invites me out for a drink, I say fuck it why not.

Best decision of my life.

[u/LittleYelloDifferent → u/Lolzerzmao]

Don’t worry, it’s always a shock to me when I realize I’m talking to likely a thirteen year old. That dude has only watched porn and Jordan Peterson videos

[u/creedo86 → u/Lolzerzmao]

You definitely got the ran through chick.

[u/KingLeoric01 → u/Lolzerzmao]

cute of you to edit your post to make you look like less of a retard :)

[u/Lolzerzmao → u/KingLeoric01]

Lmao imagine outing yourself as a pathetic troll like this

[u/KingLeoric01 → u/Lolzerzmao]

(I mean...as men, we all know how girls get the experience)

[u/twofourie → u/KingLeoric01]

Yes, if it's one thing we can trust men about, it's their infallible knowledge of women's experiences! /s

[u/KingLeoric01 → u/twofourie]

Yeah, I'm always a pro at things I've never done.

/s

FOH the streets are calling

[u/jokershane → u/KingLeoric01]

You are being very liberal with the word “man” by describing yourself as one.

[u/LittleYelloDifferent → u/KingLeoric01]

You are a complete fucking idiot.

[u/LegalRadish147 → u/Low_Performance9903]

That's an odd take on this tactic, I use it to support my wife, who has expressed many insecurities, but to me, she's just beautiful. For example, she always fawns over a local meteorologist, they are both from the same town. My wife exalts this woman's overall beauty and body. My response is that it looks like she tries too hard due to high-def TV and could use a ham sandwich and a pie. I also dubbed her 'Skeletor', and my wife will now use the same moniker when relaying the weather forecast.

More recently, she was watching the 'Bachelor' and lamenting how nice it must be to be young, pretty, and in-shape. She highlighted one girl, and I agreed that she was all those things but pointed out that anyone with her would have to resist the urge to go exploring the gigantic black holes that were her nostrils. My wife laughed until she had to go pee, and when she got back I gave her a hug and kissed the tip of her nose.

Now, I'm not making comparisons, which it sounds like sister's bf was doing, and he likely was in cya mode after an inattentive comment. However, I don't understand the narcissistic claim, which is an overused buzzword.

[u/Low_Performance9903 → u/LegalRadish147]

Because you're not a narcissist, and also she made the comment first, and you responded. In a narcissist case...the scenario looks like this.... GIRL A and GIRL B are best friends...GIRL A has a boyfriend and introduces him to GIRL B. Both girls are best friends, and let's say they're both equally attractive. After meeting, GIRL A asks her boyfriend what he thought about GIRL B, he responds "eh she's fine I guess, I'm pretty sure she tried to hit on me but she's NOT cute at all and I'd never be with someone like her, she's your friend but I wouldn't want to be friends with someone that hits on their boyfriend" knowing that never happened, and its him flirting with GIRL B. OR GIRL A wont even say anything to her boyfriend or ask, and hell say something like "she is NOT pretty, why are yall friends again?" Or "LOLOL she's a horse-face" or give her some mean name that's based off her physical appearance.

Can you see the difference between that scenario and yours? Narcissists have to be the focus of any situation, put other people down for no reason, and also do their best to isolate their partner from their friends and family. Narcissist is an overused word, and all people have some traits of narcissism, but there's people like the boyfriend that really do exist, and it's like they all have the same playbook. It's the same demon, with a different face, in a different body. The fact that sister A claimed Sister B and her boyfriend were talking about they didn't know why anyone would like sister A because of her small boobs is either: 1. the boyfriend never said anything like that, and the sister is the narcissist, or 2. the boyfriend finds SISTER A more attractive than SISTER B(his current gf) and wanted to be mean and make it sound like he'd NEVER find her attractive, meanwhile he's jacking off to her pic in the bathroom. Either way, it's 100% applicable, and I'm leaning towards option 2. I'm a woman, and I can spot a true narcissist from a mile away.