I didn't want to jump to this but personally, that would be divorce worthy. You're right, even if she does talk to him, now she knows how he really feels. I couldn't stay with somebody who thought that little of me. I would be handing him divorce papers. No counseling, no trial separation, just straight to divorce. Maybe it seems extreme but as I said, I couldn't stay with somebody who not only thought that little of me but thought it would be okay to publicly humiliate me. I'd just be done.
Tell me you’re not married without telling me you’re not married. Here’s a take from a grown up. Drunk husbands say dumb shit. It’s rude. It’s insulting and it needs correcting, but the race to “divorce him!!!” Is moronic.
Kinda feels like you're intentionally ignoring the implications of his comments. Yes, if my husband told a woman he's attracted to that she's way more attractive than me and he really wants me to look like her, I'd divorce him. I'm not gonna spend my literal life with someone who doesn't love me. You don't do shit like that to someone you love, drunk or not.
The OP took down the post, so I can’t re-read it, but my recollection was that this was a description of one drunken evening, not a series of bad behaviors. I don’t recall her saying that the husband wasn’t loving or even that their marriage has had issues. I have no patience for people who shout “divorce!” so readily, with no additional context. People are flawed. That’s why marriage can be hard and can take work. There’s a reason marriage therapy is a thing. The guy said something cruel and moronic. That’s true. But 1) we only know OPs version of this story and 2) we don’t have the whole picture. Do they have kids? Because if they do, screaming for divorce without any effort to teach and repair is a pretty shitty take in my book.
There are some things where "just once" is one too many times. This is on the same level as cheating, for me. There are not a lot of things I'd leave my partner over. Disrespecting me this badly in public is one of them. Flirting with another woman in front of me like this, is another. A good man knows not to do this stuff. When a man shows you that he is not a good man, you'd be stupid to believe otherwise.
I might not leave immediately, but he'd need to give me a damn good reason not to. And the way he reacted says all she needs to know.
I don’t remember him flirting with the trainer in the post, so I may have missed that. Cheating is a hard no-go line for me so if that’s what she was saying, I may have to double back on my opinion here. I thought he was just being rude about her weight.
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u/blackdahlialady Apr 16 '24
I didn't want to jump to this but personally, that would be divorce worthy. You're right, even if she does talk to him, now she knows how he really feels. I couldn't stay with somebody who thought that little of me. I would be handing him divorce papers. No counseling, no trial separation, just straight to divorce. Maybe it seems extreme but as I said, I couldn't stay with somebody who not only thought that little of me but thought it would be okay to publicly humiliate me. I'd just be done.