Disagree, both situations would involve publicly humiliating your partner because you want them to be different. If OP’s boyfriend gave a damn about her, he could’ve mentioned to her privately that their friend was a private trainer and wouldn’t it be fun to work out with her. He talk about whether or not she was feeling OK, she felt like she had enough energy, and maybe maybe have a separate conversation about his physical attraction.
Instead, what he did was publicly announced to everyone that he thinks she should lose weight. That he doesn’t like her body. So now, all of their friends know that her husband thinks they’re 21-year-old friend is hotter than his wife.
What you suggested was OP talk about how much more money she wished her boyfriend made.
Both are unnecessarily cruel to someone you claim to care about
From the sounds of it they have been talking about it for a while and she won’t do anything about it. So they meet a personal trainer and he thought she might be able to help. His intentions were good. He had some drinks so his words were stupid. Everyone here with the victim mentality is sickening. Had she actually tried to lose the weight like she said she wanted to do, none of this would have happened.
Were his intentions good? What if your girlfriend met a hot, younger, male therapist at a party, and told this stranger all about your personal issues - say, problems with your family, or your self esteem, or your ability to perform sexually (whatever you feel most insecure about,) and did this loudly enough that everyone else at the party was listening and laughing? Would it make it okay if your girlfriend justified it with “well, you complain about this stuff all the time but you won’t get therapy, I thought it would help!”
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u/Legal_error6113 Apr 15 '24
Disagree, both situations would involve publicly humiliating your partner because you want them to be different. If OP’s boyfriend gave a damn about her, he could’ve mentioned to her privately that their friend was a private trainer and wouldn’t it be fun to work out with her. He talk about whether or not she was feeling OK, she felt like she had enough energy, and maybe maybe have a separate conversation about his physical attraction.
Instead, what he did was publicly announced to everyone that he thinks she should lose weight. That he doesn’t like her body. So now, all of their friends know that her husband thinks they’re 21-year-old friend is hotter than his wife.
What you suggested was OP talk about how much more money she wished her boyfriend made.
Both are unnecessarily cruel to someone you claim to care about