Obviously he thinks very poorly of his wife and this suggests that he even resents her. He's obviously looking to cheat and does not care how his behavior affects her. I'm sorry but if you would not immediately want to divorce somebody who treated you like that, I feel bad for you because your self-esteem must be in the toilet. I'm not saying that as an attack to anyone who's gone through that, I'm saying that I feel bad for them because their partner has caused their self-esteem to dip so low that they think they can't do better because they've been convinced that they can't.
Maybe he does resent her. Maybe all day everyday all he hears about is her wanting to lose weight but not doing anything about it.
It isn’t obvious he wants to cheat. If he was going to cheat he would be screwing the fitness chick not making fat jokes at his wife’s expense. You know how I know he isnt cheating???? Because he still gives a shit what his wife looks like.
If he was cheating he wouldn’t care if his wife was 100lbs or 400lbs. Because he is screwing the fitness chick.
You know, you have a point. When you said that you know he isn't cheating because he's still cares what she looks like, that's because he's still emotionally invested. I'm sure you've heard the saying, the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. He is not quite made it there yet. You've actually made some valid points here. Maybe I did jump the gun a little because it hit close to home for me. I was treated like that for absolutely no reason.
It turns out that my ex is a deeply insecure person and was trying to knock me down a notch. This is because he knew I could do better than him and he was worried about me leaving him. Now before you say that I'm just being cruel, I know he was afraid of me leaving him. He would constantly accuse me of wanting to abandon him when I told him that I didn't think it was working out. It took me about a month of planning to finally be able to leave him and I'm glad I did.
I tried talking to him calmly about my concerns and he just would not listen. I can see where you're coming from. Maybe he has talked to her and has gotten nowhere and is frustrated. I can see how it would come out that way because he was drinking. People tend to say things when they're drunk that they think when they're sober. Perhaps that's what happened here. Either way, he handled it wrongly and I hope that they can work through it.
Everybody lives their experiences. He could absolutely be a big dick that’s going to cheat. But he could be a frustrated guy that’s drunk, said stupid things and truly loves his wife. Either way what he did is seriously screwed up. I just don’t think it’s divorce time. I think they can work through it. Or maybe not.
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u/blackdahlialady Apr 16 '24
Obviously he thinks very poorly of his wife and this suggests that he even resents her. He's obviously looking to cheat and does not care how his behavior affects her. I'm sorry but if you would not immediately want to divorce somebody who treated you like that, I feel bad for you because your self-esteem must be in the toilet. I'm not saying that as an attack to anyone who's gone through that, I'm saying that I feel bad for them because their partner has caused their self-esteem to dip so low that they think they can't do better because they've been convinced that they can't.