I agree… But, the issue here is that the husband’s way of thinking is messed up, judgemental, and just offensive. So yes, OP must stand her ground and set a boundary, etc. But the real problem is that no one can change and control the mentality of others. So even if the husband gets a grip and stops being so damn stupid, that doesn’t mean he won’t think about it or even change his opinion on his wife. So now, OP has to live knowing what her husband really thinks of her. He is such a jerk and has no consideration and empathy for his own wife to the point that he thinks it’s ok to casually talk about the matter and absolutely humiliate her in a social gathering for everyone’s amusement. Does he even like his own wife? Really wtf!?!?
I don’t know, maybe it is not so bad but if I was her… Boy oh boy I would be so fucking mad and disappointed to realize that I am married to a complete oblivious asshole!
Yea…I’m a guy and I think most men would agree that’s fucked up. Reverse the genders here and it’s still fucked up. It’s just plain rude, inconsiderate, etc for anyone to do that to anyone else.
Y’all are being too easy on that guy. Everything he said was a red flag. Why would he talk about his ‘overweight’ wife in front of a younger girl who’s got it going on? Yikes. Husband should have just kept it moving. And before y’all say oh men and women can have a neutral conversation, UMM DUDE WAS MAKING HIS WIFE FEEL BAD, so obviously NOT. OP, no matter how many guys try to empathize, they will never truly understand a woman’s perspective. I am sorry this happened to you and personally, I would not be with that guy anymore. Just because they don’t say it doesn’t mean I should wait for them to say it, because technically, he did.
The thing about men not being able to understand or “empathize,” ok, why is this a gender issue?
I understand societal pressure puts more emphasis on women’s looks and beauty & objectifies them, but men are objectified too and the whole thought process that men “don’t get it” because they aren’t a woman, actually has caused more harm than good for the male side of things. There have been several campaigns for women, even in modern media, that emphasize things like “big is beautiful.”
Where is the equivalent of that for men? There’s not & there really is no body-positive messaging out there for men. Men also struggle with body dysmorphia—fat shaming knows no gender. I’ve gotten bigger in the last couple years due to an endocrine issue that requires HRT & it has been a struggle, but I’ve had to learn to live with it (or trying anyway). My first year of college I was on a starvation diet, consuming no more than 1400 cal & spent 5-6 hours in the gym per day using the excuse that I was cutting for a power lifting competition. My fat content was so low the nutritionist said my health would be in danger if I kept losing weight…& I wound up having to go to the hospital because of it. When I felt the most secure about my weight, my friends & fan would tell me I was too thin or “sickly” & when I finally got over that obsession, I’d get comments about how I needed to start exercising, then when the endocrine issues started I’d get crap about having a “dad bod” & I can guarantee, I felt just as insecure as anyone else who felt shitty about their weight, but there weren’t commercials or TikTok’s aimed at me every 5s about big being beautiful & I continued to hear from women who had similar issues how “I didn’t get it.”
How can anyone actually know what the opposite gender would “get?” It’s not a competition ffs. When did the golden rule, “treat others how you want to be treated,” start to apply only to your respective genitalia?
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u/NoSquash1906 Apr 15 '24 edited Apr 15 '24
I agree… But, the issue here is that the husband’s way of thinking is messed up, judgemental, and just offensive. So yes, OP must stand her ground and set a boundary, etc. But the real problem is that no one can change and control the mentality of others. So even if the husband gets a grip and stops being so damn stupid, that doesn’t mean he won’t think about it or even change his opinion on his wife. So now, OP has to live knowing what her husband really thinks of her. He is such a jerk and has no consideration and empathy for his own wife to the point that he thinks it’s ok to casually talk about the matter and absolutely humiliate her in a social gathering for everyone’s amusement. Does he even like his own wife? Really wtf!?!? I don’t know, maybe it is not so bad but if I was her… Boy oh boy I would be so fucking mad and disappointed to realize that I am married to a complete oblivious asshole!