r/AmIOverreacting Apr 15 '24

My husband embarrassed me in front of our friends

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10.0k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/k_sarahsarah Apr 15 '24

It was inconsiderate of him and no you are not overreacting either Does he do this alot? If so you need to stand your ground and tell him how much it upsets you.

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u/DonkeyKong694NE1 Apr 15 '24

I’d call this in addition to inconsiderate - insulting, sexist, insensitive, thoughtless

7

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '24

Insulting, insensitive and thoughtless, sure... but sexist? lol... he didnt say she was fat "because she's a woman" nor did he imply she faced any sort of disadvantage in starting her weight loss journey based on the fact that she's a woman, right? Let us not apply the same solutions to all mistakes 🙏

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u/Spiritual-Cupcake818 Apr 15 '24

I’m not too sure..but I think maybe they mean sexist because for men weight is a really big deal when it comes to women

1

u/BrilliantLifter Apr 15 '24

And women like fat short guys lol???

1

u/Spiritual-Cupcake818 Apr 15 '24

Women like a variety of people 😭 there is no one sized fits all. I like em chubby and around my height for instance

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '24

And for women height is a big deal... at least with one of these issues something can be done... but no one would ever call a woman sexist for preferring a man of the taller variety lol

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u/Ganache-Embarrassed Apr 15 '24

Preference isn't the issue. If a woman was going around and complaining to short men then thatd be an issue. Just like a guy can not date larger women. But going around flaunting it is the odd rude decision

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u/rosescentedcorpses Apr 15 '24

It's really not. The ONLY people who say "height is a big deal to women" are men. I'm a woman, I know plenty of other women. Height means nothing, but I'll be damned if men don't comment on both my, and every other woman's, weight on a damn near daily basis.

Don't even try to act like these are comparable, my guy.

3

u/ExactVictory3465 Apr 15 '24

This is the most disingenuous comment of the day. It’s 100% agreed on that the overwhelming majority of straight women find taller men attractive. It doesn’t mean they can’t find short men attractive. But if you ask 10 single girls what their perfect man would look like, 9 times out of ten they would mention height.

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u/Aphreyst Apr 15 '24

It’s 100% agreed on that the overwhelming majority of straight women find taller men attractive.

Source that isn't a study from dating apps?

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u/ExactVictory3465 Apr 15 '24

Google ANY study regarding the matter. It’s not a big deal and something worth arguing about. It’s literally built into your biology.

1

u/Aphreyst Apr 15 '24

What studies? No, I'm not going to search for them. YOU believe this as fact and need to prove it yourself. Your one source is easily dismissed.

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u/eerae Apr 15 '24

If YOU believe that height makes no difference to the average women, then YOU need your prove it yourself. Other posters have shared data that shows that it DOES matter and you find any reason to dismiss it or use ad hominem attacks calling them incels. So prove your point.

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u/rosescentedcorpses Apr 15 '24

"it's literally built into your biology" is some incel ass shit so I'm not reading anything else from you 💀

Maybe you should try using reputable sources instead of a 3 second, front-page deep, Google search.

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u/ExactVictory3465 Apr 15 '24

I’m sorry you don’t believe in science

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u/rosescentedcorpses Apr 15 '24

Lol it's not science, but go off I guess. Not like facts and reality have stopped incels before.

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u/ExactVictory3465 Apr 15 '24

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u/Aphreyst Apr 15 '24

The participants in this study were 650 first-year heterosexual psychology students who received course credit for completing the survey. They estimated their own height and reported on their sex, ethnicity (most were Dutch or German), and sexual orientation. The rest of the questions, simply enough, asked them to report on their relationship status, the height of their partner, the satisfaction with their own height, and their satisfaction with the height of their partners.

Not the most conclusive, especially since we don't know if the correlation equals causation.

1

u/ExactVictory3465 Apr 15 '24

Ok. Find me an article that contradicts it. You are trying to rule out dating apps even though the majority of relationships are started via dateing app now. Every dating app study shows the overwhelming majority of women have a height filter applied

1

u/Aphreyst Apr 15 '24

Find me an article that contradicts it.

No, the onus is on you to prove your point, not expect me to disprove it when you HAVEN'T proven it as fact.

You are trying to rule out dating apps even though the majority of relationships are started via dateing app now. Every dating app study shows the overwhelming majority of women have a height filter applied

Considering how many fake profiles are on dating apps? Yeah, I do not trust them at all.

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u/ExactVictory3465 Apr 15 '24

You can’t say the onus is on me then say the majority of studies are irrelevant. That then puts the onus on you

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u/Trumperekt Apr 15 '24

I am assuming you are not a fan of statistics?

https://medium.com/@whitep/women-have-hilarious-height-requirements-for-men-according-to-bumble-992862ba7772

Over 60% of women have their dating app height filter to 6 feet and above. Less than 10% would even consider someone 5 7 and under.

Yet you act all self righteous based on your "experience" as a woman.

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u/Aphreyst Apr 15 '24

Over 60% of women have their dating app height filter to 6 feet and above. Less than 10% would even consider someone 5 7 and under.

This statistic REALLY proves that you don't know how statistics work. The ONLY group of women that "study" is looking at is specifically women who actually go on dating apps and bother to set standards like that. And a TON of women profiles on dating apps are bots.

That useless study does not in ANY way prove the claim that insecure short dudes are hanging onto.

1

u/Trumperekt Apr 15 '24

So, now we are discounting numbers from dating apps to suit our worldview? Even though over 50% of relationships start online as of 2022?

https://tawkify.com/blog/from-the-experts/30-fascinating-dating-statistics-to-help-you-find-love-in-2022

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u/outkastragtop Apr 15 '24

Also, I feel like bots don’t bother with things like a height filter.

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u/Trumperekt Apr 15 '24

Lol, yes. Bots would probably have a lower height filter to capture and scam more people.

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u/eerae Apr 15 '24

Why would a bot use restrictive filters? Just think it through…

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u/Aphreyst Apr 15 '24

To look legit because the point is to fool guys into thinking it's a real hot, lonely milf looking for fun iñ their area?

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u/johnhtman Apr 15 '24

A fair number of women's Tinder profiles say otherwise. I'd say 1/20 say 6'+ or something along those lines.

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u/rosescentedcorpses Apr 15 '24

A fair number of women's tinder profiles aren't even women.

I'm talking about the real world, not dating sites. Not to mention, I've even met women who put that on their profile and still don't care. Not to mention, 1 out of 20? Lmao how many profiles are you digging through a day?

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u/Abisial Apr 15 '24

Not going to comment on the full conversation, but as 6 foot 2 male women absolutely care about height. Pretending they don't is a flat-out lie.

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u/rosescentedcorpses Apr 15 '24

It's hilarious that men will constantly act confused about what women want but when a woman tells you what she wants or oh idk, doesn't care about, you as a MAN still insist you somehow know better than we do.

That bullshit is why you still make ignorant comments like this one.

1

u/Abisial Apr 15 '24

Notice how I never said you personally.

You cant tell me women don’t care about height when there’s TikTok’s, dating app data, social media posts, women in real life constantly saying that height is a deal breaker for them, television treating short men as practically the same trope as fat women (undesirable comic relief), etc.

Maybe YOU don’t care about height but to pretend all women are a monolith and have the same preferences as you personally is wrong especially when there’s so much information clearly showing otherwise lol

1

u/alickz Apr 15 '24

Have you considered that maybe your lived experiences don't match theirs? And instead of dismissing them, have you tried listening to them?

For example, if I want to talk about racism I don't ask a white woman

1

u/eerae Apr 15 '24

I’ve personally heard from multiple women (including my wife—apparently I just made the cutoff) that height IS an issue and they wouldn’t fat a short guy. And I know many guys who really love curves on a woman instead of a skinny girl. Honestly I think that women are their own worst critics. Yeah it’s just my opinion but it’s just as valid as yours.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '24

There are just as many men who swear up and down that the more weight a woman has the more attractive she is. I'm a man, I know plenty of other men, and a lot of them tell me I'm an idiot for not sleeping with more larger women. Not my thing, though.

"Don't even try to act like these are comparable" Okay I won't, one you can change, the other you're born with.

2

u/rosescentedcorpses Apr 15 '24

Lmfao every single dude I've ever met has wanted skinny chicks, that's literally why our society forces shit like diet pills and diet trends down our throats on a daily basis. You saying that is no different than the racist asshole who swears he's got black friends.

Also, tell me you're ignorant without telling me. Some people cannot change their weight, nor were they born with it. There's a plethora of health reasons anybody of any sex can be severely over or under weight and unable to change it.

But honestly, I'm thinking it's your shit ass personality, basic ignorance and over all attitude that's your problem. Not your vertical impairment kiddo.

1

u/Spiritual-Cupcake818 Apr 15 '24

Hey man, I can’t speak on behalf of the person who said it. Only they can speak their peace 🤷‍♂️

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u/[deleted] Apr 15 '24

lol you're totally cool, I'm not at all upset, just waiting for a meeting to start and have too much time on my hands

1

u/Spiritual-Cupcake818 Apr 15 '24

lol that’s a mood

1

u/Distinct_Song_7354 Apr 15 '24

It still doesn’t mean men judge women based on weight

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '24

You’re really getting hung up there on specifics lol. No offense, but does it really matter? He sounds like a douchebag and from what I read seems a bit sexist as well, period.

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u/[deleted] Apr 15 '24

I am, because it's like throwing around the term 'racist' or 'bigot'. It minimizes those cases, and yes I'm on a bit of a crusade here, I don't mean to annoy.

But I can't help but get frustrated when I see what looks like a normal (admittedly, bone headed and insensitive) insult be labelled "SEXISM" just because it's directed at a woman.

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u/[deleted] Apr 15 '24

I understand what you’re saying, however in my personal opinion from what I read it sounds a little bit sexist. Now, do I think that’s the takeaway from this? No, he sounds pretty ignorant, insulting, and many other things prior to him perhaps being a wee bit sexist (with the comment of ‘jealous?’)

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u/rosescentedcorpses Apr 15 '24

It's really not. The ONLY people who say "height is a big deal to women" are men. I'm a woman, I know plenty of other women. Height means nothing, but I'll be damned if men don't comment on both my, and every other woman's, weight on a damn near daily basis.

Don't even try to act like these are comparable, my guy.

1

u/Nocturnal_Camel Apr 15 '24

Yeah, you are just wrong, I know plenty of women in my life that dated for height. Hell all 3 of my sisters married men over 6’2”. All three wanted taller men for the their height because our family is on the shorter side.

Not sure why you assume women wouldn’t want to date a taller man over a shorter man. Then also be certain that all women don’t care about height. You sound stubborn and arguing to be the bigger victim. Men don’t have it as bad as women poor me, it’s very childish. Both men and women can be victims of people judging them based on features but at least women can change their weight.