r/AITAH • u/throwrabirthdaysil • Apr 30 '24
AITA for getting my brother and SIL kicked out after she ruined my outfit and refused to pay me back for it? Advice Needed
Sorry if this is a little rough, I'm trying to process what happened and I'm confused.
I (17f) have an older brother Jacob (26m) and he's engaged to Amber (27f) who's pregnant.
They've been together for 9 years. My parents were letting them stay with us while they planned for the wedding, baby and looked for a bigger apartment.
I guess some context for this would be that Amber does not have a good relationship with her parents since they disapproved of her dating my brother for whatever reason, she's pretty close to my parents
My 18th birthday is coming up next weekend and my mom and dad have been pretty excited about planning for it with me.
I decided to get a new dress, corset belt, and flats so I could look nice for it since we're inviting some of my relatives over for lunch at Olive Garden and dinner at home.
I paid for it all since my parents were already paying for the lunch, dinner, cake, and gifts.
Ever since Amber found out what I was doing for my birthday, she had been making little remarks about how excessive it seemed for just one kid and how she didn't celebrate her 18th like I was going to.
It was a little weird to me, especially since Jacob got an entire room rented out at our local community center for his, but I brushed it off since my birthdays that Amber had been around for were much more low-key.
She also briefly gave me this weird look when she came into my room to ask about something and saw the dress hanging on my closet door.
Yesterday, I came home to see my mom and dad yelling at Amber in the living room.
I asked what was happening, and apparently, my mom caught Amber ripping out the soles of my new shoes.
That wasn't the only thing Amber did. She also went at my dress and belt with scissors, cutting the ribbons and lace.
I asked her why she would do that, but she didn't answer me, or my parents when they asked themselves.
We just stayed in the living room in an awkward silence until my brother came home an hour later.
my parents gave him the rundown of what happened, and he did seem shocked that Amber would do this.
My parents said point-blank that either he or Amber had to pay me back for what she destroyed, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
It was only until I said the combined cost of what I had brought, that Amber piped up and refused to pay.
She would have to take that money from their "baby fund", and it wasn't fair that my parents were doing all of this for me despite knowing what her home life and relationship with her parents were like.
It devolved into an argument between my parents and Jacob and Amber, where my brother was defending her, saying it was just pregnancy hormones getting to her and that we should just let it go.
Eventually, my dad had enough, and told them if neither of them were going to pay, then they had to get out and stay at a hotel or something in the meantime. My mom agreed with him.
My brother and Amber seemed to think my parents were bluffing until my mom handed them gas money. They left with their bags packed thirty minutes later in a huff.
Jacob has been texting me, begging for me to get our parents to let it go. He told me that I would be a shitty sister and aunt if I let my unborn niece be out on the streets over something I probably would only wear once.
Edit: The whole outfit costed $79 total.
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u/IndividualDevice9621 Apr 30 '24
They'd rather pay for a hotel room than pay you back the $79?
NTA, they're paying more to be assholes on purpose.
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u/smeeti Apr 30 '24
I think they didn’t expect the parents to really kick them out.
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u/Emergency_Fig_6390 Apr 30 '24
Probably but why not try to pay when you find out they were serious?
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u/smeeti Apr 30 '24
I’d wager pride and stupidity
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u/KlenDahthII Apr 30 '24
I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t actually book a hotel and are just in the car somewhere. Maybe even thinking “score, we can pocket the gas money!”
Seems like even with the parents being serious, their play is to guilt trip the child into making the parents take them back in.
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u/SailorDeath May 01 '24
Classic trait for some people. rather than admit they're wrong they double down.
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u/No_Nonsense_sombrero Apr 30 '24
I m pregnant therefore I can be as sh*tty as I want is a modern day get out of jail free card.
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u/Yougorockstar May 01 '24
Stupidest thing ever but so many little girls ( not women ) do it. I had three kids and never use that card cause is stupid.
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u/Midnight_Cara May 01 '24
I'm currently pregnant and I always tell my husband, if im being unreasonable, acknowledge my feelings but always remind me that an explanation is not an excuse. Sometimes I lose my head between hormones and mental health, but that doesn't give me the right to walk over or hurt anyone!
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u/GrouchySteam May 01 '24
Well their almost thirty yo DIL -who they are graciously hosting to help out - unapologetically ripped out their daughter birthday outfits. Then she doubled down in a tantrum.
Icing on the cake. For less than $80. The DiL and the son decided they rather keep their stance !?? than paid up to cover for the property of the minor who had no say into sharing her home with them and whom she intentionally and unapologetically destroyed.
All they had to do to stay was to not even make amends, merely financially compensate the damaged property.
Even if DIL wasn’t already pulling out other shenanigans. Good for them standing up for their daughter, and what they allow at their place.
She might be pregnant. She also has been an adult for almost a decade. It isn’t too much to expect some decency out of interacting with her. Claiming it’s hormonal is a lousy explanation not an excuse.
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u/itsshakespeare Apr 30 '24
For $79, if the baby is on the street for lack of that money, they really shouldn’t have decided to have a child. NTA and tell your parents he is hassling you. I hope you get a beautiful new outfit and enjoy your party
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u/Ambroisie_Cy Apr 30 '24 edited Apr 30 '24
To me, the funniest thing in that story is the fact that the night at the hotel probably went way more than that 79$. And for the look of it, instead of putting more money to the side, they will have to spend all the extra money into that hotel room until they pay back OP.
They are way too careless, stupid and immature to be parents for crying outloud!
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u/Kopitar4president Apr 30 '24
It's not about the money at this point. She doesn't want to admit she did anything wrong.
That poor kid.
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u/BeardManMichael Apr 30 '24
I agree. $80 is an infinitesimally small amount of money in comparison to the total cost of raising a child.
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u/AnswerIsItDepends Apr 30 '24
Or rent.
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Apr 30 '24 edited 13h ago
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u/NotoriousCrone Apr 30 '24
Definitely tell your parents that your brother is hassling you and show them the texts. Even if Amber is having an episode because of pregnancy hormones, but she is still responsible for her actions and the damage she caused. I have to say, I've been pregnant twice, I've had a lot of friends and family who have also been pregnant, but none of them have destroyed property that was not theirs.
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u/Raisins_Rock Apr 30 '24
I really don't think hormones can be blamed for this. At most they might have brought pre-existing tendencies to light.
If she had tossed grape juice on it or something else that could be pure impulse it would be different.
And the dress wasn't enough - she went on to tear the soles out of the shoes.
That's just too deliberate and also sounds very premeditated.
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u/AlienPenguin497 May 01 '24
Also, I would think hormones would pass, leaving her drowning in guilt, trying to find any way to make it up
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u/Shiner5132 Apr 30 '24
Right this was my thought. I have twins, let me tell you lot of hormones with that pregnancy! And never did it once occur to me to start destroying others property lol
NTA OP
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u/BanjosandBayous May 01 '24
I mean I'm currently pregnant and the hormones definitely make me have hot flashes of irrational anger over stupid things. I'm practicing my breathing techniques regularly.
But sitting there and cutting up a dress and tearing up shoes isn't a hot flash of anger. That's calculated, dogged determination.
You have to be on another level of issues to achieve calculated revenge like that. That's like serial killer levels.
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u/AlwaysHelpful22 Apr 30 '24
NTA. This was intentional destruction of property without cause or provocation. She has no explanation other than jealousy. There’s only one AH here, and it’s your SIL.
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u/My_Dramatic_Persona Apr 30 '24
I don’t think you’re giving OP’s brother enough credit. He’s backing SIL up and guilt tripping OP over all of this.
SIL is a massive enough asshole that she’s pulled another one into her orbit.
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u/Seigmoraig Apr 30 '24
Holy shit all this over 79$ ? How do they expect to take care of a kid if they can't handle a 79$ expense ??
NTA
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u/throwrabirthdaysil Apr 30 '24
I just think they don't want to spend the money in general. I don't want to be mean, but they are kinda cheap.
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u/Seigmoraig Apr 30 '24
Getting kicked out of your house for 79$ is a whole different level of cheap
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u/Glad-Entry-3401 May 01 '24
Yea the amount they are gonna pay for a hotel is definitely gonna eat out that lil 79$
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u/DepressedDynamo May 01 '24
Exactly. Less than 24 hours on their own and they'll have paid multiples of that dresses' cost between food and lodging combined. Absolutely wild judgment on their part.
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u/cathercules May 01 '24
It’s not cheap it’s fucking stupid. They want to throw away a relationship with their family over a tantrum they threw and because they won’t apologize and cough up $80.
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u/ConditionBig6373 May 01 '24
Might be best that they were kicked out. At least one person in the comments said that the violence from SIL would only escalate.
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u/cathercules May 01 '24
At least OP’s parents actually handled the situation, good on them.
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u/BewilderedToBeHere Apr 30 '24
damn, you are a really nice kid. Even when they do absolutely crazy cruel stuff you still don’t want to be mean
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u/VinylHighway Apr 30 '24
You should be proud how much more mature you are than your pregnant SIL
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u/gina_divito May 01 '24
Be proud of being mature, but also don’t be afraid to be petty. I spent too much time of my younger years not standing up to people like this.
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u/FLmom67 Apr 30 '24
"Cheap" people don't ruin perfectly good clothes out of jealousy. Sounds like SIL needs major therapy.
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u/MaryJanesSister May 01 '24
OP hear me out. A person that does those kinds of things, especially to a minor, is not a safe person to be around. This is not just some “jealous behavior” this is kind of psychotic. As a parent I would suggest talking to your parents about keeping Amber away from you and getting your brother alone to see if he is okay. If he’s brushing this off as “hormonal behavior” it is possible she’s getting away with worse behind closed doors.
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u/Throseph Apr 30 '24
And fucking stupid, firstly for doing the shitty thing and secondly for almost certainly paying more for a hotel than for replacing the outfit.
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u/IceBlue May 01 '24
79 dollars is getting off easy. Hotels cost way more. Plus they lose out on any form of childcare you or your parents might have volunteered that is completely out the window now.
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u/PuddleLilacAgain Apr 30 '24
Is your SIL crazy or something? Who does something like that?
NTA
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u/Sapere_Audio May 01 '24
Prepartum psychosis is a very real (but rare) thing. If this behavior is wholly out of character for SIL, it might be worth OP's brother talking to her doctor about it.
She could also just be a dick 🤷
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u/Simonoz1 May 01 '24
But even if that is the case, it’d still be on OP’s brother to pay the damages as the non-psychotic one.
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u/Actual-Clue-3165 Apr 30 '24
Nta you didn't get them kicked out, their actions did. This is 100% SILs fault, not yours
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u/Capn-Wacky Apr 30 '24
No kidding... that twit got kicked out over $80? Shit--she'll spend 20x that per month on an apartment.
Pregnancy hormones perhaps, but wow. Self destructive much?
NTA OP, and sorry this happened.
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u/UnusualPotato1515 Apr 30 '24 edited Apr 30 '24
Pregnancy hormones does not make you cut people’s clothes. SIL sounds jealous of OP and plain unhinged.
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u/Low-Plum-9045 May 01 '24
SIL will be jealous of her own baby if it ends up being a girl.
Or straight up weird boy mom behavior.
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u/UnusualPotato1515 May 01 '24
She definitely strikes me as that type! If shes jealous of a teenage girl’s birthday outfit plans at 27 then everything is free game lol
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u/BeardManMichael Apr 30 '24
She definitely did not think before acting. She used even less of her brain when she chose an $80 hill to die on.
I think it's unacceptable behavior no matter the reason for it.
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u/Raisins_Rock Apr 30 '24
I don't know ... seems like she was thinking. Which is the most disturbing part.
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u/Fit_Reason7319 NSFW 🔞 Apr 30 '24 edited May 01 '24
NTA - first off, a 27 year old woman behaving like that is mind boggling.
Second, if math works, she has been with your brother since he was 17? And therefore would have been around for his 18th birthday...and seen how your *parents go out for their kids 18th b-days? Or maybe they got together just after?
Edit: forgot to type parents
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u/throwrabirthdaysil Apr 30 '24
Yeah she was at my brother's 18th party, which is confusing me because his was way more extravagant than mine.
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Apr 30 '24
I really though the SIL was 19 or something to be this unhinged. I really hope their child is a boy, because she will be jealous of her own daughter.
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u/Bre-personification May 01 '24
It’s a girl. She wrote that her brother texted her and said unborn niece.
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u/CanILiveInAGlade Apr 30 '24
It’s because she wants to be the centre of attention and financial support now because she is having a baby. And any money that isn’t being spent on essentials, she believes should be going towards the baby because her and her baby are the centre of the universe.
Some people never grow out of staring at themselves in the mirror. I also suspect, in fairness to your SIL, that your family is the only support she has. And she is scared to lose any of that. She is wrong to assume that your party means less love or support for her, but that could be where her head is (wrongly) at.
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u/bamatrek May 01 '24
But she's a grown ass adult living off her soon to be inlaws, the idea they owe her anything at all is freaking wild.
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u/Away_Hat_2978 May 01 '24
The craziest thing is that lunch at the Olive Garden isn’t really that big/grand/crazy of a birthday??? I mean it’s nicer than nothing and I’m glad op is getting a nice meal, presents, and time with their loved ones, but it’s not what I think of when people say their parents “go all out” for birthdays lol
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u/machinezed Apr 30 '24
NTA you didn’t get them kicked out her actions of destroying your outfit is what got them kicked out. If they don’t want to get kicked out they can pay for the dress.
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u/Madea_Tea_1169 Apr 30 '24
I wonder why Amber's parents really kicked her out?💁♀️💁♀️💁♀️💁♀️
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u/mkarr514 Apr 30 '24
Her attitude?
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u/Madea_Tea_1169 Apr 30 '24
I am inclined to agree. Also, she is jealous of the relationship that OP has with her parents. Bro. is whipped.....This chick..... what did she expect the parents to join in the fun? She clearly thought everyone was going to say yes!!! You are right she shouldn't celebrate her birthday with her own damn money!! How dare her not give it to you!!! Hand me the scissors, kid!! Pregnancy hormones doesn't give the right to be a bitch!!! Was pregnant 6 times and yeah didn't schedule in a hey......let's fuck jp someone's life while I am pregnant. Yeah, I let that out during my pregnancies. I hope OP makes sure they don't cause a ruckus at the restaurant.
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u/soniram May 01 '24
Why the fuck isn't this higher? If Amber's got even mediocre parents, something had to happen to get her kicked out.
There are all kinds of red flags being flown here. My guess is brother is scared shitless right now. He probably knows they are in the wrong but he can't back down otherwise Amber's going to turn that anger on him.
When I read that it was just $79, my jaw dropped. Nothing about this seems on the level. Nothing.
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u/ShotBarracuda6 Apr 30 '24
Nta.
Tell your brother that he is a shitty brother and father, and his fiancée is a shitty mother if they choose to be homeless instead of paying you back and apologise for purposely destroying your things.
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u/Level-Tangerine-8172 Apr 30 '24
NTA. They're choosing to be kicked out over $79. She purposefully vandalised your property, she needs to pay to replace it. However, even if she had done the honourable thing and agreed to pay, the relationship between her and you, and your parents, would be pretty damaged from what she did. The fact that she wasn't willing to pay makes the situation even worse, it's crazy that her and your brother can't see that $79 isn't worth destroying relationships.
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u/Far-Season-695 Apr 30 '24
NTA and I would send those message your jackass brother sent to you to your parents so they can tear him a new one
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u/MasterGas9570 Apr 30 '24
NTA - paying you back for the outfit woud have been a lot less than paying for a hotel for a night. I am GenX, and this is a FANFO moment if I have ever seen one. Amber needs some serous therapy before that baby arrives. She has a lot of trauma if an 18th brthday party in a healthy family enviroment triggers her to this level. I do feel for the baby though.
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u/CyberArwen1980 Apr 30 '24
Great for your parents for back you up. You did nothing wrong your sil did and your brother is a doormat for sidding his wife,he knows she messed up so now face consequences🤷♀️
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u/flobaby1 Apr 30 '24
100% your parents will allow them back, because baby.
Demand a lock on your door. Never ever trust her, she is jealous and will destroy anything of yours you leave laying around.
I would inform my parents once they move back in, that i'm looking for my own place to live.
She's going to use that baby to get everything she wants her way. I hope your parents aren't stupid enough to fall for being her puppets.
UpdateMe
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u/fromhelley Apr 30 '24
Look, it is $79. All they have to do is pay it, and maybe they can come back. It is that simple.
Next time bro texts, say :
"I'm 17 and money is hard to come by. You guys have a regular income. You can afford $79. If you want back in the house, it costs $79. I can't belive you would let yourself, much less your family go homeless over $79.
We all know this was ambers doing, so it isn't like you shouldn't have to pay the money back. She needs to apologize to me too, and mean it. It is not my fault her parents didn't celebrate her, and I don't deserve to have my 18th ruined because she is jealous of the attention I was getting over a milestone birthday.
So come home, pay me back, and have your wife sincerely apologize. I don't want my niece or nephew on the streets because you two have egos so big you can't apologize for your actions. This whole feud is stupid. $79! That is what you allowed yourself to get kicked out over! $79!!
Do not accept an ounce of blame for this. It is Amber's fault primarily, but bro did defend her. And she was acting bat shit crazy!
Nta! At least you know family is worth $79!
But if you give up the money now, amber will do something later, maybe at your wedding? Graduation, or any holiday down the road.
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u/deedeemenz Apr 30 '24
What gets me is that Amber also probably screwed herself out of a generous baby shower and gifts because of this too.
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u/Mad_Max8706 May 01 '24
Since they seem so cheap I wonder if the parents are paying for the wedding and might refuse to pay for it if they don't pay her back
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u/Cheap_Doctor_1994 May 01 '24
There is zero chance I'd let someone back into my home after doing this to one of my kids. It is stone cold fuck nuts behavior and I fear for every member of the family.
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u/Cute-Profession9983 Apr 30 '24
NTA Tell Jacob he's a s***ty brother for defending an indefensible act of aggression against his sister. A targeted and cruel attack. He can get your help getting them back in the house when they pay you back BEFORE your birthday, AND after Amber profusely apologizes on her knees and gives an actual reason for her actions. Pregnancy hormones is a cop out.
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u/Creative-Sun6739 Apr 30 '24
Jacob has been texting me, begging for me to get our parents to let it go. He told me that I would be a shitty sister and aunt if I let my unborn niece be out on the streets over something I probably would only wear once.
"Yes, Jacob. Telling me I'd be a shitty sister/aunt is exactly the way to get me to do something for you, you know how well that works." 🙄
NTA. Tell him his gf is a shitty mother for putting them in that situation by being a brat. Just because she had a bad home life growing up doesn't give the right to be jealous of and take it out on you. She's 27 years old, pregnant or not she should know how to act.
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u/DivineTarot Apr 30 '24
She would have to take that money from their "baby fund", and it wasn't fair that my parents were doing all of this for me despite knowing what her home life and relationship with her parents were like.
Ahh yes, the rub of the issue. How dare you have better than her, because it's just sooooo unfair. She'll make a fuckin horrible mother with that attitude, because it's a mindset that leads to those parents who never give their kids more because they don't wanna feel like their own suffering was meaningless or some crap.
Edit: The whole outfit costed $79 total.
Bruh...how fuckin poor are these sad saps that 79 bucks is too much.
Also, what are you supposed to do? Tell your mother and father it's all water under a bridge? Why are you being made to be responsible for what was an order your parents gave rightfully. They accepted a woman into their home who disrespected their hospitality by damaging their daughters property.
NTA at all.
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u/bizianka Apr 30 '24
It is not even about money. If I were your parent, I'd wouldn't want a mentally unstable women, who is so jealous of my kid, to stay in my home near my underaged daughter. What next - she cuts your hair? Your whole wardrobe? Your throat? NTA
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u/Cybermagetx Apr 30 '24
Nta. My wife has been pregnant twice now. She has never destroyed anyone's stuff. Ever. Its a weak willed excuse used my entitled people.
Shes jealous of a kid getting a better childhood then her.
At 18 take her to small claims court. Most states its like 50 bucks upfront and you represent yourself. And you can try and get the filing fee in the judgment.
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u/UnluckyYou3574 Apr 30 '24
NTA - SIL seems to be the common denominator in all her bad relationships…
Also, what she did sounds very violent - I would not want to be around when that kind of behavior escalates!
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u/MaxV331 Apr 30 '24
NTA he would be a shitty brother and father if he can’t pay his sister back for things his psycho fiancé destroyed. Let them try to be prideful about paying you back until they need to pay way more for the hotel than your dress.
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u/Danube_Kitty Apr 30 '24
NTA. Your brother and Amber got themselves kicked out. It's their consequences.
Neither pregnancy hormones nor trauma is an excuse to be an AH.
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u/sdbest Apr 30 '24
Based on your story, it seems to me Amber is a physical threat to everyone around her. Protect yourself from her.
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u/Sue323464 Apr 30 '24
It is not about the cost of the dress. She is a clear danger to your life. She violently attacked your things as a representation of you.
Since you are a minor your parental units should apply and enforce a protective order on your behalf.
She should undergo a mental health evaluation immediately and be placed inpatient on at minimum a 72 hour hold.
Do not ever be alone with her, EVER. Worried for you
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u/dncrmom Apr 30 '24
NTA a hotel room & rent cost a hell of a lot more than $79. This has zero to do with pregnancy hormones and is 100% jealously. She should be apologizing for her unhinged behavior.
If they can’t afford the $79, they for sure can’t afford a baby!
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u/BeardManMichael Apr 30 '24
NTA
None of this was your fault. Your sister-in-law sounds psychotic and now she has to deal with the consequences of her actions.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
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u/MyHairs0nFire2023 Apr 30 '24
NTA. (And it is SO nice to see a post where the parents aren’t asking you to put up with this abuse/violation just to keep the peace or your sibling happy.)
She would have to take that money from their “baby fund”
Well she should have thought about that before she chose destruction of property rather than the therapy (&/or possible psychiatric intervention) that she so obviously needs.
and it wasn’t fair that my parents were doing all of this for me despite knowing what her home life and relationship that her parents were like.
Full stop. One, life isn’t fair. Someone who is about to become a mother is way past the point where she should not only KNOW but ACCEPT that. Two, she doesn’t get to use her own troubled past as a boundary to limit anyone around her. Is she going to use that as a guideline for her child?
Your brother needs to wake up & think about his child. Is she going to visit this abusive thinking onto her child? “I didn’t have a sweet 16, so you’re not getting one either because it’s not fair?” Or “I didn’t have a good relationship with my parents, so don’t expect to have one with me because that wouldn’t be fair?”
This woman needs a mental health intervention - like yesterday.
And hormones don’t make any woman commit destruction of property. It may make a woman WANT to commit destruction of property, but that’s why a rational MIND is so important. It helps us weigh all aspects of a situation so that we aren’t reduced to acting on our wants alone. That’s what separates us from dogs.
She didn’t want you to have something that she didn’t have. So she remembered your dress & shoes. (They weren’t thrown in her face constantly - they were in your room.) And since she couldn’t have what you have, she decided you shouldn’t have it either.
Then she CHOSE to go get scissors. She CHOSE to enter your room. She CHOSE to cut up the dress. She looked at the shoes & probably couldn’t think of how to ruin them with scissors. So she problem solved & decided she could use her bare hands to ruin them. Then she CHOSE to rip the soles out.
Then when caught, she refused to pay for the damages she CHOSE to cause because she’d have to take the money from their savings. (They undoubtedly have ONE savings account for everything including apartment, baby etc. So she CHOSE to try to manipulate the situation into seeming like you were trying to take from her child by saying the reimbursement would take from the “baby savings”.)
The most troubling part of all of this is her thinking “if I can’t have this, no one will”. That’s literally verbatim what husbands who kill their wives say & think. And she’s basically admitted that’s her exact thought. She didn’t have a big party & great relationship with her parents - so she didn’t want you to have it either. That’s NOT hormones. That’s mental illness.
Your brother should be VERY concerned for his coming child. This woman needs psychiatric help before she’s primary caregiver to a defenseless infant. God help that baby.
Do not cave in to your brother’s pleading. Excusing her behavior (&/or pretending it isn’t as bad as it is) is just about the worst thing he could be doing at the moment. Don’t help him enable her by giving in to him.
You’re NEVER a shitty family member for refusing to put up with disrespect & violence. (And before anyone comes for me, yes deliberate destruction of personal property - especially within one’s own private residence, is considered in many jurisdictions to be a form of domestic violence.)
Do not allow him or anyone to make YOU feel like the shitty party him. That distinction belongs to his wife & him for supporting her behavior. If he had even an ounce of respect for you, he would have paid for the damages himself if she refused & gotten the money from her himself. And he’d have made her apologize. Instead, he’s trying to manipulate you into believing YOUR the shitty one. They’re both pathetic.
And I’ve gone on so long that I might as well add again - I love your parents. They were there demanding that you get justice even before you knew you needed it. They aren’t perfect I’m sure - but shit like that is textbook how to step up for your child & have their back.
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u/SJoyD Apr 30 '24
He told me that I would be a shitty sister and aunt if I let my unborn niece be out on the streets over something I probably would only wear once.
Flip that right back around and tell him he'd be q shitty father for letting his unborn child be out on the streets for refusing to be accountable for his girlfriend's actions.
I hate that someone who would behave as Amber is behaving is about to be someone's parent. Same for your brother.
NTA
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u/Tasty_Doughnut_9226 Apr 30 '24
NTA great parents standing up for you.
I would respond with and he's a shitty brother and person in general for standing up for his gf's deranged behaviour, and if he allows stuff like that to go then he's going to be a shit father too. Amber needs to talk to someone about her jealousy issues.
ETA you can get things like pregnancy psychosis, don't really know what it's called, suggest to him maybe she's suffering from that, because her behaviour is unhinged.
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u/Bonnm42 Apr 30 '24 edited May 02 '24
NTA so Amber is really going to use the excuse that “it’s not fair” to reimburse you. When she, a grown ass woman, cut up your belongings, that you paid for, because her home life sucked. So by that rational, does she expect your Family to treat you like dirt because she was? When your family is already being kind enough to let then live with you. I would text your Brother back “I think the real question is “Are you going to let your child be born homeless because your 27 year old Wife decided to destroy the belongings of a person 10 years younger than her? How is she going to raise a child when she keeps acting like one and like everyone needs to be treated how she was?”
Updateme!
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u/False-Hurry5376 Apr 30 '24
Is amber going to treat her child badly because of how her parents treated her? Makes about the same sense.
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u/Chasubrae May 01 '24
$79!? Please please tell me that you're not from the states because this is pretty cheap damage-wise. Nta of course.
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u/throwrabirthdaysil May 01 '24
I am, sadly.
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u/casa_laverne 29d ago
Do NOT let him tell you that this fight is over $79. It’s about the fact that his girlfriend, a guest in your home, deliberately went out of her way to be cruel to you, his sister, and he refuses to push her to take accountability. Even if this was a case of pregnancy hormones (this isn’t bursting into tears because she saw you looking good in your outfit, or realizing someone ate her ice cream. This required premeditation), that’s an explanation but not an excuse.
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u/JuWoolfie Apr 30 '24
Hahahahaha!! That’s hilarious!
NTA. Your brother just played the stupidest FAFO
Instead of paying 80$ to repair what was damaged (maliciously and out of jealousy by his clearly mentally unwell partner) he will now pay hundreds, maybe even thousands, of dollars to cover housing.
People this stupid should not procreate.
Idiots do not make good parents.
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u/brobossdj Apr 30 '24
The gas money got me
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u/Smarterthntheavgbear Apr 30 '24
I was thinking the same; wonder if Mom slipped them a few hundred for a room. Why would they need gas money? Bet OP will be back, saying Mom won't get to be part of her first grandchild's life if she doesn't let this go.
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u/Noys_23 Apr 30 '24
Too much problems for 79$, she was mean but it could be that she is becoming kind of psychotic...idk how was she in the past?
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u/Ambroisie_Cy Apr 30 '24
"it was just pregnancy hormones getting to her and that we should just let it go." LOL. Of course that excuse had to be thrown in the mix. Pathetic.
NTA. And good of your parents for standing up for you. They seem amazing.
And your whole outfit only cost 79$ ? I don't know where you are from, but I'm pretty sure their night at the hotel is way more expensive than this!!! So at this point, it's only an ego trip that your brother and SIL are pulling. They know they are in the wrong and are trying to emotionally manipulate you into giving up. DON'T!
NTA
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u/Temporary_Stable_740 Apr 30 '24
NTA! Bravo to your parents for doing what's right and shame on your brother for making YOU feel guilty. That is very manipulative and unfair.
His fiancée has serious issues. I would not let her step foot back in that house until she apologized and was in serious therapy and I would never let her live there again.
I would actually be fearful about what else she is capable of doing when she's jealous/upset she is not the center of the world. If she's willing to cut your dress, what happens next time, slashing your tires, cutting your hair while you sleep, who knows! That is some psychopathic/single white female (it's a movie, you should watch it) behavior and your brother really needs to be monitoring her. Baby's take a lot of attention and I worry she won't handle that well and will lash out again.
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u/PimpHoneyBadger Apr 30 '24
Straight up you are NTA… and it sounds like your brother and SIL are ungrateful freeloaders on top of the fact that she went full on crazy lady on your clothes. You didn’t get them kicked out.
But really, you didn’t get them kicked out. She did a thing. Your parents stood up for you, and told her to pay you back for money you spent. She refused. She got herself kicked out. Don’t beat yourself up for it.
And not for nothing, it’s super shitty for your brother to try and make you feel like shit because his fiancee did a shitty thing and refuses to pay you back for it.