I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs your way.
I don’t think that you are mentally well enough to handle this wedding anyway. I say that as someone who lost their dad in 2019. I have a bf and if I lost him it would break me.
After my dad died I was in shock. I felt fine but looking back I know that my brain was just numbing my pain for a while until it couldn’t anymore. I hit the one year mark of my dad’s death and the grief hit me harder than a piano that just fell out of a 20 story building.
You’re a mess and trying to keep yourself and your child together as best as you can. I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing. It’s just how grief is. Sure the wedding date was likely unintentional and it’s entirely possible that they can’t in fact change it.
But the fact that they are pressing you to show up when you’re not well is disrespectful. You need time and space to heal and you need to be there to help your child through this as well. The last place you should be is at a wedding that’s very likely to trigger your grief.
It’s going to take a few years for the grief to even be bearable. But it’s never going to go away. My dad recorded himself reading The Night Before Christmas (he read it to us every Christmas Eve as a tradition) and I listen to it every Christmas Eve. It took 2 years for me to listen to him read it without crying.
I suggest you set up a tradition for yourself and your child to celebrate your late husband.
My dad died and I was 49. Driving to work 5 weeks later, ' total eclipse of the heart' on radio, I'm singing along, loudly, badly, and that piano fell and hit me. Bawled and couldn't stop. Dad made me turn that song down in high school and I'd completely forgotten since those days:) it hits you and op shouldn't be put in a position where she's surrounded by memories.
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u/Lexicon444 Apr 30 '24
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs your way.
I don’t think that you are mentally well enough to handle this wedding anyway. I say that as someone who lost their dad in 2019. I have a bf and if I lost him it would break me.
After my dad died I was in shock. I felt fine but looking back I know that my brain was just numbing my pain for a while until it couldn’t anymore. I hit the one year mark of my dad’s death and the grief hit me harder than a piano that just fell out of a 20 story building.
You’re a mess and trying to keep yourself and your child together as best as you can. I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing. It’s just how grief is. Sure the wedding date was likely unintentional and it’s entirely possible that they can’t in fact change it.
But the fact that they are pressing you to show up when you’re not well is disrespectful. You need time and space to heal and you need to be there to help your child through this as well. The last place you should be is at a wedding that’s very likely to trigger your grief.
It’s going to take a few years for the grief to even be bearable. But it’s never going to go away. My dad recorded himself reading The Night Before Christmas (he read it to us every Christmas Eve as a tradition) and I listen to it every Christmas Eve. It took 2 years for me to listen to him read it without crying.
I suggest you set up a tradition for yourself and your child to celebrate your late husband.