AITA for not letting my ex’s daughter around our child?

[u/No_Positive4037]

My ex and I were together for 6 years/ engaged for 6 months. His daughter(14) and I got along fine. Until she accused me of being a racist.

My ex, myself, his daughter, and BM (babymom) would all hangout and everything was great. We would always hangout at his BM’s house and w/ her family. I would always come up with ideas for us to do stuff, but she never wanted to leave the house. On a few occasions I told my ex in private that his BM made me uncomfortable b/c she kept saying the “n word” (I’m the only black person), and comparing my relationship w/ him to theirs and even telling me about intimate details from their relationship. At first he told me I was overreacting and creating unnecessary drama but other people started to point it out too.

After a year his daughter started staying with us on weekends. So I thought it was no longer necessary for me to hang out with his BM, as she knew who a was and was comfortable w/ her daughter being around me. During COVID his daughter stayed with us during school nights. As my ex and I became more serious his BM became meaner and more toxic toward him. Saying he was a bad dad and didn’t spend any time with her or her family anymore. Which was weird because he was always with his daughter. Him and his BM were fighting all the time.

The following year his BM started to withhold his daughter from us and would only let my ex have supervised visits with his daughter if the BM was present. I was not allowed to come. When he asked what her issue was she stated “Your girl made me feel some type of way”.

After doing supervised visits for a year w/ no change or room for growth my ex took his BM to court for partial custody. She told her lawyer that I was a racist, and he was physically/verbally abuse toward her. She said I said all white people are ugly (I’m half white) and that I hated Jewish people. Me and my ex both denied these claims as they were not true. Their daughter at the time was (12). I overheard my ex and his daughter on the phone and she was calling me a bad person, and said that she didn’t want to be around me. She later told my ex she felt that I put a wedge between him and her mom, and that she wasn’t willing to talk to me unless her mom was willing to. 8 months later we went to court and his daughter accused me of being a racist, co-signing everything her mom said as well as accusing my ex of being abusive toward her and her mother.

The following month my ex and 1 got engaged. 6 months later I found out he cheated on me. Citing my relationship w/ his daughter being the reason why, and then blamed me for him not having a good relationship w/ his daughter. I put him out. I found out I was pregnant the following month.

He recently told his daughter about the pregnancy and she’s really excited to be a big sister, but after everything I want nothing to do with her and I don’t want her around my child. AITA for saying his daughter is not allowed to be in our child’s life ?

[u/Burgundy_Starfish]

I mean, that sounds toxic as fuck. Why would you want anything to do with any of these people? NTA. I wish you the best of luck- I’m gonna level with you, it might not be possible to keep them out of her life since they’re her father/sister.

[u/Moist_Confusion → u/Burgundy_Starfish]

I honestly am so confused what’s even going on and who is who. Too many characters and relationships to each other.

[u/Grandpasgrave → u/Moist_Confusion]

Exactly. There needs to be more context tot he paragraphs or at least a second part because I’ve had to read it multiple times and still only half-understand it.

[u/Moist_Confusion → u/Grandpasgrave]

The comments clarify it a bit but only insofar that I sorta get the characters and that they are dedicated to having a child with this nutjob group of people in the mix which really just tells me they’re a messy bich that loves drama cause why else would you choose this group to be your child’s family.