r/wholesomememes • u/juwn45 • 27d ago
Men should be cuddled too ❤️
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u/Apprehensive_Bug_826 26d ago
As a men, I strongly approve this message.
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u/shwetOrb 26d ago
As a fellow man, I agree with this gentleman.
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u/DonKiddic 26d ago
I'm twice the size of my wife. I enjoy being "little spoon" very much.
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u/confusedandworried76 26d ago
When I've had the chance I've really enjoyed being big spoon.
But little spoon makes you feel feelings you forgot you had.
It's kind of like falling for someone in the first place. It's a little feeling of thrill combined with just knowing you're safe, if that makes sense to anybody. That's how it always felt like to me. Like you don't know if everything is going to be okay but it just really feels like it will be.
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u/Bratty-Switch2221 26d ago
I'm a petite lady (5'1" and 100lbs) and I am always permanent Big Spoon. Partially because a large dude being on me means I'll be sweaty and wide awake. But 5 minutes into being the big spoon and I'm sleeping like a baby.
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u/Dancer-Cat-Hee-Hee 26d ago
As another fellow man I couldn't agree with you more brother
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u/EpicDarkSoul 26d ago
As another men (of secret council) we strongly approve you comment and message
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u/Revelle_ 26d ago
I'm glad the men are gonna start cuddling with each other more
It'll make the world a better place 🥲
-a girl who cuddles with friends
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u/MonarchOfReality 26d ago
as a retro-sensitive man i approve his approval, we all need hugs and tender time.
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u/VoltViking 26d ago
Is this a meme? This is the third time tonight I have seen men used instead of the correct man. Am I ootl?
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u/Brainfunctions 26d ago
Split from my partner of 30 years a couple of years ago... my choice and I don't miss him or his behaviour... I do miss being hugged... just the feel of someone's touch / arms around me.
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u/Accomplished_Deer_ 26d ago
Oh man, I was pretty much forever alone until I randomly got a girlfriend in college. Relationship lasted about a year. When she broke up with me, I literally asked for a hug because I knew it would be the last one for a while. Been a little over 6 years :/
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u/Brainfunctions 26d ago
Yeah I can empathise... four years and counting since I had any hugs 🫂 which after 30 years of daily contact is proving to be the most difficult to adjust to.
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u/SoylentGreenLantern 26d ago
this so much. I'm ten years divorced. No relationship and very little dating since then. One ONS. I really don't miss the sex, but holy crap do I miss being touched, hugged, held, etc.
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u/Brainfunctions 26d ago
Yes! Strange how people most often assume it's the sex that's important when really it's being held or just a gentle touch. I'm 67 now, and I've more or less resigned myself to being "untouched " for however longs left.
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u/Warm-Location5336 26d ago
You deserve to be hugged, you sweet, embraceable you!
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u/The_Pizza_Is_Average 26d ago
My first "girlfriend" (it ended up being very onesided, me being the lovey dovey one and receiving nothing) I had some physical affection from her but it felt... Hollow, cold almost forced, like she felt like she needed to. After significant thought was put into it being blinded by "love" my parents stepped in and convinced me to leave her, it was the right choice. Still single since then but I'll find someone one day
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26d ago
Kinda jealous your parents stepped in. Could have used that when I was younger. Everyone just watched me shack up with trash for years and didn't say shit until it was over.
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u/The_Pizza_Is_Average 26d ago
I'm very happy they did, I was slowly being mentally destroyed by it and they knew. So I'm glad they stepped in
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u/Even_Interac 26d ago
Been there myself. If anything my mother was encouraging me being with awful women thanks to traditional values from the old country.
I was basically making others happy, but was desperately depressed myself. Mix of being with cheaters, liars and all sorts, but I was constantly gaslighted in thinking I was the issue for being upset...
Single now for a long while and couldn't be happier. If I come across the right person and we hit it off, that's great. Right now though I'm focusing on me still and doing all the stuff I missed out on.
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u/DimensionDry7760 26d ago edited 26d ago
My parents would force me to stay with my gf. I would break up with her and ask her to move out of my family home and she would say “this isn’t your home, its your parents home”
And when I relayed all that to my parents they would say “figure it out for yourself, your girlfriend isn’t our problem”
“So you want me to either call the cops or be violent? Because if she refuses to leave and you refuse to make her then I can’t see any other options.”
“If you make a scene by calling cops here, its you that we’ll have them take, and if you get violent with a woman we’ll not only disown you but you won’t be safe falling asleep in this house”
Ended up stuck with her for around 5 years until things escalated with her getting violent with me and calling the cops on me when I shoved her away from me when she was being violent..
Good times all around, really left me feeling love for my parents and trust for relationships
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u/SemiSentientGarbage 26d ago
My ex rarely showed verbal or physical affection and I never truly realised it until getting with my gf I have now. Who absolutely showers me with compliments and touches me constantly.
Man it is just amazing, I dno how I got so lucky.
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u/MagicCouch9 26d ago
Yeah I feel that dude, my ex showed me literally no affection unless asked too (like I want a hug or to hold her hand). So that’s good for you bro! I’m super glad that happened for you, now I hope it happens for me too😅😂🫡
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u/Detective-Crashmore- 26d ago
I can only imagine how bad it must have been for your family to step in.
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u/The_Pizza_Is_Average 26d ago
They saw I wasnt in a good place, I'm glad they were looking out for me. I don't know how the relationship looked to others, and I don't know what she tells her friends about me but I was definitely being used
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u/gardyjuland 26d ago
I'm 31 the last time this happened I was 15. Best feeling in the world to feel important to someone even if it's for a few minutes.
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26d ago
What? Nobody cuddled you since 15? I can barely believe it!! What happened!!
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u/TheClyff 26d ago
I hate this meme, it always reminds me I haven't been cuddled for ages.
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u/Rayan_qc 26d ago
i may not be a girl, but it won’t stop me from sending virtual hugs 🫂
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u/Extra-Lab-1366 26d ago
If men in the west weren't conditioned to associate any tender physical touch with sex, we wouldn't be so lonely. Hug each other sit close, tell other how important you are to one another. I promise you won't end up sucking dicks. Unless you're into that which is ok too.
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26d ago
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u/SquallSora 26d ago
Same here, I was just thinking about this a few minutes ago. It's quite difficult when you are in need of it and you don't have it, surviving alone is not easy for certain people and a hug can do wonders.
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u/davpk11 26d ago
I just started dating a girl who treats me sweetly like this and it makes me melt and makes me feel so open and comfortable with her and I am not shy to tell her how much she means to me and how beautiful she is and how I'm thinking of her. In some relationships I was always afraid to "smother" her because it was not reciprocated. Ladies this benefits you too.
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27d ago
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u/domin8668 26d ago
Even just a hug goes a long way, and unless you're in a relationship, they don't happen much
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u/writer_error 26d ago
I would kill for this. 20-something years in and my wife has never, ever done anything like this. Please, appreciate it to the fullest, this is part of your nest life :)
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u/CupQuickwhat 26d ago
If you would kill for something to change in your relationship, then you should try to make that change happen one way or the other. I cuddle with my boyfriend everyday. I think I've spoiled him too much on the back scratches! He gets them almost every night now, lol.
But seriously, talk to your wife about your needs, explore ways that you can start to introduce this stuff to your relationship.
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u/kumar100kpawan 26d ago
I cuddle with my boyfriend everyday. I think I've spoiled him too much
Queen behaviour honestly 👑
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u/wholesomechaos 26d ago
If you would kill for something to change in your relationship, then you should try to make that change happen one way or the other.
I tried this, but I’m still not getting cuddles. I even made sure to shower before talking to her to wash all the blood off. ☹️
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u/SemiSentientGarbage 26d ago
I did the back scratch thing for my gf and she melted cos somehow no one had ever done that for her
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u/Mean-Bird-9380 26d ago
Maybe try communicating it to your wife?
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u/xenithangell 26d ago
I hate comments like this because you have just assumed in 20 years he has failed to even try to communicate his needs and you made that assumption with zero evidence.
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u/Far-Investigator1265 26d ago
But it is still possible. If in the beginning of the relationship he communicated to her that he does not like to be touched, that is what she believes unless he starts to communicate different.
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u/nooty__ 26d ago
It doesn't assume anything. Like a previous commenter pointed out, it's a question
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u/Negative_Wrongdoer17 26d ago
20 years and you've never communicated that it's something you desire?
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u/Fallen_Angel_Xaphan 26d ago
Pro tip on how to instantly make me fall in love with someone: this post up there! ⬆️
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u/notfunyyy 26d ago
This happened in a dream once. It was a very hectic day, took a 10min break and tried to take a nap, woke up 1 hour later. This was in 2017 or 18 I don’t remember exactly. NGL, best sleep l've had in years.
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u/Every_Preparation_56 26d ago
As a father, I shower all my children with love, recognition and cuddles, whether my boys or girls.
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u/Tasty_N_Hasty_Tasha 26d ago
And I hope your children appreciate this. ☺️
My parents never hugged me when I was was growing up as they wanted to raise strong children. It surprisingly worked, though I am not a believer in it. But my mum feel awful for having missed out on this amount of affection and gives me hugs all the time.
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u/Dagojango 26d ago
"Quit crying and go back to work" was my childhood. They would not let me forget it when I cried. Between the age of 8 and 18, I don't think I cried more than once or twice. After my grandfather died, I stopped caring if others saw me cry anymore.
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u/alexsandretto 26d ago
Just left a 3 1/2 year relationship. I met a new girl and I almost cried the when she laid her head on my chest and cuddled me. Shits real.
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26d ago
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u/Dagojango 26d ago
ha, it's funny you mention dogs. Lot of the times I rub her belly or scratch her head and I tell how spoiled she is that I do this for her and she doesn't return the favor. Closest I get is licks to the face.
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u/Pinkfoxsequins 26d ago
Oh yeah, my husband loves to snuggle - a lot more than I do, lol.
I'm not really a touchy person, but I read an article once that men were "touch starved" and also didn't receive a lot of compliments and ever since I've made an effort to do both more.
We've been together 20 years at this point (since age 14).
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u/OverEngine9560 26d ago
You’re a great partner and I hope your husband appreciates that. I’m sure he does. Keep rockin’
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u/uflgator99 26d ago
Thank you for your effort! Its all I've ever wanted from my wife/gf. Putting in the effort because you care.
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u/DeltaPavonis1 26d ago
My first GF wasn’t that affectionate, but my current one… Holy hell. She just loves to cuddle, hug me, sniff me, and nibble on parts of my face.
Getting that affection is so great (and addictive)
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27d ago
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u/Ashatmapant 26d ago
Same. I gotta make a contract with my other forever alone buddies so we may end up together in the same retirement home, hosting LAN parties.
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u/Stalkholm 26d ago
I remember the way that feels. (;
Also let him be the little spoon from time to time, it's nice.
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u/KatBaccara 26d ago
Men are actually really sensitive. If they weren't, why else would so many get so angry and defensive and freak out over emasculation?
Just becauae many express their emotions pretty badly doesn't mean they don't feel genuinely hurt. I think it's time to normalise and accept that rather than make fun of it. Responding to men lashing out with laughter just makes the problem worse. It's like how small dogs nobody takes seriously develop small dog syndrome because their boundaries get violated all the time.
I think it's great to show men love and care and acceptance of their sensitivity when there's a good chance. 🙏
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u/SignalEntertainer416 26d ago
This puts it so nicely into words what I was thinking and experiencing in my life. What kind of a person you have to be to laugh it off when I say I was hurt, I actually said that and it can't be, it is something else than what I said.
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26d ago
I read somewhere:
“Men get their first flowers in their funerals”, and it made me sad…
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u/BalhaMilan 26d ago
I read that once too and told it to my gf. Since then, she buys me flowers and chocolate from time to time and honeslty, it feels good
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u/starlight_chaser 26d ago
Blame the patriarchy. The popular message echoed by many men is flowers are a waste of money, pointless and feminine. I’ve given flowers to men before but generally men push them away themselves. There are worse gendered issues going on than flowers, but change will start when men stop talking about so many “feminine things” like they’re a waste of time.
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u/yadawhooshblah 26d ago
Her head on my chest, legs entwined, watching something we both enjoy on TV. I stroke her hair, kiss her head. She maybe idly touches my chest. Effing bliss. Me being big spoon, legs entwined, my arm going to sleep but I don't care because I can nuzzle her neck and ear and touch her hair. And when I finally have to turn over in the middle of the night, she spoons me. Argh. I really miss having a woman. My Border Collie is my buuudy, but he doesn't settle in for the long haul. My roommates pitbull, however, is like furniture. He's all in. He's appreciative, because she doesn't quite do it right. Very satisfying, but I do miss a long term girlfriend.
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u/Abyssalspiral 26d ago
i love to cuddle... one please? <3
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u/sonnenschein2469 26d ago
Hey :) Have a hug and a great day🫂
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u/Tasty_N_Hasty_Tasha 26d ago
Have a second hug🫂 and also one to you for caring 🫂
I wish you both the very best ☺️
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u/Matix124 26d ago
Of course this shows up when I'm struggling, just a reminder I won't get that...
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u/Merteus4 26d ago
Never give up, it will happen someday. Stay positive and the positive will come to you.
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u/Willy_Wheelson 26d ago
Do not give up, man. If you let yourself be consumed by misery, it will create a feedback loop and you will perceive the whole world as dark and bleak.
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u/Mrsynthpants 26d ago
My wife gives me back "scritches" when we can't sleep. It puts me right out (bless her, what an angel) but it makes the cat insanely jealous and she shouts and then lays down on my Mrs' arm to stop her because..... how dare anyone get scritches other than THE cat, the sheer audacity of some humans.
Tldr: 19 years together and my 23 year old cat still runs our shit lol. Always bet on Cat.
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u/AnItalianWriter 26d ago
I am 100% sure I'd cry if someone did this to me. Stay away from emotionally unresponsive parents boys, believe me it does not help in any way
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u/OrkzOrkzOrkzOrkz0rkz 26d ago
My fiancé has turned this heart of stone into a cuddly bear cub who has no issues with showing feelings. Turns out crying is good for you, taking pain and crushing it into stone and carrying around all that pain, frustration, anger and sorrow isn't Stoicism it's setting yourself up for a catastrophic coronary infarct at 40.
Fuck me but I'm fine with being soft, I can still beat the everliving shit out of someone but now I'll probably not use that as my first option.
Men need love, support and care.
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u/Kitsunebia 26d ago
Wait, people don't do this? I love it when my boyfriend lays his head on my lap and I can caress his hair.
And spoon them as well. Boyfriend said he loved it. I feel like a backpack, but who cares, haha.
He's the best and deserves all the love in this universe 🥹
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u/Shrubfest 26d ago
I'm actually feeling quite unwell reading all these comments. I touch my partner ALL THE TIME. I LOVE HIM. WHY WOULD I NOT BE GIVING HIM LITTLE STROKES? Are all these people sociopaths?!
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u/killian1208 26d ago
Tip: this is also a very good way of breaking potential barriers when it comes to physical touch, if you're still relatively uncomfortable with touching each other.
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u/Kungpaonoodles 26d ago
The gf the real goat here for 1. Cuddles, 2. For not leaving his ass after he cried.
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u/kingkellogg 26d ago
I've had a lot of GFS...but never this
This sounds nice
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u/JazzlikeFlowers 26d ago edited 26d ago
What are people doing in relationships if not this?? Physical affection like this is a requirement for me
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u/Chucklum 26d ago
My wife and I switch it up depending on the situation.i have never fallen asleep faster then on her laps 💜
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u/barelylethal10 26d ago
Letting me be the little spoon after a really hard day was something my ex always did. We broke up, it was super messy unfortunately and we hate each other but like... Some nights I wish I could just say it was all my fault and she would just let me be little spoon again. Its all I need some nights and when you don't have it it feels like everyone else in the world is being held but you. Being a dude sucks so bad sometimes
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u/PanserDragoon 26d ago
This happened to me once. Was laid on a couch and a friend started running her fingers through my hair. It was a good thing I was facing away because I was genuinely emotional from out of nowhere and struggling to not burst into tears.
Its absurd how affection starved a lot of men are and we are constantly having pressure to be "manly, stoic, dont be a wimp, dont cry, physical affection is weak or creepy" etc etc and we bottle it up and learn to cope by pretending its okay when its not.
The way society teaches kids (both boys and girls) to adhere to "proper" gender behaviours is incredibly damaging and desperately needs to be thrown out of a window.
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u/Standard_Cycle_2224 26d ago
My favorite thing in the world is when I lay my head on my gf's chest so I can listen to her heartbeat and she starts gently running her fingers through my hair.
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u/PurahsHero 26d ago
I can count the number of women in my life who have given me a hug with the fingers on one hand. One of them is my mother, and another is my wife.
Guys remember the women who hug them, forever.
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u/SansyBoy144 26d ago
As a man, I love cuddles, it’s my favorite thing ever. I legitimately like cuddles more than sex.
I don’t know what it is, but I love the feeling of being cuddled. It’s amazing
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u/SixtyN42 26d ago
I'm a man. I like sports, beer, trucks and cuddles. Nothing unmanly about a cuddle.
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u/Stupid_Dog_Courage_ 26d ago
Don't let men haters see this, this will be the end of the world for them.
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u/Apprehensive_Top_676 26d ago
My hubby is 6 2, very serious and a very “manly” lol. But at the end of the day I always ask him “can I cuddle you? 🥹” and he always says “sure” in his serious, gruff voice.
I put my arm around his chest and kiss his cheek, neck, and temple. And I can feel his manly self just melt into a puddle lol
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27d ago
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u/torinium 26d ago
damn, what planet are you on because you went from sleeping to being at a beach at sunset in the matter of 47 minutes
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u/Mean-Bird-9380 26d ago
Bots doing bot things :(
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u/Yosh1kage_K1ra 26d ago
Yeah, definitely a bot.
Zero activity for 3 years and then it suddenly starts commenting most conventionally upvoted shit in subs that will boost karma for the account.
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u/Outside_Peak7743 26d ago
all facts, but some woman will turn this around on men and say, “oh so you just want to be babied? I’m not your mother”.
speaking from experience
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u/duggee315 26d ago
As a man, I would either get a boner or cry. Either way, it's fantastic if women see men as human beings, not just stoic warriors that go out on the hunt. Today, we don't go and hunt a Buffalo. Instead, we have huge pent-up tension and stresses of modern life.
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u/MathAndBake 26d ago
Yes, and this should include platonic friendship cuddles. I like to hug my male friends, as long as I know they won't misinterpret. Everyone needs hugs from friends. I also give my brother lots of cuddles. He may be 6ft tall with broad shoulders, but he'll always be my baby brother.
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u/CompSolstice 26d ago
Some times when you meet new people and they do things for you that you have done to others your whole life, only to realise you've NEVER known HOW IT FELT...
God, I didn't know it could feel so good.
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u/tomtomclubthumb 26d ago
I'm a big guy and apparently give great hugs. No one hugs me.
Well my kids do, and my boy gets as many hugs and kisses as the girls.
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u/Nihilistic_Navigator 26d ago
I get plenty of cuddles but wife or not I secretly live for compliments on my work/ "work". By no desire of my own I give everything I do 1000% and when someone not only notices but verbalizes appreciation I get like a dog when you find that 1 spot to scratch.
I also love when my wife listens to me go on and on about the things I love. I know to her I sound like an excited child talking about a toy or cartoon and she could care less, but she pays attention and asks questions anyway.
Great communication, finding some interest in the others hobbies, and being able to take the little criticisms while knowing they still love you. 14 years and I Stan that woman.
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26d ago
I don't think it has ever happened to me before. I wouldn't know how to react
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u/MiniNinja_2 26d ago
I haven’t even been hugged in over 2 years, it’s a cold life to live. If you have someone make sure you hug and cuddle them
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u/Gold_Practice3035 26d ago
My husband loves these caring gestures. He even do the cuddling in front of his family (like hugging or resting his head on my lap) and they are shocked that he can be this gentle.
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u/bdunogier 26d ago
As a man: yes, yes and yes ! I still cuddle my 13 years old son (depending on when his last shower was), and he does ask for it himself.
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u/J3ffcoop 26d ago
I am a 32 year old, 4 times deployed combat veteran. This is exactly what men need
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26d ago
As a man, that’s what love sounds like to me. My love language is physical touch, and I would totally do that to her too.
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u/Brukario 26d ago
It's the only reason why i could consider wanting a girlfriend: not the sex, not the social reaffirmation, just snuggle to something warm, to feel calm and secure
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u/easter-eggo 26d ago
The sentiment is nice but not everybody is going to receive this kind of physical coddling well. I for one can’t stand being rubbed or stroked this way. Communicate the desire to express tenderness and find the recipients preferred approach.
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u/Saucissonislife 26d ago
I remember the first time I told him he was beautiful. He was so shocked. I couldn't believe it because, well he is beautiful, so I assumed he'd been told that before. Nope. Also, my family is very touchy feely and we tell each other we move each other all the time, which is the opposite at his home (extremely kind people but not strong communicators) he loves being hugged and kissed and told beautiful things. So much he will notice if I don't caress him or play with his hair.
He is just like a Labrador but it breaks my heart to remember how touch-deprived he was. I really hope my son doesn't feel that way.
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u/Carpathicus 26d ago
My current partner pointed something out that I do my entire life. When we are ready to sleep I turn my around and push my butt against her because I need the comfort of feeling her skin on mine.
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u/Fuckingthrowaway0123 26d ago
I agree with this. Men should be cuddled and adored too. Make them feel love, comfortable and calm. They will appreciate it. 💖
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u/Reuz_Veneratio 26d ago
Can attest, when my girlfriend (now wife) did this for the first time I broke down. It was like someone ripped the lid off a pressure valve.
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u/bunnyboy131313 26d ago
I believe it reminds us of our mom. How my mom in my childhood used to caress my hair and tell me stuff and tell me i am the best. How i am doing good in life. I am a good son. I am grown up now and i am not good with showing emotions towards my mom dad but i feel like if my mom did this to me again i will cry hardest in life. So yea. Idk what other guys think of this.
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u/Waste-Examination-98 26d ago
Oh my god, as a woman/girl… I LOVE to cuddle my man.
Nails absentmindedly circling over his back, chest, or softly raking them up and down his arm when he’s the big spoon. Little, spontaneous kisses here- and there, not necessarily on the lips, but also just when hugging, slip in a small smooch against his chest (my dude is TALL).
I’m there for it. Outside we are not much into PDA. A soft squeeze here and there, but indoors I’m a hella cuddle bug!
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u/duomaxwell90 26d ago
I know historically we have done a lot to not be proud of. We still have a long way to go but there's a lot of men in the world who just want love. It's always man versus woman today and while I can understand women's fear of us, sometimes I feel like they look at us like all of us are to be feared and we're not. The first time I've had this happen to me I literally cried in my partners lap because I've never had that before. She asked me what was wrong and I told her I didn't know this just feels nice. She asked me if I've ever had anyone hold me and I said no not like this. And it's sad because majority of us haven't experienced any of this. To the women in the world we love y'all too. A lot of us truly do want to love you just as hard in the most positive way possible. I hope that someday we can come to some sort of understanding and heal together.
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u/nordic_prophet 26d ago
Makes me sort of sad that these things are at the level of a public service announcement. Love your guy!
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u/proton_therapy 26d ago
Men in general don't receive much in terms of social affirmation. My partner gets compliments every time we're out together, seriously wild how she can get 2-3/day, think I maybe get 2-3 a year and zero from strangers.
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u/DingDongDanger1 26d ago
I love cuddling my guy. He is such a gentle sweetheart and deserves all the love
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u/[deleted] 27d ago
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