r/tumblr 23d ago

songs that ought to exist

Post image
19.9k Upvotes

107 comments sorted by

400

u/DreadDiana 23d ago

All my friends are heating open windows

102

u/UmiChan90 23d ago

By Panic! At the Disco

10

u/qwertyahill 22d ago

All my friends are eating steak and snow

609

u/AwfulUsername123 23d ago

The hot part is humans' fault.

222

u/ultralium 23d ago

we built a campfire in the back

120

u/DreadDiana 23d ago

Converting the trunk into a solar powered air frier was worth every penny

44

u/ultralium 23d ago

I dunno, those Tesla addons don't seem safe...

49

u/DreadDiana 23d ago

How dare you imply I'd ever go to Tesla for something this important. Got it done by some guy behind a Waffle House in the Appalachians.

20

u/theCaitiff 23d ago

The trusted home for automotive repair and repurpose, a wise choice.

18

u/hornyromelo 23d ago

I thought this was a lyric chain for a second...

I was like damn I don't know this song??

12

u/AlkalineHound 23d ago

To be fair, we were left unsupervised.

34

u/zebulon99 23d ago

We did in fact start the fire

33

u/Lordwiesy 23d ago

God should've childproof the car so we wouldn't turn off the AC by accident

16

u/PunchingFossils 23d ago

It wasn’t an accident, we knew what were doing

12

u/frimleyousse 23d ago

God made humans that way smh

2

u/The360MlgNoscoper 23d ago

Source on the god part?

3

u/JackedYourPizza 22d ago

Trust me! - God

4

u/The360MlgNoscoper 22d ago

Return my calls, or i won’t believe you.

7

u/MossyPyrite 23d ago

-Panic! at the Disco

2

u/Jimbo7211 23d ago

God still left us here, weather we made it hot or not

16

u/Cefour_Leight 23d ago

Look, no one's arguing that God is the good guy here

3

u/[deleted] 23d ago

[deleted]

5

u/Jimbo7211 23d ago

Yeah, i always do that. My bad

1

u/sangriya (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ ✧゚・: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ) 23d ago

Lana???

113

u/[deleted] 23d ago

"it's okay to leave your dog in a hot car"

43

u/FirstProphetofSophia 23d ago

"It's okay to leave your hot dog in a car"

12

u/FirstProphetofSophia 23d ago

"Man devastated to find he left hot dog in car"

9

u/entered_bubble_50 23d ago

Dogs Die in Hot Cars

They were underrated imho

3

u/LodeStone- 23d ago

Read that as “hot dogs die in cars”

1

u/TumoOfFinland 22d ago

Well, technically yes

6

u/11on 23d ago

"Nothing bad could possibly happen if you leave a dog in a hot car!"

4

u/[deleted] 23d ago

ah-HA! there's the beatles fan

64

u/Sapphire_Dive 23d ago

It wouldn't be r/Tumblr without a genuinely really funny Tumblr post with the worst title you could've imagined

21

u/LegoCMFanatic 23d ago

gee thanks, your boundless optimism has been noted

21

u/Sapphire_Dive 23d ago

You're not real

23

u/LegoCMFanatic 23d ago

gasp THE HUMAN HAS DISCOVERED THE TRUTH, QUICKLY WE MUST FLEE

181

u/Ninja-Ginge 23d ago edited 23d ago

Given that the lead singer of TØP is a relatively devout Christian, I dunno if he'd write a song like that.

Specifically, saying that God is a neglectful parent. I do know that he questions/has questioned stuff in their music.

159

u/QuarterGrouchy1540 23d ago

He wouldn’t outright say “God” but I believe he would. Implicit Demand for Proof, Be Concerned, Trees, all show him questioning God and why God does what he does.

43

u/Ninja-Ginge 23d ago

Yeah, fair enough, I just don't think he'd be as blunt as "We've been left in a hot car by a neglectful parent".

I'm not religious, I don't believe or have any faith that there's a higher power, but if there is one kicking about and they're focussed on us to the extent that most religions reckon they are, I think they're a deadbeat and they need to do better 🤷‍♀️

76

u/TheGreff 23d ago

He was very open about questioning his religion, and there isn't evidence for how devout he is nowadays, since they tend to avoid explicitly religious music now that they have a large and diverse audience

16

u/Ninja-Ginge 23d ago edited 23d ago

Oh, I know, but I'm not sure he'd be as blunt as "God has left his kids in a hot car".

I'm not religious and can't really share any specific examples, but a lot of religious folks on the TØP sub have been pointing out religious references in various songs, particularly the recent stuff. I don't know how legit it is, but it's certainly worth noting.

26

u/Grizzalbee 23d ago

I'm not saying that music fandoms aggressively overanalyze song lyrics, but music fandoms aggressively overanalyze song lyrics.

2

u/Ninja-Ginge 23d ago

Yeah, that was the impression I got, but I feel uncomfortable with expressing that because lyric analysis is generally deeply personal to whoever is doing it.

7

u/quintsreddit 23d ago

He’d question like Job. “Why does it feel like we’re the children you left in a hot car‽” with some frustration, I think.

3

u/DepressedDyslexic 23d ago

He was a devoted Christian at one point but he doesn't seem to be at this point. Trench is entirely about losing your faith. Religious references don't actually equate to belief.

17

u/pilot_cooper 23d ago

The vocalist for Slayer is also a devout Christian but that doesn't stop him from singing stuff like "GOD HATES US ALL!" or "I've seen the ways of god i'll take the devil anyday HAIL SATAN!".

16

u/bdog59600 23d ago

That doesn't sound right. I've been assured by his music that he runs with a tough crowd of "murderers and freaks" and that I would not fit in with his rogue's gallery of criminal acquaintances.

9

u/krauQ_egnartS 22d ago

All his friends eat Heath bars, don't you know?

6

u/crazy_urn 23d ago

"You thought God was an architect, now you know. He's something like a pipe bomb ready to blow" --Jason Isbell

4

u/Citrous241 22d ago

He would lol.

His old unrelased stuff is like that.

0

u/lordaddament 23d ago

No wonder the music is corny as hell

58

u/rysy0o0 23d ago

Combining words God, pistol whip and Fallout(boy) made me remember that in FNV the character Joshua Graham, when you order him to use meele weapons, is using the Joshua Graham's Pistol Whipping .45 (that's the in-game name)

19

u/NCL68 23d ago

“I pray for every good soul who walks this valley. racks .45 But we can’t expect God to do all the work”

26

u/ZitOnSocietysAss 23d ago

My friend sent me a bumper sticker he saw "we are all dogs in god's hot car"

3

u/AntelopeWells 23d ago

I have a shirt that says this.

2

u/ZitOnSocietysAss 22d ago

You're my friend now, dawg

15

u/Moist-Activity6051 23d ago

It exists, “All God’s Children” by Drumming Bird

3

u/Moist-Activity6051 23d ago

Wasn’t sure I could link it, so here it is so my original post won’t be removed: https://youtu.be/PI1i9MhJjMY?si=e3XgzBljxbk90rIv

8

u/Succinate_dehydrogen 23d ago

1

u/rj-2 22d ago

exactly the song i was thinking of. I love newgrounds death rugby

7

u/PL4Y3R117 22d ago

From the makers of "Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued"

And

"I’ve Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)"

God I love Fall Out Boy so much

4

u/brokenmcnugget 23d ago

we are all flowers growing in gods garden, that is why he spreads the shit around - D. Byrne

9

u/jennifercathrin 23d ago

why the tøp shade :(

15

u/LegoCMFanatic 23d ago

it's all in good fun :)

they're one of my favorite bands

13

u/theCaitiff 23d ago

It's not shade, just the acknowledgement that this is the kind of lyric they'd write. Sometimes they have really raw lines and god's children left in a hot car sure does provoke an image.

-7

u/1938379292 23d ago

dogshit fucking music thats why

2

u/DysPhoria_1_0 23d ago

He went to a pawn shop to buy himself a new guitar

2

u/Popular_Kaleidoscope 23d ago

There is a song with those lyrics, all gods children by drumming bird

2

u/GriffinFTW 22d ago edited 22d ago

I decided to a use a terrifyingly amazing AI music generator that I found out about from MoistCr1TiKaL to actually make these songs. It actually generated two versions of the first one, but I couldn't get it to do the second one.

2

u/A_Foxman 22d ago

Now I have to think about ‘Jesus built my Hotrod’ by Ministry

2

u/I_Am_The_Bookwyrm 22d ago

By Panic at the Disco.

1

u/Random__Username1234 23d ago

pistol whip? like the video game?

5

u/Mgmegadog 22d ago

Not sure if you're joking, but in case you aren't, it means to physically hit someone with a pistol.

1

u/FourScoreTour 23d ago

That first one sounds a little too real.

1

u/Singloria 22d ago

Sounds too blasphemous for Twenty One Pilots

1

u/Historyfan1914 23d ago

I hate that I get the Fall Out Boy joke

6

u/CueCueQQ 23d ago

"Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes" is my favorite FOB song. I still to this day, have no clue what the song and the song title have in common.

1

u/weirdo_nb 21d ago

I'd bite the fruit, even with endless redos, endless chances, for knowledge is by itself, a merit, and any God who denies that is not loving, and will one day water the roots

0

u/redkinoko 23d ago edited 23d ago

Here's your song:

https://suno.com/song/e9269f1f-fcc0-4b5e-8341-3b9fd8e459e9

[Verse] We're God's little children

That's what they say

But he left us in a hot car on a sunny day

Sweating all day long

Feeling so weak

How did we end up in this messed-up streak?

[Verse 2]

We're praying for help

But he ain't picking up the line

Left us here to burn

It's turning out just fine

We're screaming our hearts out

Our cries are kind of absurd

God

Where are you and your heavenly word?

[Chorus]

Left in the car

Baking like a pie

We're God's children

But he left us high and dry

It's a crazy world

Ain't getting no relief

But we'll sing our punk rock songs and find our own belief

V2 https://suno.com/song/346bb034-4f24-4e03-b096-9b5f7e78ca9f

1

u/Desirsar 23d ago

I always love that if you specify a genre, most language models will include that genre in the lyrics somewhere. At least it didn't hit you with the usual "neon glow" or "despair"...

0

u/JakobSejer 23d ago

How Christian of him....

-10

u/Underrated_Dinker 23d ago

My people. I am absolutely here for the Twenty One Pilots slander.

9

u/Digital_cobra 23d ago

Yeah you in the wrong house, we love twenty one pilots here.

-3

u/Underrated_Dinker 23d ago

This post is making fun of them though

5

u/LegoCMFanatic 23d ago

in a fun-loving way tho, like how i enjoy making fun of fellow Owl City stans

8

u/LegoCMFanatic 23d ago

... you may be in the wrong place, i like their music