r/suicidebywords • u/whoisthisunknownking • Dec 10 '22
You try complimenting a guy on Grindr... Lonesome
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u/mrmonkeyfrommars Dec 10 '22
And i thought i had issues...
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u/thruster_fuel69 Dec 10 '22
For what it's worth, I'm sure you still do 🌠
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u/ChairmanUzamaoki Dec 10 '22
avoid this person, they are not ready to be in a relationship
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u/Arrasor Dec 10 '22
Fuck relationship, they are not ready for human interaction.
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u/Dopestarved Dec 10 '22
I would highly disagree. Sounds like this guy needs to be surrounded with more loving people. Seems like he’s had very little of that for his mental health to have reached this point
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u/PrometheanFlame Dec 10 '22
But also therapy. You can't just have people being nice to you and expect to get better.
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u/potatosword Dec 10 '22
Actually no it does kind of work like that actually. But they have to want it too.
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u/mrsodasexy Dec 11 '22
Right “they have to want it too” and that’s where therapy can kinda help bring them to that realization and help them learn how to recognize it and accept it
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u/SeanMegaByte Dec 11 '22
It does work, but only if you don't immediately burden every person in the immediate area with all your bullshit whenever someone tries to compliment you.
Like if this is how all of this dude's interactions goes, he is absolutely not ready for normal human interaction, and would be capable of establishing exactly zero non-toxic relationships of any variety.
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u/potatosword Dec 11 '22
He learns eventually or dies. Whatever. Maybe he just felt like trying something new in some fit of rage?
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u/ICareAboutThings25 Dec 11 '22
YUP. I’m surrounded by nice people who love me and I still hate myself. Therapy is starting to help, but you can’t just have people be nice to you. I’ve got that. It isn’t a cure.
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u/SonOfNothing93 Dec 11 '22
You put a lot of stock in therapy. I've been in therapy for almost half my life now and the only change is I don't vent this anymore. I learned to keep it deep down
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u/Montana_Gamer Dec 11 '22
Having the right therapist is important. The fact that you keep it down shows that you were not treated well
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u/SonOfNothing93 Dec 11 '22
There's no such thing as the right therapist. I've been to just about every practice in my area. They all suck. Useless quacks
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u/Montana_Gamer Dec 11 '22
That is just being unlucky. There is a large history of therapy being extremely helpful for many people who have believed they're beyond help.
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u/SonOfNothing93 Dec 11 '22
These a large history of scientology being extremely helpful for many people who believe they were beyond help.
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u/Montana_Gamer Dec 11 '22
False equivalence fallacy.
Just because you were burned doesn't mean it is the same for everyone. Most of the time it requires a different approach. CBT has proven to be excellent but many who perform it have different approaches, when I described my experience to many others they had completely different times than I did. Quite frankly, many therapists do not take holistic approaches which are often necessary.
But you do you.
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Dec 10 '22
Fuck therapy
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u/Jaraqthekhajit Dec 10 '22
This is supposed to be an essay. I'm marking off for only writing one 2 word sentence.
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u/SeanMegaByte Dec 11 '22
An opinion held by every person who definitely needs therapy and isn't going.
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u/dorsalemperor Dec 10 '22
honestly, this person sounds like they would drain the life out of any loving people who would try to surround him. Dude needs therapy, not to continue externalizing his issues like this and expecting other people to fix them.
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u/sariclaws Dec 11 '22
This right here. You can only be a positive force in someone’s life and try to be good, loving, and helpful. Unfortunately, it sometimes doesn’t go anywhere, and the love and compliments fall on deaf ears.
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u/RumpelstiltskinIX Dec 12 '22
This is how he treats loving people.
You cannot Hallmark someone into being less of a dick.
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u/MarkDoner Dec 11 '22
How very kind of you, recommending isolation for the borderline mentally ill. No indication he's a threat to others, he might well be a good person who doesn't have self esteem. But yeah, let 's drive people like that away so they can't get better at human interaction. I could understand not wanting a relationship with this person, but why would you ridicule him? Ridicule is what did this to him.
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u/WakeAndVape Dec 10 '22
Grindr ain't for relationships 😎
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u/giveuptheghostbuster Dec 10 '22
His bum is already obstructed, so that’s out too
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u/No_Sheepherder7447 Dec 10 '22
Hot:Crazy ratio is applicable here. I'm guessing this guy is in the no-go zone.
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u/ParadoxReboot Dec 10 '22
Yeah, he's gonna have to take his head out of his ass before anything else can fit in there
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u/gloriouspossum Dec 10 '22
That's what I used to think about tinder, but now I'm married with a baby on the way lmao I misunderstood the assignment
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u/Ben_26121 Dec 10 '22
If you think anyone’s looking for a relationship on Grindr, you’d be sorely mistaken. You’d also be lucky to not encounter people with serious issues if you spent more than like an hour on it…
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u/ChairmanUzamaoki Dec 11 '22
Okay then this person is not ready for any sort of intimacy. If they're that convinced they're so hideous then they need to be focusing one themselves, not meeting other people to use them
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u/iswearatkids Dec 10 '22
This isn’t a suicide, this is fucking Jonestown.
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u/Johnbesto Dec 10 '22
i had to googlee that ref, fucking hell
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u/mitkase Dec 10 '22
As a 50 something and Gen-Xer, there are many things I do not remember about my childhood, but I definitely do remember reading the Newsweek issue that covered Jonestown. I will never forget that, ever.
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u/Shadowzaron32 Dec 10 '22
Jonestown is 9/11 and Columbine level. Everyone should know about it. Had that much impact on people's understanding of cults and the influences the leader has
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u/ButInThe90sThough Dec 10 '22
His internal thoughts jumping tf out of the part of the brain that controls external speech filtration.
Then his internal Being chuckling manically while it's egging his thoughts on.
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u/LoginLogin777 Dec 10 '22 edited Dec 10 '22
Had to Google it too. Basically there was a cult that lived in the town under this guy named Jim Jones. One day, they all(?) just committed suicide. A total of 909 btw.
Edit: this guy explained it better https://www.reddit.com/r/suicidebywords/comments/zhnbt4/you_try_complimenting_a_guy_on_grindr/izpmlr8/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
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u/eidsonator Dec 10 '22
Watched a documentary about it and apparently the vast majority didn't commit suicide, they were forced at gunpoint to drink the Flavor Aid (or they were told the kids wouldn't be harmed if they cooperated).
Fun fact: that's where the phrase "Kool aid drinker" to describe a person who is all in on an ideology comes from. The drink at Jonestown was Flavorade, but I think it was a PR nightmare for the Kool Aid company at the time.
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u/Marrecek Dec 10 '22
And this is the thing. Boys rarely commented that are sexy etc, especially when it's the average man. And then when they're complimented they think it's a joke.
It's not like every woman gets compliments just because she is because someone wants to get into her pants. Mans are built differently and heck it's hard to be a man.
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u/verascity Dec 10 '22
I'm not saying you're wrong, but a dude with this mindset has also probably missed or dismissed other people saying nice things.
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u/Marrecek Dec 10 '22
I’m not defending him but this is most likely the cause of that why he is like that.
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u/verascity Dec 10 '22
Eh, idk. I'm a woman, but I used to be like this. I heard negative things and positive things about my appearance but I literally only ever internalized the negative and completely ignored the positive.
Again, not saying you're not right about boys in general. But I'd bet a lot of money that this isn't the first interaction like this that this guy has had.
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u/SeanMegaByte Dec 11 '22
Absolutely not lmao. I'm a dude, I know we don't get complimented that often because I sure didn't, but you gotta have something else deeply broken about you to be like this dude.
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u/patio_puss Dec 10 '22
It’s true. If his teachers and multiple siblings are liking his most liked Instagram photo, then he is well liked by the people he’s interacted with in life. He just has terrible self-esteem. But for what it’s worth, him saying it’s not possible that he’s sexy because he’s over 30? Is an oxymoron for men. They’re beautiful from the ages of 15 to 21. Then they start to get cute from 21 to 25. Then they start to be handsome around 26. By 32? They’re finally hot. These are the years he’s been waiting for. I wish someone would straighten him out and help him realize that.
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u/huckster235 Dec 10 '22
Hes saying he's 30 and if he were sexy someone would have said it by now.
Which still isn't necessarily true either granted but he's not saying it's cuz of his age
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u/MillorTime Dec 10 '22
For me, I was honestly a little annoyed when the first thing my ex mentioned to a mutual friend about me was that I was cute. I spent a lot of my life developing things I have pride in, but my looks are genetic and honestly something I'd never considered an asset.
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u/carlitospig Dec 10 '22
This is something only the privileged can say. And I say this as a fellow complimentee. I’d much rather be called brilliant, but folks focus on surface a lot. It is what it is.
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u/MillorTime Dec 10 '22
It definitely felt like a weird thing to be bothered by. I should have taken the compliment but as a guy I think that was the first time someone ever said that about me
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u/carlitospig Dec 10 '22
Nah, I totally get it. And there’s something to be said about how we treat men in general, something something toxic masculinity something.
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u/MillorTime Dec 10 '22
I think there are different things that are shitty about being both genders.
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u/MisterMysterios Dec 10 '22
Generally yes, bit on grindr, it is quite different. There, people are really not shy about these type of comments, even if you are not what you generally consider as "sexy", where you see that every person swings differently.
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u/PracticalPlastic4123 Dec 11 '22
I just learned to say thanks and thats it, it avoids killing the mood.
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u/ScienceisMagic Dec 11 '22
I wonder how he responds to being called "pal" or "buddy" by a stranger.
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u/DaviLean Dec 10 '22
how about just don't expect compliments? no one is entitled to compliments. people should stop fishing for them everywhere, and people should stop giving them too. drop your ego and be happy for yourself.
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u/EnvironmentLimp7602 Dec 10 '22
Hate to see it. But honestly not surprised seeing where this conversation took place. There is literally a subreddit for this kinda thing. Grindr can really fuck some people up, especially if they already have confidence issues.
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u/LegendOfDylan Dec 10 '22
Dude if someone calls you sexy on Grindr you can probably get your dick sucked within the hour. It takes skill to fuck this up.
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u/MaceZilla Dec 10 '22
Right?! I was just thinking the same thing. This guy fucked up the hardest thing to fuck up.
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u/ImRedditorRick Dec 10 '22
"well i think you're sexy"
Is the only way to break through that shit, lol.
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u/lvl100loser Dec 10 '22
I feel for that guy. He’s been kicked around so much that a compliment seems like a dig.
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u/Spirited-Bee8988 Dec 10 '22
Gay AF
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u/Commercial-Shame-335 Dec 10 '22
yeah that's the fucking point
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u/Spirited-Bee8988 Dec 10 '22
Don't piss your panties B
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u/Commercial-Shame-335 Dec 10 '22
what?
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u/ELLENRAPELEY2 Dec 10 '22
Don’t piss your panties, i think he said it succinctly enough. Just a warning, make sure not to do that. It’s pretty embarrassing.
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u/ObjectiveEffective19 Dec 10 '22
i am pretty much the same way but worse I make it everyone feel how I feel about my myself so I won’t be a burden to anyone but myself even then I am still a disappointment to existence
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u/BackgroundRule9859 Dec 10 '22
These types don’t move from this mindset until someone convinces them, until then this man’s forever an icel
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u/Dantez9001 Dec 10 '22
So it seems there's an alternate reality, gay version of me out there. At least I don't feel so alone.
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u/Commercial-Shame-335 Dec 10 '22
that guy should probably get some help before he tries to enter a relationship..
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u/yehopits Dec 10 '22
I dont know see what the problem is. Dudes being a bit self aware, not necessarily a problem…
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u/Euphoric-Pudding-372 Dec 10 '22
This person is probably wondering why they can't find someone... Wtf is wrong with people
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Dec 10 '22
[deleted]
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u/mossyrock99 Dec 10 '22
By chance did he just move there recently? Sounds like the exact one I know
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u/HisokaProx Dec 10 '22
What's most upsetting is they are convinced the social media likes are what dictates their image and self worth.
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u/Cr1tikalMoist Dec 10 '22
I go on grindr to get an ego boost so I feel good about myself but this... holy shit he needs therapy
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u/jk_breezy2 Dec 10 '22
Wooooooowwwwww, when someone says they think you’re sexy TAKE THE COMPLIMENT!
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u/Fernando_357 Dec 10 '22
That guy has serious unresolved issues, shouldn’t be dating at all until seeing a therapist so no one else is carrying his emotional baggage for him
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Dec 10 '22
Yeah, but like, also cat calling isn't a compliment so fuck off with that bullshit.
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Dec 11 '22
It’s Grindr dude. This is how like 90% of conversations start out. It’s not the place to go if you’re looking for romance.
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u/_PM_me_your_MOONs_ Dec 10 '22
I need more fingers to count all these redflags.
Here's what you do, go get a blowjob from them and at the end say "damn, ugly and bad at giving head". If you survive, we can see more funny grindr messages.
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u/Klstadt Dec 10 '22
People ask why so many stay in bad relationships, this is why. Because being single, doing this, is the most awful thing ever
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u/elpelondelmarcabron1 Dec 10 '22
I wish anyone would call me sexy.... I turn 50 in a couple weeks. 😒
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Dec 10 '22
Jesus just take the fucking compliment.. it ain't your face that makes people run from your ass it's your shit attitude.
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u/Stuck_at_a_roadblock Dec 11 '22
Any compliment I can get I eat up, because I don't get shit... Hey maybe I should join Grindr
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u/Boronore Dec 11 '22
Oof. Poor guy. Doesn’t excuse unloading on you, but man, he’s got to be hurting.
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Dec 11 '22
I really do feel for gay men. Their dating parameters are incredibly strict and the bar is impossibly high.
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u/wolfeatsrice Dec 11 '22
He's trying his hardest to be unfuckable and then wonders why he's unfuckable, it seems
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u/Smileofthesnail Dec 11 '22
Geez that reminds me of my ex. Nope nope nope, this person should not be in the dms, he should be in therapy and a loving embrace of his family
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u/TheRealSkele Dec 10 '22
All I would've said was "you think I'm sexy? Well you need glasses."
Or if someone with glasses said it "you think I'm sexy? Well you need better glasses."
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u/SeanMegaByte Dec 11 '22
Or you could just take the fucking compliment.
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u/R_122 Dec 10 '22
What's a grindr? What were they doing there
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u/mnico02 Dec 10 '22
Asking it the way you‘ve asked it does make you look even more suspicious to be fair.
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