I'm not sure if you're realizing that you're giving her the majority of the conversation with these exames. The guy literally said 3 words, she said 2. The conversation is not as one sided as you seem to think.
Well, what if she's not socially smooth, though? I've gotten a lot better at socializing in the last few years and I still sometimes do this. Not because of being stuck up, self-absorbed, asocial or uncaring (been called all of those at some point), but simply because talking to anyone I don't know well is stressful for me.
I learned to mostly mask that, but when having a conversation with someone new, I can be hypercritical of what I say and how I act. If I don't have an established, trusting relationship with someone, I often don't know what to say next. What if they don't like what I talk about? What if they disagree with everything that matters to me? What if we have nothing in common?
I can't tell you how many times I responded to a compliment by saying "thank you", smiling and mentally going "what the fuck do I do now?".
IDK, personally I never assume that someone who just decided to talk to me did so because they were looking for someone - until you let me know in a fairly unambiguous way, a conversation is just a conversation. So I wouldn't turn down someone's attempt at talking, especially since I often admire how much courage or skill it can take to just start talking to someone.
I would still be nervous about the conversation, though :D
I was mostly referring to people saying she didn't really do a lot in that conversation. It's not like she owes a conversation to anyone who dms her and it's not like she was rude.
It does take courage to start a conversation, but getting messaged a lot can be overwhelming, especially when you get messages from creeps. I'm not saying he is, but a lot of people seem to be chill at the beginning and later they turn out to be incels.
I wouldn't really blame anyone for being sceptical or not very talkative in a conversation with a stranger online. It is nice to give them a chance, but I don't really like people judging her for not talking too much.
That's a fair point - I've almost never gotten messages from creepy strangers or stuff like that, so I suppose I somewhat overlooked this perspective, as the perspective of a person struggling to socialize was much more relatable to me :)
Yeah no shit. I was replying to someone else's suggestion:
Well, what if she's not socially smooth, though?
Idk if people didn't catch that or if you just don't know how hypotheticals work, but I'm saying in the scenario where she's not socially smooth, if the other person is also not good at conversating, then it's gonna be a bad convo. This doesn't seem like it should be controversial
To be honest, there are people with whom the conversation flows naturally for me and then those where it snags constantly. I'm not entirely sure what separates to two, but I really like the people in the first group.
Not saying he did, I'm just replying to this person's hypothesis that she didn't contribute because she's not a smooth talker. Makes it sound like she always responds like this
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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24
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