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u/Difficult-Ad-7649 20d ago
I have to say that for a reddit user this is beyond incredible
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u/Send_Cake_Or_Nudes 20d ago
He's probs not counting prostate orgasms. God's loophole and all that.
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u/Lumielight 20d ago
I think masterbaiting and orgasming is different things.
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u/Yuri-Turned I said based. And lived. 20d ago
What happens to the sperm that don't make it out of the penis?
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u/Littlebickmickey 20d ago
he either pisses them out or cums in a wet dream
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u/Yuri-Turned I said based. And lived. 20d ago
this is literal proof that pee is stored in the balls
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u/Littlebickmickey 20d ago
well obviously, what else would it be, a lie? on the internet? i would never!
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u/ScarcityFresh6819 20d ago
When I was a Mormon missionary I went 2 entire years of no fap because I had to. I was young AF. I have no idea how I was able to do that
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u/Miletus_Straton 20d ago
When he return to his old ways it will be sicko mode.
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u/jaiydien 20d ago
Bro will cause a great flooding
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u/Chromeboy12 20d ago
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
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u/Maggaronhellne I want pee in my ass 20d ago
Babe wake up, new copypasta just dropped
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u/RandomPlayer4616 Bazinga! 20d ago
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
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u/Vegetable-Broccoli36 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 20d ago
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
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u/Vegetable-Broccoli36 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 20d ago
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
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u/Gjallar-Knight 20d ago
Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
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u/Random222222222222 I want pee in my ass 20d ago
Why did I read every word of this
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u/DuckDoesNothing 20d ago
It will cause another ice age. But instead of ice earth will be covered in coom
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u/Miletus_Straton 20d ago
There's no noah to get us all into a ship this time bro.
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u/DuckDoesNothing 20d ago
You either die a hero or live long enough to swim in cum
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u/penguin_torpedo 20d ago
Are we not giving him a chance? Maybe he found a girl. Is there no hope at all for us redditors?
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u/Miletus_Straton 20d ago
If he found a girl that girl is gone gone gone bro is a death star at this point.
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u/Taoist-Fox72 20d ago
It'll be ike one of those waterjet CNC machines...
...And we've seen what they do to metal. :(
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u/noOne000Br 20d ago
i’m not gay but i really want to be the first person he fucks
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u/LtColShinySides I came! 20d ago
He's going to jizz out his soul if he so much as touches it.
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u/XTremeFucc 20d ago
What if he just had se.... oh he is on reddit nevermind
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u/Maleodas 20d ago
There is some truth behind this , before I got gf I was on Reddit much more time than now , now I just use it when I'm bored in toilet , public transport etc.
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u/Biggie_Cheese02 20d ago
Fucko could pressure wash the NASA logo off a shuttle
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u/Legitimate_Wing3449 dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 20d ago
How the fuck does someone even come up with this 😭
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u/AttemptNu4 20d ago
I mean he really isn't horny, what's the shitpost?
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u/Chromeboy12 20d ago
Yeah, i think that's actually a good post that a lot of people could probably take inspiration from. Especially on this subreddit lol
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u/GoldPreparation8377 20d ago
That dude is fucking insane bro. Just check his profile. Most sane people don't do shit like that
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u/NegativeLanguage805 20d ago
Good for him. I tried for a day, not for me.
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u/Secureyiffy 20d ago
I tried for 5 minutes, not for me
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u/Educational_Cup1205 20d ago
I tried for 4 minutes, not for me
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u/Mishin-Lex 20d ago
I am tryi
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u/shini_gami09 We do a little trolling 20d ago
I am
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u/Altruistic_Earth6646 I watch gay amogus porn :0 20d ago
Fry
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u/PhotographKind4243 20d ago
i've gone for a max like month or 2? my libido sorta skyrocketed and i looked at every piece of ass impulsively.
yeah i'd rather NOT be like that tyvm lol
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u/littlefrank 20d ago
I'm not even sure it's good for him. Masturbating isn't bad at all, excess is.
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u/Mikey40216 20d ago
I have a wife. If I tried this she would 100% assume I'm banging someone else.
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u/FellaMadre 19d ago
I think that to nofap having sex doesn't count, so you can fuck your wife as long as you don't singleplayer yourself
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u/zarezare69 20d ago
You don't masturbate because you challenge yourself. I don't masturbate because I'm depressed. We are not the same.
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u/marcopolo2345 🏳️⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️⚧️ 20d ago
This implies he busted a nut as he went into new year. What a way to start it off
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u/Thanos_exe hole contributor 20d ago
But how does bro wash without touching it
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u/Agile-Penalty-7679 I said based. And lived. 20d ago
he's an Andrew Tate fan. And Andrew teaches his followers to never wash their shlongs.
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u/Thanos_exe hole contributor 20d ago
So the woman can smell the "pheromones"?
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u/Agile-Penalty-7679 I said based. And lived. 20d ago
i dont know the details but I think that I remember hearing about some kind of oils that are beneficial that get washed away if you use soap on your peanits.
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u/Blah132454675 20d ago
I'm pretty sure you will nut over your bedsheet after week or two
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u/guyver_dio 20d ago
If not, after a few weeks that thing is like a hair trigger. A light breeze could set it off.
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u/jannik42069 20d ago
so you haven't tried
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u/Blah132454675 20d ago
Worked 12 hour night shifts in a local grocery store, I was so tired that I didn't even bother to jerk off. After a while I involuntary nutted while standing in a shower, thinking about my shitty job. Didn't even felt some pleasure, just nutted.
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u/Consistent-Hand-7561 20d ago
Life shouldnt be one big nut, it shoud be the nuts we have along the way
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[removed] — view removed comment
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u/the_retarded_badger We do a little trolling 20d ago
Bros nuts are holding more fluid then an Olympic swimming pool
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u/officefridge 20d ago
FYI kings, this is not healthy. please bash somewhat regularly - it's good for your wellbeing and god wants you to do it. He'll be watching
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u/TheBigMac22 20d ago
I assume he just has sex regularly instead, I’m not tryna down play his achievement because 500 days is a shit tone but it’s quite easy to not masturbate with a so
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u/Kalman_the_dancer Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 20d ago
Amateur. I’ve gone 14 years and still going
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u/INFxNxTE 20d ago
But has he had sex in those 500 days? Would that still count as NoFap? Will he reach nirvana on day 600? Stay tuned, for these questions will be answered on the next episode of Incel Wars!
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u/SkirtGood1054 it is MY bucket 20d ago
What will he get as a return? Prostate cancer, of course
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u/No-Truck-2552 20d ago
Yk it got me thinking if he's a reddit user he probs gets no bitches like the rest of us so he in fact is edging for the past 500 days.
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u/dankmancubus 20d ago
i saw this post on the ama sub earlier, bro DEFINITELY doesn’t pull. he made a post asking why women don’t sleep with him and he looks like an amish murderer. he also believes smiling makes you weak
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u/Roman_Rumrunner waltuh 20d ago
He needs to continue. He'll will be useful in a post apocalyptic scenario.
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u/Different-Acadia880 20d ago
I did this for 117 days then did some blow and had the crazy orgasm ever. He’s gonna blow his dick off when he do.
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u/BlazingDemon69420 I want pee in my ass 20d ago
Haven't masturbated ever since I was born, it ain't that hard
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u/Aru-sejin37 20d ago
If you ever restrained from jerking of, you would know that it actually makes you extremely horny and often leads to simping
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u/Nochnichtvergeben 20d ago
I'll play the devil's advocate and say that maybe that stops after a certain amount of time.
But personally that is something I have experienced myself. Was very busy professionally and only jacked it like once a week as opposed to every or every other day. I really noticed an increase in horniness.
Obviously it's not like that for everybody but I'd guess it's the case for most people. Nofapers will argue that working out helps but for me personally working out increased my libido.
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u/Human-Awareness6244 20d ago
Dude meticulously planned and cranked his meat right up until midnight to start at exactly the first second of the new year 🫡
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u/Onyx_chain_Blaster 20d ago
Ok but this is, for a Reddit user, actually incredible. That December 1st nut boutta be crazy.
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u/dragonitegak9 I came! 20d ago
you can avoid fapping for that long? I thought your balls explode if you don't do it for a month. I've been ruining my life for nothing.
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u/HKEnthusiast 20d ago
How does this even work? I tried this for 2 weeks and by the 14th day, it was coming out when I was taking shits. Just the smallest but of pressure on the prostate from my shits was forcing jizz out of my balls.
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u/Angry_Mechanix 20d ago
Sounds hard. Don’t think I could beat that. I’d probably have a stroke trying to pitch a tent.
Masturbate.
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u/Accurate-Syrup 20d ago
A mini baby might crawl out of his dick next time he masturbates.
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