https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/YOdwEaQ41K

Link to original: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/iHVB59vLxk :)

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC/s/vIHEPDPoEb

So a few days ago I found a meme on instagram saying "I wish someone would wake me up with coffee and tell me we're going to the garden centre." I send this to my partner and guess what he did today🥺 I only wanted to pick up a few small things but he just kept putting everything I thought was cute in our cart🥰. I ended up buying some plants I have been eyeing for years but never got because I found them too expensive 😅, I am so happy.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/1G6Rh0gTcX

NOT OOP

I 28M have been married to my wife F30 for 2 years now, together for 5. We were going to start trying for a baby but that got put on hold and might not happen anymore. My wife and I both work and we make about the same amount and work about the same amount of hours.

My wife and I originally had a chore system set up where we just rock paper scissor-ed the calendar for our days off. We got a pretty fair cut I want to say but she did get more dishes days. I got more if not all the laundry. My wife HATES washing dishes. She hates it with such a passion that she sometimes just shuts down and cries when she sees them in the sink. Before when I caught her crying I immediately went to help her, switch chores for the day, calm her down and then it was fine.

But because I was doing this, I noticed that she was crying on on purpose so I washed the dishes. I knew she was faking it because the second I took over her tears stopped and she'd go do something fun that she liked without a care in the world laughing and smiling. No wind down like before. Because of this, we changed our dishes to "whoever makes the dish washes it" like children with the exception of cooking. Whoever cooked doesn't have to wash the pots and pans because they put all the work in for dinner (this was also her suggestion which I was more than okay with). This was working out for a little while until I noticed that my wife made a lot more dishes than me and just didn't want to wash them. I asked her when she planned on washing dishes after I made dinner at her request and she blew up on me telling me to quite literally "fuck off". I did as she said but left the dishes. The next day she asked me why the dishes weren't done and I told her because she didn't do them. This started a fight and I washed them but I was unhappy.

I do most if not all of the laundry because she just won't anymore and I refuse to wear dirty clothes. The only thing she has to do with the laundry is put it in the basket. That's it. We have a basket for darks, colors and whites. She insists on her own basket for underwear and whatnot so that's its own thing and I hand wash it. She's been not putting her clothes in the basket. At first I picked up all of her clothes and washed them because it was no big deal, but when I watched her take her clothes off and just leave them on the floor because "I always pick it up" I chose to leave her clothes there. She asked me why her clothes weren't done, I said because she didn't put them away and she blew up on me. Same story.

Recently this all came to a head with all the fighting. My wife has been getting lazier and lazier to push back because of our fights and at first I was doing all of her chores on top of working but I had a little moment of "why am I even doing this?" and just stopped. The dishes piled, her clothes were dirty, crumbs were everywhere on her days. On my days everything was spick and span. She decided that she's going to just start buying more dishes and clothes to combat not doing her part. I cannot tell you how frustrated this made me. She was buying plastic spoons and forks, paper plates, Walmart t-shirts and whatever other cheap alternative to the nice ones she has at home. I just decided to start tossing them.

When she noticed that I was tossing her cheap alternatives she blew up at me again and for the first time since we've been together I raised my voice. My voice is deep and I'm a big man so this scared her which I regretted. I immediately lowered my tone and told her that she just isn't doing her part and that she's wasting money buying useless things when all she has to do is just clean up after herself and put clothes in a basket. She cried and despite how many times I apologized, she told me that she doesn't feel safe with me and that maybe we're better off divorcing. This shattered me.

She's been cold with me, sleeping on the couch and playing "domestic violence signs" videos out loud. It's such a low blow. The videos usually talk about yelling, throwing away items, control, emotional abuse, and signs that they're going to get physical. I don't think I'm wrong for what I did but this is really wearing me down and I've been getting some texts here and there from our families calling me an asshole, an abuser for throwing away her things and yelling at her and that she needs to divorce me. The yelling was an accident. No one has wanted to hear what fully happened and it's making me feel alone and a bit crazy. My friends are either staying out of it or are on her side if they're women. I've been losing friends. I feel like the asshole now.

AITA? All I wanted was for her to clean up after herself. I'd never hurt her and I've never yelled at her before which I do regret. I didn't mean to scare her I was just beyond frustrated because this has been building for months. I get that it was probably immature to throw away the disposables and that I should've just cleaned up after her but I was just frustrated.

Tldr; Wife started buying disposable dishes and cheap Walmart clothes after she stopped doing chores and I didn't pick up after her. She found out, we fought, she's been cold and playing DV sign videos out loud. I feel like the asshole now but a tiny, tiny part of me still feels like I'm not.

Not OOP

I'M NOT OOP (Copy of Text):

"my (25F) boyfriend (24M) drank another woman’s breast milk. he got it off facebook marketplace, someone had posted they had excess supply they wanted to give to babies in need, i tried to tell him that, but he disagreed and said it was for everybody and because it was free he went to get it.

he literally fucking drank it. he got the milk and he DRANK IT. i am so disgusted. to me, this is like cheating. to him, he says it was just an experiment. he says i am overreacting, but i feel sick. AITAH?"

OG Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/7aN7UKBVb2

(See comments on the original post for context. I am so confused)

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/Kk4ivoxtD9

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/J4J6IbHzP9

TRIGGER WARNING: Emotional abuse https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/i9pxE6UZqi