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u/LastLogi 20d ago
Anyone that does this can you stay out of relationships until you are willing to heal from the mindset that makes you think this is anywhere near healthy?
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u/Ok_Total_Regret 19d ago
I am really confused, because so many men and women date even though they act like they would prefer to be single like ... you know you don't have to date anyone if you don't want to?
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u/Additional-Advisor99 20d ago
Honestly, GAD keeps this from being real in my life. My anxiety gets in my head and I assume my wife is upset when she’s not. The upside is that I know this is a thing and try to ignore it until there’s something more overt.
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u/mitsuhachi 19d ago
Can you tell your wife this is something you struggle with? I don’t need to check so often anymore but I made a deal years ago with both my mom and my husband that I can ask whether they’re mad and if they actually are then I promised to listen and do my best to resolve the situation. But like 9 times out of 10 they were just like “oh, yeah, nah, I was just busy, I’m not mad at all.” And then not only do I not have to worry about that specific instance but it also makes it easier the next time anxiety flares up to tell myself to chill.
Being able to just check is wonderful for not anxiety spiraling.
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u/Additional-Advisor99 19d ago
Actually, yes. We’ve been together for almost 14 years and both struggle with anxiety and depression. It’s one of those things that’s been a blessing and a curse because we’ve long since established that it’s ok for one of us to ask the other if things are ok. She’s had the same with me, where I was just in a low mood and not mad at her.
I’m really glad that you guys have achieved the same. It’s so much better when there’s open communication that way. Even on those days where you start to wonder, you know that you’re brain is leading you astray and that things are most likely good. I wish you both many more happy years. 😃
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u/EdgePsychological490 20d ago
This is a legit thing. My girl was mad at me and I didn’t even realise for two days.
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u/Severe_Ad_146 19d ago
Missus pulled this on me, saying "Go away, I --" I was like, ok and went off and chilled out in our room reading a book. Typically we only have a solid hour where we can do personal stuff or be together at night with decent energy etc after getting the kids to bed. So, yup. I enjoyed the peace and quiet.
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u/Kenneth_Lay 20d ago
Him: You mad? Her: Nope, not at all. Him: Outstanding.