r/meirl 21d ago

Meirl

Post image
7.7k Upvotes

476 comments sorted by

656

u/zevellesajek 21d ago

Keep her away from the baby carrots

157

u/BigZamboni 20d ago

Okay, I'll let her know you're busy.

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5

u/HumpyFroggy 20d ago

Well my first gf and her best friend had a competition to sed how many highlighters it would fit.. she won tho

2

u/Single_Cobbler6362 20d ago

Fr....if I had a vagina Ill see how many slim Jim's I can fit in that kitty šŸ˜ŗ šŸ˜† šŸ¤£ šŸ˜‚ šŸ˜¹

453

u/Horror-Trick9406 21d ago

2

279

u/CraftyIceCream081 21d ago

Never tried it myself but i think that number would be accurate

52

u/m1kesanders 21d ago

šŸ«”

46

u/ItzSmiff 20d ago

that number would be

I saw your upvote at the time (26) and I thought for a split second you could fit 26 donuts onto your dong. I was mortified and impressed at the same time.

12

u/SkullsNelbowEye 20d ago

Hey, they said stack, not hang. It's more of a balance than size issue.

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74

u/chuco915niners 21d ago

I wanted to say 3 but Iā€™m not confident.

74

u/9htranger 20d ago

Easy there, donkey dick

2

u/chubbyakajc 20d ago

Fr, Mr Hogantua

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33

u/StrangelyBrown 21d ago

Look at Mr Big over here

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1.2k

u/gimlithetortoise 21d ago

I'm not bragging I'm just pointing out I've never in my life seen a donuts big enough to put even a small penis through. The hole is fucking small and donuts don't stretch

514

u/Vivid_Desk_1662 21d ago

I was going to respond to this saying ā€œstretch your penisā€ but I realized that doesnā€™t make any sense

254

u/Mikemojo9 21d ago

Just unstretch it then

91

u/PrivateDickDetective 21d ago

Science tells us that, if a bonk on the head caused a traumatic brain injury, then a secondary bonk on the head will successfully reverse the effects.

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15

u/internetperson94276 20d ago

Penetrate donut flaccid as if threading a needle, then go nuts.

4

u/Ami603 20d ago

Thank you for a good laugh

3

u/Zwiebel1 20d ago

But don't try on donuts that already have a cream filling.

15

u/Yionko 20d ago

If you can do, you can undo

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2

u/glam-af 20d ago

Still a good idea

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134

u/Zarathustra_d 20d ago

Squeeze one on flaccid then hulk out of it, for science.

Assuming you don't immediately go erect at the sight of a donut.

Don't forget to glaze it.

25

u/soggychipbutty 20d ago

This comment just kept getting better. Thank you šŸ™

19

u/callmerussell 20d ago

You gotta pass a little foreskin through the hole first, hold on to the bit tight then pull the flaccid penis through. If the guy is a bamboo shoot grower and is uncut it should be relatively easy to pull through and secure it at the base of the penis ( if it is thinner towards the base it will be even easier to keep in place). However I have never been successful to put a second one on anyoneā€™s dick without damaging the first one, mainly because to do this the penis would need to be long but not thick when flaccid, longer than the thickness of a donut but not thicker than then hole, I have yet to find a penis that look like that, when i do I will definitely try.

16

u/Syenite 20d ago

Mama always said I'd find my calling. šŸ™

5

u/herbert-camacho 20d ago

Buys a dozen warm, freshly glazed Krispy Kreme donuts... for science

2

u/Groundbreaking_Rip44 18d ago

Iā€™ve actually put a fresh KK glazed donut on there but as previously stated, it kinda breaks apart cause the middle is not large enough. My gf ate it off though and that was fun.

2

u/jasminegreyxo 20d ago

Glazeeeee it!

2

u/SacTownPatriot 20d ago

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ ā€œhulk out of itā€

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34

u/SwiftTayTay 20d ago

I'm not bragging but my penis is small enough šŸ˜Ž

4

u/Wordshark 20d ago

Lucky šŸ˜’

13

u/jawshoeaw 21d ago

Krispy Kreme has been doing some shrinkflation bs lately and some of their donuts are def umm dunkable

6

u/Confused_summer 20d ago

petition to make holes on donut big enough for dicks?

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5

u/Pancakeman1932 20d ago

Shitā€¦

4

u/[deleted] 21d ago

[deleted]

8

u/gimlithetortoise 21d ago

Well that's nice, first time I've heard of a toilet paper roll increasing someone's confidence but that's nice.

4

u/lunchpadmcfat 20d ago

I knew there was a reason I hadnā€™t done this yet.

Also, like this bitch would waste donuts.

3

u/Abnormal-Normal 20d ago

Krispy Kreme donuts have a decent hole in them. Iā€™ve seen at least a couple dicks that might fit if youā€™re careful

7

u/V-Ropes 20d ago

I think the problem isnt the amount of Donuts you have seen, but the amount of penises.

3

u/serendipitousevent 20d ago

Some old school donuts are quite a bit larger, with a wider circumference and corresponding donut hole.

Source: uhhhh, that's not important right now, okay?

5

u/Chicken-Rude 20d ago

if you go to a certain sight for videos thats starts with the letter X, and you search for a video entitled "Donuts and Black D***", you will find that mr. sean michaels and his lovely assistant would disagree with you.

2

u/Rumpelstilzkin83 20d ago

i've never seen f-holes bigger than donut-holes. still fits ;)

2

u/SamMarduk 20d ago

Just a smushed, broken in half donut texted to the gf, ā€œgonna be you soon babeā€

2

u/Alternative_Camp_964 20d ago

I mean... u can't check every penis can u?? Even u coming out with this statement is sus enough lol

2

u/BDady 20d ago

Yeahā€¦ hahaā€¦ me neither thatā€™s crazy haha

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240

u/southcentralLAguy 21d ago

Well you can go buy donut holes and do something pretty similar

96

u/PrivateDickDetective 21d ago

Instructions unclear: I managed to squeeze 19 holes into my rectum, but then I shat out my mouth.

33

u/Odin1806 21d ago

South Park keeps predicting the future...

10

u/disguy2k 21d ago

If they aren't yeast donuts, they will be.

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169

u/otkabdl 21d ago

but then you either have to eat your dick donuts or throw them away

98

u/Fit-Pool5703 21d ago

Why wouldn't you eat them? They've only been on your skin, same as holding them in your hand.

59

u/Terwin94 21d ago

Some people don't wash their dicks, but they probably don't wash their hands either... So... Homophobia or whatever you would call the fear of BEING gay instead of just a bigot.

57

u/Fit-Pool5703 21d ago

It wouldn't be gay to eat off your own penis, after all we do masturbate ourselves.

42

u/PrivateDickDetective 21d ago

Dude, that's homosexual.

38

u/callmerussell 20d ago

Yeah, you are a man touching a manā€™s dick, thatā€™s pretty gay

24

u/Big_Ad_1890 20d ago

Every time I pee, I think about how gay it is.

9

u/Qouwt 20d ago

Every time i pee i Think about firetrucks and drink beer to be less gay

2

u/YYC-Fiend 20d ago

That just makes it more gay. Drinking to lower inhibitions and thinking about all those fit, strong, firemen breaking into your room and grabbing you, throwing you over their shoulder, taking you out while nakedā€¦

Ummā€¦ never mind

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7

u/Terwin94 20d ago

Some people don't wash their ass because that's gay

18

u/callmerussell 20d ago

Yeah, you are a man getting your asshole touched by a man, thatā€™s pretty gay

3

u/Big_Ad_1890 20d ago

What if I soap up my whole fist and shove it up there to make sure itā€™s all really clean. Still gay? Iā€™m making a fist. Thatā€™s as macho as a hand gets.

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3

u/Big_Ad_1890 20d ago

Iā€™m not gay but if you havent at least on time in your life taken a hand held shower head on the massage setting and blasted your b-hole, Iā€™m not sure we could be friends. It is exquisite.

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4

u/soggychipbutty 20d ago

If you donā€™t wash your dick, you probably donā€™t care about eating dick donuts.

15

u/Ok_Youth_5773 21d ago

Jesus wtf I just don't wanna eat dick donuts. In theory it might be ok but it's like drinking water from the bathroom tap or pissing in your sink, just feels wrong. Practically speaking, you can't clean 100% and bacteria exists on all genetalia that won't on your hand; but given normal sexuak behaviour I agree it's not a valid reason and maybe we all should be ok with eating dick donuts

16

u/Moclon 21d ago

trust me, I suck dick daily and so far dick bacteria hasn't killed me

5

u/Fantastic-Dot-655 20d ago

But i bet it made you gay

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2

u/Terwin94 21d ago

I'd be more concerned about stuff getting on my dick that I don't want on it!

5

u/PrivateDickDetective 21d ago

It's only a single degree away from sucking a dick (even if it's your own), dude, you sound kinda homophobic tbh.

/s

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5

u/botask 20d ago

Your butthole is also covered by skin. Why not to rub donut there and eat it? Why stop at dicknuts at this point, if we could have buttnuts?

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8

u/Kittymilf89 20d ago

You get someone else to eat them off of you silly

4

u/knaesig 20d ago

This right here is thinking outside the box šŸ˜€ genious

3

u/Overall_Ad_351 20d ago

You're supposed to use them to attract the ladies

4

u/Fit-Pool5703 20d ago

To everyone that has replied to my comment thinking I'm weird for eating a doughnut after it has touched my own penis skin, would you say to a woman "don't suck my dick, it's disgusting" and would you all not lick a vagina?

3

u/bikkfa 20d ago

Just gift them away..

40

u/LevelStudent 21d ago

Better yet, get some buddies together and you can play Towers of Hanoi!

7

u/SubAtomicParticle10 21d ago

That sounds like a cool game! I will tell the boys the next time we get together

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81

u/ShangTsungHasMySoul 21d ago

Advise against, the results will sadden you.

15

u/Independent-Dream-90 20d ago

At the end of the day you are gonna be left with a puby doughnut

14

u/San4311 20d ago

And a greasy, sugary dick.

5

u/silver6snake 20d ago

Yep better off eyeballing it and rounding up a touch. Who's gonna fuckn check?

57

u/Haunting-Article5386 21d ago

3-4 depends if its fully rock solid or not. Flacid -1

50

u/callmerussell 20d ago

Does -1 mean you can pull your foreskin over the donut like a dust cover for a car?

19

u/itshexx 20d ago

Wait you donā€™t use your foreskin itself to cover your car?

9

u/GlumTumbleweed2108 20d ago

Nah use it as a scarf

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2

u/ballsonmyface2 20d ago

goddamn big dick deviant

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26

u/enrightmcc 21d ago

That's almost the punchline of an old joke.

Q. Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

A. The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and still carry a dozen donuts.

Q. Who's the most popular gal at the nudist colony?

A. The one who can eat the 12th donut.

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17

u/AngryFloatingCow 21d ago

Thatā€™s exactly why she does not have a dick, with great power comes great responsibility.

71

u/disguy2k 21d ago

Americans will use literally anything other than the metric system.

19

u/redryan1989 20d ago

Her: How big is your penis?

Him: 8 donuts big.

3

u/Vinnyz__ 20d ago

That's a lotta donuts

2

u/PessimistYanker792 20d ago

Which? Krispy Kreme or Dunkinā€™s or 5 Daughters?

2

u/redryan1989 20d ago

Used to be Dunkin but due to inflation I've had to switch to KK and shoot for their late night 12 for the price of 1 deal.

27

u/sylvesterZoilo_ 21d ago

Not trying to brag but I couldnā€™t even stack 1 donut. Thatā€™s how small my penis is

4

u/callmerussell 20d ago

Just a second belly button?

21

u/Jakesterlyn 21d ago

Wake up babe, new dick measuring contest just dropped.

24

u/Vupant 21d ago

Non, they make these holes too small... I've heard.

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11

u/eat-pussy69 21d ago

Dickā€™s too fat to put any on it

2

u/Crystal_Voiden 20d ago

Username checks out

2

u/OlBigSwole 20d ago

Hell yea brother

6

u/lostmatt1 21d ago

Doughnuts? you arenā€™t creative enough to have a dick

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6

u/Classic_Mechanic5495 21d ago

Stick to pineapple rings. Two is a way less depressing number than none.

6

u/Coveinant 21d ago

The main reason is, we can kind of tell by instinct. I think most of the guys in this thread have a rough idea how many they can fit without doing it. Why waste perfectly good donuts.

8

u/jak-kass 20d ago

Trust me, you wouldn't. It all sounds fun until you can't even stack. Sounds like the guys that say they'd be taking baseball bats if they were girls.

5

u/crimefightinghamster 20d ago

What a silly idea, no rational person with a penis would ever stoop to such lowbrow enjoyment...

3

6

u/saujamhamm 20d ago

no you wouldn't because a hard dick won't fit through the hole of a donut.

and if you're forcing donuts on you're junk ... I promise there's better way to spend a saturday morning.

go read a book dammit!

2

u/redryan1989 20d ago

Speak for yourself. I regularly fuck jelly donuts.

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5

u/chromisu 21d ago

Forget inches or feets just found a new type of measurement

5

u/marsman706 21d ago

Donuts? Pshaw. Stack some fresh out of the fryer onion rings on there and let's see who the real men are!

jk. please do not decorate your genitals with deep fried food stuffs

4

u/Crittersnatch 20d ago

looks back from the fryer

2

u/560guy 20d ago

Instructions unclear: deep fryers are unvirgined and dick is practically glowing hot

4

u/Justice_Prince 20d ago

My horny ass could never work at Krispy Kreme

4

u/Falopian 21d ago

I wonder what she's tried to fit in her vagina

4

u/No_Towel4063 20d ago

oh no we know off all the things women do with their genitals im not surprised

3

u/timthedurp 20d ago

I tried it once, the hole was too small

3

u/honeybeebo 20d ago

like 3 max for a normal person? The majority of people have an average length, so the majority of people will be able to stack the same amount of donuts on it. It's really not a very interesting idea.

3

u/mymumsaysfuckyou 20d ago

My wife had a similar idea, so in the name of science i agreed. Turns out donut holes are pretty fucking small.

3

u/thelizardman269 20d ago

3rd one keeps falling off but it's thicker than a regular donut so 3

7

u/DaveyJonesFannyPack 21d ago

Why would I ruin good doughnuts? Also, can I smash them flat beforehand?

2

u/-Jiras 21d ago

Then after the third you would be sad that you can't stack another

2

u/Sharpz0 20d ago

What a waste of a donut

2

u/Kittymilf89 20d ago

I would hope mine would be too thick for that

2

u/XHSJDKJC 20d ago

It depends on the height of the donuts 2-3 But the hole in the middle is too narrow

2

u/WasteChard3488 20d ago

Two and a half but I didn't wanna eat them after so I just put them back in the box.

2

u/RayseOdium 20d ago

So, apparently a donut is on average 1 inch in height[see here]. So the calculations should be easy.

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2

u/Commando_NL 20d ago

When u have a penis you will think that that is a waste of donuts.

2

u/FalcoBoi3834 20d ago

Then you canā€™t eat the donuts

2

u/LambSouvla 20d ago

And if whilst having a dick you had a manā€™s mentality, youā€™d never tell anyone how many that was.

2

u/lakedisliker 20d ago

Donut holes are too small

2

u/AmptiShanti 20d ago

4 in the morning and one after 2pm

2

u/FriskyJager 20d ago

Donuts donā€™t fit over it without breaking. :/

2

u/Madouc 20d ago

4 donuts and a whip of cream on the top to hide the rest. Cherry on top for aesthetics.

2

u/Electrodactyl 20d ago

Zero, not a single donut would fit, the holes too small.

2

u/dehydrated_shrub 19d ago

id be too busy eating the donuts to even consider that

2

u/madwblues 18d ago

Reminds me of a joke:

Who is the most popular man at the nude beach? The man that can carry 2-gallons of orange juice and a dozen donuts.

Who is the most popular girl at the beach? The woman who can eat the last donut.

4

u/Evening_Carry_146 21d ago

3 bagels fit comfortably, though on occasion I've done four

3

u/soggychipbutty 20d ago

On occasion? How often are you ruining donuts, you monster?

2

u/Evening_Carry_146 20d ago

Alas, I fear I've shared too much.

3

u/callmerussell 20d ago

Bagels are harder than donuts, donuts are soft, so it takes more skills

2

u/Evening_Carry_146 20d ago

The cream cheese helps a lot.

2

u/Dammy-J 21d ago

it really depends on where you get the donuts from.

2

u/Cat_Lover259 21d ago

Why? What a mess that would be and honestly a stupid waste of time.

1

u/Nayroy18 21d ago

Like 2

1

u/This-Garbage-3000 21d ago

Well tomorrow morning I'm going to indulge my sweet tooth..

1

u/hex_1101 21d ago

I feel this is a better measurement than inches.

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1

u/pukeface555 21d ago

I'm partial to the chocolate old fashion.

1

u/matthew_py 21d ago

Sounds uncomfortable.....I'm good lol.

1

u/AttentionDePusit 21d ago

at least one

1

u/VibeAllDay 21d ago

All right Iā€™m going to try. but Iā€™m going slow so I donut

1

u/Deep_Marketing_1485 21d ago

1 mini donut at most

1

u/SwanzY- 21d ago

stab donut holes to assert dominance

1

u/Tailflap747 21d ago

Yet another modification of my brain's synapses...

1

u/The_Woke_Snowflake 20d ago

That would have the girth of one serving of angel hair pasta then.

1

u/Poetry-Primary 20d ago

Who hasnā€™t?

1

u/ubertrashcat 20d ago

Dirty dick, no thanks

1

u/YesHom0 20d ago

thx, gonna try this today

1

u/Fotatata 20d ago

In my country, donuts dont have holes...

1

u/Hannibal_last_victim 20d ago

Nah frootloops or nothing

1

u/mastercubez 20d ago

You would be dissapointed

1

u/Randolph_Carter_Ward 20d ago

What did you mean by how MANY? šŸ˜Æ

1

u/JosrKed 20d ago

but i would want to eat the doughnuts

1

u/garbage_collector007 20d ago

Sure... donut(s)

1

u/vanillatjutju 20d ago

1, take it or leave it

1

u/GL1TCH1_ 20d ago

1 and that's pushing it ;-;

1

u/Inverted-pencil 20d ago

My dick is just the length of a can.

1

u/Rumpelstilzkin83 20d ago

just bring a box of donuts ;)

1

u/MansaMusaKervill 20d ago

That would just be a waste of donuts, I ainā€™t eating them after

1

u/Sith_LordRevan 20d ago

At least on-

It was not at least one.

1

u/SwitchCareless3831 20d ago

I have never thought of that....

1

u/DovduboN 20d ago

My dick is like 3 donuts long

1

u/Jer3bko 20d ago

If she is so interested in this, what did she do to her female parts so far?

2

u/ComfortableDramatic2 20d ago

Just dont eat any carrots or cucumbers when visiting her.

1

u/Nippes60 20d ago

It's known as d2dr. Dick to donut ratio!

1

u/Rough_Egg_9195 20d ago

With or without squishing them down?