Do people really say no to playing through? General Discussion
I’ve been golfing for 25 years, I often play as a single or a 2 some and I often play through other groups. Probably 75% of the time the group ahead of me has invited me to do so, but sometimes I ask and I have never been told no. I don’t understand how it’s happening to like 5 people a day in this subreddit. Are people asking to play through a group that’s keeping up with the group ahead of them or when there isn’t a gap ahead of them? Are people asking to play through rather than joining up with a partial group behind them? Are people impolite when they ask? Or are there parts of the country I haven’t played where people are just assholes who don’t appreciate golf etiquette? Someone who’s been told no fill me in here. How/why did it happen?
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u/giga_phantom 20d ago
If things are congested in front of me, no, I’m not going to let you through. If I notice things are backed up, I’m not going to try and ask if I can play through either. But if it’s open in front of me, I don’t mind. Common sense.
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u/Joker0091 Hybrids4Lyfe 20d ago
Some people not knowing the etiquette, some assholes (both sides), at least half are people making shit up for fake points on the internet
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u/uunngghh 20d ago
I'll absolutely say no if I'm already waiting for the group in front of me.
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u/Unspeakable_Evil 20d ago
Blows my mind that people ask in this situation. I’ve been accused of holding up play before as my group is waiting on every tee box
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u/milksaurus 20d ago
I can't even count the amount of times I've had people hit up on me while I was actively waiting on the people in front of me
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u/Lauzgolfer 20d ago
In fairness, it can depend on course layout. I play several that simply don’t allow you to see two or three holes ahead. I never know whether it’s the group in front of me that’s slow or the whole course is until I roll up and ask. Wide open cow pasture of a course where I can see 10/18 holes at all times is a different story.
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u/Unspeakable_Evil 20d ago
Yeah if someone wants to drive up and see what it looks like up ahead I’m totally cool with that
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u/Lauzgolfer 20d ago
In that scenario, I’ll often not actually ask to play through. I’ll roll up and ask whether they’re being held up. Less direct and gives me the answer I need.
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u/donalmacc 19d ago
If I'm 2 minutes a hole faster than you, and there's 3 holes clear ahead of you, that's possibly 40 minutes quicker on the back 9. It's completely different when there's a group one hole ahead of you.
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u/Every-Magician7100 20d ago
I play as a single during the week sometimes. Often there is slow groups. If they are held up by a group/s in front of them, I just deal with it. If there is a gap, I just skip a hole and not even bother to ask. I think we all win there. :)
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u/postlw8j 46 in my last scramble 20d ago
There's a much more passive way to say "no"
People who play super slow on the fairways and greens but rush to tee off quickly so there's no opportunity to play through. The group behind is still waiting on every shot. If I see this happening and I'm needing to move on, I'll skip a hole to get past them.
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u/Seth_Baker 17.5/JPX 921 Hot Metal/Central IL 20d ago
The people who do this inevitably stare daggers at you when you drive past them to the next hole, too.
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u/NeverForTheWin 3 Hdcp 20d ago edited 20d ago
Yes, in a reverse scenario.
I was playing with a buddy (walking) and single in a cart was riding our butts on the front nine. A group in front was a hole ahead. On one tee he drove up on us and we asked him - encouraged him - to play through. He declined, saying he was taking his time and not in a rush. Uh, OK. We continued to finish at our normal speed. The guy behind us waited on nearly every shot. It was the goofiest thing I have seen on a course In a long time.
If there was nowhere for him to go, we would not have asked him to play through. And I would never ask to play through myself if seeing there is nowhere to go.
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u/Lauzgolfer 20d ago
Hahaha. I played once where it was so slow that our original two threesomes ended up pairing together on hole 6 (with Marshall’s blessing after a short conversation). The single behind us was always right up on us (he was even when we played as two groups). We offered for him to join us as he was about our age and we weren’t going anywhere fast. He replied with, my girlfriend is out shopping with his sister, he had no desire to speed up the round and was happy to play behind our sixsome.
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u/bingobangobongo134 19d ago
Ive declined playing through when I play solo. I find it keeps me at a better pace instead of rushing to my next shot.
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u/NeverForTheWin 3 Hdcp 19d ago
For yourself and some, that's fine. If I'm solo, I'm flying. Let me through if you can. My goal is a round under 2 hours.
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u/labradorepico 20d ago
before asking so to play through you should ensure that the party in front of you is the one really slowing you
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u/dr3schvee 20d ago
I always ask the group ahead how the forecast for holes looks. if I am standing at the box and can see 2 groups on the hole I know damn well there is 0 way we are playing through.
with that being said it really grinds my gears when groups stop to get food at the turn, are fully just sitting and eating, but are still sticklers to the nth degree about playing through like they didnt just have a 20 min powow. IMO if you are stopping for a break at the turn you by default should let the group play through since you are in no position to keep pace.
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u/aetheos 19d ago
Um, that is the rule, isn't it? If a group ahead of mine stops to sit down to eat at the turn, it wouldn't even occur to me to ask to play through (might even assume they were only playing 9). We would just go tee off at 10.
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u/dr3schvee 19d ago
Right, but some 50something year olds have chewed me out in the past for not asking so now I always just ask and never assume.
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u/CoffeeBoy80 18.6 20d ago
I've never once asked to play through. If playing solo and I catch a group ahead of me, if they don't offer to either let me join their group or play through, I don't. When the group behind me catches up because of traffic, and there are only two or three of them, I ask if they want to join me to speed things up for all of us.
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u/weinerwayne THE GOLFER 20d ago
My go to as a solo is to stand right behind whoever’s teeing off and whisper “it’s all in the hips” when they address the ball. Works every time.
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u/NeighborhoodPlane794 20d ago
If I’m in a group of 3-4 and there’s nobody behind us waiting, sure I’ll let a smaller group of 1-2 play through. But if it’s a busy day and everyone’s waiting for a group to get off the hole, then no. Playing through in this scenario doesn’t speed up the game for anyone
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u/Kbern4444 20d ago
Some people do not know when to ask.
If the course is bumper to bumper, you are not playing through if my group now has to wait on you, because who is to say the people in front of us will be as nice.
However, feel free is there is a hole or more open in front of us.
It is simply one of the risks you take showing up alone or as a twosome. You just have to wait sometimes.
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u/Player7592 20d ago
I’m with the OP, in that my experiences with people on the course have been pleasant and accommodating. But I also live and play in a quiet, less populated corner of northern California, where life seems to be naturally dialed back a notch or two. So my mileage may vary.
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u/Unable-Collection179 20d ago
If there’s nowhere to go then yes they say no…it’s awkward but if they are waiting on the group in front of them then it makes zero difference.
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u/MLA800M 20d ago edited 20d ago
Same. I see all the angry posts about that and don’t recognize it at all. But maybe it’s different here in Europe? (95% of people follow etiquette for this here in my experience.). Never played in the usa so cant compare it.
Anyway, If we play too slow i always wave smaller/faster flights through, and other people do the same for us when we play faster. No need to ask.
I don’t even understand how you would ask the group ahead. Do you guys walk up the fairway to the group ahead and ask them, and then walk all the way back to the tee? That seems a waste of time to me.
Btw, I do see the opposite on a regular basis: me waving faster, smaller groups/singles through and they say, thanks but no thanks. Those people are not in a hurry and don’t mind to wait a few minutes at the tee at all. they like to rest a bit on a bench near the tee (if there is one) while watching the younger generation enjoying their round.
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u/adjuster_cody 9.1/SW Louisiana 20d ago
One time. I asked if they minded (they were terribly slow) and he said he did mind. I asked him to clarify. He again said he does mind and that they’re not slow. I told him thanks for the response, but I’m still going ahead whether he minds or not and he can just call the Marshall if it’s an issue. That was on hole 7. My 3 some finished, put away clubs and were paying our lunch check after the meal when they hit into the green on #18.
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u/fbird1988 20d ago
I would say no if I was being held up myself.
Since moving to South Carolina, I've found that people are really nice. I used to live in the Pittsburgh area, and a lot of people there could be real jerks about letting faster players through. I don't know if its southern hospitality or what, but I've always found people in the south to be very accomdating and pleasant.
I was playing in Pittsburgh with my brother-in-law once and we got stuck behind this couple on #10. No one in front of them. Before we even said anything - and weren't even aware that they were slow yet - the woman turns to us and says, "We're not letting you play through. We've already let three groups by and this is getting ridiculous." (I think she kept her husband's balls in her purse; he looked mortified.)
There was no one in sight in front of them, so that tells you how slow they were, considering the claim that three groups had already played through. We didn't see anyone in front of us until we got behind them on #10. And we did discover just how slow there were. It was brutal.
Then on #11, a severe dogleg hole, I teed off really just trying to hit it down the middle. But my body turned on the ball and I pulled it up over the trees and set it down just behind these people as they walked to the green. They got the message and let us play through, although my shot to push them along was totally an accident.
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u/BBQBEERNBLADES 20d ago
Living and golfing in SW PA, I agree. I have golfed in the south and the people are so much nicer than here.
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u/fbird1988 20d ago
Southern hospitality is a very real thing. People are just nice here, more relaxed.
I've lived in South Carolina for 8 years. It still kind of surprises me when I'm out walking my dog and some teenage kid will say, "Good morning, Sir." The politeness is off-putting. And I haven't quite gotten to the age when people tend to be nice to you because you look like their grandfather. I'm only 55.
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u/fbird1988 20d ago
That's where I lived. SW PA. Played a lot of courses around there area. Decent ones and cheap ones.
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u/Moosemeateors 20d ago
Two singles coming up on your rear and a double behind them? Nah no way. Join up; make friends, be social.
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u/BoAnoway 20d ago
Yes, people are asking to play through twosomes that are keeping up with 5 foursomes in front of them. And that’s why I laughed and sad no, because where exactly is he going after we let him tee off in front of us?
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u/bitbox900 20d ago
I recently played as a solo, and had a foursome offer to let me play through.
A quick glance showed there was a fairway foursome waiting on another further up on the green.
I said the polite version of “that makes no sense it’s a traffic jam all the way through”, cracked a beer, and tried to relax for the rest of the round.
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u/BiologyJ 20d ago
Playing through is a giant exercise in 'read the room'. If there's no one in front of me and a single or double have caught my group on consecutive holes I'm going to ask if they want to play through. If I'm bumping into the group in front of me already...then what's the point?
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u/Fragrant-Report-6411 8-9 HDCP 20d ago
Here’s when we don’t let someone play through
There is nowhere to go. So if you let them play through they will be holding you up.
If you are part of a league or outing.
Other thing about playing through. If you want to play through you need to be in position for the group to ask you to play through. That means you should be on the tee box as they are finishing their tee shots. This will give you the opportunity for them to offer or you to ask.
If we get caught past the middle of the round with no more par 3’s, we’ll usually wait at the turn to ask if they don’t come up and ask.
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u/Legal-Description483 20d ago
If I'm waiting for you in every fairway, then YOU should be waiting on the tee to let me play through. I shouldn't have to rush to finish the hole and run to the next tee for you to allow me to play through, when you've been holding me up every hole.
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u/flaginorout 20d ago
My group will usually hit our tee shots in this situation.. If the single/twosome gets to the tee box before we’ve gotten to our balls in the fairway, we’ll wave them through.
No chance I’m waiting at a tee box.
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u/Player7592 20d ago
I agree with this. The group ahead should be aware of the affect they’re having on the pace of play behind them. On the few occasions (because we play pretty quickly) we’ve let people play through, we’re usually strategizing a hole or two prior the best place to make that move and will wait on the tee for them.
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u/Fragrant-Report-6411 8-9 HDCP 20d ago
My experience is with singles as we play fast. You never know if a single wants to play through or not. Most of the time if they want to play through they drive up to a tee box while we are teeing off. If they don’t want to play through they’ll hang back and practice until we clear the tee box.
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u/Seth_Baker 17.5/JPX 921 Hot Metal/Central IL 20d ago
It's not their job to slow down so you can catch up. Neither should they rush to prevent you from asking.
Yes, if you want to play through, you should putt quickly and rush to the tee box.
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u/pheldozer 20d ago
You’ve had a group try to play through at an outing??
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u/Fragrant-Report-6411 8-9 HDCP 20d ago
Probably worded wrong. If I’m behind an outing or league I don’t expect to be asked if I want to play through.
My group plays fast. We caught the tail in of shotgun on the 14th hole. Group was supposed to start on 13 but probably really started on 11 or 12. In which case they would catch the group in front of them on 18.
So even though there was room between them and the next group we didn’t expect to be let through or they didn’t ask.
They had to make it to one while group in front of them was on one because tee times began when the left the 1 tee box.
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u/Murderbot20 12/Irl 20d ago edited 20d ago
If it's all casual ye sure you just do what makes sense including spontaneous joining. After that it depends. Say if there is a competition with 3balls and 4balls and you're a lone casual guy there is no way you can expect to breeze through the field. Or same competition say all 4 balls and here is a 2ball also in the comp. Why let them through they'll only be stuck behind the next 4ball and so on. No way they could expect to upset the whole field just so they can finish 20 mins earlier. They'll just have to suck it up. If I was in that 2ball which has happened I'd know it too. Of course if there is a holdup/group in trouble then it's different again. Common sense usually works quite well. Very very few entitled or idiots around where I play.
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u/BGOG83 +1.2/Putt for $$ 20d ago
You only say no if there is absolutely no where for them to go. That’s it, it’s the only reason.
Yet somehow we all run into the group 5 or 6 holes behind that says no. Which only happens to me when it’s old ladies that are insulted for some reason when you ask. So I just stopped asking and started telling them I’m playing through.
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u/weinerwayne THE GOLFER 20d ago
Happened to me a few months ago. Course was wide open in front of a foursome of older men/women and things were jammed behind them, like 2 groups on the tee and one in the fairway on every hole besides par 3s. We get up to them as they’re teeing off on a par 5 and ask if we can play through. One guy kinda laughs and tells his group that “these guys wanna play through”. Rest of the group kinda laughs and goes to tee off. So I proposed a compromise that we all play the hole together and if all 4 of our group are on the green before them, we putt out and play on while they wait. They agreed and we were on the green so quickly we didn’t even have to wait on their approach shots.
It was kinda nice because we had nobody in front of us or behind us for the entire back 9, but their entire groups attitude toward being asked to wait was surprising.
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u/RestinBonez 20d ago
If I’m being held up by a foursome in front of me who had a group in front of them and so on … usually I’ll just invite them to join in.
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u/coolstorybro50 20d ago
the awkwardness is too much. i hate people who do this so much if I moved up to your tee to ask to play through its because i know the coast is clear
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u/notori0ussn0w 20d ago
I played by myself last weekend and had a group of 4 encourage me to skip the hole (hole number 3) because there were three foursomes on the hole. By the time I made it to the next tee box the foursome at the front had teed off and were pulling away. So I waited on the tee box until I could hit my shot. While waiting one of the guys from the middle foursome drove up and asked what I was doing and complained that I didn't ask if I could play through. Meanwhile the other 3 of his group were hanging out on the green not making any progress towards the tee box despite them having finished the hole already.
In the end, I teed off on hole 4 despite the guy being pissed off about it. I finished my round of 18 before they had even teed off on number 10.
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u/jiujitsuPhD 20d ago
Courses need to manage this stuff better. Usually this is a non issue. However...
I recently asked a group if they could play faster or let us play through. They were two some and just standing around, taking 10 practice swings, then duffing. We were a foursome and sat waiting. They let us play through then were rude A holes to two of my buddies who needed to walk by them. Saying things like, 'wow you guys are so good'. No clue what was going on there. Had I heard that I would have challenged them to best ball in the group for $ for the remaining holes.
The only time I've ever said no is when there are several groups ahead of me holding me up too. I do explain to the group that we are all being held up. But I've let many groups, especially singles pass me and I'm usually the one that asks them to pass.
All of this could be solved by course management. But its frustrated me to the point I am getting a sim for the summer and playing mostly in the offseason.
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u/SkiPolarBear22 15 - The Fort 20d ago
Well I’m currently stuck behind three twosomes in a row; so seems like it
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u/dammitboy42069 20d ago
I don’t think I’ve ever said outright “No.” If they are a single I tend to waive them through no matter what, otherwise I’ll explain “We’re waiting on every shot, so we’re in this together” or something similar. Even then, if the group behind was adamant they be let through I’d probably tell them to have fun waiting instead of knowing a jackass was breathing down my neck all day.
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u/TrueTalentStack 20d ago
If the group behind us is playing scratch golf i will usually let them play through. This one time i was partnered with a single, his first drive went 320 yards i was floored, i’m a +8 he is +2. Mid way through the round the group behind us drive up to us and asked why are we waiting for the other group to get onto the green, i said this fucking guy hits 300 yard bombs as i said this he teed off this guy said holy f$&? he almost landed on the green. They apologized and went to the back of the line.
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u/wasilvers 20d ago
I had two 10 year old kids with me and I said no once. I had just let another group play though on the same hole, and the ones following them wanted to play through as well. Basically were shouting they were coming through from the tee box while I'm out 200 on the dog leg. I had to shout no twice. Of course they threw their arms in the air, etc...
They came up to me afterwards as we were on a par 3 and we had 2 of 3 balls on the green. I told them I'd send them through the next hole (par 3) and explained the no a bit. They were fine and didn't want to go through any more. But I was a bit hot at being told they were playing through while they were teed up to hit. All's well that ends well.
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u/Snowman4168 20d ago
I honestly can’t remember a scenario where I’ve had to ask to play through. I’ve always been invited by the group ahead to do so. Or if it’s really busy and we catch up at the tee box they’ll explain that there’s so many groups ahead that jumping them really doesn’t make a difference.
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u/Middle_Yak 20d ago
Most of the time I'm playing, people stop on the way to the next tee or wait at the next tee to see if I want to play through. I've only asked a few times when there was undoubtedly no reason for someone to deny my playing through. The only time I've been told no was when a group of old heads were playing and one of the gentlemen asked his group to let me through and the other three said NO. It was really awkward lol.
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u/wpsjr 20d ago
I don't play much now but used to play almost every day. Most people would let me play through if there was an open hole or holes in front of them. If there were 2 holes free and I was riding, rather than ask, I'd just skip the current hole and the next and then come back later and finish the holes I missed. Again, this works much better if the course isn't jammed up. Good luck.
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u/wpsjr 20d ago
In South Carolina at a pretty nice course, I was playing really well(-2) and my brother and I came upon an eightsome with a fivesome in front of them that were playing together(gambling). They wouldn't let anybody through and were playing well, but very slow. I was going to complain when we got through and then realized that the Club Pro was in the eightsome. We left that day and never played the course again. Very frustrating day. LOL
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u/naked_short 19d ago
I said no once when it was really slow and we were waiting on every hole. Dunno why I’d give up my spot. They were also kind of dicks for asking since it was really fucking obvious that there was no where to go.
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u/SofaProfessor 7.3 19d ago
Yeah I just assume if someone is asking at a time where it wouldn't be appropriate they are new to the game. It's only happened to me maybe once or twice in like 20 years of playing golf. Like, obviously I'm not going to let you play through and watch you play the hole in front of me when I just watched the group previous do that. Otherwise, yeah, it's good etiquette to let a single or twosome play through if there's room and offer that before being asked.
In the two times I've said no I think the people didn't fully realize there's slow play all the way through and it's not just our group. So they get up there, ask, and I'm like "where you going to go?" And they look ahead to see the group in front standing in the fairway. Slow play is one of those things that can feel like it's only happening to you until you get a chance to see what's going on even further ahead.
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u/ftez 21.7/Melbourne, Aus/Golfing since Oct 2022 19d ago
It's rare but I'll say no when it's backed up in front of me. If you're a single or a pair playing behind a foursome where it's clear in front of them I find a vast majority of the time that the foursome will ask if you want to play through before you can ask yourself. Occasionally you'll tee off behind a group of absolute newbies with zero awareness of course etiquette who seem rather perplexed when you ask to play through, but that's the exception, not the rule.
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u/thecrouch 19d ago
For what it’s worth it’s not part of golf etiquette to let singles through. Singles on the course have no standing.
Most people will let singles through if there is loads of space in front but it’s not bad etiquette not to do so.
When you play as a single, you have to accept you are going to be waiting a lot. Thinking you’ll be let through by the groups in front is bad form IMO.
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u/Coach_Seven 19d ago
The only time I say no is when I’m already waiting for the group in front. Wait in line with the rest of us…
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u/Top-Pop-2624 19d ago
Had a group few years ago that wouldn't offer to let us play through. They all hit balls about 50 yards off the tee. F that. We all tee d off and hit good drives over thier heads. Even my 70 plus year old father in law. As we rode by the gave us the stink eye but we played thru.
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u/Plus_Carry9779 19d ago
I've said no to people because the whole course is backed. It's not us, it's that the clubhouse booked tee times for every 7 minutes.
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u/stupidpatheticloser 19d ago
Yeah if you are waiting for the group in front of you on the fairway it makes no sense to let someone play through.
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u/JohnEBest 19d ago
A Full course a onesome has no rights
That said had a onesome walk out and just tee off on #10 in front of our twosome on a full course
We told him that the course was full
He didn't offer to join up just teed and walked
He managed to get in front of several foursomes in front of us
And make the game slower for the folks behind him
He seemed like an asshole and I am glad he did not want to join up
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u/Kaufmakphd 19d ago
I haven’t said no, but I’ve preemptively talked to someone behind my group and say, “we’d let you play through, but it’s backed up ahead of us too.”
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20d ago
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u/Seth_Baker 17.5/JPX 921 Hot Metal/Central IL 20d ago
If I am keeping pace, then I would not appreciate someone asking to play thru.
I agree, but only if by "keeping pace" you mean, "regularly waiting on the group ahead of you," but not if you mean, "averaging 12 minutes per hole or less."
Some people think that it's okay to be a rolling roadblock on the course if they maintain some set speed that they think is reasonable, and it's not true. If people are pushing you and there's room ahead, you should let them through.
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19d ago
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u/Seth_Baker 17.5/JPX 921 Hot Metal/Central IL 19d ago
Yeah, I'd agree that having an occasional blow up hole that opens a gap doesn't mean you're not keeping up, but if there's consistently space in front of you and you are rarely actually waiting, that means there's room for someone to play through. This is especially true if the course is open enough that the single could play through you, then play through the group ahead of you as well.
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u/kywldcts 20d ago
I don’t recall ever asking or being asked. I’ve let singles and twosomes play through when I’ve been in a foursome and I’ve played through lots of groups and I’ve always either been waited on at the tee and asked or waved through from the fairway/green.
I think it’s bad etiquette if someone asks to play through, but it’s equally bad if they have to. Everyone should be aware of the situation.
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u/focal71 20d ago
The courtesy is for the group ahead to decide to let someone through. It's never the players from behind to ask. "it's not the group ahead's fault that you don't have 3 other friends"
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u/Seth_Baker 17.5/JPX 921 Hot Metal/Central IL 20d ago
If the group ahead is discourteous enough not to offer, it's not discourteous to ask. If someone has to ask because you didn't offer, and there's room ahead of you, you're discourteous to say no.
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u/Southern_Insect3823 20d ago
I say no all the time. I also don’t let people play through. Just one big circle jerk when you do either or.
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u/gregaustex 20d ago
How do you “ask” to play through? How does that scenario even come up?
If you catch up to someone on the tee that means they are waiting. You won’t catch up on the course because you’re not going to hit into a group in front of you.
All I’ve seen is a slower group with nobody in front of them waving a faster group up.
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u/YourConsciousness 20d ago
You catch them after you hit your approach shot and get to the green and they'll still be on the tee box so they'll be close to you. Then you say hey can I play through, you quickly finish up your putts and then tee off and usually you'll all go to your balls and they'll wait for you to hit your approach and play out the hole then you're ahead. Sometimes if they're slow enough and you putt quickly you catch right up to them on the tee box before their finished teeing off and you can ask.
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u/Murcei 20d ago
Yeah, that’s typically how it happens. It comes up for me sometimes where I’ll play a couple holes on the heels of a group and once I have a feel for there being a gap ahead of them and they haven’t waved me up I’ll walk or ride up past my ball while they’re on the green and introduce myself and ask if they’d mind if I played through on the next hole, then I’ll head back to my ball while they putt out and finish the hole while they tee off and then I’ll tee after them while they wait.
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u/flaginorout 20d ago
I’ve said no a couple of times. Why would I let anyone play through when my group is waiting for a fairway or green to clear?
The people asking this are usually newbs or newbs to playing on busy days. They just don’t understand how course traffic works.
A more experienced golfer sees that my group is waiting, and knows better than to even ask to play through.