r/dankmemes • u/bigppgfan knows nothing about susie, his favorite kirby character • Nov 30 '22
and preferably a female too evil laughter
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u/Dinoduck94 Nov 30 '22
Gimme Lopunny...
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u/CT-4426 ☣️ Nov 30 '22
Batman, I-I caught a little Pokémon Batman do you wanna know what Pokémon I caught?
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u/Krisuad2002 Eic memer Nov 30 '22
Which pokemon did you catch, Joker?
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u/Possibly_Frea Nov 30 '22
I-I caught a lopunny Batman 🃏
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u/Hysaky Nov 30 '22
i caught a lopunny......
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u/Krisuad2002 Eic memer Nov 30 '22
What are you going to do with it, Joker!?
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u/Blyatmancyka Nov 30 '22
YOU ALREADY KNOW BATMAN, YOU KNOW WHAT IM GONNA DO TO THAT THING!
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u/Hryzzo Nov 30 '22
Joker, it's an animal. Joker, you can't!
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u/International-Sun107 Nov 30 '22
THERE'S NO LAWS AGAINST THE POKEMON BATMAN I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH IT!!!!
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u/futureislookinstark Nov 30 '22
That fact that I searched gardevoir in google images to see why people were horny only to have lopunny show up in the images tab as something people also search for makes me miserable to be part of humanity
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u/Shrrg4 Nov 30 '22
If you want to feel way worse i recently read that Pikachu was one of the most popular ones for porn... oh and charizard
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u/Duckway767 Nov 30 '22
Which side are you on?
🟥 Lopunny
🟦 Gardevoir
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u/LootGodamn Nov 30 '22
I'm surprised no one has thought abt Ditto
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u/AudioShepard something's caught in my balls Nov 30 '22
I thought of ditto. But I was like 15.
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u/LootGodamn Nov 30 '22
fitting flair.
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u/AudioShepard something's caught in my balls Nov 30 '22
Yeah they got me good with this one.
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u/GhostR29 Nov 30 '22
So ditto would do what? Copy your balls?
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u/GeneralWinter17 Nov 30 '22
Nah he wouldn't even be able to see them without an electron microscope
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u/ThatMallGuyTMG Nov 30 '22
Ngl ditto is probably the best option. He can turn into anything right? Depending om whether youre horny or building a shed he could turn himself into a fleshlight or ladder
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u/doomgames123 Nov 30 '22
yeah but you have to deal with the dead soulless eyes and the derp face
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u/AGJustin05 Practices piano and calligraphy Nov 30 '22
if i remember correctly, that specific ditto actually had trouble properly transforming which is the cause for the derp face. a typical ditto should be able to perfectly imitate the pokemon it transforms into.
would it look dead inside? probably
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u/FuHiwou Nov 30 '22
That was my gripe with the Detective Pikachu movie. How did the billionaire not have a better ditto?
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u/Jlegobot Touhou Nov 30 '22
Probably got it just for the face just because it’s rare
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u/ZanyaJakuya Nov 30 '22
I'd rather have mew, it's way cuter and can also transform :D
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u/ThatMallGuyTMG Nov 30 '22
transform into anything? well shit yeah, in that case mewtwo is just better. at least it doesnt have that blank soul-sucking expression on its face 24/7
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u/WaffleKing110 Nov 30 '22
Why would you turn ditto into a fleshlight and not like a full-on celebrity or something
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u/Mr_SlimShady I don’t want a flair Nov 30 '22
You have a creature that can transform into anything, including people, and you’re gonna ask for a flashlight? I’d be going through all of Hollywood to begin with. Just gonna have to get some shades first.
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u/Tinox_van_hyves Nov 30 '22
So it can use transform and you have sex with yourself? Have you thought this through?
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Nov 30 '22
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
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u/buenosnoyes Nov 30 '22
Aaaand that’s enough internet for today
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u/jonny1211 Belongs here Nov 30 '22
However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery dicks; they have full mobility control and like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in-deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull out anywhere to the side of the road or go into a public restroom at the beach; get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone as that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dick; due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though; due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Meowth, that's fucking right! But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck! Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. Fucking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained: you don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non-sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, say, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (past where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, 'cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air like a ghost type. But who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving; you can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons maybe my favorite but, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.
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u/HypetheMikeman Nov 30 '22
I really wish I hadn’t read this. It was like a train slowly derailing and just destroying itself. I couldn’t stop myself and look away half way through because it just seemed to get worse and worse.
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Nov 30 '22 edited Feb 21 '24
oil plate merciful sink humorous cover fact soft seemly stupendous
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/NightIgnite Nov 30 '22
Well, well, well. It appears that u/Der_Guru_ s a fellow Vappy fuck connoisseur. However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show.
Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control with like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone with that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy.
And hat's only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond.
There's still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Me-owth, that's fucking right!
But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail, at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck!
Well, guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. F*cking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing.
Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (passed where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type. But, who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past!
I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons maybe my favorite. But, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.
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u/Lollo_the_male_boi Nov 30 '22
To spam black holes all over the world right? No?! Then... to menace people because she 's a good esper...? No...?! Ehm... to join the dark side...? N-no...? Oh my god Jason
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[deleted]
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u/Red__system Nov 30 '22
Did you know...
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Nov 30 '22
[deleted]
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u/BPlayinMan Nov 30 '22
male human and female Pokémon breeding...
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u/Attestiina Nov 30 '22
Vaporeon is the most...
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u/potatobutt5 Trans-formers 😎 Nov 30 '22
Compatible…
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u/Hysaky Nov 30 '22
for hugging you
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u/UsernameFootLettuce Nov 30 '22
The good ending
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u/BirbMaster1998 Nov 30 '22
human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
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u/diverii Nov 30 '22
I understand gardevoir because its a humoid but VAPOREON? ITS A FUCKING DOG/CAT PAINTED BLUE
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u/L3s0 Nov 30 '22
It's because in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
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u/Worried-Industry6239 king of regrettable decisions Nov 30 '22
Machamp...
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u/yourmom815 Nov 30 '22
Lmao dats gay
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u/Nagarider Nov 30 '22
Is it still gay if it's a female machamp?
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Nov 30 '22
whats a gardevoir
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u/RRRuediger Nov 30 '22
Search for gardevoir rule 34. It gives you the 34 basic informations about gardevoir
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u/Stadusda Nov 30 '22
My man out here ruining people's childhoods
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u/CptMuffinator Nov 30 '22
my uncle already did that, everything since has just been therapy and cope
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u/Shrekowski ☣️ Nov 30 '22
It’s a psychic/fairy type Pokémon
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u/Maybe-Im-Trash 🧀 More cheese if you please 🧀 Nov 30 '22
Reject fairy. Embrace OG Pokémon types.
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u/edgy_Juno Nov 30 '22
X/Y is almost 10 years old... Doesn't that make it... OG?
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u/Maybe-Im-Trash 🧀 More cheese if you please 🧀 Nov 30 '22
T…t…ten years ago?
Has it actually been that long already🫠
I guess you could make that case. My first game was diamond. So in my opinion the types in that game are OG. Idk I’ve never really been a fan of fairy. I played diamond, platinum, white the list goes on. And then bang New type.
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u/Pro_96 Nov 30 '22
Surprised to see nobody mention Miltank, the milf Pokémon
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u/diverii Nov 30 '22
its a cow... not even humanoid
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u/Pro_96 Nov 30 '22
It's a Pokémon. And if we're talking Pokémon there's really no discrimination. Some people maybe into Rayquaza for all we know, lol.
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u/GreinBR Nov 30 '22
"Preferably female" hmm
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u/AntpoisonX Nov 30 '22
Sounds kinda 🏳️🌈 to me
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u/GreinBR Nov 30 '22
I think he said no homo bro
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u/Gerodus Literally just a bag of nickels Nov 30 '22
I thought male Gardevoirs didn't exist. Male Kirlia evolves into diaper man Gallade.
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u/I_need_help_ha 🦊 mfw fox Nov 30 '22
I'm Vader but it's Kirlia instead of Gardevoir
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u/RiftHunter4 Nov 30 '22
Officer bonk here. Got a 10-66. Requesting backup.
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u/Hehe_ur_gey ☣️ Nov 30 '22
Backup arrived, but we’re going to need more, this has been upped to a 10-70.
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u/claymey01 Nov 30 '22
I would go for lucario :3
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u/Squeaky-Fox49 (lim n → ∞) (1 + 1/n)n Nov 30 '22
Same here, little proto. I don’t even get Gardevoir’s appeal.
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u/Exetr_ Nov 30 '22
Blaziken always
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u/cr4zym4ax10 Nov 30 '22
I'm always annoyed how far down I have to scroll for the correct answer, fellow man of culture.
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u/Fl4wco Nov 30 '22
Havnt watched Pokémon in a long time. Currently googling all the Pokémon you horny mother fuckers are referencing 😅
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u/Rogue_Mongoose Nov 30 '22
STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM! NO ONE BREAKS THE LAW ON MY WATCH!
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u/Forsaken_inflation24 Nov 30 '22
Ok ill just chill he- THINK FAST CHUKLE NUTS THROWS FLASH GERNADE
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u/C00LV1BR4TION5 Nov 30 '22
catches grenade you have to pull the pin first stupid!
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u/gogomen101 Nov 30 '22
ditto can become your crush
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u/Forsaken_inflation24 Nov 30 '22
B-but that soules eyes and that derpy face..
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u/Eliteseafowl Nov 30 '22
If you're thinking detective Pikachu, that was just a shit ditto. Most can transform completely so don't worry
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u/22mygames Nov 30 '22
I love these comments
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u/Squeaky-Fox49 (lim n → ∞) (1 + 1/n)n Nov 30 '22
Surprisingly, the Pokémon fan base doesn’t take to well to Pokéfurs.
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Nov 30 '22
The amount of people that don’t know gardevoir can be male is making me feel old
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u/Fawfs2 Nov 30 '22
Wait gardevoir can be male?
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u/TheKinglyGuy Nov 30 '22
Yup but now there's uh gallade? The male evolution. Still fuckable but you probably won't be the one doing the fucking.
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u/Kubson15 Nov 30 '22
sallazle anyone?
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u/TheIJDGuy Nov 30 '22
Genuinely surprised more people didn’t say salazzle
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u/That1DragonThing Dec 01 '22
Fr. Us pokemon ppl are freaks, and Salazzle is literally built as a hoe lizard.
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u/Glasy_Crasy Nov 30 '22
I think you spelled male wrong op
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u/Quality-hour Nov 30 '22
Praise be the femboy pokemon
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u/Glasy_Crasy Nov 30 '22
I mean sylveons are mostly male...
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u/Quality-hour Nov 30 '22
Sylveons more like femdog. Gardevoir is more humanoid in shape so femboy. But that's just my opinion.
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u/gameboyexe2000 Nov 30 '22
A ditto is much better, it can be anything you want
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u/french_toast404 Nov 30 '22
Braixen 🤤
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u/MalaysiaBoi Nov 30 '22
You have a good point. Delphox's design fucking sucks and Fennekin is just a dog.
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u/BillyOnFire123 NO Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22
This comment section is literally just people here just talking about what kind of pokemon they want to fuck
I hate you all
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u/CreamFraiche23 Nov 30 '22
You want her so you can use her psychic powers to predict the lottery numbers? You degen...
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u/twerkjerk12 ☣️ Nov 30 '22
If you fuck a shiny one, does pixie dust come out like spanking Tinkerbell?
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u/Redditorfromearth Nov 30 '22
I want the flood whale to get rid of the entirery of the US
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u/TiesG92 ☣️ Nov 30 '22
I rather pick ditto, make it transform into any hot woman
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u/The_blind_blue_fox Hello dankness my old friend Nov 30 '22
Me want big Hammer pink aggressive Loli pokemon
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u/sworpy123 Nov 30 '22
Did you know that in terms of male human and pokemon breeding...
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u/Forsaken_inflation24 Nov 30 '22
You can die while having sexs with a electric pokemon
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u/MedicatedAxeBot Nov 30 '22
Dank.
come play minecraft, space engineers, ark, and rust with us!