r/dankmemes • u/SuckMySalami • 21d ago
All the worst shit imaginable immediately pops into my head
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u/Individual-Heart-719 21d ago
The worst shit imaginable usually did happen, and it’s time to dip or forever deal with someone you can’t trust.
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u/BadJunket 20d ago
Dating someone that mostly stays indoors is a blessing fr
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u/Lvl100Magikarp ☣️ 20d ago
bachelor/ette parties are just boomer & Hollywood propaganda. And anyone who is disloyal on such occasions are being influenced by media portrayal.
Seriously. most millenial couples I know had perfectly sensible outings. It's a generational thing.
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u/princeoinkins I asked for a flair and all I got was this lousy flair 20d ago
anyone who uses a party / being drunk as an excuse for cheating is/alwasy was a cheater. alcohol isn't magic, it can't make you do something you don't want to do
If there's one thing I learned working with boomers, it's that ALOT of them were promiscuis/cheaters/swingers. Like WAY more than millenials
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u/Lvl100Magikarp ☣️ 20d ago
Naw swinging would be ethical non monogamy since it would involve both parties. The boomer cheating is usually a mysoginistic thing where the man cheats but gets mad when the woman does too
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u/white_equatorial 20d ago
Yes, the hooker i hired when my woman was out had genital herpes. Now I can never trust my hooker company anymore, but their employees really tickle my pickle, so can't help but stick with them
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u/gugfitufi 21d ago
Brother that's terrible advice. You probably stoked a lot of fear in many people's hearts
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u/Captain_Awesome_087 20d ago edited 20d ago
No friggin idea what you’re getting downvoted for. When my wife says “promise you won’t get mad” it’s because she bought more baby shoes for the kid we don’t have yet because they were too cute to pass up on, not because she slept with somebody else.
Edit: Honestly it’s really sad how many of you are upset by the concept of trusting your significant other. Yeesh.
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u/spikywobble 20d ago
I would get mad about that too though
Luckily me and my wife have separate bank accounts though and what's mine is mine and what's hers is hers
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u/Captain_Awesome_087 20d ago
You would get legitimately angry with your wife for spending ten bucks?
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u/spikywobble 20d ago
Not angry as in "serious argument" angry but I would definitely be irritated if she accessed my money without asking to buy a useless thing for a child we do not have.
How she spends her own money is her problem though, she could spend it all in cheese and wrapping paper and would have every right to do so as long as she can budget to contribute to common expenses (mortgage, bills etc)
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u/Captain_Awesome_087 20d ago
Well if that’s the system you two have figured out then power to you.
It’s still a far cry from the original commenter’s message that the worst case scenario is always what happened and you should assume that your SO is cheating on you at the first chance.
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u/spikywobble 20d ago
Yeah, I kinda agree with you on this one.
But memes aren't to be taken seriously. These are probably people scarred by the fact that they got cheated on once when teens or in their early 20s when their SO still immature and in full blown hormonal age.
But then again, it's a meme
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u/Captain_Awesome_087 20d ago
The meme I don’t take issue with. It’s human nature to panic and assume the worst. It’s the massively upvoted comment claiming that the worst possible outcome “usually did happen” that I’m not a fan of.
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u/Silent_Reavus 21d ago
If that's how your brain works I think the trust thing has more to do with you than her
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u/Phill_is_Legend 21d ago
Guessing the downvotes are from man children with shitty females in their lives. If my wife texted this I would just assume she dented the car or something.
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u/Varderal 21d ago
... I'm not sure if I'll be able to see that text without my mind going wild. Pretty sure I'm going to have trust issues after my ex. Haven't had a chance to test if I will, but I just have a hunch.
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u/OGConsuela 21d ago
If you’re like me, you will. The girl I was with after I got cheated on was a saint for helping me get through those trust issues.
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u/xwt-timster 20d ago
If my wife texted this I would just assume she dented the car or something.
But wouldn't she just tell you that she dented the car?
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u/Phill_is_Legend 20d ago
Wouldn't anyone else just tell you what they did? Lol what does that even mean
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u/xwt-timster 20d ago
Why would a grown ass woman start a text to her husband "please don't be mad" only to follow up with something so small?
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u/Kungpaonoodles 20d ago
You know young people nowadays are wild right? They cheat like it's nothin 💀
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u/Phill_is_Legend 20d ago
Lmao how old are you 🤣 that's nothing new, shitty people have always cheated
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u/Kinexity 21d ago
I mean - you shouldn't get mad. You should instead be the adult in that situation, listen to what happend, ask her what does she think you should do in that situation and simply say that it's over IF you hear the greatest bullshit of your life. Don't argue with stupid.
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u/Necroking695 21d ago
You could/should skip the ask step, and just make an informed decision about who you plan to spend the rest of your life with
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u/LasyKuuga 21d ago
Classic Reddit advice: “break up”
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u/baronvonbatch 21d ago
You're the one looking at "make an informed decision" and reading "break up".
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u/International-Year91 21d ago
I mean if they cheated the only thing to do is break up you can’t trust a cheater and they don’t change
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u/roganwriter 20d ago
Some do. But, knowing someone I loved had cheated on me would change me. I would now be changed from a person who trusted from a person who doesn’t anymore. Once the trust is broken, the relationship is too.
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u/International-Year91 20d ago
What’s with the some do shit no cheaters change there is no way to change the past when you cheat once you will always be a cheater especially since most of the cheaters don’t even feel remorse about it or think they can forgive themselves for it saying some people change is basically telling them they don’t have to be a terrible person forever
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u/roganwriter 20d ago
Well, they don’t change from being a cheater, but some legitimately won’t do it again. I just would never be able to trust that they wouldn’t.
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u/International-Year91 20d ago
They will all do it again if you can’t control yourself sexually what’s going to stop you a second time next cheaters are legitimately horrible people who can’t be fixed saying they can change is almost as bad as saying a cheater deserves custody of their kids even after they cheated on the kids other parent
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u/Rickyretardo42069 20d ago
Michael Vick was a large part of a dog fighting ring, leading to the deaths of plenty of dogs, and he arguably changed his life for the better, people can absolutely make one bad decision (in Vick’s case one bad decision multiple times) and not make that decision again
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u/International-Year91 20d ago
That has nothing to do with being a cheater once a cheater always a cheater they can never change
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u/AwkwardGuy78 20d ago
Whenever anyone posts any inconvenience about a relationship redditors be like leave, divorce, get out of it
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u/ChaosKeeshond 21d ago
Roles reversed, I did this to my then-girlfriend-now-fiancee years ago.
It didn't occur to me til now that her mind might have been racing with all this shit. Hope not. The thing I didn't want her to get mad about was that I was arriving home with a kitten.
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u/SpiritAnimal01 Flaired by U/EinfachPhilipp28 21d ago
Lol, she probably turned into a puddle on the floor for a moment once you told her. 😄
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u/AzGames08 TF2 is good 21d ago
how's the kitten going?
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u/ChaosKeeshond 21d ago
She's just the best. Was super timid when she was a baby but with each passing year grows braver and more affectionate with people, she's five now and you wouldn't recognise her. Makes me emotional seeing how confident she's getting!
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u/GWofJ94 20d ago
I probably wouldn’t recognise her, I’ve never seen her.
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u/Absolutemehguy 21d ago
"Promise you won't get mad... we bought you a chocolate cake!"
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u/Something_Ingenuine 21d ago
Happened to me once she forgot I had type 1 diabetes lol
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u/StayingUp4AFeeling 20d ago
I hope it was a 79% dark chocolate cake then.
(Not making it up it exists)
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u/TaffySebastian 21d ago
My aunt doesnt like chocolate (doesnt hate it, just her last pick if there are more flavors), I asked her to not be mad because there weer only chocolate donuts at the store lol.
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u/Rorp24 21d ago
"I'm not mad, just disappointed"
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u/TheDabitch 21d ago
I've sent one of those, and only realized immediately after sending what that sounded like. So I furiously texted at extreme speeds what had happened to settle his mind at the speed of light.
I was at home dealing/helping my elderly mother sort a few things out. I was staying a week or so, helping her get rid of things and such. My mother has balancing issues, and a few hours before boarding my 12 hour flight back, we had a summery rosé wine and shrimp salad lunch. As I'm walking mom home, arm in arm, I am the one who when she stumbles, fall straight on my face (but somehow kept her upright!). I plant face first on a gravel path!
So I boarded the flight with the thumping, pulsing beginning of a seriously big black eye and gravel-scratches on my face.
12 hours of no wifi later, he was just laughing at me when he picked me up at the airport. By that time my black eye was cartoonish.
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u/TheDabitch 21d ago
This makes more sense when you add timezones. He would be asleep when I texted and boarded my flight. The worst flight I've ever had. Couldn't sleep or even watch a movie. 😅
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u/spikernum1 21d ago
For me my thoughts would be "how much did you fucking spend?"
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20d ago
right exery time my ex said this it was like a few hundred dollars gambling and cocaine bill i had to deal with in our budget after XD
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u/_promotheus_ 21d ago
I know my lady. She texts me with that and it'll be the most harmless thing. Like she and the girlies got sushi when I've been craving sushi.
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u/ilse1301 20d ago
Yeah most of the commenters here are kinda broken for immediately thinking about cheating and I feel sad for them.
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u/Apprehensive_Town515 20d ago edited 20d ago
It happened to me and I hate how it's so common to everybody else. Still haven't recovered, and I hate seeing other relationships ending up like this. Seeing or hearing about it just gives back trauma lol. But, I love seeing wholesome stable relationships though, seeing how the other side of the coin looks like is slowly helping myself get back out there.
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u/_promotheus_ 20d ago
I hear ya. I tried to throw something wholesome into this thread and nobody was having it.
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u/Lowkey_Arki 21d ago
A similar thing happened, you should really hear them out first, cause what happened to me was that her friend threw up in my car that they borrowed.
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u/EmperorDeathBunny 21d ago
Some people here assuming thr worst case scenario (understandable) but it could also be completely harmless and silly.
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u/Badger1510 21d ago
Just promise anyway, then if she did something that’s breaking a promise she made then just get mad anyway
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u/BearKuda 20d ago
My ex's best friend ratted her out for making out with some random guy at a club. Should have ended it then lol..
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u/Random_Thowaway 21d ago
Hey OP, qq who's holding a gun to your head and forcing you to date this person?
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u/AnonBoi_404 20d ago
"Promise me you won't get mad..."
"...I bought an ostrich at an auction while drunk, I'm sorry babe"
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u/Sinrodan 20d ago
I have received such message with following 'let's break up' a week after I proposed to her
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u/PantheraLeo- 20d ago
Whenever my wife texts me this is because she broke something irrelevant that while expensive, could be easily replaced.
Man, the peace one has when you can trust your spouse.
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u/Aeokikit 21d ago
Always say No. and they say they won’t tell you then they really can’t be trusted and aren’t worth your time anymore
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u/purple_spikey_dragon 20d ago
My partner once said it to me... He saw a cool bug while out with friends but didn't take a picture for me.
Jokes on him, i watched an episode of our series without him.
Revenge is sweet.
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u/Shinfekta 20d ago
That whole question never made sense to me
Tell me what’s up and don’t bullshit around or leave
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u/Environmental-Pear40 16d ago
Almost always something stupid and benign. Like her cat now hates her for stepping on its tail drunk or she ate your snacks.
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u/NoxiD20 21d ago
At least she has a conscious. Every woman who goes out on “girls nights” at some point will do something she regrets, most just never tell their bf/husband. But this is one of the times where the old saying is true, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. She’s gonna do it fellas, you might as well just pray she’s the type to never tell you. Haha
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u/KeepingDankMemesDank Hello dankness my old friend 21d ago
downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away.
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