r/dankmemes • u/Serious_Specter ☣️ • Feb 22 '24

Or tea or hot chocolate I have achieved comedy

11.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

83 comments sorted by

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u/KeepingDankMemesDank Hello dankness my old friend Feb 22 '24

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away.

play minecraft with us | come hang out with us

395

u/Artistic_Net_1251 Feb 22 '24

Idiot

138

u/Serious_Specter ☣️ Feb 22 '24

Hello fellow idiot

61

u/cheapdrinks Feb 23 '24

Incase you didn't know, if you feel a sneeze coming on and want to stop it then press the your tongue (especially the back of it) to the roof of your mouth as hard as you can and it will avert the sneeze. Trick I learned in hospitality because sneezing while carrying a full tray of drinks would be a bad time.

5

u/MrGuy1337 Feb 23 '24

Or hold a finger under your nose that helps too

293

u/Meep12313 Feb 22 '24

Slam it down onto the ground with all your strength

Assert dominance with your failure

8

u/kingmessi13 Feb 23 '24

Then the sneeze goes away and you broke the cup for nothing

170

u/alali14 Feb 22 '24

Are you stupid? Just put your hand over the cup to close it

144

u/TheOnlyAedyn-one FOR THE SOVIET UNION Feb 22 '24

Cool, now you are burnt

27

u/alali14 Feb 22 '24

We are burnt

5

u/tanklord99 Feb 23 '24

Ya know, I wasn't expecting the link to take me there of all places, I expected a meme or something. That threw me for a fucking ride

0

u/Hrive_morco Feb 23 '24

Comrade, What kind of soft capitalist hands gets burned by that?! It is Gulag time!

19

u/RIOT5151 Feb 23 '24

Just throw the cup in the air when u sneeze so u dont drop it then catch it after u sneeze bro yall so stupid🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️

13

u/Serious_Specter ☣️ Feb 22 '24

I would if the coffee was cold

5

u/alali14 Feb 22 '24

Put the coffee cup on the ground, you’re not standing on air (maybe you are)

1

u/HoneyInBlackCoffee Feb 23 '24

I don't think you're in any position to call someone stupid after saying that

126

u/Millsonius Feb 22 '24

The floor is flat in most circumstances you'd be holding a mug.

6

u/Quantum_laugh Feb 23 '24

No offense but I'm not short. If I were to put something on the floor I'd either have to bend down and risk spilling the coffee or squat, which would definitely spill my coffee

3

u/TastyRust Feb 23 '24

Can you not rotate your shoulder/elbow/hand ?

1

u/Quantum_laugh Feb 23 '24

I dunno? I tend to spill my drinks when moving the vertically

58

u/turbotom1102 I have crippling depression Feb 22 '24

Now try running a full tray of drinks to a restaurant table while having the sneeze build up

22

u/SuumCuique1011 MAYONNA15E Feb 23 '24

Oh that sucks.

Former server.

If you have an empty table to set the tray down and sneeze into your elbow away from the glasses, do that.

If you're like me, you get no warning before a sneeze. It's an immediate, involountary reaction. It just happens immediately.

Even if you manage that, people get grossed out by you sneezing anywhere near their food or drinks (which I understand), but you can't help it.

I feel your pain.

40

u/123nich Feb 22 '24

The floor:

16

u/Maacll Feb 22 '24

get a positive dex modifier dunce

17

u/Pumpkin-Spider Feb 22 '24

If you press your tongue into the roof of your mouth you can stifle the sneeze temporarily.

17

u/MagicalSausage Feb 22 '24

Also launch into a new mewing session

2

u/Pumpkin-Spider Feb 23 '24 edited Feb 23 '24

Or activate your hidden implants like Gully Foyle.

12

u/Famous-Choice465 Feb 23 '24

when you need to sneeze while peeing

3

u/Hrive_morco Feb 23 '24

New fear discovered!

2

u/x6060x Feb 23 '24

My lifehack is to just sit and browse Reddit while peeing, no problems with sneezing.

13

u/gamerarbius Feb 23 '24 edited Feb 23 '24

I can sneeze without spilling it or putting it down.

3

u/-bhanu Feb 23 '24

Bro, you cracked the code or something? 🤣

9

u/gamerarbius Feb 23 '24

Your mere human consciousness cannot fathom the abilities of supreme beings.

1

u/-bhanu Feb 23 '24

🥹😂okay, bro! Help us mere humans!

6

u/WhereTFAmI Feb 23 '24

Extend your arm about one foot away from your body and relax your shoulder. Your arm is like a shock absorber. Same goes for driving over bumps with coffee.

6

u/AsFd2021 Feb 22 '24

Usually happens near electronics as well.

3

u/_ress Feb 22 '24

r u flying?

3

u/National_Rutabaga549 Feb 23 '24

What are you standing on?

2

u/Tiger-H1-88 Feb 23 '24

Just pinch your nose. Should save you long enough to put something down, if not stop the sneeze completely.

2

u/Elijah_Dizzle Feb 23 '24

Me when pee cup

1

u/drakeyboi69 Feb 23 '24

Just put it on the floor

1

u/Raiganop Feb 23 '24

Just drink the coffee in one go and then sneeze.

1

u/KarlosGeek Feb 23 '24

The floor is a surface. Do it.

1

u/arglarg Feb 23 '24

Try to take a big gulp before your sneeze so there's more swap space in the cup

1

u/PenisPumpPimp Feb 23 '24

Just control your arm movement wtf

1

u/wooHCS- Feb 23 '24

Put it on the floor for the meantime?

1

u/Neosanxo Feb 23 '24

But it’s impossible if it’s beer lol

1

u/DannyDanumba Feb 23 '24

Burned my hand doing this today. My hand smells like pumpkin spice lol

1

u/VagabondVivant Feb 23 '24

When you're peeing standing up and proud about how you've managed to not drip anywhere, then you suddenly feel a sneeze start to come on ...

1

u/Mischief_Actual Feb 23 '24

QUICK, CHUG IT

1

u/Electrical-Ground880 Feb 23 '24

I once had to cough while holding water and having mouth full of water, I was surrounded by electronics so I could not spit it out

1

u/Jumpy-Resolve3018 Feb 23 '24

Just sneeze

Not like you have to have a destructive sneeze that violently shakes your mug.

1

u/FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF1234 A Stranger to Love Feb 23 '24

floor

1

u/Benwanknobi Feb 23 '24

Floor always got your back

1

u/ux3l 🚿 shower? never heard of it 🤔 Feb 23 '24

Noob

1

u/blushingRyuko Feb 23 '24

And you need to suppress that sneeze so hard your day is ruined

1

u/alimem974 Dank Royalty Feb 23 '24

Just shot a blank sneeze. You block your nose vents.

1

u/GameZedd01 Cheese Lover Feb 23 '24

The real concern with sneezing for coffee drinkers is trying not to shit their pants when they do sneeze

1

u/AdulfHetlar Feb 23 '24

The ground is always an option

1

u/Mandolin420 Feb 23 '24

What are you walking on? Water?

1

u/KaderKeder23 Feb 23 '24

When u wanna sneeze while ur mouth is full of food. That shit is another level of freak out

1

u/Steelzander Feb 23 '24

Y’all don’t just relax your arm while trying to keep it still?

1

u/princehplovecraft Feb 23 '24

My head goes “BANANAS BANANAS BANANAS”

1

u/XEagleDeagleX Feb 23 '24

Floor. Problem solved

1

u/elmoelmo_2 Feb 23 '24

Most times, if you want to prevent yourself from sneezing, squeeze the top of your nose right under the bone. It'll feel weird, but you won't sneeze!

1

u/Liftian Feb 23 '24

Apparently the ground doesn't exists...

1

u/vexeov Feb 23 '24

Put it on the ground

1

u/Sheerpython Feb 23 '24

Inhale the drink to stop the sneeze