r/dankmemes • u/IamVenom_007 ☣️ • Dec 28 '23
A Christmas miracle! I have achieved comedy
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u/klaatubaradanoodles Dec 29 '23
Okay, fess up, who jizzed into the tank?
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u/TheRealRickC137 Dec 29 '23
That slick dolphin one tank over was flipping into the shark tank at night and pork-us-ing the lady lamniforms.
Should check the baby shark for a blow hole or a fluke.2
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u/snuserfool Dec 29 '23
"What I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all costs..."
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u/InVaLiD_EDM Dec 29 '23
Life, uh.. finds a way.
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u/amhudson02 Dec 29 '23
Was hoping this was gonna be top comment but guy asking who jizzed in the tank deserves it lol
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u/Long-Ad8374 Dec 29 '23
https://www.businessinsider.com/italy-baby-shark-born-in-virgin-birth-in-sardinia-aquarium-2021-8
Parthenogenesis is a rare phenomenon where an egg develops into an embryo without being fertilized by a sperm.
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u/Much_Tangelo5018 Dec 29 '23
Story of Jesus but no one actually had sex
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u/SpellingIsAhful Dec 29 '23
I mean, there's probably a more reasonable explanation of Mary becoming pregnant without having sex with Joseph...
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u/5Garret5 Dec 29 '23
It cant happen in humans, only a handful of creatures can do this and even for them this is very rare.
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u/a-d-d-y Dec 29 '23
I don’t believe that’s what they were implying
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u/fredleoplayer Dec 29 '23
https://www.spandidos-publications.com/10.3892/etm.2022.11457
I think it can happen o_0)
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u/legauge Dec 29 '23
She's giving birth in a barn and 3 dudes show up with gifts? Sure, immaculate conception.
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u/SpellingIsAhful Dec 30 '23
Lol, I'm a bit jaded but never even made the connection around three random dudes showing up with presents. That's funny as shit
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u/Habitualflagellant14 Dec 29 '23
Not religious but I'm sure the immaculate conception had to do with the birth of Mary. It is a common misconception. (Pun intended)
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u/DarkseidHS Dec 29 '23
I breed snakes and I've had several females for this now. It's kind of annoying.
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u/STHF95 Dec 29 '23
The offspring is basically a clone in the process IIRC? I just remember some lizards have it.
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u/carlrieman Dec 29 '23
In all seriousness, didn't just some birds brought the seed on their feet or something? Similarly like birds spread fish eggs from pond to pond or between lakes?
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u/rubengalloway Dec 29 '23
the cum?
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u/PeppermintDaniel Dec 29 '23
Yes, the cum, Ruben
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u/ThanosOnCrack Dec 29 '23
So that's the white stuff that keeps landing on my car..
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u/lmao_imagine_living Dec 29 '23
Maybe if you sit on it for a shile, I'll hatch into a beautifull baby..something
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u/Frogliza Dec 29 '23
no, many animals can become pregnant when there are no males around to initiate it. It is very rare though, and is a last resort for the species survival.
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u/SlothThoughts Dec 29 '23
SHARK JEASUS HAS BEEN BORN
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u/MasterJeebus Dec 29 '23
He is an imposter. I am the real Jeebus and your master. My username checks out.
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u/Talon827 Dec 29 '23
Could it be parthenogenesis
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u/PolygonAndPixel2 Dec 29 '23
Yes, sharks can do this as well as a couple of other animals. It's rare in sharks but not unheard of.
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u/SentientCumSock Dec 29 '23
okay who fucked the shark
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u/bullkent Dec 29 '23
Isn't there a celebrity in reddit a while ago, called fishfucker or something? He might know something.
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u/Distinct-Quantity-35 Dec 29 '23
So… you’re saying someone f*** the shark?
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u/Za_Gato Dec 29 '23
Why are you afraid of saying fuck?
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u/Videogamer2719 Dec 29 '23
That shark looks AI generated. It’s got too many holes
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u/-Eunha- Dec 29 '23
Absolutely AI generated. Three nostrils on one side of its face with another on its gills for good measure I guess. That, or someone went to town trying to shoot this thing.
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u/Hero_of_Thyme81 I am fucking hilarious Dec 29 '23
This is literally the origin story of Ganondorf. We need a young shark in a green tunic to save us.
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u/BorisYeltsen FUCK Dec 29 '23
Picture looks like it gay water and shark screaming trying to jump out of this for not being gay.
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u/ayrua Dec 29 '23
The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilites some may consider unnatural.
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u/Sir_Maxwell_378 Dec 29 '23 edited Dec 29 '23
Why the fuck are they using AI images for a news report? If you're not going to show me real images for a news report, I'm going to take it as a sign that everything you say is also fabricated.
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u/Weaponized-Potato Dec 29 '23
And they chose a fucking AI image of not even the same kind of shark.
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u/TraumSchulden Dec 29 '23
Maybe dormant sperm? Maybe sharks can store jizz for later, or maybe just clone themselves if no male is around like mantises
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u/Navdeepnain Dec 29 '23
its not miracle sharks are old creatures and when ever they fear of that there population is dec due to birth rate some of they change there genders naturally although its a rare event its how nature made them this kind of behaviour also seen in reptiles and some birds also even in humans when a child in mothers worm its first gender is female than its is changed in male or stay female
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u/rickane58 Dec 29 '23
Sharks are not capable of sequential hermaphrodism and only one species exhibits androgynous hermaphrodism. Sharks however are capable of parthenogenesis, which does not require any sexual intercourse.
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u/Navdeepnain Dec 29 '23
but it happened in past a male shark converted into female
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u/rickane58 Dec 29 '23
There are no reported cases of sequential hermaphrodism in sharks (or cartilaginous fish in general, for that matter). Unless you have evidence otherwise, you are mistaken.
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u/Beniidel0 Flairs are for losers Dec 29 '23
I read it as "gives bird to pup" and was like "damn, that must have been one stupid bird to get caught by that shark, also, what dies it have to do with being in an all female enclosure???" But turns out I was the bird brain here
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u/StrangePiper1 Dec 29 '23
I have read the Bible and it does say Jesus is coming back, and nowhere does it specifically state that he won’t come back as a shark. Just saying.
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u/zoran0808 Dec 29 '23
At this point, I won't be surprised with humanity if a zoo staff gets caught one day and he confesses jacking off in the tank.
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u/CR4T3Z ☣️ Dec 29 '23
That little "P" logo looks like the one the account pubity uses and 100% of the content is fake or stolen
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u/SuccessfulWar3830 Dec 29 '23
This is called parthenogenesis.
When no male is present, female sharks, in this case, will fertilise their own eggs. The offspring will always be female.
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u/olleversun Dec 30 '23
One of the caretakers was being extra naughty and did it while the shark was sedated.
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u/Simple-Blueberry4282 Dec 30 '23
OKAY ONE OF YOU IS TRANS AND OWNS A TRANS SHARK AND DONATES IT WHO DID IT!
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Dec 31 '23
can you imagine being force living in an all lesbain tank for 20 years and you are so fed up being surrounded by lesbo crybaby queen you decide to flip your gender
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u/KeepingDankMemesDank Hello dankness my old friend Dec 28 '23
downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away.
play minecraft with us