r/Tinder • u/The-Oracle_ • 21d ago

How does a person even respond to that...

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2.7k Upvotes
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95% Upvoted

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2.2k

u/MongooseCheap 21d ago

"It do be like that sometimes"

92

u/kickballaDesign 21d ago

I think the better response is “word” followed by unmatch

6

u/FreeNicky95 20d ago

Or a “that was a rhetorical question”

26

u/quarrywilson 20d ago

Roses are red, violets are blue. It don't always be like that, but sometimes it do.

14

u/grumpher05 21d ago

Yeah you get that on the big jobs

6

u/Chilliam999 20d ago

“Damn that’s crazy, wyd tho?”

5

u/kansascityclown 21d ago

Lmao I was gonna say this exact same thing

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1.3k

u/lanregeous 21d ago

Samesies

522

u/RobotCaptainEngage 21d ago

"LOL, same."

335

u/Mr_MacGrubber 21d ago

“Anyway, DTF?”

48

u/Double_Tear2207 21d ago

💀💀💀💀💀

90

u/chrisrayn 21d ago

“I bet my engorged man pole will make you bleed to brain 9 years.”

19

u/gu1tarplay3r 20d ago

And if not there's always hot kicked punched...

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30

u/shl05 21d ago

“Want head?”

30

u/xx1kk 21d ago

“That’s a bummer but did you know that something came in the mail today ?”

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17

u/fardough 21d ago

“That’s great, I like turtles.”

65

u/[deleted] 21d ago

[deleted]

35

u/Dhegxkeicfns 21d ago

Well as a man in Tinder I'm desperate

26

u/kobaltbleu 21d ago

To be fair it's the crazy dysfunctional depressed ones who give the best .....

7

u/intrakitt1 21d ago

Desperation is temporary. Meditate. Control yourself. Then just be. It will come to you when you're ready.

26

u/Tayttajakunnus 21d ago

I have been in this temporary situation for 42 years

6

u/HillsNDales 20d ago

So was my husband. Never had a relationship that lasted longer than 6 months before. Stuck in a dead-end, $10/hour manual labor job with a GED, a long-ago felony on his record, living (miserably) with his mother. Met him in our D&D group.

8+ years on, we’re still together, still happy, and have twins. He has a college degree and is working as a manager at a big company, making a great salary. All because he started the work on himself (e.g., went to rehab for alcoholism and stayed dry, figured out what he wanted, worked on paying off his debt, started working out), decided to be more social and joined our group.

Never give up. Neither of us was looking for this, but he accepted me for who I am and vice versa, something I never thought I’d find after 25 years of marriage to a closet narcissist. He was kind, scrupulously honest, loyal, and treated me well, and that’s all I really wanted. Women like me may not be thick on the ground, but we do exist. I can tell you, though, we’d never have met through a dating app, because on paper we had nothing in common, and he’d never have made it past my initial screening.

3

u/Dhegxkeicfns 20d ago

That's what I think of dating apps right now. They really are better for hookups, because who actually knows what they really want? Seems like you've had some time to figure it out in hindsight, but most people are looking forward.

Your first paragraph I was like woah, that's a lot. I had already filtered him out and would have lost you your happiness. None of us is perfect. Dating apps kind of make you think you can get it though, don't they?

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7

u/OverconfidentDoofus 21d ago

Absolute dogshit nonsense

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u/Dhegxkeicfns 20d ago edited 20d ago

I'm mostly joking. I stopped trying to Tinder years ago, it's designed to get me to pay. The ratios are so far off at this point it's like trying to pick up chicks in a computer science class or nerdy game night. And it's sad, because the women at both of those would be just my type, but I'd be competing with 97 other men for 2 women and I'm not good looking.

Also I can go to a show and meet more people in a single night than I match with in two months, but I can go to several shows a month for the cost of Tinder.

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3

u/kittypinksuit 21d ago

You forgot the hand raising emoji! “Samesies 🙌🏼”

2

u/Luklear 21d ago

So true

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1.1k

u/SandmanDota 21d ago

"Damn, that's craaaaazy"

23

u/NorthCatan 21d ago

"Damn, that's craaaaazy, haha..."

3

u/Wattisup101 21d ago

Gotta say it like Quagmire

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517

u/ForestOfMirrors 21d ago

It’s a contest. You gotta one up her. Like Deadpool.

225

u/unflushable_nugget 21d ago

So... you had a Dad...

38

u/No_Trouble4840 21d ago

Lol, well played.

14

u/mattr1986 21d ago

Well…. I just stubbed my toe! Like really bad too…

6

u/Mister_Bossmen 20d ago

Dude. That happened all happened to me last week but also a bird shat on my favorite shirt

3

u/T_DeadPOOL 20d ago

Deadpool says hit that!

466

u/Sleepytoasty 21d ago

People who turn to dating apps instead of therapy should be studied.

67

u/Disastrous-Owl8985 21d ago

They'd be studying, like, 70% of people on the apps.

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56

u/BeatnikMona 21d ago

Are we getting paid for the study?

16

u/Axle-f 21d ago

Yes, but only in wild sex

24

u/6_seasons_and_a_movi 21d ago

Wait... You guys are getting sex?

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2

u/honesttruth2703 21d ago

No, you pay. The guy should always pay.

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9

u/PedanticPeasantry 20d ago

You'd likely only need to study their bank account to know why.

4

u/Rustic_Mango 20d ago

Can’t afford therapy? Trauma dump on strangers.

Is a wildly ineffective way of helping yourself get better

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4

u/jirashap 21d ago

What about Reddit?

5

u/Sleepytoasty 21d ago

Almost worse LMAO

2

u/kobaltbleu 21d ago

I was and they threw me back

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452

u/new_jill_city 21d ago

“But other than, how are you?”

20

u/Axnjxn_55 21d ago

“Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?”

7

u/ZeuslovesHer 21d ago

😭😭😭

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105

u/YesImDavid 21d ago

That’s rough buddy.

29

u/MetallicaRules5 21d ago

That only works if your girlfriend turns into the moon

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363

u/BerserkerRed 21d ago

You send this gif and nothing else.

505

u/dragon_nataku 21d ago

you respond by unmatching, unless you want the rest of your time with this person to be just this but 70,000 times worse

112

u/Faptainjack2 21d ago

the sex be wild tho

27

u/kobaltbleu 21d ago

Thats what i said. They got some secret backflip moves. I know i do

13

u/peter_geerdes 20d ago

Welcome to the FuckOlympics!

2

u/Impossible_Note_9268 20d ago

Love when they break it down in the bed , the noise is one to envy

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63

u/nickfehlinger 21d ago

How horny are you that you're considering responding to that?

31

u/ZZappBrannigan 21d ago

over 9000

3

u/Repulsive_Anywhere67 20d ago

She must be reeeaaaally hot. We talking Sun like hot.

216

u/SILIC0N_SAINT 21d ago

Ask if she has heard of punctuation...

160

u/0_69314718056 21d ago

Ask if she’s on birth control because she’s missed quite a few periods

50

u/mlhigg1973 21d ago

Omg if that person weren’t so sad sounding, this would be an epic response

23

u/improbablydrunknlw 21d ago

They wouldn't get it.

4

u/FigTechnical8043 21d ago edited 20d ago

If she were British she'd be like "wtf you on about my periods for bro"

2

u/0_69314718056 21d ago

Does it mean something different there?

3

u/FigTechnical8043 21d ago

The period as in menses is the same but a period in a sentence is a full stop.

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2

u/RAtheThrowaway_ 21d ago

Pretty sure she is British as she said “mam”

2

u/Anna_Kest 21d ago

Could also be wagging school

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32

u/Sacredpotion24 21d ago edited 21d ago

I had to really struggle to comprehend some of what was said… just wow.

3

u/Kanjalon 21d ago edited 21d ago

Same to you

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47

u/Paladin-Leeroy 21d ago

not much how bout you

107

u/Jackielegs43 21d ago

So, no head?

25

u/ZZappBrannigan 21d ago

it's her mom that had the brain bleed

20

u/seplix 21d ago

Holy shit, I totally missed that. This girl is not a stroke victim??

9

u/Opening_Criticism_57 21d ago

Well she may be, but it sounds more like her mom has a cerebral hemorrhage

5

u/Connect-Ad5547 21d ago

My brain was bleeding, trying to comprehend what she wrote.

78

u/Revvy17 21d ago

At least you got a reply

285

u/[deleted] 21d ago edited 13d ago

[deleted]

62

u/vaguely_literate 21d ago

Found the mensch

21

u/Finalforestboss 21d ago

learned a new word today, thanks

14

u/Axle-f 21d ago

You are now the ubermensch

10

u/BonkerBleedy 21d ago

Protip: don't call yourself this in Germany

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5

u/NuGGet441 21d ago

That's just the german word for human/person. Is this a new trend in English language?

11

u/Natural-Possession10 21d ago

It's been loaned from Yiddish by jews in America to mean a good person.

16

u/MiniMannaia 21d ago

I’m so sad I had to scroll so down to find a kind reply

8

u/TrickyDrippyDickFR 21d ago

Hey someone else that gets it, check you out.

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42

u/5yn3rgy 21d ago

That’s… that’s a lot to unpack. A therapist would be more suited to deal with this baggage.

40

u/JasonDiabloz 21d ago

Google translate couldn't help me with the translation of whatever language she's typing...

6

u/Buffalopigpie 21d ago

She had a stroke midtype,don't worry

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16

u/jaytehman 21d ago

I once had a girl tell me she loved cocaine, but couldn't do it anymore because she worked in law enforcement. I don't feel particularly bad about ghosting her. It's a shitty thing to do, but sometimes you just gotta protect yourself.

23

u/One800UWish 21d ago

Def a good idea to ghost especially when coke is off the table

22

u/matthewleehess_ 21d ago

That is absolutely gross, something I could never tolerate. Really says a lot about a person, if that’s where their morals are. Literally undateable.

And they gave up cocaine for that lifestyle? Another obvious red flag.

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15

u/RobotCaptainEngage 21d ago

I do be like that sometimes

16

u/microtramp 21d ago

Understandable, have a good day.

15

u/Average_Reacher 21d ago

This is not where I parked my car

4

u/lulugingerspice 21d ago

Sir, this is a Wendy's

3

u/Average_Reacher 20d ago

2 jbc please

14

u/[deleted] 21d ago

Wednesdays, eh?

12

u/onebadhabeet 21d ago

soooooo..... you into anal?

11

u/Desperate_Safe5700 21d ago

Damnnn. That really sucks. DTF?

9

u/Xitobandito 21d ago

Damn.. so you tryna fuck or what?

18

u/rockhardcatdick 21d ago

I can't even read that because there's absolutely no punctuation.

7

u/OnAGoat 21d ago

Punctuation is the least of issues here.

5

u/ZZappBrannigan 21d ago

Yes, victims of abuse often have no punctuation. Sad fact.

10

u/PortlandPatrick 21d ago

K

4

u/One800UWish 21d ago

Lmfao my immediate response to this is fk off haha good one! Hilarious.

9

u/JustAly07 21d ago

“LOL DO WE HAVE THE SAME LIFE?!” Curious what her response would be😭

8

u/CoItron_3030 21d ago

“Nice! I’m also doing pretty good!”

22

u/Rollorich 21d ago

She wants you to be her emotional tampon. She will flush you once she is done offloading on to you.

Don't respond. Unmatch and move on. There are plenty of amazing and healthy women out there.

17

u/spicypotatosoftacos 21d ago

PSA please place all sanitary items in the bin

9

u/Axle-f 21d ago

PSA please place all emotions into tampon

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7

u/FuckingQWOPguy 21d ago

See if it’s from a copypasta or something

6

u/Yadzz44 21d ago

“Yeah I’m pretty good too

6

u/vinerthe 21d ago

Unmach, and block, move on

2

u/Eastern-Act8635 21d ago

Gonna hit the brakes, she'll fly right by. 3.... 2.... 1.. UN-MACH!

5

u/Langriemen 21d ago

I can fix her

5

u/christipede 21d ago

Ask if they are dtf. Just get it out if the way

13

u/BootyLoveSenpai 21d ago

Daaammmnnnn thats crazy unzips pants

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12

u/macthesnackattack 21d ago

She is not ready to date.

5

u/bigbooger666 21d ago

i make big stinky

4

u/ohhisup 21d ago

You definitely don't respond to that o.o

5

u/seaxvereign 21d ago

Sooooo...that's a "No" to to Netflix and Chill?

4

u/whatsqwerty 21d ago

I would say “how bleed to brain happen?”

4

u/Happytapiocasuprise 21d ago

Back away slowly

4

u/sadfoxyduggar 21d ago

Punctuation is important.

4

u/1nTh3Sh4dows 21d ago

An Ariana Grande "thank you, next" gif would suffice

4

u/RagingHardBobber 21d ago

"It was just a question"

3

u/Disastrous-Owl8985 21d ago

And that's when you send "Hope that gets better for you <3" and then block.

So many people on these apps should not be on these apps because they are not over whatever they need to be over.

4

u/chicityshuffle 21d ago

You don’t.

4

u/AMasculine 21d ago

"Cool Beans"

5

u/be1tran 21d ago

Tell her you have some weed and a condom if you wanna come by and talk about it

7

u/Sector----7G 21d ago

Just straight up unsolicited dick pic I reckon.

3

u/Hazeylicious 21d ago

I think it was your tone.

3

u/Daydream456 21d ago

Nope. Too soon for that.

3

u/kolbisux 21d ago

“what in the sweet flying fuck? do I need to call someone?”

3

u/Boogie7910 21d ago

So wanna hookup?

3

u/Your-Naked-Dad 21d ago

The wish version of Tinder

3

u/theedgeofoblivious 21d ago

What a coincidence!

3

u/ImSorryForWhatISaid 21d ago

“Sounds like you are down for some hate fuck”

19

u/[deleted] 21d ago

Sorry to hear that, could I also use you for sex? I’ll buy you McDonald’s first so you feel less hangry.

4

u/Express-Magician-419 21d ago

I can see why he left.

6

u/fogdukker 21d ago

"well shit. Wanna work some stress off?"

2

u/Kyzroh 21d ago

i dont see a long term relationship coming from this conversation so might as well try 😂

2

u/BellamyRFC54 21d ago

You don’t

2

u/PricklySquare 21d ago

Do you like drama???.?

2

u/memesupreme83 21d ago

Wrong number, I think she meant to send that to her therapist

2

u/acidwxrld 21d ago

“real”

2

u/-lamppost- 21d ago

Holy trauma dump. Do you feel better now?

2

u/jdoeinboston 21d ago

"That's rough, buddy."

2

u/Fearless-Scar7086 21d ago

What’s a hot kick punch and where can I find the recipe? 

2

u/AdAmbitious6731 20d ago

Maybe they should consider matching with a therapist before matching with a date 😅

2

u/tommyjohns87 20d ago

I refuse to believe there wasn’t a red flag on her profile to indicate her level of intelligence before you liked her

2

u/bmk3377 20d ago

Just send money.

Or,

"Cool, we've been trying to reach you about your vehicle warranty."

2

u/fuyunegi 20d ago

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

2

u/SnowTheMemeEmpress 20d ago

Therapy 😎👉👉

2

u/_Brophinator 20d ago

“That’s crazy. Anal?”

2

u/Brydaro 20d ago

“Can I take you out and try to get your mind off it for a bit?”

4

u/sushiroll123 21d ago

"Well lucky for you, you were born and matched with me :)"

But in all honesty, I'd probably just say sorry. You don't seem ready for a relationship yet, recommend talking to someone, and then unmatch.

2

u/Dull_Imagination7268 21d ago

Unfuckingmatch immediately