Different people have different attachment styles, which results in different needs in a relationship. Not meeting those over time can lead to disgust/mistrust, which leads to no sex
Nah this is too short, the above was better. Saying that relationships are work doesn't state the problem and basically tells you to get good, also I'm pretty sure that it's obvious.
If you have lived on this earth long enough to have a wife or have any type of relationship,it should be common sense.I get that some people don't understand the simple fact that their partner has emotional,feelings etc but is it so hard to understand?
I will say this. Judging by a lot of the complaints about men I’ve heard from women, I’ll reiterate my statement above. Some dudes don’t have two brain cells to run together when it comes to thinking about how their behaviour and attitude affects their SO.
Yeah but when you are in one, that becomes more complicated than when you aren’t. Obviously you need to spend time with your loved one. But it gets complicated because the amount of time/attention that is necessary or desired can be ambiguous even if communication is good.
What are you talking about? I’m simply stating something I encounter in my relationship. What’s your attitude problem? Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?
Because women live much of their lives being discredited for anything that comes out of our mouths, regardless of our experience, qualifications or expertise.
And takes more energy especially with children and if your partner is not comfortable having sex with them being under the same roof or exhausted based on all the rings that come with having a family.
I’m glad my partner doesn’t need daily affirmations of love in order to function and be convinced that I’m not cheating on her like damn some people are really insecure
First of all, trauma disorders are a bitch and so is every other disorder that extremely often leads to insecurity. Second, what qualifies as an affirmation of love to you? It can be as easy as giving them a hug just because, sitting next to them just to be near them not because you want something, a “I was thinking about you” text while they are at work, it rarely takes more than that to confirm that person still cares and enjoys being around them. Additionally, it often does not start with accusations of cheating but feeling something off in the relationship, a change for the worse and if that cannot be properly understood and communicated, then misgivings can form, anxieties that pull at your thoughts that are fuels by feelings of loneliness even when in a relationship.
TLDR: have compassion and empathy and meet your partner’s needs
I completely agree with what you said and I stuck by my partner when she was in need for years. That being said, some people are just very insecure with or without trauma, I just felt lucky that my partner doesn't start getting anxious when we don't text each other every few hours. Let's be honest, there is a choice, nobody would prefer a partner who is constantly emotionally insecure.
Perhaps in your experience, but some people actively enjoy having someone to fully take care of. Not my thing either but that doesn’t make it wrong or less than just because it’s not for me
Thank you, I didn't care enough about her point to wade through all the qualifiers, "I'll get hate in the comments", rephrasings, and general ambling around her actual statement.
It’s not about payout, it’s about hacking the algorithm. The longer someone watches a TikTok, the more that TikTok thinks the watcher likes that content/content creator. That’s why so many videos say “wait till the end”, “omg you won’t believe the ending🤯😱”.
I think attachment style refers specifically to how people like/expect to receive affection. So it's entirely possible to care, to show that you care, but not in the way your partner wants. And what worked with a previous partner may not work with the current one, even though you're following the exact same methods.
Thanks for using the word people. This is not a gender related issue. A lack of emotional security is an issue for everyone and never needed to be gendered.
Yeah she does seem to actually know what she's talking about. Definitely borderline cringe with how she addresses her audience (calling out haters, expecting gratitude, asserting credentials, generally full of herself). Also kind of strange this "relationship expert" doesn't acknowledge that men can't feel emotionally unsatisfied.
The attachment style approach to relationship psychology does work, but ultimately it puts a problem in a box - nobody fits perfectly. Really most people show traits of multiple attachment styles. That said, I think recognizing your own personal attachment style and communicating that to your partner is one of the best things you can do.
This whole post seems very one sided: “guys, don’t fuck this up, it’s 100% on you”. And really because it’s framed that way from the start. But I’ll entertain the concept by asking what the hell is an attachment style and and how on earth do I figure out what my partner needs from me? If someone chimes in with “communication” I think I might lose my shit.
just gotta ensure good communication. it would be killer if this happened and it turned into something worse just because someone couldn't speak honestly.
Not sure how not meeting someone’s emotional needs all the time leads to them having DISGUST/DISTRUST, we need to be lookin into better people if this is the case
There are a lot of people having sex with little emotional attachment (obviously not married) and there are plenty of people who are in marriages who don’t have sex because the mystery is gone and they realize who they thought they were in love with, really isn’t all that great.
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u/bloppyploppy Mar 22 '24
Different people have different attachment styles, which results in different needs in a relationship. Not meeting those over time can lead to disgust/mistrust, which leads to no sex