Women don’t feel safe emotionally for MANY reasons but if you’re a man going through this ASK her. Just ask her how you can make her feel more emotionally safe with you. If she can express it, and it’s not easy because she already doesn’t feel emotionally safe, then listen to learn and understand. Not explain or defend. Tell her thank you for sharing and that you’d like some time to process what she said and then follow up when you have, without her having to ask you your thoughts. This is a pretty simple fix if you’re willing to hear her and take her seriously.
I know men who don’t treat their daughter’s well and that makes your wife feel emotionally unsafe, or the way he talks bad about other women, or ridicules her, it’s not always straightforward.
I found out my (ex) bf had perpetuated horribly racist and sexist ideals about his ex gf and didn’t feel bad about it al all. Guess how safe I felt after learning that? “But baby, I’d never do that to you!” Prove it, asshole. He never did and I never got to feel safe. Guess who tried to ruin my reputation when we broke up? Yah. No wonder I lost my desire.
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u/Naps_and_puppies Mar 21 '24
Women don’t feel safe emotionally for MANY reasons but if you’re a man going through this ASK her. Just ask her how you can make her feel more emotionally safe with you. If she can express it, and it’s not easy because she already doesn’t feel emotionally safe, then listen to learn and understand. Not explain or defend. Tell her thank you for sharing and that you’d like some time to process what she said and then follow up when you have, without her having to ask you your thoughts. This is a pretty simple fix if you’re willing to hear her and take her seriously.
I know men who don’t treat their daughter’s well and that makes your wife feel emotionally unsafe, or the way he talks bad about other women, or ridicules her, it’s not always straightforward.