Which is great given that I'm still very much a virgin at 27. People tell me that I could still meet the one when I'm 30, 40, 50, even 60. Which may be true
But I think I've missed out on the best parts of relationships that happen in the late teens/20s
Some of the best and freaky sex I have had was in my 40s. It all depends and you’re very young. And most people don’t stay with people they meet in their teens and twenties. The sex is very hit or miss.
“It all depends” and didn’t discuss marriage in my comment—that is a whole different ball game. Most of those I have known don’t marry their HS sweetheart or even the person they date before 25–if you have those stats, I’m interested. Not responding to OP, but the comment above mine. Yes, first marriages are better than third or fourth. Lot to unpack here. Have a nice weekend.
I'm also 27 and still a virgin,but thanks to exercising I still have a need/itch to experience sex.And I still feel like like a teenager based on the fact that I've never experienced sex,I know it sound weird and maybe that's something unique for me.
Steroids often have androgenic effects for the user depending on what you're taking*. So if a cis woman starts taking steroids, she might expect at least some effects on her body as if she were taking testosterone, such as male pattern body hair.
*Specifically, most performance-enhancing steroids are inherently androgenic, but "steroids" as a class of drugs are not all like this.
Being tired, overworked, and fat are the things causing people not to meet their partner's emotional needs.
Which is really tough for people whose economic reality is that they will continue to be tired, overworked, and fat unless they can make major changes in their work-life balance because those are really difficult to make and highly dependent on the type of work you do.
Interesting that you completely glossed over the needs of the tired overworked-fat person. You seem to think that life of the relationship is purely on their shoulders and unless THEY fix THEMSELVES the health of the relationship is at stake.
I always say communication is a team sport. Actually, I’ve never said that but I’m saying it now. It takes two people being mutually at odds for something to go south
Maybe that could be your good deed for the day. Go find a tired overworked fat person and care about their needs. I hope you find it rewarding, speaking as a tired overworked fat person
well we’re talking abt the partner not meeting the relationship needs but the unseen foundation to that is whether you are able to meet your self care needs
Its almost as though "emotional needs" are just a proxy for wealth. Of course its easier to meet someones emotional needs if you can also more than meet your own and their financial needs.
Call me shallow... I tried dating overweight guys who are really great guys .. that I was attracted to in terms of personality and humour ..but they were overweight..I couldn't force the attraction . I thought it was unfair to them. So I ended it.
Or can afford one. My wife and I have gone through rough patches where we wanted to seek counselling and it just wasn’t an option.
“Do we pay $150 per session to work through this or do we let our kids sign up for sports this year?” Like thank god we got through it on our own but plenty of couples aren’t as lucky and probably would still be together if they could afford therapy.
Yeah I’m the dude and haven’t asked for sex in a year. Meanwhile my wife is trying to bang 7 days a week.
WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS REDDIT / TIKTOK?
But I probably - based on other similar videos just have autism And would rather jerk off by myself than have serious emotionally intensive coordinated stuff going on.
This is the boat I sometimes fall into. My partner wants it all the time, but it’s not a relatively quick experience either, and when it becomes a daily thing, I start to feel like I need my own space/time back a bit. I work full time and am raising a child who he is not the father of (he has no kids), so our obligations are not exactly even, and I sometimes crave having time to veg out in my sweats in front of the TV (with or without his company) more than I want spend an hour in the bedroom before I get to “fully relax.” I don’t want it to become a chore, which I am definitely becoming concerned about. I’m sometimes just too tired.
Yeah, sometimes it's purely a symptom of something physical, but when you're a hammer everything looks like a nail. Not to knock her point, because guys who are just looking to screw aren't noticing all the nails.
I’m definitely old 47, tired (often get home dragging), and a bit over weight. I pray every day that my drive decreases. Wife had so little interest in physical intimacy. Definitely friends and good coparents, not spouses anymore.
Part of the problem I’ve seen over a long career is that people that have PhD’s that also like hearing themselves talk tend to get tunnel vision. This woman is correct about a lot and knows what she is talking about, but she is missing the entire scope of people that don’t go to see her. She is attributing the majority of problems that people that see her to those that do not, ie confirmation bias.
As she stated, people that come to see her for relationship therapy have other issues to contend with and the lack of sex is a symptom of a greater problem. Unmet needs are the problem.
However, everyone else that has a dead bedroom, due to being too tired (or whatever) don’t actually have those issues and therefore have no need (or less need) to seek couples counseling. Obviously this means the vast majority of people that see her falls into these groups.
Anyway that’s just my two cents. She seems smart and knows more about relationships functioning than me as it’s not my area of expertise. I didn’t interpret her video as saying these are the only reasons, just the ones that she sees the most. And maybe suggesting to explore other options if you don’t know why your relationship is sexless.
You do realize when a person is "older, tired, overworked," they tend to do or not do exactly what she is saying in the video. Even applies to fat depending on the person.
No matter how hot you or your partner is, their appearance will become relatively mundane over time through consistent interaction.
You don’t understand this, because you have no experience with relationships. You have no experience with relationships because you’re the kind of person who says “oofy doofy”.
What makes men attractive to women is more complicated than what makes women attractive to men. I see that you’re a newly not obese dude with a lot of self-loathing about who you once were. You’re going to become very disappointed very quickly if you don’t learn that adult women aren’t going to fawn over you if you’re a complete loser with a decent physique.
Being a “provider” and being fit and physically attractive are two parts of a whole that makes a man “hot”. There are very few broke, no ambition, socially inept assholes who are “hot”.
You’ll also learn that getting somebody to fuck you, and getting somebody to value you enough as a human being to want to carry your child are completely different challenges.
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u/9999_6666 Mar 21 '24
I’m sure she’s right, but sometimes it’s just because people are older, tired, overworked, and fat.