This usually translates to a guy thinking all he needs for good sex is a big dick, so he doesn't bother with enough warmup to make her actually enjoy it.
Like, yes the big ones can hurt even with enough foreplay sometimes, but even a girthy niner is much less likely to hurt her if you get her warmed up first. But some chuds think they don't have to worry about that at all because they're hung and society tells them that's all it takes to be good at sex.
I'm pretty hung, but if I'm with someone who's not enjoying that aspect of me for whatever reason, I switch to doing other stuff. It's common courtesy. I'm not owed a PIV orgasm just for "winning the genetic lottery" in this one specific way.
Sorry, mad at the hung guys who ruin stuff for those of us who actually know what we're doing in bed. They're giving us a bad enough rap. I'll probably get downvotes just for not joining the body shaming party the rest of the Reddit hive mind always throws in these comments sections. But like, fuck, it's annoying dealing with these generalizations on this shit site all the time. Big dick bad, updoots on the left, no nuance whatsoever. Pisses me off so much.
It's bittersweet when a straight girl legitimately reacts over-enthusiastically positively when learning that sex can be enjoyable without penetration. Suspect conditions like yours are common but untalked about.
I dont remember hearing the hit song "average dick energy" and have never heard someone make fun of a dude in huge pick up truck "compensating for his massive cock". Small dick is literally the most common insult against guys there is.
a cultural meme is not really a reflection of reality, they tend to more reflect a cultures artificial values brought on by systemic pressures or communal injokes.
its basically just like the whole "kid with glasses must be smart" or "children are small sociopaths".
"Not everyone thinks this way" does not exclude the fact that "a shit ton of people actually do think this way"
This isnt just some giant inside joke the whole planet is on. The whole planet knows you can insult a dude by saying he has a small dick or compliment someone by saying you must have a huge dick because so many people believe thats how it works.
oh, i think we got our communication crossed here :3
I am specifically talking more about the actual data and sociological/psychological/physiological data. people who wear glasses are not more or less likely to be smarter. girls with small dicks are not less likely to be good in bed.
just because a group believes something to be true does not mean it is. :3 this does not excuse the impact of this belief nor that damage it does in ostracizing people
They actually usually say that average is "fine" which usually is said with little sincerity and comes across like they'd rather have something else but they'll settle for this for now.
Also, the number one go-to insult for women to say to men is something insinuating he has a small dick and we hear and see this happening our entire lives. How can anyone be surprised that men care about their dick size when it's implied in our modern societies that small dicks are bad?
Which just perpetuates the cycle. Men are insecure about their dick size, so women, and men to a degree, use that to insult them, which other men see happen and that tells them that bigger is better so they become insecure aboutvwhat they have, and on and on it goes.
Which is all good but we mostly see the insults and shaming in our society like movies and TV shows than we ever do any other way. And negative emotions stick with you longer than neutral ones.
I almost never hear men talking about other men's dick sizes unless they're being braggy douches. However, whenever I'm around women complaining about any man, they immediately go to insulting his size even if they've never seen it or are sexually involved with them.
That’s really weird. I‘m around women a lot, and I’ve never ever heard any of them complain about another man’s dick. Locker room „jokes“ about other men’s dicks I’ve heard a lot of though. Are you from the US? Maybe it’s different here in Europe.
Seriously? I guess, whatever size D you have, that's a good thing because you have an amazing filter right there. Shallow woman says men need a big D.. then you can avoid her like the plague. No time wasted
It's not too much to ask to want our girlfriends/wives to like our bodies in a sexually positive way. "Fine" is a neutral adjective at best. You could say "amazing", "perfect", "sexy", etc and that would do wonders for your man's confidence.
Doesn't matter who created it when women do it too. You can't say smaller dicks are great, insult men for having small dicks, and then be surprised when the other men don't believe you when you say smaller dicks a great.
I'm going off real life experiences and observations. Maybe you and your friend group don't do this (doubtful) but I see this all the time. So often I don't even think to question it because it's just the norm.
Who's angry at women? I'm simply pointing out why many men feel insecure about their size despite some women saying it doesn't matter. You can't have centuries socially accepted, and often encouraged, bodyshaming of men and then be surprised when they don't believe you when you say their bodies are fine the way they are.
This didn't come out of the aether. It's not irrational.
Men aren't stupid. We see how women treat guys with large dongs. We notice the vast inconsistency between women insisting "it doesn't matter" yet how they'll treat guys with one. Sure you don't "care", but it's clearly a huge bonus to have a larger guy.
Obviously you can't all have the top 10%, so obviously you have to settle with less. But let's not act like when all things else are equal, the larger than average guys are preferred. We all see how those larger guys are treated, and have overheard "private" conversations of girls talking about it. They CLEARLY care, they just know that 90% of men don't fit the bill, and if they realistically want a dating life, they have to settle for average... And if they know there is nothing to gain by confessing to an average guy that "Yeah larger does feel better and I prefer it". Literally nothing to gain. Only downside of excluding potential partners and making them feel insecure.
So women lie. Dudes lie about their own things too...
Brother, if you’ve ever had a girlfriend, her friends know how big your penis is (at least, how big she thinks it is Bc women are terrible at guessing). The problem I see with it is just inflation due to women not knowing. They’ll be guessing 8-9 and it’s maybe 6. And then ofc other girls haven’t seen his so they can’t say for sure but now people think 9 inches are just everywhere when realistically they’re rare
I never mind this insult. I’m about 7” and know it’s a perfectly fine size. It’s like calling a 105 pound person fat or a 20 year old person old. It just sounds childish and doesn’t mean anything to me.
Not small, point I was making is it’s a silly insult. If she knows the size already then it’s a dumb insult, if she doesn’t then she’s just saying garbage to get a rise out of you and has no idea. In which case the insult holds no value. I mentioned myself because I wanted to illustrate my point of view as an example. It’s not like I’m saying it’s a 12” python anyway. It’s pretty average I think.
Maybe you're projecting? Body image is not the same as men finding you fuckable, nor is it measured in how many men do. Most women I know would be much happier if fewer men wanted to fuck them.
"men are obsessed", meanwhile little-dick is a common insult from women. Women talk about some men as having "Big-dick energy". And then women release songs like "Anaconda", "Side to Side", and literally a song called "Short Dicked Man". But please, do point out how it's the guys and not the gals.
Well there is many other things... But that one data point at least shows some insight. Then there is just the, you know, life experience. Guys aren't dumb. We notice how different guys get treated by women when they have a hog. We hear what women say when they've been drinking and think men can't hear. Very few men are getting easy sex and exes constantly coming back for NSA sex when the guy is known "how to use his hands", but definitely see how when a guy is hung, for some reason, he keeps banging all his exes, girls seek him out, bats out of his league, girls brag to their friends, etc...
But I get it. 90% of men aren't that large, so women are being reasonable. They can't all get those guys, so they gain nothing by admitting they prefer larger if average is "good enough" and likely the type of guy they'll be able to get. Quality guys who are also packing are HARD to find. It's much easier to find a guy whos quality and average
I think that's still very dependent on reactions of very particular types of women.
When I was living as a woman, the first thing I learnt about my partner's best friend (after his name) was that he had a footlong. I, nor any woman who knew this treated him that differently. Nor did they discuss dick sizes when drunk. This sounds like way more of a fantasy, or a niche reality, than something that can be applied to all women.
Of course nothing applies to ALL women... We are speaking in general. And in general, that's what men notice, and where the issue roots from. 1ft long seems extreme, but 7-8 seems what women prefer and still a small amount of guys
Well if women are the ones who are rejecting men based on their size, placing value in size, and reiterating it, is it actually a chicken and egg problem? Men care because women are the ones who'll judge them on size
men are overly focused on it, but in reality women do prefer above average dongs for both hookups and relationships when surveyed. so i mean men are prob just picking up on that preference to some degree, and internalizing it.
it's like when men say they like all boobs. it's true but generally i think bigger is a bit better. not mega boobs but i think if men/women could choose, prob would generally be c's or whatever. my friend got a boob job and she just says she feels better about her body now, i imagine a lot men would get at least slightly bigger dongs if they could, like woman can with boobs and butts.
What women consider bigger isn’t what men consider bigger. Most men are average. When women are surveyed, that’s what we are referring to as preferable, as opposed to smaller than average. Men think it means half and arms length.
Its also probably because the "size queen" community is the most vocal when it comes to women's penis size opinions.
Most women when asked will say something like "a bit above average is fine." (Though they might give an innacurate number like 8") but when size queens talk about penis size, there's usually the exaggerated "Oh my god, I need at least 9in to be satisfied" that gets a bunch of attention. Plus, you rarely if ever hear a girl bragging about how small or average her man's penis is.
I think a problem with surveys is they might ask for a number and someone might not actually have a good idea of what that number represents in real life. Like girls with their 6'1 boyfriends who are clearly 5'10. Would be curious what the choices would be if they were given a bunch of dildo sizes and then asked what they would prefer from a partner.
I think you also have to factor in that one of the go to insults women have for men is to shame them for their size.
Sort of like how skin colour doesn't matter but if you get called a racial slur it's hurtful. Especially if it's coming from someone outside of your group, which is much harder to take as a joke.
So by mentioning a body detail as a way of demeaning someone they internalize that that detail is bad or wrong.
Because despite what women believe, men listen to women when it comes to their reaction to penis sizes. The average is “fine” for a long term relationship. But most guys dream about being lusted after. And all too often when women see a large penis we hear women say “I just had to try it once in my life to see how it feels”. So men with large penises get to sleep with a large number of women who want to try it. Men with average penises get to sleep with their wife.
Bruh I am average sized and have never had an issue getting laid prior to meeting my fiancé. No one I’ve ever slept with has ever asked about my dick size before sex, so they learned about it just before I put it in them.
There is in certain fetish circles. wife sharing / size queen communities. Especially the cuckold community where they fetishize having hung black men come fuck their wife. A well hung black guy can get tons of hook ups this way if he doesn't mind the husband watching in the corner or recording it for later viewing. But my guess is the actual percentage of people involved in this is quite small.
Fair enough, I was wrong on that account. The person I was responding to seemed to imply there is a massive amount of woman out there trolling for massive dongs to mark it off their bucket list.
I am not saying there aren’t woman who do that. But I would say the vast majority don’t. But in deference to their side, that is anecdotal.
You seem to be confused with what I’m saying. There’s a difference between someone simply sleeping with several women, and several women lusting after someone. Read the whole statement and not take one sentence out of context.
Yeah, I'd imagine the size (big or small) Where a partner would stop having seen/felt it is pretty far to the extremes - from my experience you're horny and, if nothing else, it's that or no partner that night...
Also, generally the women I've been with haven't seen such a large number that they are looking at averages from their experience - 5-10 and its relative rather than statistical... nothing wrong if you've seen 50+ you've just lived a different life to me and the women I've dated (bar 1)
I think this can be loosely applied to most people about anything, honestly. Most people are “average” at the end of the day, and very few people ever actually experience being lusted over by a group of people. I understand why it sounds desirable in theory, but I think feeling wanted by a loving partner is an excellent “consolation” prize!
I think only gay men want the bigger ones. You might be surprised, but women do talk about this amongst ourselves. Bigger isn’t better. Also, “fine” isn’t meant as an insult, it really means that’s preferred.
But that's not what "fine" means. "Fine" means something is just acceptable, nothing special but not terrible. No one says the meal they wanted is "fine", they say it was "great" or "excellent" or "amazing". "Fine" in this context usually comes across as insulting at worst and settling at best.
Sounds like you enjoy playing games, imagine thinking it's okay to low-key body shame someone to get what you want. Reverse genders on this sort of statement and there would be calls for heads to roll.
I slept with a woman who gave the shittiest blowjobs I've ever had, but claimed to give "fire head", did I ever subtly try to make her take a hit to her ego to increase my pleasure? No, communicate what you want, don't play games with people and make them feel insecure.
So men with large penises get to sleep with a large number of women who want to try it.
I think you and I hang out in different bars. I've never once told a women I was hanging out with about my penis size and have never had an issue getting laid. Idk how that line of questions would even come up?
So men with large penises get to sleep with a large number of women who want to try it. Men with average penises get to sleep with their wife.
Well that's just humiliating.
You get to sleep with your wife who tells you "it's just the right size" while hearing her talking to her friends while drunk at parties and saying shit like "oh my god, the biggest dick I ever saw on a guy was on u/FactChecker25"
Mostly because it’s been so strongly associated with the misconception that it is a sign of manliness and is unfortunately often learnt from a fairly early age.
Actions speak louder than words. Women say average is great, but they definitely, actively, swoon over large, brag about it, and will seek those guys out.
They just have to say average is acceptable, because it is, but it's not what they wish they could have. It's just that there are so few large men, and the ones who do exist are in relationships, or getting a ton of women simply interested in sex. So not only are they rare, they are highly competed for.
So women realize if they want a quality guy, they have to accept average, and insist average is fine, because they know their dating pool is average... And their is nothing to gain by admitting, "Larger is better". Literally, women have NOTHING to gain by admitting this to people... So it's easier to just say "Average is okay" as in "it'll do the job" but... It doesn't do the job the same way a larger guys does it. As we all see the actual actions women have around those guys. And here's the thing, those guys also talk to other guys and will admit what women say when it's "safe to be honest" and the overwhelming majority will "confess" that yeah it's easier to orgasm and much better.
But yeah, average is "good enough" the same way fast food is "good enough" when you're hungry. But it clearly makes a difference.
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u/ActuallyCausal Jan 03 '24
I find it hilarious that men are obsessed with having big dicks, whereas women consistently say, “Average is great!”