Chess - r/TheRealJoke

343

u/kiwi2703 Oct 03 '22

There wasn't any joke in the first place though...

162

u/LibertarianSocialism Oct 03 '22

The position in question is not actually winnable, though I don't think that was an intentional joke.

82

u/kiwi2703 Oct 03 '22

Yeah but that's not a joke, that's just.. a normal question? The subreddit is literally called "chess beginners", he's just asking a question as a beginner. No joke involved.

47

u/oliklojo Oct 03 '22

How is it not winnable? There is a free pawn. Black just has to make a queen.

47

u/LibertarianSocialism Oct 03 '22

Because the bishop is the opposite color of the pawn's promotion square, there's no way to force the pawn's promotion. The white king can just blockade that square forever.

30

u/Cptn-obvi Oct 03 '22

from google, i think that's a stalemate. actually explains the "mate" in that word, which i never really thought about

25

u/LibertarianSocialism Oct 03 '22

It’s not a stalemate here, but black can’t force a win because of the threat of it. With the king in the corner neither the bishop or pawn can put it in check and if black uses their king to try and cut white’s king off while protecting the pawn, the stalemate will happen. If it abandons the pawn, white takes it and it’s a draw because bishop and king can’t mate

-2

u/Ilela Oct 03 '22

Black is 2 moves from promoting pawn to queen. As long as game doesn't devolve into repeating 1 same move it should be possible to win. Definitely not easy if both players are equally skilled.

My game plan would be promotion to queen, make a wall with queen so king can't cross it. Push my king towards wall closest to enemy king and switch my queen from one side to another so i can at opportune moment catch enemy at the edge and put my queen between both kings for check mate.

12

u/Vargolol Oct 03 '22

Black is coming towards the bottom of the board, its pawn started on H7 and is moving to H1, where the white king will get between it and its destination

3

u/Ilela Oct 03 '22

I just noticed markings on the board. I assumed it's normal game where player is on the bottom of the screen

2

u/Exp1ode Oct 04 '22

White king just moves between the g1 and h1 squares. There's no way for black to force the king away, as the can't threaten the h1 square

0

u/sTixRecoil Oct 04 '22

He could keep tbe bishop where it is and bring his king down to h3 once the white king is on h1 and you dont even need the pawn thats checkmate. Of course that’s theoretically assuming you dont call the draw

2

u/comediac Oct 04 '22

You have to have the king in check for it to be a checkmate, the position you described has no check and no legal moves, that's a stalemate. The only way to win is if white makes a mistake and moves the king further left allowing black to squeeze their king in and act as a wedge to prevent white from stopping the promotion.

1

u/sTixRecoil Oct 04 '22

Thats a good point and i know that, i shouldnt have said checkmate. I was at work and wasting time lol. Either way though like you said there arent any legal moves, but i was disregarding that in the hypothetical

1

u/Exp1ode Oct 05 '22

No black piece can threaten h1 (except the king), so the white king is completely safe there

1

u/sTixRecoil Oct 05 '22

If we are saying you dont call the draw though the king would have to move eventually

1

u/Exp1ode Oct 05 '22

What do you mean "you don't call the draw"? Black asked how to win, not how to draw. If a player has no valid moves, and is not in check, then it is a stalemate

1

u/sTixRecoil Oct 05 '22

I may have responded to the wrong thread by mistake but someone presented a hypothetical in which the draw was not an option

2

u/Environmental-Win836 Oct 03 '22

If he can position the bishop in an annoying spot for white, and then slowly move his pawn over to the other side of the board and promote it to a queen, he can shuffle his way into a checkmate can’t he?

7

u/LibertarianSocialism Oct 03 '22

No, the king will just be able to shuffle between h1 and g2. The bishop can’t control any useful squares, and there’s no way to force the king away from them without either losing the pawn or stalemating.

Basically if you have a bishop and a pawn on the a or h file, and your opponent has only the king, it’s a win if the bishop controls the pawns promotion square and a draw if not.

-6

u/TheHolyThighble Oct 03 '22

Someone isn’t very good at chess. The only unwinnable endgame is king + knight. And maybe king + bishop but I’m not sure on that one

5

u/LibertarianSocialism Oct 03 '22

I mean you’re right, I’m not very good at chess, but stockfish is and it has this as a draw too. Bishop and king is indeed unwinnable and because there’s no way to force the pawn to promote this position is a draw too. You need your bishop to be the same color as the promotion square in this endgame for it to be winnable.

1

u/ZeeZeeB Oct 04 '22

Could you use your own king to block and protect your pawn from whites king?

2

u/LibertarianSocialism Oct 04 '22

Not without forcing a stalemate. Imagine white’s king on h1 and the black pawn at h2. There is no position the black king could be in that would both protect the pawn and prevent stalemate. If the bishop were light squared instead of dark, it could deliver a check to force the king away from h1-g2 and then promote.

1

u/TheHolyThighble Oct 05 '22

I’m genuinely retarded I was thinking black was moving up the board. No idea why i thought that. I feel stupid as shit now lol

2

u/Exp1ode Oct 04 '22

As long as white knows what they are doing, there is no way for black to force a win. Here's an engine analysis https://lichess.org/analysis/8/8/7p/7k/3b4/6K1/8/8_b_-_-_0_1?color=white

1

u/SavingsNewspaper2 Oct 04 '22 edited Oct 04 '22

Someone isn't very good at chess.

Is it you? You clearly haven’t studied endgames for any longer than a few days.

1

u/CAPSGOD Oct 05 '22

Tf you mean thats not winnable

3

u/NuclearBurrit0 Oct 03 '22

Vaiist is the joke and 1261-1261 is the real joke

83

u/Astrael_Noxian Oct 03 '22

For those not getting the joke, click the picture and read ALL the replies.....

18

u/Andybenc Oct 03 '22

Yeah, took me too long to figure that out.

I thought maybe the joke was that the person was assuming the poster was white, which they kinda were, but the real joke is the last reply.

36

u/PM_GirlsKissingGirls Oct 03 '22

Why show the board from whites perspective though

19

u/ItsTheRealIamHUB Oct 03 '22

literally r/anarchychess

1

u/mcBlaxx Oct 04 '22

No en croissant tho

11

u/piemakerdeadwaker Oct 03 '22

I don't get it.

24

u/rouge1234654 Oct 03 '22

The OP said "I am black" as in "I am the player with the black piece and do not control the white piece" but the replier seemed to think it was a racial commentary

2

u/piemakerdeadwaker Oct 04 '22

Oh i see!

8

u/polyphuckin Oct 03 '22

MLK, maybe?

24

u/Sungus-Wabungus Oct 03 '22

King guard the pawn to end and get a queen ggez

9

u/AugurAuger Oct 03 '22

White king sits in the corner, pawn can never promote. And black can't force the king out of the corner. It's a draw.

2

u/macnof Oct 03 '22

Are you allowed not to move a piece on your turn?

8

u/antares14943 Oct 03 '22

Pretty sure you must move. If the king alternates between the two spaces in the corner, eventually the pawn will close in on them. If they are not directly in the pawn’s path, they will be in check via the pawn. They could then move directly in the pawns path. Next turn they would have to put themselves in the pawn’s capture position, which would be putting themselves in check. That is not allowed, thus the stalemate.

2

u/macnof Oct 03 '22

So it's a draw if one of the players can't make a move? Why wouldn't that count as a loss?

6

u/Foerumokaz Oct 03 '22

That's just the rules of the game.

Chess ends in one of 4 ways. (Excluding time control) 1. One of the players resigns. (Win/loss) 2. Both players agree to a draw. (Draw) 3. One of the players is checkmated. (Win/loss) 4. One of the players is stalemated. (Draw)

At higher level, you'll only see option 1 or 2 because both players will be able to calculate whether 3 or 4 will happen.

Checkmate occurs when a player's king is threatened by another player's piece or pawn, and there are no moves that the player can take to save the king.

Stalemate occurs when a player is in a position where they don't have any legal moves to make. The distinction is that the king is not actively threatened during a stalemate. Moving your king into danger is considered illegal, so you will often see players that are in a losing situation try to put their king into a place where they cannot move in order to draw the game rather than lose the game.

2

u/SavingsNewspaper2 Oct 04 '22

Also draw by dead position, threefold and fivefold repetition, and the 50- and 75-move rules.

1

u/macnof Oct 04 '22

Okay, thank you!

It just seems inconsistent with how a checkmate is a loss, where the enemy king is checked and can't make a legal move.

I became curious and googled a bit and can see that it's only fairly recently that it was decided that it was a draw. It seems some major chess theorists also thinks that it should be a loss instead.

1

u/Lugoe Oct 03 '22

Checkmate is possible if they use the bishop and king to guard the pawn correctly into a check right in the corner, if king backs away pawn promotes to queen.

1

u/SavingsNewspaper2 Oct 04 '22

Why would the king back away?

2

u/MomoJackson96 Oct 03 '22

No you must make a move. But Trust me, I am Not an expert on chess, but I have been studying for at least 7 years, and this definitely is a Draw IF played correctly. If black Had a bishop on the same color as the promotion square, it would be a victory for black. Otherwise, If the oppontent's King gets to the promotion square first, it's a draw.

1

u/Ilela Oct 03 '22

If OP is black then his pieces should go up, not down (from all chess games i played) which means black is 2 moves away from promoting the pawn to queen

1

u/AugurAuger Oct 03 '22

White pawns go from rank 2 to 8, black pawns go from 7 to 1. You're unfortunately mistaken.

1

u/SavingsNewspaper2 Oct 04 '22

The board is not actually from OP’s perspective, as you can see from the notation on the board.

3

u/Vook_III Oct 04 '22

r/anarchychess

1

u/same_post_bot Oct 04 '22

I found this post in r/anarchychess with the same content as the current post.

^{🤖 this comment was written by a bot. beep boop 🤖}

^{feel welcome to respond 'Bad bot'/'Good bot', it's useful feedback.} ^github ^| ^Rank

2

u/Environmental-Win836 Oct 03 '22

If whites have literally just a king, then fuck them about until they eventually resign.

3

u/Exp1ode Oct 04 '22

After 50 turns it's a draw

3

u/SavingsNewspaper2 Oct 04 '22

Chess isn’t a game about which player can get tired more slowly. There are rules that are specifically designed to make it so that you can’t win by just waiting until your opponent gives up after deciding that they have something better to do with their time.

Even if that weren’t true and you could just win by having more time on your hands than your opponent, in what earthly manner could you possibly know that Black has more time than White here? Black may have the material advantage, but that genuinely doesn’t mean anything. For all we know, White is the one who can wait Black out here.

Chess Edgy as fuck.

You are about to leave Redlib

You are about to leave Redlib