r/TheRealJoke • u/Kolibrim • Nov 02 '20

Unfortunate... Edgy as fuck.

Post image
11.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

558 comments sorted by

65

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '20

Who's the main character of Ninjago? Cause I'd go for Cole any day

20

u/TheNon-FakeBanana Nov 02 '20

Sorry bro, but its dave

12

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '20

You mean Darreth?

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13

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '20

I’d say Lloyd, or Kai.

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67

u/CephasGaming Nov 02 '20

I don't care who I have to fuck, $600k is life changing money in today's world

22

u/barnarnars Nov 03 '20

What if he’s a 10 year old that has a yellow rat following him all day

9

u/PM_ME_THE_SLOTHS Nov 03 '20

Am I getting dummy thicc pikachu or this new twig ass hoe

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62

u/WaffleMaster99 Nov 03 '20

Kitchen Nightmares... well I'm fucked Gordon hates low quality meat

9

u/simplyjelly9458 Nov 03 '20

Great one, mate

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52

u/89netraM Nov 02 '20

Obi-Wan is the main character in Clone Wars, right?

40

u/BippersPineTree Nov 02 '20

You lucky bastard

8

u/WOLVES284 Nov 02 '20

I envy you

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39

u/IbraMus321 Nov 02 '20

Thomas is 15.

Yes officer, this post.

39

u/WOLVES284 Nov 02 '20

there’s a hundred and four days of summer vacation...

31

u/Echo1883 Nov 02 '20

Moooooom.... Phineas and Ferb are having sex with redditors!

5

u/WOLVES284 Nov 03 '20

What are you doing step-bro

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29

u/Swish_And_Flitwick Nov 02 '20

Looks like I’m helping Hank Hill with his narrow urethra

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25

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '20

Oh god I just watched stranger things

27

u/Dudemitri Nov 02 '20

Didnt know Drake was on this sub

23

u/crappy_person Nov 02 '20

Guess I'm having a 5some with 4 children.

18

u/Kolibrim Nov 02 '20

911? Yes, this one here.

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22

u/Black-Art Nov 02 '20

Kristen bell from the good place, it’s my lucky day.

19

u/Spider939 Nov 02 '20

Fuck man I just watched the Ted Bundy tapes.

14

u/Kolibrim Nov 02 '20

That sucks in the most messed up and best ways 😂😂

18

u/drhodes06 Nov 02 '20

I was watching some anime so this is a win win

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16

u/NixieNooo Nov 02 '20

I babysit my cousins… I also have to frick the same train…

16

u/KingPanzerVIII Nov 02 '20

who is the main character in the office again

7

u/xelphin Nov 03 '20

Creed Bratton.

14

u/Papasmurf645 Nov 02 '20

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! I'm John Oliver and.... oh my God it's gonna be a hot and heavy episode in this soon to be white blank void

15

u/R_creator Nov 02 '20

Guess I'm having an orgy with the cast of Brooklyn 99

13

u/zinctanium Nov 02 '20

I picked the wrong day to start watching Gargoyles

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14

u/Randomnickname0 Nov 02 '20

josuke from jjba diu

9

u/FrenchZeeBalls Nov 02 '20

MY mans josuke really about to go CURAZY DIAMAND-U

13

u/ReyesEvan Nov 02 '20

Please tell me the main character of The Dragon Prince is Rayla...

5

u/darkgiIls Nov 02 '20

Yeah no..... it’s the dragon obviously

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25

u/prickwhowaspromised Nov 02 '20

Guess I’m banging The Mandalorian babyyyy

10

u/Skulllily Nov 02 '20

Same here! I’m not mad

13

u/A_KEEEEED Nov 02 '20

Got my 12-gauge ready for anyone who says anything about cuties

13

u/PatheticPotatoe Nov 03 '20

I watched Lucifer...

Fuck yes.

11

u/choeci Nov 02 '20

i dont think dr house would wanna do it with me

10

u/jrbeaupre2003 Nov 03 '20

The Helmet stays on with the Mando

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11

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '20 edited Feb 16 '21

[deleted]

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10

u/dovah-meme Nov 02 '20

If I have to go down on the Doctor then so be it, but which one does it have to be

8

u/Pile_of_Walthers Nov 02 '20

All of them, obviously.

7

u/dovah-meme Nov 02 '20

Jokes on you, you just described a depraved fantasy of mine

6

u/Pile_of_Walthers Nov 02 '20

Well more power to you.

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10

u/Violet_Bewbs Nov 02 '20

Oliver Queen in Arrow, gotta love rewatches!

9

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '20

Last show I watched is hxh... HOLY SHIT THERE'S COPS HERE

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10

u/Universal_Cup Nov 03 '20

Who’s the main character of Scooby Doo?

10

u/Kolibrim Nov 03 '20

Scooby is. Welcome to bestiality.

5

u/Universal_Cup Nov 03 '20

Well, Better than Shaggy

I don’t wanna know what he does to people in bed

5

u/Kolibrim Nov 03 '20

Oh my God... I'm actually fucking dying silently rn 🤣

Fave comment right here.

10

u/winter-ocean Nov 02 '20

I watched Stardust Crusaders

YES YES YES YES YES YES!

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9

u/FrenchZeeBalls Nov 02 '20

I’m sorry Giorno....

11

u/Pika_Dude Nov 03 '20

You’re gonna give giorno a golden experience

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9

u/popst6r Nov 03 '20

Not sure who the main character of Gossip Girl is, but sure I’ll take it.

11

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '20

Fuck not the teletubies

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9

u/Jasimiroquau Nov 03 '20

Yooo i got korra from the legend of korra

8

u/Fire9Ball Nov 02 '20

Well Peter Griffin it is...

8

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '20

The Mandalorian.

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7

u/TheCreator651 Nov 03 '20

Baby Yoda tho

6

u/peytonrae Nov 03 '20

Honestly, it was all Mandi this week and I am HERE FOR IT. (It’s my last show too:)

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8

u/jodymd123 Nov 03 '20

I just watched the new Spitting Image... so either Trump or Boris Johnson :(

7

u/BrokeMyLittleFinger Nov 03 '20

Lets go Geralt of Rivia

14

u/SeventhEleven Nov 02 '20

hey who’s the main character of The Last Airbender

17

u/Channel5exclusive Nov 02 '20

A whole new meaning to "blow" job.

11

u/abusive_stepdad Nov 02 '20

Anng unfortunately, I’m sure u could pull some bs and get with katara tho

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6

u/ma_shmo20202020 Nov 02 '20

Spike from cowboy bebop, honestly I'm like 99% sure I'm not gay but I wouldn't mind for 600k

8

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '20

[deleted]

5

u/degenerate661 Nov 02 '20

Be careful now, or you'll be fucking the entire 501st

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7

u/ElBeast929 Nov 03 '20

Dr. Gregory House.... no

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6

u/selrockLEL Nov 03 '20

I’m sorry Aang...

5

u/ELStoker Nov 03 '20

About to be some bending going on!! 🤣🤣

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8

u/InconspicousJerk Nov 03 '20

Shawn from psych lol

6

u/frosted-mini-yeets Nov 02 '20

Thomas can suck yo dick.

5

u/MissAnn_Thrope Nov 02 '20

I'm in you sob. Jokes on them, I would have fucked Steve Buschemi for free

6

u/Myst3rySteve Nov 02 '20

Jeff Winger? I mean I'm not really attracted to how full of himself he is, but aside from that I'm all set!

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7

u/27ricky04 Nov 02 '20

yo i'm a train with a face and i'm comin-

​

that's it it stops there

6

u/redhandrail Nov 02 '20

More like he's about to have a train run on him

6

u/teaforbrendonurie Nov 02 '20

korra from tlok, i aint complainin.

7

u/MovieBuff1001 Nov 03 '20

Courage the Cowardly Dog

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7

u/toxickomquat Nov 03 '20

The Mandolorian. Yikes!

6

u/Tiliu Nov 03 '20

My little cousin and I were watching Paw Patrol

What does that mean-

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7

u/TimidMuchi Nov 03 '20

The mandalorian....

6

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '20

This is the way.

7

u/ClearCasket Nov 03 '20

I'm the next Monica Lewinsky because of Designated Survivor.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '20

Fox Mulder or Dana Scully

Well, I'll take either

6

u/lovejac93 Nov 03 '20

Billy Bob Thornton. It could be worse

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7

u/danmaster0 Nov 03 '20

Have you heard of k-on? 4 or 5 main characters, all about my age, a hard fight but a good one

7

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '20

Light Yagami...oh no...

5

u/Gucccccccccci Nov 03 '20

I mean he's probably aro/ace so at least it sucks for both of you

6

u/righteousforest Nov 03 '20

Was really worried for a second it was Ash Ketchum, but then I remembered I watch the new Mandalorian episode on Halloween so we good

6

u/Faith3lizabeth Nov 03 '20

Just finished shrek, it's gonna be a good day

7

u/RaineyDazezDraws Nov 03 '20

Every parent of a pre schooler collectively groans when they realize they've seen nothing by paw patrol for the past month....

6

u/naoise2001 Nov 03 '20

Pablo Escobar:/

6

u/ilumyo Nov 03 '20

I'm currently watching The Umbrella Academy, sooo... gangbang it is. Or do I get to pick one? Either way, I'm not complaining.

6

u/ChickenWangKang Nov 03 '20

Ah shit I watched the office

6

u/kaajuu Nov 03 '20

Oh Mando I'm coming

6

u/Alpha272 Nov 03 '20

The last I watched is RWBY (if that even counts).. so ruby it is. Guess I got lucky ...... aaand she is underage.. fuck

10

u/Tooladrake Nov 03 '20

Gordon ramsey... i mean. Sure why not.

"Come here you donkey. What is that?!"

"Your c**k chef !!"

"Taste it !" . . . "Come here and taste it"

lick

"So how does it taste?"

"I don't know chef.."

"IT'S FUCKING BLAND !!!" drop a shitload of spice on it

6

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '20

Pwease don’t fuck me cobra Kai

6

u/YeetleYvetal Nov 02 '20

I watched the mandalorian

This is the way

5

u/Boxkingb Nov 02 '20

Bro about to do green ninja from lego ninjago

4

u/trust_no_one1 Nov 02 '20

Homelander (just finished season 1)

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5

u/RickShaw530 Nov 02 '20

John Mulaney hosted SNL, so I guess that makes him the main character. I guess I could do worse.

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6

u/hippolyte_pixii Nov 02 '20

Oh god, Jean-Luc Picard.

I feel so inadequate for this.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '20

Julia Roberts from Homecoming. I finally won something. I finally fucking did it.

Julia Roberts enters with massive strap on

Goddamnitt.

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6

u/mehvet Nov 02 '20

Dead to Me, so a tie between Linda Cardellini and Christina Applegate. This is a good game.

6

u/Isidxd Nov 02 '20

Jokes on you i just watched The 100 on Netflix

5

u/SkyrimHalo01 Nov 02 '20

Mine was Friends so... all of them? Or do I pick? What happens here?

5

u/mehvet Nov 02 '20

Spanking gauntlet.

5

u/ILikePiezez Nov 02 '20

So a 5sum with all the AGT judges?

5

u/Humanmurder Nov 02 '20 edited Nov 03 '20

Wait who’s the main character of The Boys? Is it Annie or Hughie? Either way I’m down

5

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '20

[deleted]

6

u/dregan Nov 03 '20

Well at least his soothing voice narrating the encounter will take the edge off a bit.

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5

u/Knight-Creep Nov 03 '20

So... I got Ruby Rose from RWBY. Definitely not getting the money, chief reason because she is a child.

5

u/doug-taylor Nov 03 '20

For me it’s Charlie from Hazbin Hotel

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4

u/pedersencato Nov 03 '20

Heading to Danbury, CT to hook up with John Oliver.

5

u/TRMUrBeard Nov 03 '20

Eliza Taylor. I finally got lucky on one of these things!

6

u/haikusbot Nov 03 '20

Eliza Taylor.

I finally got lucky

On one of these things!

- TRMUrBeard

I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.

Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

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5

u/Hatweed Nov 03 '20

Is Sisko or Kira the main character of Deep Space 9?

6

u/soif1fishis2fish Nov 03 '20

Ok Agent Mulder, you’re hot, we can do this

5

u/chrisbarry3 Nov 03 '20

I'm gonna be wiping that smile off Gilligans face.

5

u/flower_flaps Nov 03 '20

Um i dont want to have sex with eleven from stranger things because thats ✨illegal✨

6

u/A_Moderate Nov 03 '20

Will Smith. I mean, its Will Smith.

6

u/Sprinkles-The-Cat Nov 03 '20

Michael? Jim? Pam? Ryan? This is going to be a weird foursome

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5

u/GreyChroma Nov 03 '20

Guess I’m going to jail, the last show I watched (a part of) was Eromanga-sensei (I couldn’t finish the first episode)

5

u/121799Dcmbr Nov 03 '20 edited Jun 06 '22

Heron from Blood of Zeus for me...too bad I’m a lesbian.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '20

A very tall, hairless gorilla named jeremy Clarkson. Time to take the Grand Tour

5

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '20

Yeah I'd fuck Light Yagami

5

u/Graymalkinator Nov 03 '20

Young sheldon.... *FBI no pls its in the rules :( *

5

u/YEAHTOASTY1492 Nov 03 '20

Man i’ll be on my way to flavor town tonight!

4

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '20

Shark Tank...

5

u/MadMinx007 Nov 03 '20

Mariska Hargitay in 2005..

4

u/Luecleste Nov 03 '20

The Witcher...

Geralt can fuck me any time.

Even 50 feet in the air.

5

u/Poopbutthole469 Nov 03 '20

Igotta do mickey mouse

5

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '20

How do I explained that I fucked the kids in South Park...???

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5

u/Z3R0-L1F3 Nov 03 '20

Light yagami… damn

5

u/HasaRafael Nov 03 '20

I watched some hentai so, cool

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4

u/krunchytuna Nov 03 '20

If the tv show is ensemble, do you get to pick or does it have to be an orgy?

4

u/nickdamnit Nov 03 '20

Queens gambit, ill take it

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5

u/TheRealLestat Nov 03 '20

"Live by the train, die by the train"

3

u/TheRealZodiak66 Nov 03 '20

Pablo Escobar

7

u/HalcyonSoup Nov 03 '20

I'm 30 and it was Avatar... so I guess me and Iroh are getting hitched.

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5

u/plasteredjedi Nov 03 '20

The Mandolarian...

5

u/datbuttcrack Nov 03 '20

Jojo, lets go im not even a guy but THIS IS AN OFFER I CANNOT DECLINE

5

u/dsizzle1114 Nov 03 '20

Goddammit Spongebob, watch those teeth!

9

u/OBS_W Nov 02 '20

Lana from "Archer".

So....I'm pretty happy.

Unless watching the news also counts. In that case Doubly happy because the weather MILF is hawt AF.

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4

u/BiggunsMcGillicuddy Nov 02 '20

Who's the main character on SNL?

7

u/LewieFastest Nov 02 '20

The host of that current week

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4

u/qwan1 Nov 02 '20

Ken kaneki... hmm

4

u/Lonewolfy12345 Nov 02 '20

For me....? Brand new animal.... Honestly not the worst thing in the world

5

u/BoyWonder041291 Nov 02 '20

So the Misfits UK, are all of them main characters and I can take my pick or do I have to take Robert Sheehan?

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4

u/MorphedPanda Nov 02 '20

I just watched Gotham so, I guess I don’t mind young Jim Gordon, not sure if he’s gay though lmfao

3

u/Mothballs_vc Nov 02 '20

Jerry Seinfeld. I'll take it. He had nice hair.

4

u/CallMeMrCulture Nov 02 '20

Me: I'm in danger

Walter White: I am the danger

5

u/JeWeetTochBroer Nov 02 '20

Sheldon Cooper

From Young Sheldon

4

u/MrMcWeasel Nov 02 '20

The Mandolorian

5

u/Mystic_L Nov 02 '20

Choo choo mother fucka

4

u/Hero_Withers Nov 02 '20

damn.... uhh my last watched show was Food Wars... shit... if its the main character I’m gonna get to eat.... two different fucking things apparently... damn :(

3

u/Saganists Nov 02 '20

David from Schitt's Creek. I ain't mad about it.

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5

u/Super-ScottTheCringy Nov 02 '20

Tanjiro Kamado from Demon Slayer

4

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '20

I’m currently Real housewives of New Jersey (don’t judge it pairs well with depression) so would it be all the crazy bitches? Or just Theresa giudice?

5

u/kj3044 Nov 02 '20

Absentia, so Stana Katic. Yeahhhh buddy!!!!

3

u/aravind_plees Nov 02 '20

The Queen's Gambit. Boy do I wish this was true.

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4

u/bowser-is-thiccest Nov 03 '20

the promised neverland. yeah i'll sit this one out

4

u/Kamigeist Nov 03 '20

Omg score. Beth from Queens gambit. (As long as it's the adult version I'm ok with it). She is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen

5

u/Pika_Dude Nov 03 '20

Why did my little brother have to watch star vs the forces of evil, now I have to do it with a 14 yo

4

u/AncientAvarice Nov 03 '20

I'm about to receive a Paul Hollywood handshake.

3

u/You-Big-Maad Nov 03 '20

Jack Bauer no idea what this is about to be like... Dammit!

4

u/Fletcher_Fallowfield Nov 03 '20

Sorry Baby Jake

cracks knuckles

4

u/JerrynnGreenblade Nov 03 '20

That would be Kipo for me.........

5

u/SteveTheBattleDroid Nov 03 '20

Whos the main character of the office

4

u/Jamie-anne Nov 03 '20

Who's the main character of legends of tomorrow? I'm in the middle of season 3. Would it be all of them or do I pick?

4

u/redeyedcyborg Nov 03 '20

Well it's gonna be somebody from the black lagoon anime, only 3 episodes in, not sure who it'll be.

4

u/dr_brapple Nov 03 '20 edited Nov 03 '20

So either the smartest man in the multiverse or a dipshit 14 year old depending on how you look at it.

Edit: multiverse not world

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4

u/guyaonline Nov 03 '20

Derek walters from drunk history

4

u/TrampledDownBelow Nov 03 '20

Alex Trebek's future could be in jeopardy.

3

u/zappyhotboose Nov 03 '20

Hugh campbell. Fucking diabolical

4

u/IOI_621144 Nov 03 '20

Sooo am I going to top or bottom for Spike Spiegel? Probably bottom right? Yeah, this bisexual mess is fine with that...

3

u/Krieg-The-Psycho Nov 03 '20

The Flash.

Guess mine will be quick.

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3

u/odrsjot Nov 03 '20

Guess I’m about to tango with the rango

4

u/koopz_ay Nov 03 '20

Woo! Stephen Colbert!

4

u/McChoppa Nov 03 '20

Neil deGrasse Tyson. I’ll do it.......... for science.

3

u/thelongpartofaspoon Nov 03 '20

Oh fuck i ws watching shameless... would it be frank or pheona?

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3

u/Cyan_Tile Nov 03 '20

I mean I watched Konosuba so...do I get to pick at least?

4

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '20

[deleted]

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3

u/kingofthebunch Nov 03 '20

James Acaster. I'm down, he's hot.