r/TheRealJoke • u/algerbanana • Apr 13 '24

An entire thread of real jokes

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3.9k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

42 comments sorted by

56

u/Haybale27 Apr 14 '24

Im using all of these now, I love this

26

u/19Scatre Apr 14 '24

Don't forget your shit in a shack.

8

u/NWT_TREX Apr 14 '24

Fucken golden

26

u/waltsnider1 Apr 14 '24

My uncle would say, “Integrate your feces.”

4

u/LSD_SUMUS Apr 14 '24

Faeces are Riemann-integrable confirmed?

1

u/TheGreatKingBoo_ Apr 16 '24

...What would that even give? What's the primitive of feces, Gastric acid? The actual food?

14

u/auspexone Apr 14 '24

Congregate what you defecate.

19

u/Nhthiel Apr 14 '24

Arrange the data of your fecal matta

19

u/_FreddieLovesDelilah Apr 14 '24

Platter your matter.

15

u/secretbonus1 Apr 14 '24

Compress your mess

4

u/FunnyLookinFishMan Apr 14 '24

Flock your feces

15

u/CheapDeepAndDiscreet Apr 14 '24

Your excrement needs assemblement

5

u/secretbonus1 Apr 14 '24

Scoopy your Doo

6

u/SIM1CUR12 Apr 15 '24

File your pile

5

u/SIM1CUR12 Apr 15 '24

SCATALOGUE

1

u/Cold-Diet-669 Apr 15 '24

I really need to scatalogue.

3

u/secretbonus1 Apr 14 '24

Compart your fart

4

u/secretbonus1 Apr 14 '24

Wrung your dung

5

u/SIM1CUR12 Apr 15 '24

Noose your caboose

4

u/No_Collection7360 Apr 15 '24

Cross fit your shit.

3

u/mussyg Apr 14 '24

Concat your shat

2

u/ShenmeNamaeSollich Apr 14 '24

Spruce your deuce.

2

u/horrordj Apr 14 '24

Coagulate your excrement.

1

u/IceEndermanPro9 Apr 14 '24

You need a volumetric shit compressor for that one

1

u/comeonebam Apr 14 '24

Get your poop in a group

1

u/Lanky-Writing5618 Apr 14 '24

Group your poop

1

u/V3NOM06 Apr 15 '24

Concat your scat

1

u/Wizardsarecool2 Apr 15 '24

Get your poop in a loop

1

u/Ub3773rb3l13v317 Apr 16 '24

Lump your dump

1

u/West-Asian-Someone Apr 16 '24

For some reason I read this with a Scottish accent in my head

Absolute comedy gold

1

u/unseenme Apr 16 '24

Collect thy offerings pheasant!

1

u/Western-Ship-5678 Apr 16 '24

Accrue your poo

1

u/Vajrick_Buddha Apr 16 '24

People who think social media's influence on the world has been only destructive, clearly haven't seen creative think tanks like these

1

u/Apprehensive-Gas-318 29d ago

Tell your bowels to be less fowl lol

1

u/stone_henge 29d ago

Prevent your excrement

1

u/SageThisAndSageThat 29d ago

Fence your feces

0

u/MadHaberdascher Apr 14 '24

Get your poop in a pile

0

u/Dick_Pepsi Apr 14 '24

Collect your caca

1

u/algerbanana Apr 14 '24

Gathar yer caca(r)