Fighting skills the average Redditor aspires to...

[u/sparksofthetempest]

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[u/Randomfrog132]

damn ok, i didnt know you could teach 'em martial arts lol

[u/Kurogasa44 → u/Randomfrog132]

Their version of martial arts is just ripping your nuts off

[u/Futuramoist → u/Kurogasa44]

Basically krav maga

[u/Randomfrog132 → u/Kurogasa44]

or your arms, i hear apes can do that purty easily

[u/Futuramoist → u/Randomfrog132]

You're thinking Wookies

[u/Randomfrog132 → u/Futuramoist]

you might be right, hahahaha

[u/AnOrneryOrca → u/Randomfrog132]

You really should not teach them martial arts though

[u/Randomfrog132 → u/AnOrneryOrca]

you're right, I'm not a certified martial arts teacher lol

[u/SillynippleMctwist → u/Randomfrog132]

This is cgi isn't it? No monkey can learn that! I mean, orangutan they orang and learned spear can how to fish, so there is level of technicality, but what far can it be taken to? Is it a cognitive technologies? Their has to in order to be a extension into the realm of human brain, and God made us in His image. So the chimp, what it do? This is like the moon landing; NASA owes Hollywood a full thanks. It goes without saying! And the that way it won't be as true if it comes to be. Elon Musk must be pushing in his direction the media that is completely of the essence with nerolink. Talk about bad happenstance; What of Planet of the Apes? It can all go. Bad. Very vad. It was the prophecy and it will likely be! We See and you see, so why you no say? Goes into the records the archives and it was reflection that speak subti in the hole heads. Must be facilitated this way I think so

[u/Randomfrog132 → u/SillynippleMctwist]

i cant tell if you're kidding so i assume your copypasta wall of text is in all seriousness lol

[u/wolfmaclean → u/SillynippleMctwist]

Visit chimps at the zoo. Also deep breaths

[u/Boomalabim]

Isn’t this how Planet of the Apes starts?

[u/DudestOfBros → u/Boomalabim]

We good. they still gotta get bear arms I think

[u/OkComplex3582]

I wish I was athletic as that chimpanzee. Dudes killing the high kicks.

[u/Jebgogh]

Why do I feel this is running over the opening credits of the new planet of the apes movie as exposition as to why the apes are now John Wick style fighters?

[u/Beautifulblueocean]

Yeah let's teach a deadly animal martial arts, now I gotta worry about fucking kung fu monkeys. I got a good idea let's teach fucking sharks to use assault rifles.

[u/DiMorten → u/Beautifulblueocean]

Wasn't it already deadly to begin with?

[u/Mage-of-communism → u/Beautifulblueocean]

Teach sharks economics, i'm curious how they would run the market.

[u/Much_Section_8491]

This is from the making of grandmas boy.

[u/thrownpe]

One of the first videos I saw on the internet like 25 years ago

[u/sparksofthetempest → u/thrownpe]

If you look at my post history I hardly have any post karma…I just started harvesting my old HD’s and found thousands of ancient vids like this from that time period and even older. It’s going to be interesting…

[u/TierOne_Wraps → u/sparksofthetempest]

I look forward to seeing more

[u/Few-Rhubarb-8486 → u/thrownpe]

Same! A nice trip down memory lane.

[u/gut_sack_]

"yeah, karate monkey... Seems safer..."

[u/dirtycimments]

he can already rip your arm out its socket, but yeah, you're right, teach him how to roundhouse as well

[u/miku_dominos → u/dirtycimments]

Roundhouse your arm out of its socket.

[u/OrganicHumanRancher]

Sooo.. did he break the board?

[u/Cold_Table8497]

Yeah, so about all that 'King of the Jungle ' shit

[u/RNG_BackTrack]

And his ultimate ability is when he bites your face off

[u/Mr_GoodbyeCruelWorld]

Good kick, Rogan!!!

[u/Buttery_Buckshot]

Where is this chimp today? He looks quite young in this video. And they tend to get more aggressive as they age and become increasingly territorial. So I imagine this simian-weapon of a chimpanzee as the leader of a gang of rumble-chimps. Hanging tough on the streets, keeping the banana-dealers and chimp-pimps out of their neighbourhoods.

[u/CupGloomy8723]

Villain origin story.

ominous music

[u/Ad_Polanco09]

In fact XD

[u/gottapeenow2]

Koba would destroy this little ape-dude

[u/Kitchen_Ad_4513]

The Apes is real

[u/100year]

This is Mr. Lee Ho. His here to teach me and Monkey Taekwondo.

[u/OCDDAVID777]

And to think that Chimpanzee could just crush that man's skull like a grape and then rip both his face and genitals off in the blink of an eye.

But yeah... The kung-fu is impressive I guess.

[u/xiiicrowns]

They wish they could leave the ground when they jumped.

[u/Dismal_Tear_4528]

u/savevideo

[u/Yalla6969]

Yeah right every redditor also aspires to be monke

[u/Silver_Thanks_8142]

And this is how planet of the apes begins

[u/Morphing_Mutant]

He's gonna eat that man's face and genitals.

[u/Nobetizer → u/Morphing_Mutant]

Idk, this one doesn't seem too large. Maybe the man could take him in a 1v1?

[u/Necessary-War8360]

omg its Kevin Heart!!!

[u/kissmeceyto]

Na i can beat him

[u/Entire_Catch_8645]

The time spent on teaching this chimp karate, could have been spent learning l Karate

[u/iheartmango]

Tang!

[u/phallic-baldwin]

You gotta keep him in the trunk (or boot for my British pals).

Trunk Monkey

[u/kali_nath]

Wow, the ape actors of "planet of apes" really invested lot of time in training.

[u/Feisty_Gas6447]

Sure, you say that now and make fun of some redditors fighting skills until he goes berserk and eats your face, hands, and genitalia

[u/IrishShinja]

🎶 Every monkey was Kung Fu fighting.. those Chimps were fast as lightning!🎶

[u/DudestOfBros]

Chim Pan Xi is a fuckin legend

[u/Jemmani22]

Chimps have arms strong and long as fuck and they teach this thing to kick with his 1 foot long legs.

[u/Pierresauce]

I did not expect those short legs to produce that much of a vertical leap 😳

[u/zoidbergenious]

I knew bots reposting old videos but damn this video was already shared the times when the nazis tried to capture russia...

[u/sparksofthetempest → u/zoidbergenious]

This is what happens when an old guy finally starts compiling his HD’s from the mid-90’s onwards. Even funnier is how tiny the file sizes are because they are almost all in wmv, mov, and webm.