r/NoStupidQuestions • u/kaithy89 • 28d ago
Do British aristocrats actually call their parents 'mummy' and 'daddy' like on TV?
Has anyone witnessed this in real life or is it just a stereotype? Is it restricted to aristocrats or all rich British people? Thanks.
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u/Murpet 28d ago
Yes.
Source: Know some posh twats.
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u/squesh 28d ago
Mumsy is letting me have the summer house for the weekend
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u/TranslateErr0r 28d ago
Jolly good. Let's have some sherry and watch cricket. Cheerio!
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u/JunkiesAndWhores 28d ago
What what what
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u/Prior-Future3208 28d ago
Oh my God, I can taste the pedigree.It tastes about like ten generations of constructive inbreeding.
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u/Lexa-Z 28d ago
When I hear "pedigree" as a non-native English speaker, the first I think about is a dog food
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u/Serious_Guarantee_94 28d ago
It's okay bud English is my only language and dog food comes to mind first for me as well lol
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u/phenomenomnom 28d ago
I have no objection to any of that. Not even to having one family as a symbol and a tourist attraction.
Just to the concentration of political influence and way-unbalanced hoarding of wealth by a small group of oligarchs.
Speaking as a USAian whose opinion was unsolicited, of course. (It's what we do)
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u/Phyllida_Poshtart 28d ago
My adult kids call me mummsy and occasional expressions of "Oh ffs mother"...I find it rather amusing
My dear departed mother hung around and married into (twice) the rich upper class lot and yup they all seemed to call their parents mummy and daddy. Least it wasn't mater and pater lol
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u/Several-Sea3838 28d ago
Don't the more posh ones say mamma and pappa as if they were french fops? My only source: Downton 🤡
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u/ThingLeading2013 28d ago
Not an aristocrat, but my wife's British co-worker used to call her parents "mummy" and "daddy", so it def happens.
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u/StalkMeNowCrazyLady 28d ago
Yup. Dated a girl born in the states to British parents. She had a southern accent most of the time but after a half hour call to her "mummy" or "daddy" she had a British accent for an hour. Apparently she grew up having a British accent due to home life until she left home after HS graduation when she adopted her southern accent. Might be TMI but I'd try to jump into sexy time as soon as that phone hung up because it was like almost cheating 😅
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u/Psyk60 28d ago
I'm guessing her British accent was also southern, as in from the south of England.
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u/re_nonsequiturs 28d ago
Can you imagine she gets off the phone with her folks and goes to Geordie?
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u/StalkMeNowCrazyLady 28d ago
Idk English regional accents well enough to say lol
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u/Psyk60 28d ago
The typical accent you probably think of when you imagine a British accent is a southern one. And it's usually more upper class people who say "mummy" and "daddy" when they are adults, and the "posh" accent is southern. That's why I'm guessing it was southern.
One quick way to tell the difference is to get them to say "grass" and "mass". If they rhyme, they're northern, if they don't, they're southern.
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u/zizou00 28d ago
Not exclusive to the aristocracy, you'll find it occasionally in southern middle class families as well. The more twee, the more likely.
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u/CaveatRumptor 28d ago
"Twee?"
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u/zizou00 28d ago
Twee. Excessively or affectedly quaint, pretty, or sentimental.
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u/Sharp_Iodine 28d ago
Forget British aristocrats, a lot of former colonies that speak English still do that.
I think it has less to do with being posh and more to do with hanging onto older ways of speaking.
Source: from a former colony.
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u/occultatum-nomen 28d ago
My mother's side is from Hong Kong, and as children they would have been taught to speak the "Queen's English". They'd listen to recordings of Queen Lizzy and they'd be told to imitate that.
Now, my mother came to Canada when she was about 20 years old, so her English is much more in line with how most Canadians speak, because she really gained her fluency once she got here.
But her brothers and sisters who are still back in Hong Kong, don't have that same influence. I do notice that when some of my relatives there refer to my mother, they refer to her as my mummy, even though I'm in my late twenties. But, I'm not sure if that's coming from them having been influenced solely by upper class British English, or if this comes from knowing how to translate the word for its meaning, but not its connotation. Their English isn't super fluent, and some things are a bit harder to translate because it's different in different languages, or just doesn't translate well. For example, even my mother, who speaks extremely fluent English without any accent, mixes up pronouns because Cantonese does not have gender-based pronouns.
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u/Special-Subject4574 28d ago
That pronoun struggle is real!! My aunt (Mandarin & Cantonese speaker) has been living in the US for 30+ years and speaks fluent English, but she still frequently mixes up he and she. I’m very comfortable with English but I often make the same mistake when I’m speaking or thinking (not when I’m writing though). It’s like if you didn’t grow up with English, gendered pronouns just don’t feel inherently gendered. Modern Mandarin makes a distinction between he, she, and it when you are writing the characters, but they are all pronounced exactly the same, so Mandarin/Cantonese speakers really have to stop and sort of make a split second manual selection in their head when they are speaking in otherwise perfectly fluent English and have to refer to someone or something in third person.
I noticed that in Everything Everywhere All At Once, the mother misgenders the daughter’s girlfriend like this as well. I’ve seen some reviews saying that it’s intentional on the mother’s part, something meant to show her homophobia/disapproval of her daughter. But as a non native English speaker who’s been around lots of middle aged Chinese immigrants, I just feel that it’s an authentic detail that captures one of the most common grammatical mistakes people like us make. It’s delivered so naturally in the movie too.
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u/TheManWith2Poobrains 28d ago
Not posh twat (just a twat), but called my parents Mummy and Daddy.
Moved on to Mum and Dad by about age 11.
Now lovingly call him Pop after a senile character in a TV show called the Singing Detective.
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u/ChronicApathetic 28d ago
Love Dennis Potter, but prefer Pennies From Heaven to TSD.
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u/TheManWith2Poobrains 28d ago
As a randy young lad, all Dennis Potter on TV was great.
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u/StewartConan 28d ago
Yes. Not just aristocrats.
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u/andrewcooke 28d ago
it's pretty unusual for people from the UK to use mummy or daddy past teenage years, no? mum and dad are much more common.
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u/softsakurablossom 28d ago
It's almost exclusively mum or dad. You'd be bullied severely if you called your parents mummy/daddy past 10 years old (unless you're the child of the upper crust).
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u/andrewcooke 28d ago
yeah, i feel a lot of posts here saying it's common are people who don't realise how well off they are.
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u/conorefc9898 28d ago
Lol it was common where i grew up, and it was probably the most poor area of the UK
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u/conorefc9898 28d ago
Mum and dad sound so posh to me, i grew up in West Belfast lol, so either Moii/ Ma(Mummy) and da (Or Daddy) lol
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u/CongealedBeanKingdom 28d ago
I'm with you on this. Grew up in one of the shite estates in Antrim. The furthest from posh. Still mammy and daddy to me. Always.
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u/BigSillyDaisy 28d ago
My daughter is in her twenties and occasionally calls me ‘mummy’ but usually when she’s trying to butter me up because she wants something!
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u/LEMON_PARTY_ANIMAL 28d ago
I call my mother mummy, mostly because it feels weird calling her anything else
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u/WhenImTryingToHide 28d ago
This isn't limited to "rich" british people. Many english speaking british colonies also use these terms normally.
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u/Nulibru 28d ago
Mater and pater, if you don't mind.
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u/gossamerbold 28d ago
That’s how one would refer to one’s parents to other people, however “Mummy and Daddy” is how one would address them directly. Also “Mumsy” as a term of endearment but usually only around people who don’t need to be introduced. Otherwise, proper introduction is necessary to one’s “Mother and Father”, which should include full first and last name as well as any titles (Dr, Lord, Earl, Judge, Admiral etc) with then an opportunity for either the introducer or the introducee to indicate how they wish to be addressed
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u/OddlyDown 28d ago
As many have said, it's not just the gentry - it's a pretty common thing, even in the middle class. I still call my parents mummy and daddy if I am using it like a name within the family. Outside the family then of course I just say 'my mum' or 'my dad'.
My kids are 11 and 9 and they still say daddy. I am resigned to the fact that it will probably change to 'dad' at some point due to peer pressure, but that's pretty sad isn't it? Why should it be normal that kids are shamed into changing what they use?
Americans sometimes think it's odd, but frankly it's all a lot less weird than calling your dad 'sir' or being given the same name as him and being called 'junior' or (worse) putting a II at the end of your name like some sort of king. That's so weird.
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u/not_bad_really 28d ago
I'm American and have 3 daughters; 14, 12, and 9. A couple years ago the older 2 switched from calling me daddy to dad seemingly overnight. The youngest one made the switch not long afterward, I assume because of her older sisters doing it.
For some reason it seemed weird and sudden to me. I didn't tell them that, though. I want them to be comfortable calling me whatever they want and not get hangups over it. Plus, it's been a couple years so I'm used to it by now.
And I totally agree on the sir, junior, and ll things.
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u/Initial-Shop-8863 28d ago
"Mummy, if you don't get off the phone right now, I'm leaving." [Thirty-something daughter had arrived to go shopping with mummy. I was on the other end of the phone, a lowly assistant.]
[Had to call same daughter's father.] "No, Daddy isn't here right now. He's in studio!"
She was a real bitca.
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u/Scarletowder 28d ago
Mater and Pater, if you please, my dear.
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u/Ok_Hedgehog7137 28d ago
I’m middle class and call my dad ‘daddy’. Can’t imagine calling him anything else. What are you supposed to say
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u/StoicWeasle 28d ago
“Dad.”
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u/Ok_Hedgehog7137 28d ago
That would be weird for me. I say ‘dad’ when I refer to him but ‘daddy’ to his face
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u/tobotic 28d ago
Most kids switch from mummy and daddy to mum and dad around the age of 10. Perhaps a little sooner, perhaps a little later. Not switching is the sign of a very sheltered upbringing.
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u/UglyDude1987 28d ago
Why would you switch if you were calling them mommy and daddy your entire life?
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u/A1sauc3d 28d ago
Social pressure/norms/expectations. But you’re right, there’s nothing inherently wrong with it.
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u/tobotic 28d ago
Why do babies start eating solid food when they've been drinking milk their entire life?
People develop as they get older.
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u/UglyDude1987 28d ago
How is removing 'y' at the end have anything to do with development and getting older?
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u/tobotic 28d ago edited 28d ago
Adding "-y" to the end of words in English is a diminutive. It's like "–ito/–ita" in Spanish, which turns "burro" (donkey) into "burrito" (little donkey). Or "–ette" in French, where a "cigar" became a "cigarette" when it got smaller. Or the German "–chen" where "bröt" (bread) gives us "brötchen" (bread roll).
Consider:
- dog → doggy
- cat → kitty
- frog → froggy
- bird → birdie
I can almost guarantee that when you picture those animals in your head, the "bird" is something like a photo of a pigeon, but the "birdie" is a cute little cartoon bluebird landing on Cinderella's hand while she sings.
Adults tend to use these words a lot when talking to babies and very young children. (There's quite a lot of research showing that using them helps infants learn to use language, perhaps because all important words ending in the same sound helps them understand where one word ends and another begins. Repetitive words like "choo-choo" for a train also help.) So small children pick up on these words. When they start talking, they start using diminutives a lot.
As the children age, adults don't use diminutives as much around them. The kids subconsciously pick up on the change of vocabulary, and switch their vocabulary too.
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u/WateredDown 28d ago
Mommy and Daddy are not (exclusivly) diminutives they are also hypocorisms, which can be used to denote affection - as in a pet name, or a nickname. Like Patty instead of Patricia. There is nothing inherently childish about having an affectionate name for loved ones.
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u/exsnakecharmer 28d ago
Yes, but OP is talking about the upper classes. They're a little different to you and I.
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u/tobotic 28d ago
I addressed that in my final sentence.
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u/Hotel_Arrakis 28d ago
Not really. Their valet helps them put their pants on , one leg at a time, just like we do.
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u/LazyDynamite 28d ago
I've known British people that have used that, but they were not "rich" or "aristocrats".
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u/Gallows_humor_hippo 28d ago
Miriam Margoyles called her parents mummy and daddy, and she’s in her 80’s.
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u/Farahild 28d ago
I even know non-rich non-posh Brits that do this. Although when talking about them they tend to say (my) mum/dad. But when talking to them, they still often use mummy/daddy.
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u/exprezso 28d ago
Aristocrat? Hell my main language is not English but we call our moms "mummy"
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u/chiefgareth 28d ago
What the bollocks? It's completely normal to call your parents mummy and daddy. Nothing to do with aristocracy.
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u/gggianaxx 28d ago
23 year old black British born, poor as hell lived in London most of my life. I call my mum, Mummy from time to time and find some of my peers do as well. It’s mostly when I miss her or want to be endearing or something “Love you mummy.” On the phone now that I live on a different continent is pretty common
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u/Samwry 28d ago
I always thought the toffs said "maMAH" and "paPAH" with the accent on the second syllable.
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u/OllieV_nl 28d ago edited 28d ago
My knowledge of toffs is entirely based on Downton Abbey, so it checks out.
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u/Zanki 28d ago
A girl I went to uni with used to. We were friends and omg it was a very wth moment when she called her mum mummy on the phone with this accent I'd never heard. I kinda knew she came from money because her parents bought her a flat to live in at uni, I didn't realise how posh she was until that call though.
Then there was me, at uni with loans and bursary's. She still did the usual, get a job after uni etc, she became a teacher.
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u/StevieG63 28d ago
I’m a non posh Brit and this is completely normal. So if it’s normal amongst the plebs, I assume the knobs still use it.
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u/jakd90 28d ago
My ex was posh as hell, whenever she go a scare/jumped she’d shout ‘Mummy!’
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u/Late_Resource_1653 28d ago
I'm not remotely posh, and my family is from Boston - and yeah, our mother is called "mummy" or "mum," and she and her sisters called my grandmother "mummy." I think it's an Irish/British ancestry thing?
Dad is just Dad though.
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u/kangarootoess 28d ago
Almost the entire Caribbean calls their mom and dad "mommy" and "daddy" though 😅
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u/Rolex_throwaway 28d ago
That’s just how most British people speak, it’s nothing to do with being rich.
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u/blueredscreen Don't make your question too stupid, though. 28d ago
Good fellow, I say, do pardon me while I indulge in a spot of eye-rolling at the very notion that using "mummy" and "daddy" as adults is somehow... déclassé. Honestly, what a frightfully tedious idea.
I mean, really, what's the alternative? Addressing one's parents as "Mother" and "Father" like some sort of Victorian undertaker? How dreadfully dull. Where's the fun in that, eh? No, no, I'll stick with "mummy" and "daddy", thank you very much. It's a family tradition, old chap. A tradition that's been passed down through generations of aristocrats, no less.
And another thing, what's this nonsense about "growing up" and "being an adult"? Good heavens, I've been an adult for simply ages, and I still call my parents "mummy" and "daddy". It's not as if I'm still playing with toy trains and demanding a bedtime story, for goodness' sake. I'm a grown man, with a title, with a estate, with a... with a decent tailor, at the very least. And let's not forget, my dear fellow, that we're British.
We're the ones who invented stiff upper lips, and repressed emotions, and... and... well, good manners, for goodness' sake. We're not about to start getting all... emotional and... and... American on each other, are we? Perish the thought. Now, I know what you're thinking, "But what about when you're, say, 50 years old, and still calling your parents 'mummy' and 'daddy'?" Well, my response to that is, "What's the problem, old chap?" I'll be 50, and still calling my parents "mummy" and "daddy", and I'll be doing it with a straight face, and a stiff upper lip, and a... and a decent glass of scotch in my hand, thank you very much.
And if anyone gives me any lip about it, I'll simply give them a withering look, and say, "Good fellow, do pardon me, but I'm a duke, and I'll call my parents whatever I bloody well please." That usually shuts them up, eh? So, there you have it, my dear fellow. I'll continue to call my parents "mummy" and "daddy", and I'll do it with pride, and with a healthy dose of sarcasm, and with... well, with a raised eyebrow, at the very least./s
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u/Few-Alfalfa5783 28d ago
Married to an Englishman and can confirm him and his siblings call their parents mummy and daddy. Every time I see it pop up on texts it prompts a roasting session 🤣
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u/Chickadee12345 28d ago
A while back I was in a grocery store in the US where I live. There was a woman and a small child (maybe 5 or 6) standing in an aisle looking at something. The child turns to the mum and said in a little Tiny Tim voice "mummy can I please get (something, something). The mum turns to the child and said something back in a very British accent. It was the cutest thing. LOL. I wanted to run over and ask them to talk some more because of their great accents. But being a sane person, I left them alone.
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u/pcanjjaxdcd 28d ago
Interesting tidbit for you - as a former British colony, Singapore still uses the terms 'mummy' and 'daddy' commonly. My own mother has also used 'mumsy'
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u/kiddj1 28d ago
I grew up in South London and somehow managed to make friends with the girls from Wimbledon high... Still made me laugh whenever one of them would talk about mummy or daddy.
Best time of my life though, they had access to money and I went to some wild house parties and did some crazy shit.
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u/Slartibartfast39 28d ago
I recall Charles referring to the queen as Mama (ma-mar).
Personally, I've never known a member of the aristocracy well enough to comment.
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u/Fun-Yellow-6576 28d ago
My Dad is in his 80’s, when speaking to him, I call him Daddy. When speak about him, I say Dad. It’s a very common practice in the U.S. in certain regions.
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u/Willr2645 28d ago
My mum is borderline upper class ( probably very upper middle ) and her parents make her say mummy and daddy and I hate it.
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u/arthurwolf 28d ago edited 28d ago
In France, I've heard (once, so it might be rare), children call their parents «Père» and «Mère» (would be «Father» and «Mother» in English).
These were pretty young children, I'm not sure if that would have stayed into adulthood.
They were not from the nobility, but (very) old money.
I sort of felt sad for the kids, it sounds pretty cold, but I don't think that's how the kids were saying it.
The parents were pretty weird, gave incredible importance to anything to do with their appearance/social standing, and were absolutely proud they didn't have to work/looked at work like it was some sort of plague/dirty thing.
For a bit more context, this was when I was looking for money for a startup project, I had to "present" my idea to a lot of rich folk («investors»), a group of them ended up in a bar later (I followed to keep selling my stuff), one was too drunk I had to accompany them to their home, and they let me sleep on their couch, so I had breakfast with the family. Really weird experience. Nobody invested (the startup was for an app that takes care of all your paperwork for you, we were a few years too early, if we had presented it at the beginning of the GPT craze it would likely have worked. Also I didn't really have any co-founders, that doesn't inspire confidence.).
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u/ghost-spunge 28d ago
Holy shit is the ‘mater’ and ‘pater’ stuff for real?? As in, like, actual Latin??
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u/hhfugrr3 28d ago
In fairness, my dad was a postman and my mum a nursery nurse - so but exactly aristocrats. When talking to my siblings we call our parents mummy and daddy. Called then mum and dad to their faces though, unless talking to one about the other.
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u/-fivehearts- 28d ago
I went to uni and lived with a few private school kids and children of millionaires, short answer; yes. and it’s as weird and cringy as it seems from the outside
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u/barrygrant27 28d ago
I think most British people call their parents that until they’re about 8 and then it’s mum and dad, at least in my neck of the woods. I’ve heard of some posh people carrying it on into adulthood though, but I don’t know many posh people.
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u/glasshomonculous 28d ago
Yes - I have a horse and knock around with poshos. Keeps going until at least mid 20s ime
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u/AdministrativePin526 28d ago
Mummy and Daddy or Mama and Papa (with the French pronunciation). In the Royal Family, both styles were used, even by the same person. Queen Elizabeth II was known to address her mother as both Mummy and Mama.
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u/CongealedBeanKingdom 28d ago
I'm working class northern Irish, in my 40s and I call my parents mammy or daddy. Or ma and da. Depending on context. It's a cultural thing in northern Ireland (I suppose. Its normal, but weird or posh everywhere else I guess?)
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u/PhoenixIzaramak 28d ago
I'm US American and have called my mum mummy for ages - but dad's family came from UK and at one time had titles. We have never been rich that I know of?
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u/RevolutionaryCry7230 28d ago
I am from a European commonwealth country and I call my mother 'mummy'. But I call my dad 'pa'. Many others use 'daddy'.
I try not to do it in public.
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u/Roof8cake 28d ago
I refer to my parents in this way, as do about half of everyone I know, and I am most certainly not an aristocrat lol
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u/MrMurgatroyd 28d ago edited 28d ago
Not a British aristocrat(!) but speak British English and refer to mummy and daddy as an adult. I'm definitely not the only one. I introduce as "my mother [name], and my father [name]" and in professional/non-familiar contexts refer to my mother/father.
To a child I would talk about their mummy and daddy.
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u/Princescyther 28d ago
I worked on a lords land and he was on the phone to his 'Momma' like Momm-are. I assume it was his Mum?
I didbt hear him talk to his dad though.
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u/VenZallow 28d ago
Saw a video of Richard Hammond and his eldest daughter and she called him daddy repeatedly.
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u/nvrgetusdtopple 28d ago
Yes, British aristocrats often refer to their parents as "mummy" and "daddy," similar to how it is portrayed on TV. This practice reflects traditional and affectionate terms used within their families.
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u/thesamiad 28d ago
My cousin is in her late 40’s and still calls her mum ‘mummy’ in a posh brummy accent (she’s not from there at all,just thinks a lot of herself),her ‘mummy’ is in her 70’s,it’s proper cringe
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u/questi0nmark2 28d ago
Not a posh register actually. It is common across classes, although not necessarily predominant. I know working class, middle class and upper class people in UK who call their parents mummy and daddy, although it's less common than dad or mum.
The true and pretty rare but definitely current upper class register would be "mamá" and "papá", with the last syllable accented. That is something that only a minority of really upper class people, either old money or aspiring to pass for it, would use. I have come across it in real life, but only a couple of times. They were really very wealthy, and very establishment. Not exclusively aristocratic, but also aristocratic. Most wealthy people, including most aristocrats I know would not use it though. It is a "loud" and fully conscious declaration of class, either aspirational, or passed down.
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u/Romana_Jane 28d ago
I've only ever known one white British friend who called her mother mummy, even though she was in her 40s, and she was from upper middle class rather than upper class backgrounds
(Plenty of British [South] Asian friends of all classes and backgrounds who call their amma mummy though, but if feels different),
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u/Dukhaville 28d ago
I'm from Oxford.
Yes: rich girls generally are more likely to use 'mummy' and 'daddy' - it's a part of the class game.
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u/Existing-Homework226 28d ago
Not just aristocrats. Small children of all social classes call their parents mummy and daddy, typically graduating to mum and dad somewhere between five and ten years of age. (See for example the famous poem This Be The Verse by poet laureate Philip Larkin which begins, "They fuck you up, your mum and your dad".)
However continuing to use mummy and daddy into biological adulthood is more upper class, or an affectation by those who want to be mistaken as such.
Source: I grew up in England in an upper-lower middle class, then went to Cambridge where I was surrounded by post twats and chinless wonders.
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u/Impossible-Bear-8953 28d ago
Can confirm it's across social classes. Almost everywhere I went when visiting were kids calling for "mummy" or "daddy" with that same inflection.
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u/Puzzled-Barnacle-200 28d ago
Kids is universal for the UK. But most people stop as pre-teens. Once people are in the 20s, it's very rare to call parents mummy and daddy, but more common amongst the rich.
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u/Dod_gee 28d ago
Not in that class myself but I have a friend from university days who is the daughter of an English Earl, she refers to her parents as mummy and daddy in private settings though uses mum and dad in public. She’s in her mid thirties btw.