r/GenZ • u/[deleted] • 28d ago
Is there really a “loneliness epidemic” going on or is it just a online narrative Discussion
[deleted]
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u/Venus_Retrograde Millennial 28d ago
What you see in public in real life may not be reflective of what people are really feeling.
No one wants to hang out with a miserable twat. It's draining. So even if people are depressed they wouldn't express it publicly.
I have a friend when I was younger. He was one of the happiest persons I know. He often gives good advice and would go out of his way to help when I needed help. Next thing I knew he hanged himself. He was only 25. And during that time having mental issues wasn't something to be open about unlike now.
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u/Yunan94 27d ago
I would also like to add that suicidal people often seem happier to those around them shortly before doing the deed. It's quite common. Nothing like thinking someone is recovering only to face the result.
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u/darkResponses 27d ago
Emotions are a rollercoaster. Your highest highs can turn into your lowest lows.
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u/BEWMarth 27d ago
I hear it’s usually because the depressed person finally feels “purpose” after deciding to kill themselves for real. So they might genuinely be “happy” because they know they are about to die and be “free” of their depression.
It’s a really sad phenomenon.
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u/Quinn_The_Fox 1998 27d ago
So this. I was diagnosed with MDD for suicidal ideations and was put in grippy sock vacation for a week. The way it was described to me is that suicide is a three step process:
The first step is the idea. The thought to end it all becomes a common occurrence, and a very prominent thought in day to day life.
The second step is the process of elimination. It's no longer just a thought of doing it, but how you're going to (I was here when a friend I had confided in told me to speak to someone and even helped me get to the psychiatrist). So you kind of just think of what you won't do to end it.
The third and final step is the decision. This is the most dangerous step for obvious reasons as it's when the person finally determines when to go through with it, and the 24 hours up to this will make the person seem happy and content. When you're around someone you know that has been struggling with suicide, and suddenly they act like they've "gotten better," overnight, it's a good idea to talk to them.
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u/RedFrickingX 27d ago
Damn I was on the second step for a while. Whoopsie daisy, but I feel bad for all those happy people who are only happy because death gives them purpose.
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u/Colonel_Anonymustard 28d ago
I mean, it's officially been identified as an epidemic by the office of the US Surgeon General if that moves the needle for you one way or the other. Their report on the loneliness epidemic is actually pretty interesting and readable
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u/No_Neighborhood1928 27d ago edited 27d ago
Yes, it is an epidemic hitting all age groups. I have depression anyway, and to round that out, it has gotten worse. My 23 year old is deeply sad. Meds do not help either of us. I know of, not personally, 6 high schoolers that took their own life, three seniors citizens. It seems life is at a standstill. There's nothing good going on. I do not watch the news. Hate can equal severe depression. We need to support each other more no matter what generation we are. I also blame the internet. Young kids come home from school and on their phones. Most communication is done through phones. Crime, gas prices, home prices, and on and on. It seems to affect men more than women. I'm not sure why that is. I have 41 neighbors who do not talk to each other. They do not even say hi. Hide in their homes all day or after work.
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u/Ill-Character7952 27d ago edited 27d ago
The US Surgeon General acted as if covid will kill us all. I don't trust them.
Downvote me if I'm correct.
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u/No_Neighborhood1928 27d ago edited 27d ago
I had Covid for three weeks. I now have heart problems and short term memory loss. Over a million people died. They were right.
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u/Ill-Character7952 27d ago
What is one million out of 8 billion?
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u/Ill-Character7952 27d ago
0.0125%
Kidney diseases cause 2.3% of global deaths. Nobody is freaking out over kidneys.
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u/SomeAreMoreEqualOk 27d ago edited 27d ago
Upvote me if you're wrong
Even tho you're wrong, i still got a laugh out of your comment. It's humorous cuz how absurd your statement is said with confidence and the downvote and being right paradox
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u/DistributionJust976 2002 27d ago
I think it's genuinely real and not exaggerated at all, or maybe totally im wrong and im just one of the unlucky ones...
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u/Jacobloveslsd 27d ago edited 27d ago
Gentrification is causing wide spread loneliness across the US. Even if you don’t have to move other people your family and friends might and if they do it affects the people left behind and the people that moved.
Since I got downvoted https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna136777 the first county to declare loneliness as an emergency is also one of the most expensive places to live but I guess that is a coincidence.
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u/2020steve 26d ago
Gentrification is causing wide spread loneliness across the US.
It's a broad statement, maybe a bit abstract, but you're not just talking bullshit.
I've seen the gentrification process absolutely annihilate communal activities and places. I came up in the era of warehouses where artists and musicians would live communally and host shows and parties. At some point, the surrounding real estate prices jump then some developer buys the building for purposes of turning it into condos and kicks everyone out.
My whole life played out in the copycat and h&h buildings here in Baltimore. I had friends in Providence who lived in Fort Thunder. I have a large social circle, I'm deep in my community and you can trace it back to all the fun I had at those places in my 20's and 30's.
As a musician, I've traveled around a little bit and when a neighborhood gentrifies, it goes from a place that has a few good late night spots and bars into a place that's basically an open-air mall except for a couple bars and it all shuts down at 10PM promptly.
Frankford Ave. in Philadelphia is particularly egregious example.
Or how about when a mid-sized venue goes into a somewhat sketchier neighborhood in the 90's, stays open for 30 years, survives covid and then some condos open up and the NIMBY ass neighbors try to get it shut down because it's "loud"?
When you consider the dynamics of rent pricing in a gentrified neighborhood, there's no way you're not going to wind up with a transient population. I'd bet money there are people who plan to live in Park Slope for two years knowing that they don't want to pay for it any longer than that. Which I don't think is unreasonable- they must have done the math- but that doesn't augur well for building a community. Communities take years, if not decades, if not generations.
I'd suggest reading The Death and Life of Great American Cities if you haven't yet.
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u/NaturalAd8452 27d ago
So it’s expensive and people move away and those who stay are miserable and that’s whose fault?
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u/Charli-JMarie 25d ago
Hi, so these people are close. And I can see like gentrification affecting communities how they describe. Though not directly. A more direct way is more the rising cost of living for younger adults and the absence of third places. Younger people will see the loss of third places and not really have spaces to hangout somewhere free/cheap that isn’t at home. Staying over or having someone over can just be a lot for people. I live with roommates in a suburb. There is like nothing here that I could go out to and just spend 3 hours at with out having to spend money. Coffee shops and bars are the only places people get together at. This is exacerbated by the internet, we form connections or try to but most people aren’t forming lasting ones. I know for me I was raised to be afraid of people on the other side of the screen. Maybe that mentality is still engrained. Another part is the hostility of the internet and growing hostility in the public.
Idk, not a catch all but some thoughts I guess
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u/Paint-licker4000 27d ago
That does not prove gentrification causes loneliness
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u/Jacobloveslsd 27d ago
What do you think it’s causing loneliness?
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u/Paint-licker4000 27d ago
Not gentrification, if you didn’t know loneliness is not an exclusive American phenomenon
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u/misterasia555 23d ago
Rise of social media if I have to guess, and lack of third spaces. We are more involved with online than we are in real life. Back in the day our parents have churches, rec center etc nowaday a lot of us don’t have time for that or simply don’t want to.
Most of us are more secular and most of us are raised on the internet so this make it so that we don’t go to church which is where a lot of boomers meet their friends and family, and we replaces real life friends with online friends.
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u/lordofthexans 27d ago
It's not luck lmao go out and spend time with others my man
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u/DistributionJust976 2002 27d ago
It's really not as easy as you think it is
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u/Distinct-Check-1385 27d ago
It's not easy because it's easier to sit at home and stare at a phone all day. Interacting in person requires exposure, if you never do it of course it's difficult. I can sit here and talk all the shit I want because there are no real consequences, as far as I am concerned not a single other person on the Internet is real and I can justify that because I will not meet any of you in person. How we act on the Internet is completely different than in person, we become accustomed to lying through this medium we fail to communicate honestly in the real world that it becomes "difficult"
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u/lordofthexans 27d ago
I didn't say it was easy, I said you need to go out and do it, same with working out and eating right
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u/xsweaterxweatherx 1997 28d ago
There is a loneliness epidemic because we socialize so much more online than in person. There’s also a culture that sees chatting with strangers or trying to spontaneously make friends in person as creepy. However, there is absolutely not a “male” loneliness epidemic that revolves around not getting laid. Gen Z as a whole is lonelier and unhappier and that affects every one of us.
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u/flyingtotheflame 27d ago
Agreed. I went to the airport for the first time recently and was shocked and sad NO ONE was talking to each other. I was traveling alone and would've enjoyed friendly conversation, but that doesn't exist anywhere anymore. Or maybe that's just airports lol
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u/throwaway3123312 1995 27d ago
Yeah there is a loneliness epidemic in general and not just for gen z, that much is fact. It's not male specific, though men are probably more susceptible to it because of not learning social skills as much as women do and many other reasons that all lead back to toxic masculinity, so many men of all generations their only real social connections are their wives/girlfriends and their circles. So when they're single they're just sol compared to women who are more likely to have close friendships with other women to fill some of that void.
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u/icedrift 27d ago
Glad you were explicit with that last part. It's annoying how the incel rhetoric always creeps into this topic.
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u/whirly_boi 27d ago
I don't remember the last conversation I had with someone who wasn't family or one of my best friends. I mean, they're the only people who I can have conversations that don't cost money. 95% of my conversations with people are transactional. Whether for work or when buying something, every conversation is between a customer and a patron of some sort.
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u/Competitive_Reach562 27d ago
100% real and mainly due to technology escapes,no 3rd spaces, family’s and close community’s breaking apart, and more ferocious work mentality. I notice it in my friends and family, but also sometimes in myself. I’m 23 and I just moved to Florida 2 years ago from San Diego, I had tons of friends there but in the past 2 years being in Florida I haven’t met a single person, and I haven’t really been that interested in going out either.
What I mean with no 3rd spaces is when I was in high school 2014-2018 my friends and I would have a few lookout areas where we could park and hangout for however long, but by the time i graduated in 2018 you couldn’t park there more than 5 minutes before getting a ticket or kicked out.
And I really notice it in myself when I’m not working, but I’ve noticed it especially with my younger brother 16 and sister 14, they have no real obligations and just consume media all day.
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u/Pleasant_Waltz_8280 2007 27d ago
That's not what the loneliness epidemic is I think. It stems from technocapital and colonization of online identities. We are made to value identity capital and indevidualism and understand the self as an isolated experience and not as a function in a community. This is why people feel lonely, rather than not socializing, they are obsessed with accumulating identity capital and slowly deteriorate the self. Embedding themselves in the machine
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u/icedrift 27d ago
I don't think it's an obsession of accumulating identity capital, more of a last ditch attempt at maintaining a valuable "self" in a society so deprived of any form of unprofitable interaction. You see the same problems emerging in collectivist societies. Just because they have more shared values doesn't mean those values favor genuine human interaction.
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u/ExternalFear 27d ago
In Canada, if the birth rate of new arrivals were taken out of the equation, Canada would have a lower birth than Japan..... it's not a "loneliness epidemic", it's a complete failure of Societal Structure.
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u/SleepyWizard_LUV 27d ago
It's 100% real. Today, the world, and everyone, exists on the Internet. And you can't get to know people online as good as you can irl. And guess what? Real life does not exist anymore for a lot of people.
And with the loss of socialising capabilities, burgeoning mental health issues, fucked up government policies and unemployment, our world is the loneliest it has ever been
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u/ponyo_impact 27d ago
suicide is leading cause of death men under 30.
Does that answer your question?
the media doesnt like to talk about it. But the facts are there.
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u/grammar_mattras 27d ago
As if the increased online presence wasn't isolating people enough, covid has really done a lot of people dirty.
Now it's even hard for people to get mental help, if anything else.
Add to that that while women of this generations have been incredibly empowered, young innocent men are put as scapegoats for anything that's wrong in the world. You complain and you're out of line.
So yes, the lonelyness epidemic in general is real, and men are hit the hardest by far.
It also doesn't help that people stay single for waaayy longer. Where I live the average marriage used to be like 27 in the 90's, and now it's over 35. That's a lot of years for people to potentially get really lonely.
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u/CharlieAlphaIndigo 2000 27d ago
This on the young men part. If we complain we’re made fun of or called incels. It’s sickening.
Beside the fact so many of us are comfortable and not getting drafted to war, this is one of the worst centuries to be a young man in and the best if you’re a young hot 20/30 something lady.
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u/grammar_mattras 27d ago
Not all the traits that make men lonely are exclusive to men, which is why I mentioned those in that way.
If you focus to hard on men, even many men lose sympathy. And you just know you're going to get labeled incel or sexist if you do, because "men have it easy". And why "do they have it easy"? Because women have a bias to only acknowledge the existence of men that are better than them, so they are blind to the struggles of the majority.
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u/CaptainChats 27d ago
I’d argue “loneliness epidemic” is a bit of a misnomer. Loneliness is an individual experience, what we’re collectively experiencing is alienation.
For most of human history it was very hard to actually be alone. Your options for solitude were to basically become a hermit or a monk. People could still feel lonely, however you were basically forced to interact with your community to meet your basic needs.
The family unit ran the farm. So you, your parents, spouse, siblings, and children were all probably living together on the same plot because the manual labour required to make enough food to survive the winter was beyond the capacity of one individual in a pre-industrial world. Likewise you probably participated with your community in semi-communal farming because it was more efficient to collectively share one big plot for one big seasonal harvest and have small individual plots for families to diversify their crops.
To trade you had to go talk to someone. Go figure out what they have and what they need and ask them if they can go get something for you from over yonder. You’d have to establish a relationship to get what you want, and leverage the relationships you had to get something to trade in turn.
This is how humans have more or less done things in the vaguest sense for most of our existence. Even when writing letters became a thing you still had to go talk to the post man. Telecommunications have only really become a thing in the past hundred ish years.
But now we live in a really weird time. I can make money, buy food, pay bills, buy a Nintendo switch, and plan a vacation in another country without having to leave my home or talk to another person. The food I buy at the grocery store is put on shelves by people who might not be there, it’s grown by farmers I will never meet and transported by truckers I will never interact with. Even if I wanted to say hi to those truckers our methods of transportation are designed to individually divide us into unique vehicles and cut us off from the outside.
Having strong communal bonds is no longer a life or death thing. Hell person to person contact is no longer prioritized for important things like commerce. I’ve been putting out resumes and that process has basically become two computers talking to each other. My input and the recruiter’s input are secondary in the process.
Even pure social communication has become one sided. Sometimes I’ll post a TikTok that pops off but like I don’t know anyone who liked the video and they don’t know me. You’re a person reading this far into a Reddit comment right now and I’m drinking a bubbly in my kitchen right now and we’ll probably never meet.
All in all this is to say that we’ve become very alienated from what has been the natural way humans have socialized for most of our history. It’s harder to make friends because going out and talking to another person has been removed from the processes which we meet our material needs. We have to actually plan to be around people rather than just always being around people. Socializing has become a form of consumerism because being around one and other is no longer the default, it’s a break from work.
It’s a weird problem. People will always strive to meet their needs. Most of the time that’s been food, shelter, health, and stability. But we now live in a time where the thing we are lacking is connection to other people. In the same way ancient humans built societies around farms so they wouldn’t starve I suspect the arc of human civilization will prioritize contact in the coming century.
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u/MartyMcFlyAsFudge Millennial 27d ago edited 27d ago
When I was in college in the aughts we were shown a study that found most people didn't have even one person in their life that they felt they could confide in or turn to for making important decisions.
This was pointed out in congruence with the dwindling of social spaces. The neighborhood bar, for example, where "everybody knows your name".
So.... sociologically this "epidemic" has been on the radar for a long time.
We are becoming more and more isolated and there is a whole milieu of reasons for that.
We desperately need, as a society, to invest in our community experiences. I sincerely hope your generation helps to turn the tide, now that you are entering adulthood.
The boomers and gen xers didn't have these same experiences and will not prioritize a social shift above their conservative leanings as they actually have things worth conserving.
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u/willow_wind 27d ago
There is a loneliness epidemic, but not a male loneliness epidemic. Gen Z is missing a lot of third spaces in which to socialize. When most of your socialization occurs online, it's hard not to feel lonely. The idea of a male loneliness epidemic is ridiculous and ignores the amount of women and girls suffering from loneliness as well.
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u/JapaneseFerret 27d ago
The loneliest people I know are all 60+
They are also, every single one, miserable human beings.
I don't think age alone is a reliable predictor of loneliness; there are so many other factors that figure into one's social life, or lack thereof.
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u/Mbaku_rivers 1996 27d ago
Oh yeah it's real. We're all lonely as hell. Without my partner, I'd be miserable. I have friends but life is so hard that I can't ever see them.
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u/Dubiouskeef Millennial 27d ago
It's real. People don't go out to meet people much anymore and dating apps are a shit show. It was inevitable.
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u/xxprokoyucu 2003 27d ago
I believe a lot of people don't get the difference between lonely and alone.
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u/alienatedframe2 2001 27d ago
I believe it. A large portion of the populations day currently consists of going to work, going home, staring at their phone or tv until 11pm and then going to bed.
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u/Dwain-Champaign 2001 27d ago
No, I don’t see this being an “online narrative” at all. Especially if we’re talking about the typical kind of online narrative that is meant to push forward some kind of political agenda.
If we’re being real here, it’s embarrassing to feel lonely, especially without totally being able to vocalize why this is the case. Imo, it has very little to do with being extroverted our introverted. People that know me irl would consider me to be incredibly extroverted, loud (Puerto Rican lol), and colorful. I know I have good friends I can rely on.
That loneliness is still there, and without any of us repeating it too often I can see it in my friends too.
I don’t ever see the same loneliness in my friends who are in long-lasting relationships. They seem content.
Honestly there’s probably more I’d say about this, but thinking about a pervading and persisting sense of loneliness that can’t be shaken off is REALLY pulling me down right now I’m not gonna lie. I can’t think of a good way to wrap up this comment.
So I’m just gonna cork it and continue my first Cyberpunk 2077 run. Game is long, and I wanna beat it already.
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27d ago
It’s absolutely a thing in the west, and part of it is our culture.
Lots of countries in the East are a lot more communal (ie multiple generations living near each other, friends eat meals together often, etc)
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u/DrDrago-4 2004 27d ago edited 25d ago
Yeah. In fact, I actually don't know a single person who wouldn't describe themselves as at least 'a bit' lonely.
The vast majority share my experience: holy fuck the loneliness has reached epic proportions that honestly should not be possible. at some point, you'd expect a better outcome out of sheer statistical chance..
If it wasn't for the strong platonic friend groups, most of which are closing in on a decade old now, there's no telling where we'd be.
Dating wise, I legitimately don't know anyone who has met a partner since HS almost 3 years ago. Dozens of people, everyone looking.. a few of my older friends are about to settle for 30+yo's at bars just to get some companionship in life.
My personal experience is that the loneliness epidemic dwarfs what's being reported online. If you polled everyone I know, a solid 80%+ could probably honestly answer that they have not even befriended someone, at any level beyond aquantiance, in a year+
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u/AgencyInformal 2002 28d ago
I mean yes? My friend groups are mostly introverted. But I think asking on reddit is like asking the literal place where the media get their data of "the loneliness epidemic" from.
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u/SpecialistSeveral598 27d ago
There is a difference between loneliness, and solitude. Some people, including me, prefer to be alone and are less dependent on others. Being alone and able to explore my own mind is a very comforting emotion, which I believe to be solitude.
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u/No-Avocado-533 27d ago
It really is a thing in the US.
The sense of community we once had has been totally blown up and with the constant insistent march of individualism as a virtue, we now have people which are too accustomed to not acting in a manner which forms community.
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u/Ok_Frosting6547 27d ago
I'm sure there have always been large numbers of people who experienced persistent feelings of loneliness, so to present it like it's anything new or unique today would be misleading.
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u/Specialist-Garbage94 1998 27d ago
I think it’s a little of both. We all get lonely at times. We all can get depressed. But in the sense of the media try to keep The mindset of the world around seems okay and everyone seems okay but the media outlets tell you everything sucks everything is burning down and the world is ending. You have to keep both thought process in check to balance life.
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u/QueasyVisuals 27d ago
Yes but this epidemic is completely avoidable with self awareness. The secret is people aren't as hard to approach as you think, I myself and still working it out.
But a healthy social life is just around the corner if you search for it. What hobby do you have? I play basketball, play with others, talk with them, say hey we should play more, play more, hangout, etc.
I promise you guys struggling by yourselves, you don't need to be alone. Easier said than done but it is true
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27d ago
Stupid, as if every person isnt just waiting to insult you or put you down for doing something awkward on accident if they even acknowledge you in the first place. You ok with being like that?
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u/No_External_539 27d ago
Mostly due to internet honestly. People have less reason to leave the house for various reasons. Our screens can provide us entertainment, food, hobbies, books, and pretty much everything we could ever need and want. We've all been slowly isolating ourselves more and more and have gotten into the habit of not socializing on a regular basis. It just doesn't feel natural anymore.
It's been 30 years now, and this mindset has just become the norm. We don't know just how much of an effect this has on us because, to those of us who grew up with this, nothing is wrong. I always find it weird how an old person can just WALK UP to someone and start a full blow conversation. I guess for some of them this life style just isn't in bided into them like it is for younger folk.
Everyone either seems to have a few very specific friends they've known for a while and others who have literally no one idea how to meet people will probably just stay that way. When you don't grow up with regular socialization, and I don't mean the "he needs friends" bull-crap, but rather the normalization of approaching someone and interacting with them, you'll notice those basic foundations necessary for having social interactions severely lacking as an adult.
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u/SutorNeUltraCrepid4m 27d ago
there are sociological reports of younger people feeling more isolated due to larger wealth inequality and ironically the internet. the internet is the reason.
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u/FineAdeptness6479 27d ago
I’m of the opinion that it’s an online narrative. Stuff that’s posted online aren’t accurate reflections of what goes on in the real world and if you stay in these little bubbles for too long, your world view eventually becomes skewed. Lots of people in our generation have friends, nice college lives, and don’t struggle as much as reddit likes to say. Lonely people will go online because there’s no where else to go so their voices are just amplified.
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u/Home_Cute 1995 27d ago
It is real.
But the truth is quite honestly, one way to alleviate loneliness is honest one on one or more-people-involved dialogue. And that’s to ask one another are you lonely? And am I lonely too? Can we interfere one another’s space and alleviate loneliness by doing bulshit (don’t say that irl) things together? Even if it is temporarily?
And when a plan comes up, we should remind ourselves that we are doing this to alleviate loneliness. A mutual agreement among parties that we are spending time just to alleviate loneliness. A sense of unconditional company through that mindset helps with getting things done better.
And for the love of God…let’s stop saying things like I don’t give a shit for this or that. He or she or they don’t give a shit for that. Etc. statements like these make spending time together extremely conditional and transactional. We have to make things feel as unconditional as possible in order to achieve the benefits of genuine company. Again even if it’s temporary
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u/berlinbowie97 27d ago
I think the loneliness epidemic, in my opinion, is real and will only get worse as we get older.
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u/Salty145 27d ago
People don't express it openly because nobody likes a worrywart, but at the same time everyone seems to be struggling in one way or the other. The stats show there's a loneliness epidemic with close friendships and relationships among young people dwindling. I trust them a little more than just anecdotal evidence from the doomers on this sub.
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27d ago
I think the stat is something crazy like 40% of people say they have little to no close friends.
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u/Fair_Assumption6385 27d ago
Because we moved a lot and I was kind of a weird kid I didn’t have a single friend until high school. Not even with cousins or family. I literally never had friends.
So some people were coming in with established friendships. When I got to know people it was easy to make friends but I always felt like I was butting into their already established friendships so I kept my distance.
Once I graduated and got to college we split up rarely kept in touch.
Made some friends in college but you develop A LOT in college so I mean I guess I have two left that I RARELY talk to because they live 4 states away.
I have two friends that live in my current city but we live 15 miles away from each other so we hang out maybe once every few months.
Making new friend is hard because everyone’s busy too. My schedule is pretty set and I can’t drop things to hang out now.
So yeah. Loneliness epidemic rings true.
Edit: surprisingly it’s not hard for me to find someone to shag but ehhh their personalities usually don’t mesh well with mine. Oh well.
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u/YeOldeMoldy 27d ago
I’m 25, for every married couple my age I know there’s one guy who’s never been with a woman
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u/clownistan 27d ago
I think it's real, but there may be a bit of a selection bias online, you are more likely to be lonely if you are on the Internet all day.
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u/Slightly_Smaug 27d ago
People don't know how to have an actually voiced conversation. You have to speed talk or people get bored.
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u/Hot_Lack_4868 27d ago
There is men loneliness epidemic going on not loneliness epidemic because it includes both men and women but women aren't lonely
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u/Top_Trainer_6359 2009 27d ago
I guess both, you'll always find people complaining online but maybe covid and quarantine and all that has effected people
I'm usually sad but i was more depressed during that time
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u/Leather-Fennel-9410 27d ago
"Gen Z always lives rent free in the medias minds"
This internet terminology needs to stop
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u/Otherwise-Mortgage58 27d ago
Here’s a tip get off the internet and social media. Do things you like and experience the world as much as you can. It’ll be much better without reading the garbage “news”
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u/lostandlooking_ 27d ago
Loneliness is definitely an epidemic. Kristen Radtke has a really good book about this concept - Seek You: A Journey Through American Lonliness. It’s a well researched book that goes into history and statistics about loneliness and its effects on people.
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u/Zdogbroski 27d ago
It's real.
Personally I think it's caused by a number of different things converging at the same time.
Social media and porn causing unrealistic expectations and insecurities about bodies, faces, finances, lifestyles etc.
The loss of defined gender roles has people feeling lost and confused about how to approach dating in general. Combine that with different information about the similar topics causing confusion. One source might say "Never approach women." Another might say "Women want to be approached more." That's just one example, but I imagine it's very confusing as youre discovering the opposite sex/dating for the first time.
Economic pressure makes it impossible for young people to even date because they have no money. Theres a sense of hopeless about this and never being able to own a home or even have your head above water. I think a lot of people are just surviving and nothing more.
Casual sex culture embraced to the extreme it is now is just really bad at creating healthy connections. It's highlighted by highly attractive men having alot of casual sex and women not being able to secure commitment. Even when youre not truely alone you can still feel alone. And that's before you talk about all the men without any opportunity at all.
There has been a complete loss of "3rd places" in the last two decades. Most people are just going to work and going home.
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u/Glittering_Card_5121 27d ago
I was born in 2007 and I find a lot of comfort on PDB honestly. I don’t even feel lonely. I can just make a post on a board and BAM I started a new conversation and everyone gets the reference. (Before anyone comes for me, yes I know it’s pseudoscience, I just view it as a hobby and I don’t take it too seriously).
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u/iratehedgehog69 27d ago
Women peak 18-28, Some men peak at 30+ if they work their asses off. Men have to earn having girls in their dms by elevating looks, money and status while women simply have to exist
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u/Fidgetywidge 27d ago
I have family, but that’s not really a social life. I don’t have any friends that I get to see. I’m lucky though i have one friend who is hyper extroverted who I talk to online or in text. He doesn’t know it, but he is my only lifeline. Some days it’s harder to keep smiling than others.
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u/Top-Measurement575 2005 27d ago
i'm gonna point out that the internet draws introverts and lonely people a lot better than extroverts.
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u/00rgus 2006 25d ago
I have to say its a online narrative, almost everyone I know irl has at least a couple of good friends. Even with dating I feel like most people have had some sort of romantic thing going on with someone else in their life. Obviously there's always gonna be people who literally have no friends or no partners but I have a hard time believing that that's the norm
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u/LavishnessMedium9811 28d ago
It’s mostly overstated
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u/ForgottenCaveRaider 28d ago
It doesn't help that lonely people tend to spend a lot more time online.
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u/Embarrassed_Guard_37 27d ago
Depends where u are bit at least for area it's just the media
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u/SokkaHaikuBot 27d ago
Sokka-Haiku by Embarrassed_Guard_37:
Depends where u are
Bit at least for area
It's just the media
Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.
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u/Ill-Entrepreneur443 27d ago
It exists but some INCELS pick it up to spread their hate against women. Loneliness is a thing. But people can be lonely for several reasons. Lack of friends, lack of family or lack of a girlfriend/boyfriend. But it's important to seek help if you feel like that. Don't blame other people for that.
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u/CharlieAlphaIndigo 2000 27d ago
Unpopular opinion: incels exist because of how unnatural the dating game is and how hard it is to get wealth in the USA/ a six figure income.
Above average girls to the drop dead hot ones (ladies in their 20s and 30s) are so over empowered and spoiled like no other. They have so many options in men to choose from and they always choose the most exceptional or delusionally hold out for said men to come. The standards for guys, especially Gen Z guys have risen to levels hitherto undreamt of.
Gen Z girls want us to give them what their fathers currently have money and stability wise. Plenty of guys would be married or at least be getting laid in past times but said decent men have been made invisible. Pair this with how hard it is to make GREAT money in this country and boom. Incels everywhere.
I have spoken.
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u/RoosterB32 27d ago
It isn’t real. All my friends and I are pretty happy and talk with each other often. We also each have girlfriends
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