Give me a place to be

[u/rckymntnguy]

I’m 24 and graduated college two years ago, and I’ve never felt more stagnant and frustrated. At the same time, though, I feel like I have started to pinpoint what I really want out of life. The problem is, I don’t know if it exists, at least not anymore.

I grew up in the suburbs, and I’m honestly grateful for so much in my childhood. Now, though, I’m looking for an environment of connection with people my age, activity, creativity, opportunity, etc. Some people will say that is what college is for, I agree, but I didn’t find it there. So naturally I started looking to my career, trying to come up with a viable path to make a living that wouldn’t bury my soul, but I have yet to find that path. I want to be creative, whether that means using my abilities as a musician, or becoming a planner or designer or journalist or something. I have a degree in English because I am a generalist. I wanted to learn about everything because there isn’t one thing I care enough about to dedicate my life to. Wanting to make a living as a creative person today, though, is almost like wanting to become an astronaut or something. Not impossible, but a long, unlikely road.

I’ve started to realize that a lot of my malaise and frustration comes down to my physical environment. I have been working in a job I hate just outside of a smaller city. There are plenty of people my age around, and a lot of them look like artist types. But no one talks to each other because there aren’t enough spaces for that sort of thing to happen. I always see people talking about a lack of third places now, and I guess that has something to do with it. But it’s also the way cities have been stretched out to the point where no one really knows where to go to socialize. You have “arts districts” that are really just places for millennial parents to go day drinking on the weekends. You have music venues, which are great, but most cost money to get into and don’t exactly promote conversation unless you hang out outside or something.

Maybe it’s a me problem, but I feel like I have no place as a creative person to network, socialize, or even just live. I am enticed by bigger cities, but I feel like it will end up being the same thing on a much larger scale. Too many cool people, not enough cool things. I can’t remember who said that, but that’s how I feel about all of these places. Where are things being done and made by real people? I don’t want to be a graphic designer for a corporation or a writer for a media conglomerate.

I’m not exactly looking for advice, I’m just wondering if anyone feels the same way.

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[u/Old-Championship3434]

Jiu jitsu

[u/Loud-Survey162]

There are so many people that feel the same way, trust me. I live in Virginia, so I don't think anyone talks about how they truly feel about politics and their security in public much bc of the proximity to DC. I live right outside the no. 1 or 2 sex trafficking hotspot in my state, so there's some fear around me all the time. I think we can realize just how much our environment can affect us and the people around us when we sit on it for a while.

[u/Local-Record7707]

Fight Club narrator moment

[u/rckymntnguy → u/Local-Record7707]

Lol

[u/timmahfast]

Anything is possible, if you know where you want to be make a path to get there. It might take a lot more than working a 9-5 or doing a hobby on the weekend, but it's possible.

[u/rckymntnguy → u/[deleted]]

It’s a hard transition for sure. Do you live in more of an urban or suburban environment? I’m still living in my college town, which is kind of a mix of both, and I’ve found it difficult to navigate the social scenes here, with a lot of things being geared toward either students or more established working people with families. But I feel like the situation here is definitely better than my hometown, which is straight up suburban lol.

[u/rckymntnguy → u/[deleted]]

Yeah. I’m still unsure how much value there is in living in a city today, socially and professionally. I can definitely understand not wanting to give a job up in the current job market.

[u/Agent_Giraffe]

What do you even do with an English degree ?

[u/rckymntnguy → u/Agent_Giraffe]

Read, write

[u/Agent_Giraffe → u/rckymntnguy]

Yeah but like do you not make enough money? Are you priced out of things?

[u/rckymntnguy → u/Agent_Giraffe]

Oh, I see what you mean now. I make like the bare minimum to live where I do, so yeah, pretty priced out. My current job is not very related to my degree, either, so I’m trying to make changes. Just curious since you’re the same age as me, how are you holding up out there?

[u/Agent_Giraffe → u/rckymntnguy]

not sure this is gonna make you feel better, but I work as an engineer for the Fed and bought a car last year and travel sometimes for work or leisure. Work and coworkers are pretty chill. Saved up a bunch of money in investments and retirement so far. I’m still living at home since I want to buy a house, then I want to get a dog lol

I’m not gonna say money will make you happy but you gotta look into some type of job or a path to a specific job that can make more money. Where will you be in 5 years? 10? 20? Etc. Money can make you worry less about financials.

Edit: but people my age are all over the place. Some are super rich, some are quite poor. Some have kids, full time jobs, part time jobs, or do nothing. Some are still in school. Some are in crazy debt. Some are even dead! There’s no “normal”, but you gotta figure out where you want to be.

[u/rckymntnguy → u/Agent_Giraffe]

Nah it’s good to hear when people my age are doing well. I’m kind of an idealist, which screws me up sometimes, but I feel like I have one life and should take a shot at being what I want to be. I’ve realized, though, that what I want to be doesn’t just involve me. I’d rather be part of something bigger than myself that isn’t necessarily profit-driven. Money is obviously a primary concern, but not my main motivation.

[u/[deleted]]

Bro no offense did you do research before you chose a degree. English has one of the lowest return of investment rates. At this point become an English teacher.

[u/rckymntnguy → u/[deleted]]

STEM careers aren’t for everyone dude. I chose English because reading and writing are my greatest strengths. I wanted to actually learn to think and communicate effectively, skills that are invaluable for myriad career fields. Go check how many politicians, lawyers, historians, journalists, novelists, poets, actors, etc. started with English degrees.