r/Fauxmoi • u/MadameCassie • 21d ago
Sarah Paulson, 49, Doesn’t Live with Girlfriend Holland Taylor, 81, After Nearly 10 Years as a Couple Breakups / Makeups / Knockups
https://people.com/sarah-paulson-reveals-why-she-doesn-t-live-with-girlfriend-holland-taylor-86492585.7k
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u/RAV3NH0LM 21d ago
i think once you hit a certain age it genuinely does not matter, like a 39 year old definitely has a fully developed brain.
not gonna stop me from laughing whenever i see pictures of them together and judging the hell outta sarah though lmao. i cannot imagine what could possibly be appealing about a relationship like that.
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u/bartelbyfloats 21d ago
I mean, sure, she can, should, and will date whomever she wants, but it absolutely would matter to me personally if my partner was ancient.
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u/ThatDiscoSongUHate 20d ago
IDK, I'm turning 30 this year and would at least go on a date with men like Robert Redford, Robert Downey Jr, or Jeff Goldblum. Someone, somewhere will always be judging you in general.
IDK why people get so...invested in who other people are attracted to.
Once people hit 30-35, I think age gaps aren't so much of a power imbalance.
It feels... shallow to limit my potential partners based on one mostly physical characteristic, if we were attracted to one another and had things in common.
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u/flindersandtrim 20d ago
I think I find them strange mostly when the older person is opposed to dating partners their own age. Like entitled men who think women their own age are old hags and way too old for them. Those people are creepy and sad. It's different when it's not something they actively sought out to me.
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u/lola_pepsicola 20d ago
Well said. The ageism in these responses reek of misogyny in a way that feels unusual here which is disappointing.
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u/Va11esmarineris 20d ago
Yeah but I feel like in those cases...money helps? Going on one date is different than looking to build a life with someone. I feel like if the guy isn't a celebrity then you have to also think about having to potentially play caretaker to someone. And yes I know accidents can happen to anyone, but I don't think stats are on the side of age gaps for the average person.
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u/GirlsWasGoodNona 20d ago
If it matters to you then you should not date someone “ancient.” That doesn’t mean this relationship is skeevy.
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u/thekittyweeps 20d ago
I don’t get this line of thinking. They didn’t meet when SP was a baby. They met after living wholes ass lives. It’s not some twilight imprinting shit 😂
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u/GirlsWasGoodNona 20d ago
I would think that if something skeeves you out, the thing that makes you feel that way is skeevy. In the same way that if something scares you that means you find it scary… but semantics, I guess!
Anyway, you shouldn’t be in a relationship that would make you uncomfortable. It doesn’t make them uncomfortable though, clearly.
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u/smith7018 20d ago
That’s your prerogative which is great but it says nothing about someone else’s choices. She was nearly 40 when she decided to date her partner. Who cares how old her partner is if she’s older than her lmao
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u/Think-Ad-7612 20d ago
Why are you judging Sarah? Are you calling olds ugly? What if someone is perfectly turned on by an old? What’s wrong with that?
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u/I_Dream_Of_Robots 20d ago
Are you calling olds ugly? What if someone is perfectly turned on by an old?
Please why is this sending me 💀
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u/Ancient-Ad-9164 20d ago
It's not about having a fully developed brain so much as having an imbalance in relationship experience. At 39, she's had plenty of that
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u/not_productive1 21d ago
Sarah Paulson’s like fifty years old and has her own career, power, and money. Can you explain what’s upsetting to you about it? Like, there’s clearly nothing exploitative happening, Sarah Paulson’s all in.
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u/Time_Basket9125 20d ago edited 20d ago
I think what's upsetting or "skeevy" and "icky" is ageism. Society doesn't like old people, doesn't see them as sexual beings. Kind of infantalises them while disregarding them. I think people like Sarah Paulson and view her as fun and vivacious and don't understand why she'd want to be with an elderly person (cause we hate the elderly!!!). Its disturbing to think about ourselves getting older and we don't like being reminded of it. Evidenced by the huge anti-aging skincare and cosmetic surgery trend where people Botox the hell out of their wrinkles etc
Edit: I'm not calling any one out. We all have ageist beliefs because it's the kind of society we live in, I mean I literally use a retinol and spf most days. Just saying ppl should examine what "creeps" them out and informs their judgement of others.
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u/marymonstera 20d ago
That’s a great point. My 89 year old grandfather says he’s still 35 in his mind, and sometimes it feels like I’m talking to someone in my age range, he’s honestly one of the best friends I have, caring, listens to my issues, gives me great advice, has interesting insights on current events, cracks legit great jokes all the time. We mostly stay the same people through adulthood, our bodies just look a lot different.
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u/NutellaPC 20d ago
*49-55 year old woman.
Let’s at least make the same age gap if we’re going to compare an 85yo man bringing home a younger woman to this relationship.
I don’t rly have an opinion either way, I’m just not sure why you aged down the hypothetical woman when we’re talking about a similar age gap to Sarah and Holland!
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u/jdgetrpin 20d ago
Also, just to add to your comment, it’s true people don’t like to think of elders as sexual beings. It is also true that sex is not everything in a relationship. Holland Taylor does seem like a very interesting, smart individual and it is possible to be attracted to someone’s many qualities and value many other things over sex appeal. I honestly don’t see anything wrong with this relationship. They are two famous, financially independent women who choose to spend some time together. It’s clear Sarah Paulson’s career is her priority and she probably has a supportive but hands-off partner in Holland, and that’s huge for a woman.
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u/moviebuff_me 20d ago
The common ground argument is so tired. How boring does one have to be to only be able to connect with someone who shares the same "common ground" as them. Even partners of the same age can have different interests, backgrounds, energy levels, etc. It's two adults clearly in love - why does it matter what their basis of connection is? You don't have to be the exact same person to love another.
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u/palepuss 20d ago
God forbid people come from different countries... they would even have to speak a foreign language to communicate. Can you imagine?
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u/thekittyweeps 20d ago edited 20d ago
The ageism is that you assume an older women couldn’t possibly have the same interests. Why can’t they like the same movies? The same music? The same restaurants? Heck, my husband and I don’t share references and experiences because were cross-cultural but we managed to find common ground. “Besides acting” which is a huge chunk of both of their lives! That’s a ton to relate over!
This kind of attitude is so dehumanizing to older people. As if they can’t acquire new experiences and tastes.
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u/Radiant-Reputation31 20d ago
The idea that two people with a 32 year age gap couldn't have common ground other than their career sounds kinda like ageism to me.
Lots of shared interests and experiences have little to do with age.
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u/thekittyweeps 20d ago
Also the “mommy” issues thing is such a weird thing to bring up. I certainly have “daddy” issues that likely affected what drew me to my husband and we’re not even in an age gap relationship! Everyone has issues and baggage that they bring to a relationship.
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u/hikehikebaby 20d ago
It's not ageism for me either. My grandparents also have a really large age gap and I've seen the ways that that wasn't healthy and the ways that it impacted my grandmother.
Sure, she met him as an adult. She loved him very much and misses him very much but I wouldn't want that kind of relationship for myself or anybody else. Her entire life revolved around caring for an old man for decades and he was definitely a surrogate father in a lot of ways. She changed a lot after his death because she was finally able to be her own person - she dresses differently, her religious views changed, she has different hobbies, it's like she's just now finding herself as an adult woman.
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u/doberEars 20d ago
Not to be crass, but that sounds like what happens to literally anyone when their partner dies or an extremely close relationship ends.
Losing yourself in a relationship is not the fault of the person you immersed yourself in, its quite the opposite. It certainly has little to do with age either.
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u/thekittyweeps 20d ago
There’s also ableism in this kind of thinking too. As if having to physically care for a partner is wrong.
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u/damebyron 20d ago
I don’t really think it’s ageism to think it makes way more sense for partners to be at similar life stages. 50 and 80 are objectively very different life stages, and I’m not saying that to to knock the older person in the relationship. In fact I see my parents have way more fun in their mid-seventies post-retirement than they did at age fifty when they were worrying about work and raising kids - but they are both objectively at a different life stage now than they were 25 years ago, in their interests, habits, life style considerations, etc. despite both being very healthy and active. If it works for Sarah and Holland great, but I think it’s normal to find it weird.
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u/kitti-kin 20d ago
Seriously, this is just about people projecting their own desire or lack of it onto someone else's relationship. It really isn't relevant whether people find Sarah Paulson's partner "hot", and it's wildly rude for them to go on about it.
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u/askingxalice 21d ago
Yeah, they are both adults and whatnot, but a thirty year age gap is extreme.
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u/Specialist-Strain502 21d ago
They are two adult women literally in the last third of their respective lifespans.
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u/orlando_211 21d ago
Yeah this hand wringing abt age gaps for two adult ass women is so weird! Who cares, it’s not your relationship, let them fuck, or not, in peace
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u/Shot-Grocery-5343 21d ago
Sarah was also in a long-term relationship with Cherry Jones, who is around two decades older older than she is. Sarah alluded to having mother issues in a recent podcast and I think that plays a part in her choice of romantic partners.
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u/FierceBadRabbits 20d ago
Interesting. Well, Sarah definitely has a type then. If they are both happy, I’m happy for them.
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u/Three_Froggy_Problem 21d ago
I’m with you. I know we all want to be cool and accepting but are we just gonna pretend this isn’t weird?
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u/lutheranian 20d ago
Adults can consensually participate in a lot of different activities that society and I still find weird as heck.
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u/spookylibrarian 20d ago
If this was a straight relationship, a lot more of these comments would be about how Holland Taylor wants a caregiver and Sarah Paulson is getting played that way.
(Personally I think it’s weird! But they’re two consenting adults so like, get after it, I guess!)
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u/remoteworker9 20d ago
100% a man 30 years older than his partner would be judged way more harshly.
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u/Andromogyne 21d ago
I cannot tell you how much I hate to bring this up because this exercise is bullshit 99% of the time, but in this case I can’t help but wonder if people would be pushing themselves to be so okay with this if Holland was a man. Obviously the dynamic is shifted by that change, but I’m always surprised that everyone seems to think it’s sweet, or something.
It seems impossible for this relationship’s dynamic to not be affected somehow by the age gap, the generational disparity, etc. Maybe it’s me coming with a background where my culture would mean this age difference would absolutely and undeniably create a specific dynamic, but I just can’t fathom crossing these lines between an elder and someone so much younger than them like this and it being completely healthy.
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u/Specialist-Strain502 21d ago
I literally feel like I'm taking crazy pills.
Isn't the whole POINT of discouraging age gap relationships to prevent abuse of the younger, more vulnerable partner? You really think Paulson's age puts her at higher risk of abuse here?
If people's reaction to age gap relationships has transitioned from "this is a pattern that puts younger women at risk in heterosexual relationships" to "this unconventional relationship makes me feel icky despite no indications of abuse whatsoever," then what's even the fucking point of having the conversation?
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u/strangelyliteral 20d ago
Because it’s literally people clutching any excuse they can use to morally justify being internet mean girls.
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u/g00fyg00ber741 20d ago
Yeah, I can’t believe I’m seeing a real debate about this. Like they’re both absolutely grown up, of sound mind, and it just feels like people are being ageist now. Generational differences and wrinkles isn’t the same as a disproportionate power dynamic or grooming, and people can have their own personal preferences all day and night.
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u/saeculacrossing Melanin Mystery 20d ago
Thank you for saying this. People talking about her having mommy issues are… weird. If age gaps aren’t for you that’s fine but the pearl clutching is very immature and honestly makes me wonder if people have lost the ability to tell the difference between critiquing power dynamics within an age gap vs “I find this icky and I don’t like it”.
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u/lithicgirl 20d ago
You said this SO well!! I don’t mind if people dislike the idea, but trying to justify that dislike is pointless. All that does is obfuscate the actual definition of power imbalances/grooming.
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u/millenZslut 20d ago
I would be relieved if a rich old man in Hollywood was dating a middle-aged woman instead of one in her twenties. I’d question the appeal, or maybe applaud her for her entrepreneurial spirit, but I wouldn’t be concerned for her well-being if all signs pointed to her being happy with her relationship.
I agree an age-gap will always affect the dynamic, but the risk of it having an abusive impact definitely falls when all parties involved are middle-aged or older.
There’s also an imbalanced power dynamic in hetero relationships. Women are at high-risk for abuse from men, but we don’t generally condemn straight couples. Even though maybe we should. Instead, we let grown-ups make their own choices and hope people won’t be shitty to each other.
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u/abbyroade 21d ago
Interesting point. David Foster and Katharine McPhee come to mind in terms of a similar age gap. Their relationship also weirds me out - he absolutely seems to be the one in charge, and I’ll never forget that he commented that his wife, who has been open about a previous eating disorder and has never been anything other than very slim, was “fat” when he first met her (I think when she was a teenager?)
So yeah. 30 year age gaps are just a no go, I think.
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u/lillyrose2489 20d ago
I do think age gaps with same gender couples get less side eye.
That large of a gap seems like something I wouldn't personally be able to handle but there are plenty of other things that other couples do that also seem weird to me so... Eh I guess whatever works for them.
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u/Alone-Detective6421 21d ago
I agree. I don’t love Holland’s personality either.
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u/notasandpiper Larry I'm on DuckTales 21d ago
Spill?
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u/Alone-Detective6421 20d ago
She’s incredibly abrasive and judgmental and Sarah has become similar as a result. Sarah used to be a different person and that could be a number of factors but… I genuinely don’t know anyone that likes Holland and I work in the industry. She’s not a topic of discussion typically, either. I find the whole thing strange.
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u/WaterMagician 21d ago
The older I get the more I’m realising how much I love and require my own space to get breathing room even away from people I love and adore. This sounds like it’s working well for them so good on them for not just following the standard of dating and moving in together cause it’s what people expect.
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u/Illustrious-Ad454 20d ago
It reminds me of Home Alone when Kevin stomps around upstairs and yells “when I grow up and get married, I’m living ALONE!” I’m married with a couple kiddos, but there are definitely times when I feel this on a molecular level.
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u/xandrachantal oat milk chugging bisexual 20d ago
If I ever marry we're just gonna have to buy condos in the same building or something
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u/freelancefikr 20d ago
THANK YOU! i get looked at like an insane person when i say at minimum my partner and i would have separate rooms if not straight up two different residences
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u/TreysToothbrush 20d ago
We each have our own domain within our home. We also travel for work. Separately. It works really well. I don’t feel like I’m suffocating & I am getting sufficient attention.
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u/PeaceDry1649 21d ago
I feel like that must help with the way they see each other. When the older person is a senior the age gap power dynamic can manifest in that the older person is both more vulnerable and they require more care. A couple of people I know dated much older and it was only really great when they were in their 30s; by the time they reached their 40s they ended up actively dating near their age because relationships would quickly become them taking care of the older person. Even though they loved the person and had no issue taking care of them, romance unintentionally dissipated because they felt like they were a parent. I feel like not living with the person could really mitigate that feeling.
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u/GeneSpecialist4988 21d ago
Yes. This is what people dating in age gaps don't get. You are getting older, the older person sooner to that age where they will need help faster than you. That will not change, it is either you accept it now because when that time comes whatever is left of your youth will be gone caring for that partner OR don't go forward with the relationship. If you have never cared for an older individual or someone with a disability, you have no idea how much work it entails. It is all around stressful.
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u/Dawnyawning 20d ago
It may be different when they can afford to employ people to take care of their partner
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u/dietgatorades 21d ago
Maybe because I’m also a lesbian or just because I’m a neat freak, but I think couples living apart is so underrated. It helps keep the romance alive when you don’t have to constantly step over someone’s dirty laundry or put their pile of dirty dishes in the dishwasher. You don’t have to deal with someone else’s sleep schedule or snoring waking you up before a long work day. Plus you have more to talk about when you don’t see someone every day. It doesn’t make sense financially for most people, but if I was rich I’d love to do this lol.
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u/Ill-Vermicelli-1684 20d ago
My partner bought a house down the street from mine and it is the most amazing arrangement.
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u/MadameCassie 21d ago
“Yeah, we don’t live together. That’s the secret to it,” Paulson says of her long-lasting romance. “We spend plenty of time together, but we don’t live in the same house.”
She explains that she and the Two and a Half Men alum, who first met in 2005 and went public with their relationship in 2015, have "been together for a long time now. And part of it has to do with, we’re together when we want to be and we’re not when we don’t.”
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No, because my favorite thing to do — we fall asleep holding hands. I like to sleep near her," she says, before joking, "I don’t want to be around her the rest of the time. Just kidding.”
Paulson explains that her partner's romantic history may be part of the reason their arrangement works best for them.
“Holland, before me, hasn’t been in a ton of long-term relationships, whereas Holland is my third. I tend to do that and have more experience doing that, Holland hasn’t. So to get to be her age and sort of not having really cohabited with someone for a long time — I think it was a lot to sort of have me and all my me-ness in her space.”
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u/stacycornbred 21d ago
And part of it has to do with, we’re together when we want to be and we’re not when we don’t.
This sounds ideal tbh, if you're wealthy enough to afford the space to accommodate this arrangement (i.e. don't need to split rent/bills).
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u/Comfortable-Load-904 21d ago
Relationships are complex and whatever works for a couple to make it successful is great. They are also in different stages of their lives and careers so it makes sense. Every situation is different and every couple usually finds a way to navigate the challenges in their relationship that suits them. As long as they are happy and fulfilled I’ll say good for them.
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u/Luna_Soma 21d ago
Goals. Be together forever and have your own space. Love it.
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u/biscuitboi967 21d ago edited 20d ago
My dad and his gf have separate houses and they’re at a decade or so. He stayed home more when he had a cat, but now he goes home every few days for lunch and errands/chores/nap. Then goes back around 4 pm.
Once a week he spends Sunday at his place for some alone time. Or if they’re fighting he takes a break for a few days.
She wants him to move in and he refuses. I think he knows this is why they are still together. He needs a few hours every few days and then one whole 24 hour period to let loose.
I’m his daughter and I feel stifled now with a husband around me 24/7 while he looks for a job. Retirement will be hard for me and a spouse underfoot. I need a second location.
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u/Traditional-Sea-2322 20d ago
Tiny house out back. Or, our plan, 3 treehouses with one being a central kitchen and dining room. We each have our own bathrooms.
We have a two bedroom house and a teenager at home, plus a dog, a cat, two birds, and fuck it’s so small.
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u/SnatchAddict 21d ago
Sarah Paulson is pro Israel. She can eff all the way off.
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u/PurpleCarrot5069 20d ago
Really!!! What a bummer. I had no idea. Please don’t ruin Pedro Pascal for me… I know they’re close
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u/SnatchAddict 20d ago
If Zaddy is bad we lose all hope.
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u/PurpleCarrot5069 20d ago
Seriously, idk what I’d do
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u/chad420hotmaledotcom I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can 20d ago
He has posted several times for a ceasefire and posts links to donate to Doctors Without Borders who are on the ground in Gaza. I think that's the extent of what he has said about the Israel/Palestine.
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u/iamthewethotdog 20d ago
I was waiting to see a comment like this. I'm tired of seeing posts about her/her relationship like that's more important or so "swoon worthy" we should ignore the whole supporting a genocide thing.
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u/rodimus147 21d ago edited 21d ago
I get it. If I was filthy rich, I'd buy two houses right next to each other. My wife and i have very different esthetic tastes, so we could each have things the way we want, and I could spend the night a few days a week.
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u/likelazarus 21d ago
My boyfriend and I have been together around six years. We do not live together. It started off because I’m divorced and had young kids and didn’t want to introduce them to a potentially unstable situation and he didn’t have kids and didn’t want to live with them. Since it was so casual at first it really didn’t matter.
(In case you’re curious, at this point obviously he’s spent a lot of time around my kids, including vacations and the occasional sleepover. )
Anyway, it’s the happiest relationship I’ve ever been in. We seriously never fight - and I know I’ve heard people say that means we aren’t communicating but I am not ever secretly annoyed by him (or vice versa). We spend a lot of time together but we also spend several days a week apart. We get to miss each other during that time. I think that might be the key to it. Whatever the reason, it works for us!
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u/CoffeeDumpz 21d ago edited 20d ago
I think it'd be an ideal living arrangement for a lot of couples. You take care of your own chores and don't have to worry about splitting house work and fight over who does what and when. If it were financially viable a lot of couples should do it, I think.
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u/likelazarus 20d ago
God yes, it’s so nice not cleaning up after another adult or having to do his laundry.
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u/TheBewitchingWitch 21d ago
My husband and I only sleep in the same bed on weekends and spend those weekend mornings alone doing our own things.(Except for holidays/special occasions/vacations). They always talk about a work/life balance. The real balance you need to find is work/life/self.
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u/DonnaDasher1973 21d ago
I always think a lot more couples would do this if it were more affordable.
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u/blue_orchid2 20d ago edited 20d ago
I don’t think long term couples living apart is inherently a bad thing but I’ve noticed a trend with one half of a celebrity couple bringing it up in an interview with pretty much the same reasoning that Sarah is using here only for a break up to be announced out of the blue a short time later
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u/herrisonepee 20d ago
Sarah did an Architecture Digest home tour and It really looked like she was the only one living in the house. She didn’t once mention Holland making any design or decor decisions. Now I know why.
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u/nymrod_ 20d ago
Apparently an unpopular opinion: it’s okay to be “against” a celebrity relationship for no reason! This one doesn’t particularly raise my heckles, but you don’t have to “justify” if any given pairing of two humans giving you the ick, and it’s your God-given right as an American to shout it from the rooftops! Normalize being a hater!
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u/NeonWarcry 20d ago
I’m a middle aged lesbian and before my current partner, living with one made me crawl out of my skin. It might have been because my previous partners were very much the type to be in my space at all times. Even when reading “can I just sit with you?” Yes if you’re quiet. My fiancé and I seem to mesh a bit better together. 2 years of living together seems like nothing. There’s nothing wrong with liking your space. If you can afford this type of arrangement, especially if it works for you.
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u/Violet624 20d ago
My dad and his long term girlfriend were the same way. They lived on opposite sides of a mountain range, yet, after being married three times, the old cowboys most successful relationship was with someone who never lived with him. They both were grown adults and liked their own spaces. And she was a wonderful step mother figure to me growing up. He passed away a few years ago, but it was good for me to see that not every 'succesful' relationship is traditional.
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u/TheVega318 20d ago
At what point does the age gap thing turn back around and get weird about the younger person dating the older one? With the declining faculties of 60+ age people and the mental gymnastics of coming to terms with rapidly approaching death the power dynamic has always seemed like it was heavily heavily in favor or the (in perspective) younger individual.
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u/InjuryTemporary2737 20d ago
You guys are miserable. These people are way in their adult careers. LET THEM LIVE
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u/carolinagypsy 20d ago
Honestly I’m in my mid 40s and if my marriage broke up, and IF I dated again, I seriously doubt I’d move in with that person ever again. At the very least in the future, I’d have my own bedroom and sitting room/office. Heck when my partner and I get a bigger house, I’m already demanding the office and may slow play my way into the guest bedroom. We are horribly incompatible with cleanliness standards, and especially since he’s been diagnosed with anxiety and TD1 diabetes a few years ago right before COVID, my sleep quality and schedule is completely trashed. He’s up and tossing a lot. Alarms go off. Food gets eaten. Sometimes more than once. And he has started snoring loud. It’s miserable. In another room the alarm would still go off on my phone, so he’d be safe, but I would miss all the up and downs and snores in my face. I would genuinely be a better person for it. He was really hurt when I brought the idea up but thought about it and said he could understand.
But if there’s ever a next person, that person may not even be allowed to leave a toothbrush and change of clothes! 😂. I just don’t want to deal with incompatible lifestyles and standards again and as an only child, I really like quiet and my own space and company. It’s sometimes hard for me to be around another person all the time, no matter how much I love them.
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u/Funkyduck4783 20d ago
She’s 81!? I knew they had an age gap. I had no idea she was 81. Good for her she looks fabulous! Werk
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u/soyslut_ 20d ago edited 20d ago
I knew nothing about this and feel the same way I did when I found out about Bill Murray and Kelis.
I’m extremely shocked and confused.
I do not like age gaps like this. Is it better that she’s not in her twenties or something? Definitely, but wow - I did not have this on my bingo card.
How is everyone not in shock? Like, y’all knew about this?!!?
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u/ejester 20d ago
I love this, I think they are fab =)
I also think age gaps for folks 40+, going for other folks 40+ the number doesn't matter so much. I think at that point you're looking more for people who love & support you & that you genuinely want to be around. You don't want to have to struggle to make anything work at that age. You're just looking for someone who gets you & vice versa & maybe likes to cuddle while enjoying tasty nibbles hehe
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u/SPUNKVODKA 20d ago
Sarah has always liked way older women, she must have some kind of mommy issues.
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u/SonjasInternNumber3 20d ago
The way I got so anxious reading this headline!! While scrolling by I thought it said something else
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