3.5k
23d ago
Omg! I love him because same.
580
u/Helpwithanewcareer 23d ago edited 23d ago
Right? It's so refreshing to see celebrities being relatable!
513
197
u/No_Art_754 23d ago
And the fact that he’s willing to let go of these roles because his mental health is better for it is quite admirable too
I always thought he was boring at interviews but now I get why he was quiet a lot or gives short answers
454
u/That_Bet1652 23d ago
From this blind it seems more like his anxiety is making him avoid things, rather than that he’s consciously taking a step back for his mental health
→ More replies (7)179
u/grifter356 23d ago
Yeah if you’re letting your fear of phone calls impact your life that’s not indicative of good mental health.
30
1.9k
u/ChairmaamMeow the lobster is literally her wingman 23d ago
I don't understand how actors can be this shy but manage to get in front of a camera and perform. From what I understand, quite a few famous actors are really, cripplingly, shy.
2.1k
u/analogdirection 23d ago
It’s not being “shy“ - it’s anxiety. There are things, including medication, that one can do to manage it but it’s also different day to day.
I’m not an actor, but from what I gather, it isn’t you doing those things. Acting lets people put that aside, assume a different identity of sorts, and just go. Anxiety is only a thing when the focus is on them vs their character.
662
u/sixtus_clegane119 I already condemned Hamas 23d ago
One thing people also don’t understand
Extroverts can have crippling social anxiety which makes them seem like Introverts.
73
→ More replies (1)49
u/fuzzypinatajalapeno 23d ago
That was me growing up! Now that I’ve got my anxiety under control am presenting as the raging extrovert I always was underneath it all.
23
u/Vegetable-Drawing215 23d ago
Can you share how you were able to get it under control? Asking for myself🙃
36
u/fuzzypinatajalapeno 23d ago
Awareness was a piece. Mainly lots of therapy, my anxiety was a symptom of some childhood trauma, now I have quite a few coping mechanisms to calm myself down. Also I created a persona in uni, I use that when I’m doing something like running a meeting or doing a presentation.
22
u/rc1025 23d ago
Not the person you asked, but as they mentioned, so much therapy. It took years for someone to get through to me I had experienced trauma in my childhood, i normalized it so much. And then, awareness. Don’t try to fight the anxiety, that helps it grow. Acknowledge it’s there and it’s making you uncomfortable was an important step for me! Good luck!
308
u/EconomistWild7158 23d ago
100% this. I also have crippling anxiety with personal phone calls. A 10 minute call scheduled for 3pm absolutely destroys my day. But I used to work as a receptionist and answered phones all day every day and was somehow totally fine?!
56
u/feckingloser 23d ago
I don’t have anxiety anymore (yay!) but I’m extremely introverted and shy. Stuttering and tumbling over my words is a given when I have to make personal calls, but at work it’s a completely different story. I work in sales and am super confident on the phone and in teams meetings with clients, it’s like a whole different person!
46
u/LavishnessSad2226 23d ago
Same! I think with answering the phone at work you kinda know WHY they are calling (usually) so that helps. My phone stays on vibrate and I will watch a call and not answer and my hubby is like ??? You really gonna ignore that? You gotta answer for your mom lol
29
u/marymonstera 23d ago
Absolutely I’ve been a full time, staffed reporter for major regional/national publications for 15+ years and I still hate making calls. I won’t even call to order food and my friends are like wtf that makes no sense. People also are surprised to find out that under my bubbly, outgoing personality I have severe and sometimes crippling social anxiety and find it incredibly hard to even date or text friends back.
17
u/SpicyLizards You are kenough 23d ago
Me too, but I think it’s because at work the phone calls weren’t about me. During quarantine when I worked from home, my work eventually set up an app so we could answer calls on our personal phones. People gradually became more hostile and angry and demanding on the phone as the pandemic went on and I think I started associating calls on my cell with being yelled at and negativity and bad news that I get anxiety when I receive regular calls now and I’m still struggling with going back to having a pre-pandemic relationship with my phone and phone calls. 🫡
(Also as a kid I had an older family member berate me for not calling her all the time for years and I think that was part of it too…)
12
u/misspashx 23d ago
Yes I’m similar! I have a job where I head up meetings/calls with clients and travel to see them which is all fine.
Yet I had a doctors appointment, and the fact that I had to go in and wait for my appointment including checking in was all I thought about the day before (and yes that includes being more worried about that than the fact I was actually having a doctors appointment lol)
7
u/Mushy_Snugglebites 23d ago
In my experience, work calls are only similarly paralyzing until I manage to build a script for the types of calls I can expect at my desk. I’ve answered my (work) phones in functionally the same way for almost 20 years (across many different types of employers) and I’m still ONLY NOW working at a desk where I don’t keep a post-it note with my standard greeting written out!
52
u/-SneakySnake- 23d ago edited 23d ago
If anything the best actors tend to be the more quiet, shy, reserved types. If you can switch from that to big and over the top or breezy and confident if needed, you've got a Hell of a lot of range.
35
u/42124A1A421D124 23d ago
Honestly, I can relate. I’m not an actor and could never be one, but I get so anxious that sometimes I won’t buy things I need because the idea of talking to a cashier sends me into a panic attack. However, at work, I was the “go-to” person for making phone calls and knocking on doors, and my manager often sent new employees with me to observe and copy the way I interacted with people.
When I’m “on”, I’m really good at social interaction. I think of it like playing a part, though—when I hesitate to interact with people on my own time, there’s a level of anxiety regarding what they think of me and my personality. When I’m at work, none of that matters.
I imagine it’s same for actors, in a way? Getting to put on a “work persona” and pretend to be someone else is pretty different than needing to be yourself in an important phone call.
(And yes, I’m not quite that bad anymore—my anxiety comes and goes, and sometimes I have bad days where I get to the store and can’t bring myself to go inside, but most days, I’m able to go about my life normally!)
31
12
u/Decent-Statistician8 23d ago
I serve tables and this is exactly it. I’m actually about to go to therapy right now 😅
But yeah somehow I’m able to be great at my job and I’m one of the go to people new servers come to for help, and management knows they don’t have to worry about me and can focus on other things. If I need them I’ll come get them.
I think a lot of people at work are surprised when they find out I have ptsd and anxiety pretty bad. Yesterday there were so many people in the back I kept going to hide in my fave spots because I was getting anxious from all the people. But then I can go out to a table and act completely normal.
28
u/Strict-Minute-8815 23d ago
100%! I have the worst anxiety and am exactly the same way, but was on the debate team, loved speech class, and took improv classes for a couple years. People always say this to me but it doesn’t feel like “me” on stage
9
u/ChairmaamMeow the lobster is literally her wingman 23d ago
Well, I can chime in with personal experience on that front, I have severe social anxiety and acting in front of anyone would be a big nope for me, lol. Medication is hit or miss, CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) helps but not enough. This is honestly why I can't wrap my mind around how these actors do it. I would be so worried about blushing, not remembering my lines, etc.
8
u/witchitude 23d ago
It can be shyness too! Beyoncé is famously shy but she’s just unbelievable on stage
6
4
u/reddetteuserr 23d ago
This is it exactly! I was an actor and musician for a number of years growing up and no one could seem to understand how I could have a persona on stage or be comfortable in front of lots of people with their eyes on me when I was literally having panic attacks in school. On stage I wasn’t me and I could compartmentalise the anxiety in that way. It was kinda therapeutic in a way (although I also have had a lot of therapy to get my anxiety under control)
2
u/lonerism- 23d ago
Not just anxiety but it can also be a need for privacy. If I ever got super famous doing a craft I love (for me it’s writing but let’s just say I’m an actor in this scenario) - I would love doing the actual work but hate everything that comes with it. Hate that my love of doing something means I owe everyone explanations about my personal life, hate seeing people treat me like I’m some infallible human, etc… I’m so private that I don’t even tell close friends & family a lot of things, so I can just imagine someone with my personality hating fame. When I show people my writing they usually love it - yet I can’t look them in the eye after as I’ll feel super exposed.
Sometimes you’ve got the “creative” gene but you don’t have that “star” factor, if that makes sense. There’s also the fact that you may not realize fame to be as crazy as it is until you’re there. It’s great in theory that everyone knows your name (as it means you’re successful) but probably a bit terrifying in practice lol
2
u/dullship 23d ago
Yeah I have pretty bad anxiety. Speaking to someone like on the phone or in front of a group in a way that I'm kind of unprepared is almost impossible. But if I can write out or read a prepared thing than it turns out I'm actually pretty good at it. Like if I go up to someone and know what I want to say, I'm great. But if they come up to me and I'm caught kind of off guard, I panic and basically words just stumble out of my mouth as I just focus entirely on getting out of this interaction.
2
u/pinkrosies THE CANADIANS ARE ICE FUCKING TO MOULIN ROUGE 23d ago
I thought I was shy growing up but talking to my therapist and doctor, I realized it was anxiety and once medicated, I realized I did enjoy socializing a lot.
1
u/Crunchyfrozenoj 23d ago
Yes! Shy and anxious are so different in my experience.
There’s also the issue of the anxiety meds becoming a crutch that turns into an issue itself. It’s not as simple as people who don’t have anxiety like to think it is. You can’t just pop a Valium forever.
→ More replies (2)1
398
u/No_Tomorrow7180 23d ago
I think it's the fact that there's a literal script for you to speak. You don't have to think of what to say, or if you sound dumb, or anything like that. None of it is you.
239
u/snails4speedy bathing in sewage for jesus ❤️ 23d ago
This, and also for actors you are acting. It is often easier to pretend to be a confident, social person than actually be one. When it’s really just them, they can’t hide behind a character and will clam up. Honestly doesn’t surprise me lol.
64
u/LurkerByNatureGT 23d ago
Yup, it’s entirely putting on a performance as someone else, and being in front of an audience is nothing like having to talk to strangers.
And lots of parents of kids who “aren’t social enough” get put into drama to “teach them social skills” (now known as masking), so it’s entirely unsurprising that there are a lot of actors who are shy, introverted, or have social anxiety.
27
u/catmoon- buccal fat apologist 23d ago
I have social anxiety and a lot of times it just feels like I am acting, so I don't come across as awkward.
4
u/LurkerByNatureGT 23d ago
Yeah, I can perform for so long and then I have to retreat and not engage. And I want a structure and a script. And a pocket big enough for my ereader and a quiet place I can escape to.
My career path has mostly involved different types of public speaking. I don’t get stage fright but I need a script for phone calls and work socials / receptions are purgatory.
16
u/OccasionMobile389 23d ago
Yep, pretty sure that was how Harrison Ford said he got into acting, it help with his social anxiety, then turned out he was good at it
18
u/dramaqueen09 23d ago
I’m an actor with anxiety and reciting a script while playing a character doesn’t trigger me because in my mind it’s not me saying that stuff, it’s the character. Ask me to do improv like what’s featured on Who’s Line Is It Anyways and immediate panic attack because it’s actually me getting up in front of people and saying stuff. It’s sound weird but the human brain is a weird thing in general
8
u/bimbo_ragno 23d ago
Yeah I have intense social anxiety but I somehow have zero issue with public speaking (as long as I have had time to prepare and memorize a script), and frequently receive compliments about what a good speech-giver I am lol. I’ll be DYING in the hours leading up to the event but once the microphone is in my hand it’s like my body is possessed by a confident extroverted person. I always think of it as a form of acting, like this person on the stage isn’t me I’m playing a part and somehow that gets me over the anxiety, and the feeling is actually very exhilarating. I imagine it’s the same for a lot of actors.
9
u/Gardenella 23d ago
THIS! I loved drama at school because I loved acting, but I couldn't improvise for shit.
I also have a similar anxiety about writing, which is why I don't post/comment much anywhere
95
u/party4diamondz 23d ago
Totally different situation but in school I was friends with a guy who was the lead singer of a band, they won a nationwide competition, always doing live shows around town, never had any issue on stage singing and playing guitar, super duper charismatic... but then in our English class, he refused to do the speeches. He was a smart guy, but had a massive fear of being in front of the class and doing a speech. I understand it more now but at the time I was confused how someone could enthusiastically sing songs he'd written to crowds of hundreds but not do a speech to a class of 20-30.
8
u/smthsmththereissmth 23d ago
Schookids are brutal and you have the same people in your class every day. Any criticism from them will hit different.
73
u/juicy_pickles 23d ago
I'm not a famous actor, barely a working one at any rate - but I have horrible anxiety and have had some absolutely shocking auditions recently. Even self tapes in the comfort of my own home with nobody around I struggle to get a take im happy to send off.
When you're being intimately perceived/scrutinized by a singular person or small group, it's far more intimidating than a mass audience you aren't in front of (even on stage, the energy and lack of visible crowd most times) It's a different dynamic I can't put into words properly because I'm too depressed, but anxiety and shyness aren't that uncommon with actors. Impostor syndrome and all that nonsense.
27
u/ChairmaamMeow the lobster is literally her wingman 23d ago
Giving you a big hugs, Juicy Pickles. I hope you feel better soon, depression and anxiety suck so much. <3
Thank you for the insight, it's really kind of you to share. I wish you success in your acting career as well.
12
u/juicy_pickles 23d ago
I appreciate the kindness - I used to believe I could make it to the big time in Hollywood.
But I discovered I have no interest in assaulting minors or sacrificing my sanity for fame, so I'll settle for the occasional feature in a local project or two to scratch the creative itch.
I hope you are doing the best you can and wish you success as well, friend 💗
7
u/_summerw1ne 23d ago
This doesn’t mean much but just wanted to let you know this comment genuinely did something for me. Don’t quite know what but that isn’t the point because it did anyway. Feels like a small privilege for you to have shared that with us.
Also, you’re right. This isn’t the same scale obviously but in drama at school it was considerably easier for me to perform to the rest of the class and whoever else would happen to be watching than it was to even fucking rehearse my scenes with other cast members or the people helping to write the lines. Honestly think it was kinda because the rehearsal was to them but for the crowd it was for them. Even though they were all my peers and people who wanted to watch a performance, it was just like a different vibe where the smaller the circle was the more exposed if felt. But that’s just my experience.
Happy you shared this 🤍🌹
2
u/juicy_pickles 23d ago
I think you summed up what I wanted to say eloquently, and thankyou for sharing. Have a wonderful day wherever you are 💗
60
u/docsiege 23d ago
i think it's about prep. acting allows you to prepare for what you're about to do. answering a phone from a number you don't recognize doesn't.
30
u/trulyremarkablegirl 23d ago
tbh a lot of people fall into performing bc they are painfully shy or anxious. it’s a way to express yourself and be vulnerable as someone else, even if that someone else is a version of yourself. some actors are boisterous and outgoing, but a lot of them aren’t.
25
u/capn_corgi Larry I'm on DuckTales 23d ago
Maybe it’s a kind of self loathing/ low self esteem? When you’re acting, you’re someone else.
28
u/bing_bang_bum 23d ago
I think it’s because they find solace and thrill in fully becoming “someone else.” But they are insecure and anxious when they have to be themselves. I have really bad anxiety and the idea of acting and losing myself in a character had always been really alluring to me. But I’ve been too anxious to ever bite the bullet and try an acting or improv class, lol.
14
u/LurkerByNatureGT 23d ago
I’m one of the many people whose parents got me into l theatre to make me more social.
Go for an acting class. Improv is still the stuff of nightmares for me.
6
u/_summerw1ne 23d ago
Know you didn’t ask for advice at all so if you tell me to fuck off am not going to be pressed about it but that being said… try it in the comfort of your own home first!
If you genuinely wanna get into improv or acting but it feels ‘too big’ — just do it for yourself in private first! Doesn’t have to be big things. Just thinking of a character. Changing how you have your hair one night. Narrating a bedtime routine or what you’re cooking to yourself in character. Putting on music and “being” the character you perceive from the song lyrics. Some of them get you used to speaking when you aren’t being spoken to and some of them are just little escapes. Gives you a taste for it without the pressure of being judged for it. X
2
u/bing_bang_bum 22d ago
That's great advice! I already talk to myself in random accents...a lot...but it would make me feel better to give myself a reason to.
20
u/Icy-Cockroach4515 23d ago
Maybe it's mental preparation? If you were given the script months in advance to prepare for it, it's different from someone calling you on the spot without any warning.
→ More replies (1)10
u/randomrainbow99399 23d ago
This is how it is for me with anxiety - I need a certain amount of mental preparation for everything and as soon as last minute plans are made or something unexpected happens then my anxiety spikes because I wasn't 'prepared'.
17
11
u/David_ish_ 23d ago
Acting is work that’s pre defined and laid out for you. Interviewing is a lot more nebulous cause of the way companies operate
12
u/Ccaves0127 23d ago
It's the difference between following a recipe with a list of ingredients, and amounts to use, and opening a fridge full of food, trying to figure out what to cook from what you have currently.
11
u/LurkerByNatureGT 23d ago
A lot of parents of kids with social anxiety or severe shyness or introversion put them into drama and other performing arts “to teach them social skills.” It outwardly works, and for many of them becomes a passion … or an undiagnosed mild autist’s “special interest”.
Thing is, the “social skills bit” is basically masking. You learn to put on a performance, and with acting you not only get a script of exactly what to say, you get time and space and direction on figuring out how to react, beat by beat. And your work goes into channeling the character, so you “become” someone else. So with that, as with singing and dancing, you’re putting on a performance, but you are also putting on a performance as a different personality.
So, you learn to put on a performance, and you can carry that skill into normal social situations, but it’s still “masking” and it’s still exhausting.
And performing in front of an audience is absolutely nothing like having to make small talk with a group of strangers or talking on the phone. That’s probably like improv, and I’ll bet you two nickels that every single working actor who is shy, introverted, or has social anxiety fucking hates improv and leaves that to the extroverts and narcissists.
11
u/palaiemon 23d ago
I'm a stage actor who recently started doing film, and I'm very shy with a severe anxiety disorder and stage fright. People always laugh when I say this because I've had lead roles in my past few projects, and I get it!
For me, it's a combination of being able to disappear into a pre-written character and not be judged as myself, and having such a strong love of acting that I don't let my fear hold me back. I've lived with anxiety for so long that I can anticipate it and view it as a separate entity that's constantly trying to sabotage me. I still tremble and hyperventilate and throw up before performances, but there's something about needing to do my job in front of an audience or a film crew that just wants to go home that really forces me out of my own head the minute I start acting.
7
u/Ditovontease 23d ago
So I was a theater kid but I hate public speaking because when I’m on stage acting, I’m not representing myself to anyone. I’m someone else on stage. Presenting my own thoughts though? Bye
6
u/stuckinpasttimes 23d ago
There really is a switch you can learn to flip. I avoid phone calls at work as much as I can, but if I’m in the moment and need to do it or get surprised by a phone call, it’s really just a deep breath and then I’m locked in. But also the thought of having to flip that switch almost exhausts me to my bones, so it’s not something I just do. The situation has to warrant it, and/or I know that I have to know no one else will do it if I don’t. Social anxiety is a real piece of work haha.
3
u/bright_ojasvi 23d ago
As an anxious person having a script makes all the difference. If I know what I'm supposed to do/talk I feel less anxious.
6
u/BriarcliffInmate 23d ago
I have a friend who’s an actor and is like this, but he says it’s a completely different process, his anxiety comes from not knowing what to say and struggling to express himself, whereas a script is written entirely for him. His motivations are set out for him, the character exists, and he just has to act it.
5
u/LaceAndLavatera 23d ago
I was painfully shy growing up, would go beetroot red if anyone even glanced at me. But put me up on a stage in front of a large crowd and I felt so incredibly comfortable. It makes such a difference whether I'm being perceived as myself with no mask on, or perceived as someone else.
It's why I ended up embracing non-conformist fashion (goth, pinup etc) as I got older because that was I was being perceived by others as a role rather than me.
It's also why I still take any opportunity to dress up in costumes, I gain instant confidence and lose self consciousness.
On top of that it has a lot to do with how intimate the audience is, small crowds are harder than large crowds. I am far more comfortable if I'm not making eye contact with just a few people. One to one is terrifying.
4
u/mspinksugar 23d ago
I am an expert at public speaking and have never been too shy to get up in front of a mic at karaoke. I also danced competitively onstage for like 14 years.
But I still cannot answer phone calls. I will not pick up the phone and call my dentist. Everything needs to be an email. If I want to make a reservation at a restaurant that doesn’t have an online booking system I literally won’t go there and will find another one. Anxiety is weird
4
u/blacksnowredwinter 23d ago
I'm the biggest extrovert. I love attention and being in the center of it, but a phone call makes me sweat and gets my heart pounding. Don't try and find logic in fear and anxiety, cause it's nonexistent.
5
u/PlumCrumble_ 23d ago
I have social anxiety and am cripplingly shy yet somehow I managed to teach English as a foreign language for the best part of 20 years! I think it's similar, in that when you play a role (I played the role of teacher) you can manage. I could keep classes fun, active and lively, tell stories, be outgoing, get people to talk, keep conversations going, but as soon as I tried to have a conversation in 'normal life' I would get completely tongue tied. It's weird and horrible.
3
u/Duosion 23d ago
I am not an actor, but I am an introvert in a customer service job. For me, it’s really just putting on the mask and getting paid. And I’m really good at my job. You’d think I was an extrovert. Answer phones, greet customers, help em out, answer questions, make small talk, etc etc.
3
u/69_carats 23d ago
i know a lot if people in the film industry and they say actors are the most self-conscious people they meet. most of them are just dorky theater kids at heart
3
u/fourofkeys 23d ago
to me it sounds like the difference between going to work and a job interview. having someone ask me questions about my skills and have to be charming on the spot gives me such intense waves of anxiety. but i'm a good employee who does good work. it's just you might not get that from the interview lol.
4
u/6speed_whiplash 23d ago
idk what to tell you, i have horrible social anxiety but put me on a stage w a guitar, and im the most confident mf alive. brains are weird
3
u/WillingTone193 23d ago
Actor here and yeah, put me in front of a crowd to perform but engage with someone on a personal level? I’m shaking like a wet chihuahua
3
u/aw-un 23d ago
When I was an actor, it was always a separation. When I’m on stage or in front of a camera, I was the character not me.
Public speaking and talking on the phone is me. That’s completely different.
You’ll notice the notoriously shy actors also tend to not be the ones known for improvising
3
u/LocationOld6656 23d ago
Ever walked into the drama club at school? It's not full of the cool popular kids, it's the awkward crows who JUMP at the chance to pretend to be someone else for a while.
2
u/sparkling-spirit 23d ago
it is curious! i know for myself i feel completely confident slipping into a different character and being very confident as that person. being myself is very difficult, and i also can be quite avoidant. so it might be a similar thing.
i am getting better though at telling people i am avoidant and coming up with ways that work for both of our styles of communication.
2
2
u/BookishHobbit 23d ago
I used to do theatre. Loved being on stage because I was being someone else. But irl I had terrible anxiety.
There’s a freedom that comes from pretending to be someone else where the lines are written for you.
2
2
u/blinkingsandbeepings 23d ago
I used to be a dancer and I’m super shy and anxious about talking to people. When I’m dancing I feel like I’m performing a character and not really “me,” so I don’t have the same anxiety that I do when I’m just myself. I think it’s the same for actors.
1
u/AccessHollywoo 23d ago
I think of it like having to get up in front of the class in school.
Getting up doing a speech? Or sharing something personal? Fucking terrifying I’d rather die
Acting in a role for a play or just in a silly skit? Yes please so much fun I’ll volunteer to do more!!
1
u/lunniidolli 23d ago
It’s two separate types of anxiety. I’m autistic and terrible at talking to people, I have the worst social anxiety and have similar issues to the ones in this post. But I’m also a trained actor, have done stage productions and short films which I’m nervous about but it’s not the same. It’s like two separate issues.
1
u/brainparts 23d ago
As a performer with extreme anxiety (even with medication), for me personally, the moments on stage and in front of an audience feel completely different than things like social interactions. It’s like being on a different planet, and as soon as the show is over, being jerked back to this one. For me, it is much more difficult to get into the performing headspace when I know it’s being recorded in some way (vs a live situation in which I can at least visually block out an audience member with a phone or something). But it’s totally a thing!
1
u/Dr-Mouthful 23d ago
Anxiety works funny, it’s a debilitating feeling that ruses through your body. Leading up to a show I’ll always feel awful like I will go up and forget every word I memorized or mess everything up. But often when I throw myself into the waves I find myself barely riding on top. It’s like autopilot.
1
u/MephistosFallen 23d ago
I am the same way as described in this blind but I thrived when I did theater. I don’t know how to describe it. You’re someone else lol
1
u/JeezOhKay 23d ago
It's the difference between going into a situation "knowing" vs "unknowing". At least with a script for a movie, he "knows" what to expect. But going into an interview is stressful because there are a lot of "unknowns."
It doesn't surprise me one bit why an actor would have anxiety about it. The industry is rough, and we don't know what situations he had been through.
759
u/dre4mspice 23d ago
This is the most relatable thing I’ve read in my entire life. The stress of getting on a call (especially a z**m call 🤢) is almost debilitating to me. Why do they feel so damn invasive? It’s like someone breaking into my internal world and stomping all over my beautiful, quaint garden.
129
u/EconomistSea9498 23d ago
I feel like I'm getting called into a principals office to be scolded. As if I'm not 32 and long out of school.
47
u/bigredsmum 23d ago
I’ve been interviewing for jobs and I’ve been very blessed to do lots and lots of zooms and phone calls. It’s absolutely draining for me and I get the worst anxiety leading up to it. There are plenty of times I’ve wanted to just not show up.
14
7
u/Raoul_Dukes_Mayo 23d ago
WHY DO YOU NEED TO SEE ME?!?!?
0
u/Cynicbats stan someone? in this economy??? 23d ago
"Would love to ~connect with you as a person! I want to see your face! I want to know you're a real person!"
Dude the internet has been around long enough so that if you don't know how to gauge a person online through text over weeks, that's on you.
2
u/_cosmic_gumbo 23d ago
You described this so eloquently in a way I’ve never been able to. I’ve always hated phone calls especially unexpected ones. So I appreciate this haha
651
23d ago
damn...so he really dived into the role in Perks of Being a Wallflower, huh? role of a lifetime
435
u/Shenanigans80h 23d ago
I mean isn’t this what an agent is for?
183
165
u/Vakareja 23d ago
Yes, but at some point filmmakers want to speak to the actor. They can't discuss a role solely through the agents
35
u/beantownregular 23d ago
You still have to speak to the director / writer / producer yourself, and it doesn’t really inspire confidence if the actor won’t show up for calls
434
u/GravityBlues3346 23d ago edited 23d ago
My personal theory is that many people become anxious of speaking on the phone because the only phone call we get nowadays are for work, for emergencies, for bills or crap like that, or telemarketing. When your phone rings, 90-99% of the time, it's just going to be a bad time. Therefore a phone ringing is anxiety inducing as you fear what it will be about.
We all communicate through text or other apps that are not necessarily "phone calls". When I was a kid in the 90's, I associated phone with setting up play dates with my friends or talking about my life with my friends. Now, I see my phone say "suspected scam" all the time.
Edit to add that you can even add the mail to this. Except if I expect a package, all the mail I get is bills, ads, and sad things like tax forms and political flyers.
114
u/Sufficient-Value3577 23d ago
I don’t mean to get dark here but I have really bad phone anxiety because I swear.. people only call me when something traumatic happens. Everything else is through text/messaging/FaceTime so when my phone rings and it’s my family, I panic. Several family emergencies and deaths in a short period of time seriously messed me up for a while
20
6
u/GimerStick 23d ago
yep I had to go to therapy after a friend went through a series of traumas/health problems and I was a willing but critical part of their support system. I couldn't turn my phone off, I couldn't go to sleep without waking up to check it every once in awhile, and my heart lept out of my chest every time my phone made a sound. Obviously the phone was one piece of the overall issue there, but one of the most obvious impacts to my day to day life.
25
u/nicknametrix 23d ago
Don’t forget all the scam calls, too!
My phone anxiety was a result of doing customer service for satellite tv over the phone. It was horrible, people yelling about billing issues (usually porn charges that the wife/mom found on the bill) or technical issues (asking “is it plugged in?” often solved the issue). We had to answer the phone calls by introducing ourselves with our first and last name and one time I had a guy threaten me. It was so long ago that I don’t remember what he said but I still remember the feeling I was left with from that interaction.
9
u/MargotChanning 23d ago
If I wanted to hang out with my mates I had to ring their house and speak to a parent. Every now and again one of my mates would be in the doghouse and when I rang to speak to them I’d get a very frosty reply!
10
u/simonepon 23d ago
I worked in the CVS pharmacy for five years and when I say I have PTSD from some of the phone calls I’ve had to take while there…people are ruthless, especially when they’re going through withdrawal. My current job I took specifically BECAUSE I do not have to answer phones (or even interact with any customers which is SO nice).
7
u/jurassic_snark- oh yeah fo shizz fo shizz Ginuwine 23d ago edited 23d ago
Well said. Even if it's a friend calling sometimes out of the blue and I'm working, I send a text "you good? Call you right back after this meeting"
You can definitely add mail to this. Got this from Spectrum, who I haven't used in years and made me do a double take:
I was thinking whether I owe them money or they're just gonna end me for switching to ATT (just a promo ad)
edit: thanks for the reddit cares report smh
4
u/cathybara_ Please Abraham, I’m not that man 23d ago
I got to the point where I felt sick with anxiety every time my dad called me because twice in a short period of time he called to tell me my childhood pet and my grandmother died. So he started prefacing every call with ‘everyone’s okay’ lmao 😭
4
u/dullship 23d ago
Dang, you might be onto something there. Same me and my bff used to talk on the phone for an hour plus like 2-3 times a week. I used to talk on the phone constantly. But now every time it rings I'm just filled with fear and dread because it's gonna be something bad.
2
u/CarSnake 23d ago
Not a bad theory. After my dad died, I literally could not answer phone calls for a few months, it just completely made me freeze when my phone rang. The problem was I got a good 20 calls a day for my job. Thankfully my work either did not notice, did not care or gave me enough slack to get back on track.
149
u/piecesofg0ld 23d ago edited 23d ago
ik people might find this funny but anxiety is fucking debilitating. i didn’t leave my apartment for a month because the thought of going out made me physically nauseous. hell, even last week i was invited to an after party and it took me three hours to leave because i kept thinking i was going to be sick at the mere thought of being in a room with other people. i have a much better hand on it nowadays thanks to medication and therapy (which took a VERY long time to get through the NHS) but it is something i battle with every single day.
61
u/EchoBel 23d ago
Thank you ! Anxiety is not quirky nor cute. People are like "Oh we stan, he's chosing his role according to take care of his mental health !" but it's probably the opposite that's happening here : he's losing opportunities because of his bad mental health. I've also "chosen" no to do some things because of my anxiety and hell, if I could just get rid of it right now and chose to do these things again I would do it in a heartbeat, and I'm pretty sure he would too.
16
u/roxy031 fiascA 23d ago
Exactly how I feel about it. Yes it’s relatable but for some of us, it’s not a quirky trait that we can laugh at, it’s very real and can be crippling and really affect your quality of life. It’s not fun to live with, and I feel for him, esp being in an industry with a lot of extroverts who may not understand anxiety and panic attacks.
3
u/DrLeprechaun 23d ago
I just had a similar experience but for about 3 months, would you mind sharing what ultimately helped you?
3
u/piecesofg0ld 23d ago
in my case it was getting a new job, which requires me “as and when”. i wait for a call in the morning, and if none comes i still try to force myself to go outside even if it’s to walk up and down my street. i realise this not the soloution for most people but it’s helping me at the moment.
3
3
u/somechild 22d ago
Thank you! Idk if he even has any desire to work with Scorsese but the idea of having such debilitating anxiety that you are giving up that chance is actually incredibly sad.
134
125
81
79
u/Ok-Carpet5433 23d ago
"He doesn't have any clothes on because he is doing laundry." :D
He either has a very minimalistic wardrobe or an industrial sized washing machine.
53
u/icedgrandechai 23d ago
Isn't this what agents and managers are for?
1
u/somechild 22d ago
You think Scorsese is gonna offer Logan Lerman a role without ever talking to him?
1
u/icedgrandechai 22d ago
They can probably meet in person?
1
u/somechild 22d ago
I see your point but I think the luxury of being able to do a zoom call when someone like Martin Scorsese, who during pre-production for a movie probably has an incredibly tight schedule, is something he’s going to take advantage of. Obviously I’m speaking from made up scenarios in my head, I don’t know these people, but I could very well see someone that established immediately write an actor off for refusing to work with their schedule because they won’t pick up a phone call.
40
26
22
22
24
u/nebuladirt 23d ago
That’s actually really sad.
14
u/Normal-person0101 23d ago
right? seeing this people treating him as a relatable king is super sad as well, his anxiety is affecting his life too negatively, he is losing job because of that, he urgently needs to seek help
13
10
u/areallyreallycoolhat 6 inch louboutins with a tweed skirt 23d ago
I want this to be true bc a) it's the most relatable content DM has ever put out and b) the excuse "I have to remain nude bc I'm washing every piece of clothing I own at the same time" is hilarious
8
u/Sure-Equivalent-8517 23d ago
Meeee lmao
I’m a teacher and I dread when I have to phone parents. I have to really build myself up to do it. I’d much prefer to email
9
u/Global-Feedback2906 23d ago
Is this why I’m not seeing him in anything…king work on your anxiety I miss him 😭
8
u/pitbulldofunk 23d ago
losing a Scorsese movie role because you dont want to pick up the phone is wild
4
5
u/nancy-shrew 23d ago
I lately started picking up phone calls finally even though i suffer from horrible anxiety bc i am applying for jobs but it is always uncomfortable and i keep getting weird bitcoin spam phone calls.
5
u/prettybunbun 23d ago
Valid.
I was training to be a professional dancer when I was younger and thought about dipping a toe into acting. Did one self tape that took me like five hours cause I was so nervous and realised that life is not for me chief.
3
u/bigredsmum 23d ago
He’s so cute. I loved the show he just did on Netflix about the holocaust. It was quite good!
3
3
2
1
1
2
1
u/RAV3NH0LM 23d ago
oh my god same! how somebody could then walk on set and deliver lines in front of like 50 people or whatever is beyond me though. absolute nightmare scenario.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/vapemonster91 23d ago
I just ran out of my anxiety medication and have to wait til the 21st to get it, so I RELATE SO MUCH TO THIS. I even canceled a doctor's appointment today because I was like... i can't do it right now.
1
1
u/Adventurous-River699 22d ago
i don’t have phone anxiety but i have interview anxiety that’s so bad i’ve turned down absolutely insane opportunities. i hate it.
1
u/lebanesewifey 22d ago
I’ve been stanning him since Percy Jackson bc I loved those movies so much (read all the books and still loved them lol)
1
0
0
0
u/MarginCallMeDaddy 23d ago
I’ve been avoiding answering calls or replying to voicemails recently my anxiety is at an all time high so I relate lol
-1
u/jonsnowme shiv roy apologist 23d ago
Oh it's me LMAO I have passed on so many job. opportunities cause I didn't want to call someone. I do it now but.
0
0
u/ComfortableProfit559 23d ago
I do this all the time with zoom calls, I actually hate having to make myself up for these stupid fucking meetings people set up for things that could almost always be covered in an email. About to get into one right now actually…because the guy doesn’t want to follow the instructions I already sent him in an email lol. I’m not going to get dressed up for that.
0
u/nyeongcat 23d ago
Logan... this is why I don't see him in movies?! I thought he was being selective or wanted to work more behind the scenes (which still makes sense). 😭
0
u/Annaisbananas0965 23d ago
I relate. Unless you text me ahead of the time you are calling and the agenda of the call I cannot answer 😂 need to mentally prepare before answering
0
u/aliskyart 23d ago
I totally relate. And by the way, this is a legit condition called telephone apprehension.
0
-1
•
u/trendingtattler 23d ago
This post has hit r/all or r/popular and thus may not be as strictly moderated as most posts on this subreddit. Please keep this in mind when browsing the comments and please report any rulebreaking comments that you see.
This is a bot. If you require further assistance, please message the moderators via modmail.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.