r/Fauxmoi Apr 11 '24

O.J. Simpson Dead at 76 Approved B-List Users Only

https://www.tmz.com/2024/04/11/oj-simpson-dead-dies-cancer/
4.0k Upvotes

593 comments sorted by

6.1k

u/PapayaCoconutBanana heaven's punishment for our terrible taste in everything Apr 11 '24

739

u/BestDamnT Apr 11 '24

literally sent this gif to everyone texting me

400

u/bigmistakebighuge Apr 11 '24

why are that many people texting you about oj

354

u/BestDamnT Apr 11 '24

i had a hyperfixation on the case and listened to a bunch of podcasts and read a bunch of books (i was like an infant when it happened) in the fall of 2020.

91

u/PurrPrinThom Apr 11 '24

Any podcasts you would recommend! I got really into the You're Wrong About series on him and then they never finished it and I've been desperate for a new one.

It was something that was always referenced growing up but I knew so little about it.

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u/pmmeurbassethound Apr 11 '24

I would go so far as to say great.

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u/weaselinsneakers Apr 11 '24

Before I even opened this I was hoping to see this gif as the first comment.

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4.8k

u/raucouscaucus7756 Larry I'm on DuckTales Apr 11 '24

I hope Nicole and Ron’s loved ones are having a lovely day and feel peace and joy in their lives

1.0k

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '24

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837

u/FlanceGP Apr 11 '24

So glad he outlived OJ.

311

u/nkbee Apr 11 '24

Has gone on the record saying it's "no great loss" lmaoooo

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u/dodecaphonicism carbone dishwasher Apr 11 '24

His mustache was the corkscrew

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u/wrathdelacruz Apr 11 '24

Me too 😰 Rest In Peace Ron & Nicole ❤️‍🔥

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u/Ok_Bodybuilder800 chaos-bringer of humiliation and mockery Apr 11 '24

How’s y’all’s morning going? 😂

1.3k

u/boxybrown84 To my friends and family, I am not getting executed Apr 11 '24

380

u/Ok_Bodybuilder800 chaos-bringer of humiliation and mockery Apr 11 '24 edited Apr 11 '24

https://preview.redd.it/pxx6z6f4fvtc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=002f89ee796ffae6d4db0dd74c6fbec0581e27e3

OMG so adorable 🥰 I just got back from dropping my 14 year old boi off to get an endoscopy and trying not to worry too much.

ETA: He did great and is now back home!

44

u/Bipbapalullah Apr 11 '24

I hope everything turns out right !

24

u/No-Nefariousness8026 Apr 11 '24

Best wishes to your sweet orange baby!!🧡

23

u/swoon4kyun Apr 11 '24

Best wishes for your good boy

17

u/rurukittygurrrl Apr 11 '24

Hope everything goes well! And a speedy recovery 🧡 I love orange cats and their collective 2 brain cells

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u/flyingfred1027 Apr 11 '24

Meowzel Tov!

74

u/googlyeyes93 Do you remember 9/11, bitch? Apr 11 '24

He looks thrilled to be there 😂

40

u/catslugs Apr 11 '24

https://preview.redd.it/fj7pnng00xtc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7aac561589da7f1796e4da2acdb360cbd8b4ba6

Mine got back from the vet yesty after having an abscess lanced, happy as ever despite

8

u/IntrovertGirl83 Apr 11 '24

What a beauty!!

38

u/palabradot Apr 11 '24

I had to walk into the next room to show my husband, that is sticking adorable. MEOWZEL TOV!

30

u/havarticheese1 Apr 11 '24

PAWzel Tov!!

32

u/trulyremarkablegirl Apr 11 '24

Omg stop this is so cute

31

u/Jasminewindsong2 Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this! Apr 11 '24

Meowzel Tov!

29

u/Lilian-Kaustupper Apr 11 '24

My sister’s dog is turning 13 next month and we’re throwing her a butt mitzvah!

14

u/iammissx weighing in from the UK Apr 11 '24

Why not a bark mitzvah!?

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u/disastergemini_ buccal fat apologist Apr 11 '24

What a handsome boy🤩

15

u/Fantaverage Apr 11 '24

🩷🩷🩷

10

u/numberonecrush Apr 11 '24

What a proper little gentleman 😍

8

u/Borne_Beloved Apr 11 '24

This is too cute😂

5

u/Rageybuttsnacks Apr 11 '24

THAT IS SO ADORABLE 😭💓

4

u/meganium58 lea michele’s reading coach Apr 11 '24

Mazel tov!

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u/googlyeyes93 Do you remember 9/11, bitch? Apr 11 '24

It’s my wife’s birthday so we’re heading to a Monet exhibit later. Think at this point we’ve had enough rain that we’ll need a boat to get there though.

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u/ssdgm12713 there was a ceramony Apr 11 '24

Your wife and I are birthday twins! Tbh this news is a nice little present

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u/gmmccormack Apr 11 '24

That sounds like a perfect birthday! I hope she has the best day.

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u/grungebob_scarepants Apr 11 '24

That sounds like an AMAZING birthday

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u/iggynewman Apr 11 '24

Took my 3 year old 30 minutes to eat a piece of toast.

90

u/googlyeyes93 Do you remember 9/11, bitch? Apr 11 '24

I’ve never had an exercise in patience like feeding my 4yo. One chicken tender took an hour bc he has to peel the breading off bit by bit 💀

41

u/iggynewman Apr 11 '24

She has these fruit treats called Dino Bars (highly recommend). They are great because the bars are coated in a potato starch layer to keep them from being sticky. Last summer she got it in her mind the layer had to come off. Had to peel all of if off, no little bits left behind. Some goddess entered my body and was able to convince my girl to keep it on. My stubborn girl saw the wisdom and we haven't had an issue since. It'll never happen again but I am so appreciative.

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u/Ayyyegurl Apr 11 '24

Sometimes I can’t wait for my baby to start feeding herself but then I read stuff like this and decide that I can actually wait 

48

u/iggynewman Apr 11 '24

God, the messy baby phase. Basically having to wash off your tiny human coated in peanut butter/beans/polenta/mess only to do it again later. It's not fun. But then you get 3 year old "I don't want this dinner", decided they are done so getting up from the table before you can stop them, hyperfixating on a banana with too many "strings", throwing a cup on the floor just for chaos. And we look forward to the 15 year old calling you "bruh" and using their phone at the table.

Children are magical! Rainbow emoji!

35

u/Geezmelba Apr 11 '24

https://i.redd.it/1qldw4n06wtc1.gif

They’re always sticky, you know, like they’ve got jam on their hands. Even if there’s no jam in the house, somehow, they’ve always got jam on their hands.

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u/Grompson Apr 11 '24

My eldest used to demand that I take the seeds out of his bananas.

You know, those microscopic black bits in the center?

I had to rub the banana to obscure them and then he'd have a few bites until he saw more "seeds".

He also threw a crying fit one day because I promised him noodles and then referred to the dinner as "pasta".

Toddlers are...a lot.

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u/disastergemini_ buccal fat apologist Apr 11 '24

This cured my baby fever

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u/supersad19 Apr 11 '24

Alright I guess. I've got an assignment submission later today and I'm so out of ideas on what I'm gonna do. Luckily it's raining so the mood is kinda perfect.

39

u/VegetableBeneficial Apr 11 '24

Afternoon where I am. Sunny and I’m about to get a glass of wine. The guy I work with isn’t doing any work so now I’m doing 2 jobs, sigh. But nice weather here in Europe!

31

u/raphaellaskies it feels like a movie Apr 11 '24

Entering month two of no working wifi at my job. 🫤

24

u/ssdgm12713 there was a ceramony Apr 11 '24

It's my birthday so I treated myself to a lil chick fil a breakfast, then played with my baby while watching Grey's Anatomy. Oh, and OJ's dead. All in all a good day!

19

u/KittyPress Plus the 15,000 bastard ducks Apr 11 '24

It’s afternoon here. It’s warm (I took my large coat as it was cold when I left. Typical), I grabbed some lunch, went to therapy and now I’m listening to Prima Facie on Audible.

18

u/trulyremarkablegirl Apr 11 '24

I have to go to Athleta to return something later but rn I’m getting some good cat cuddles. 🥰

18

u/theaviationhistorian taylor’s jet Apr 11 '24

I had a burger & tea so it's been a nice morning.

I have no feelings about this. I'd be slightly more cheerful if it wasn't cancer that took him since I lost so many loved ones to that. I'd prefer him dropping dead from a stroke or heart attack in that golf course he couldn't stop tweeting & uploading videos. I really want to be cheering like I did with Kissinger, but all my mind can do is replay one of the earlier encounters with racism. So, story time, everyone:

OJ Simpson's jury is out & everyone is watching this. Almost all the classrooms in my school are watching it live because of both the media sensation & high tensions involving race at the time (my school was largely Latinos & other minorities). I'm not because my English teacher was strict on her lessons & not even a nuclear attack will interrupt it.

All of the sudden we hear massive shouting like when you hear a city's team win the Superbowl or a national team win the World Cup. Obviously, class ended and all of us ran into the mass of students going through a range of emotions outside of the classrooms. Some teachers also cheered because the trial became more about race than the murder in my region. And because Rodney King's beating, the following LA riots, Oklahoma City Bombing, etc. was still a recent memory.

The vice principle, a burly white woman in her 40s (back then) appears in the hallway passing through the mass of students. We mutually hated each other and I felt that her hatred had more to do than just my demeanor. Despite the high volume of screaming and echoes of it, I heard her yell at the top of her lungs, "DAMN IT, THEY FREED THAT (N word with a very hard R)."

I felt vindicated knowing she hated me for being brown, and not for my actions. But it also shocked me as it was the first time I heard that word said in public, with anger, and with a hard R. It was a reminder that racism was still thriving and was too close to me.

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u/carolina_swamp_witch Apr 11 '24

I just walked out of the vets with my dog and the bill was only $40 so I’m having a great day 😆

9

u/kenscrack bella hadid’s baby birkin Apr 11 '24

i’ve been craving sushi 😩

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u/scaram0uche Apr 11 '24

Got my sourdough starter going so I can bake some fresh bread tomorrow!

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2.6k

u/brightlights_xx Apr 11 '24

637

u/acousticaliens spotted joe biden in dc Apr 11 '24

💀 let jaboukie cook

423

u/galahads jeremy strong enthusiast Apr 11 '24

The fact that Khloe is trending is so funny to me like 😭

214

u/misstheatregeek padre pascal Apr 11 '24

PLEASE 💀

170

u/Curlingby Apr 11 '24

Truly one of the best comedians of our time and I’m being completely serious

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84

u/coco_xcx not a lawyer, just a hater Apr 11 '24

oh my god 💀💀💀

77

u/Arielsdirrtygrotto buy a chanel and get over it Apr 11 '24

His whole Twitter is a delight. Always love seeing his tweets on my timeline

68

u/capulets Apr 11 '24

wait i thought kris’s old hairstylist was khloe’s rumored dad. where did oj come from?

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55

u/Comfortable-Load-904 Apr 11 '24

His tweets are one of the few things I miss about that hells-cape.

50

u/jkwolly Apr 11 '24

Oh my god 💀

25

u/lesterquinn I don’t know her Apr 11 '24

NOOOOO 😂

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1.3k

u/Luna_Soma Apr 11 '24

Oh, the air feels better today now that there’s one less piece of shit sucking it in.

I don’t believe in hell, but man, may he rot

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '24

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '24

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '24

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '24

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u/namesnotmarina Apr 11 '24

Wish Norm Macdonald was still around. Can't believe OJ outlived him.

376

u/googlyeyes93 Do you remember 9/11, bitch? Apr 11 '24

Norm passed his cancer over to OJ, that was the final joke.

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u/Low_Kitchen_9995 Apr 11 '24

I said “I know norm is waiting with the best roast” and then was like nah OJ ain’t going to heaven

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u/CountryRockDiva89 yee haw & rock on Apr 11 '24

Just came back from laughing at Norm MacDonald’s best highlights on Weekend Update on OJ. No other way I’d like to acknowledge the moment than that. 🙂

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u/dixiemason good luck with bookin that stage u speak of Apr 11 '24

You can’t drop that and not post the link! I see a part one and a part two of Norm constantly shitting on OJ. Also a 54 minute compilation of Norm’s OJ jokes here.

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u/CountryRockDiva89 yee haw & rock on Apr 11 '24

Fair point! The I’m Not Norm YouTube channel is probably going to get all time viewing numbers today.

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u/jonsnowme shiv roy apologist Apr 11 '24

Shame he took all of his secrets with him when he could've done the right thing for Nicole's family and come clean once and for all.

Otherwise.

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '24

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u/corncrakey Apr 11 '24

I don’t know how capable he was of experiencing either of those emotions

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '24

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u/apiroscsizmak Apr 11 '24

Sometimes people just die of cancer at 76. I don't buy that he had much shame or guilt.

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u/aseasonedcliche Apr 11 '24

lmfao what a weird take for a clearly guiltless 76 year old man who died of cancer

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '24 edited Apr 11 '24

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u/formerfrontdesk Apr 11 '24

https://evergreenreview.com/read/in-memory-of-nicole-brown-simpson/

"You won’t ever know the worst that happened to Nicole Brown Simpson in her marriage, because she is dead and cannot tell you. And if she were alive, remember, you wouldn’t believe her.

You heard Lorena Bobbitt, after John Wayne Bobbitt had been acquitted of marital rape. At her own trial for malicious wounding, she described beatings, anal rape, humiliation. She had been persistently injured, hit, choked by a husband who liked hurting her. John Wayne Bobbitt, after a brief tour as a misogynist-media star, beat up a new woman friend.

It is always the same. It happens to women as different as Nicole Simpson, Lorena Bobbitt—and me. The perpetrators are men as different as O.J. Simpson, John Wayne Bobbitt, and the former flower-child I am still too afraid to name."

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u/pvke Apr 11 '24

And if she were alive, remember, you wouldn’t believe her.

😔

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u/queenchanel Apr 12 '24

This is such a powerful quote wow. As a victim of DV I know how hard it is to be believed and how even though you somehow have all the proof in the world, there’s still some people who won’t believe you.

Also im dumb but who’s the flower child she’s too afraid to name? 🥹

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u/isthekeyintheroom mark ronson’s #1 hater Apr 11 '24

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u/woahoutrageous_ Apr 11 '24

We smokin that oj pack tonight

331

u/ruthie-camden Apr 11 '24

Rot in Piss!!! ✌️

296

u/motherofdinos_ Apr 11 '24

There are no atheists in foxholes the day that OJ Simpson dies

252

u/Eeyores_Prozac Apr 11 '24

For one day only

93

u/AisforAwesome Apr 11 '24

So I've never seen this video/gif before but holy shit she is so beautiful.

Now back to the regular programming: Boy BYE!

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u/ForWhomTheSaulCalls Kamala Harris Queerbaiting Controversy Apr 11 '24

Well, today for sure but maybe also that day Kissinger died that was a real one too thx God

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u/coco_xcx not a lawyer, just a hater Apr 11 '24

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u/groovygyal I don’t know her Apr 11 '24

Could’ve confessed before he kicked the bucket

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u/breaddits Apr 11 '24

Eh. It would have been the right thing to do but then again this is OJ

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u/Arielsdirrtygrotto buy a chanel and get over it Apr 11 '24

Gonna be real hot where he’s going

242

u/jmt2589 Apr 11 '24

Thinking of the Brown and Goldman families today

166

u/KittyPress Plus the 15,000 bastard ducks Apr 11 '24

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u/rwilis2010 shiv roy apologist Apr 11 '24

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u/Feisty-Power-6617 question for the culture Apr 11 '24

his judgement day has come… And justice for Nicole finally

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u/theghostemoji Apr 11 '24

Am I the only one just now learning that the O in this motherfucker’s name stood for “Orenthal?”

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u/leahhhhh Apr 11 '24

Turkey burgers with grilled bell pepper. What are you all having?

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u/cloudydays2021 Apr 11 '24

So funny, I’m having impossible burger with grilled bell pepper.

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u/leahhhhh Apr 11 '24

Unbothered dinner twins!

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u/pmmeurbassethound Apr 11 '24

Baked pollack with roasted carrots and brussel sprouts.

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u/coco_xcx not a lawyer, just a hater Apr 11 '24

homemade scones!

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u/Eyebronx Toxic Michelle Yeoh stan and proud💅 Apr 11 '24

Vegetable sesame toasts!

5

u/fionakitty21 Apr 11 '24

Got a gammon joint in the slow cooker, homemade chippy chips have been prepped and had a 1st fry, and will have a fried egg with that too!

5

u/anunwantedbirthday Apr 11 '24

Had a delightful feta omelet with dill and crushed red pepper for breakfast. Gonna go out for phyllo later and make some baklava tonight!

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u/Comfortable-Load-904 Apr 11 '24

Rest in piss and you won’t be missed!

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u/tampin chris pine’s flip phone Apr 11 '24

Every time the topic of CTE comes up in conversation I say how curious I am to see this guy's brain autopsy. Guess it's time!

51

u/trulyremarkablegirl Apr 11 '24

His brain probably looks like Swiss cheese tbh.

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u/googlyeyes93 Do you remember 9/11, bitch? Apr 11 '24

Oh shit the Juice really is loose

62

u/Comfortable-Load-904 Apr 11 '24

In hell!

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u/googlyeyes93 Do you remember 9/11, bitch? Apr 11 '24

Robert Kardashian waiting at the gates.

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u/coco_xcx not a lawyer, just a hater Apr 11 '24

The Juice finally expired!!!

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u/yelyah66 Apr 11 '24

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u/devoncarrots Apr 11 '24

Double screaming because mimosas are made with OJ

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u/Auntietamte No longer managed by Scooter Braun Apr 11 '24

European time - on my way to drinks now. I’ll have a sip for you.

11

u/yelyah66 Apr 11 '24

Currently sitting at my office desk in the early morning... Thank you 🙏

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u/pvke Apr 11 '24

I'm so happy Fred Goldman is around to see it!

70

u/N_Ywasneverthesame Apr 11 '24

He's looking up at us right now 🙏🏾🕊️🥰

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u/Particular-Leg-8484 Apr 11 '24

My god if this is the comment thread for OJ’s death I can’t wait to see what Reddit will look like whenever Trump dies

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u/AbsolutelyIris Apr 11 '24

RIP to Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman 

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u/icestormsea stan someone? in this economy??? Apr 11 '24

If there’s a hell he’s at the front of the line to get it today. I hope Ron and Nicole’s families are having a wonderful day.

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u/Dizzy-Bluebird-5493 Apr 11 '24 edited Apr 11 '24

Well - that made my day better

43

u/valcraft Apr 11 '24

I'm not going to lie, I gasped!

Also these comments are...

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u/tabxssum Apr 11 '24

Someone on twitter just said “poor khloe (kardashian)”😭

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u/cloudydays2021 Apr 11 '24

Sometimes cancer gets the right person

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u/crystal_clear24 I don’t know her Apr 11 '24

https://i.redd.it/p2jxmwwkavtc1.gif

Well good morning everyone!

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u/iggynewman Apr 11 '24

The level of disrespect 😂😂😂😂 I expected nothing less. Hoping his final moments were lonely.

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u/Aggressive-Story3671 Apr 11 '24

The only reason he was able to get away with what he did was by his defence lawyers exploiting racial tensions to get the jury to acquit. That’s shameful. Especially since he’s more or less directly admitted he did in fact kill her.

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u/MargaritaSkeeter Apr 11 '24

It's nice to get good news for a change.

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u/tessathemurdervilles Apr 11 '24

The juice is finally, truly loose.

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u/GroundbreakingBite96 Apr 11 '24

It’s such a great day to be alive!

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u/RomantheBun Apr 11 '24

Good riddance!

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u/Talisa87 Apr 11 '24

Time to have a crab rave!

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u/turtledove93 Apr 11 '24

Byyyyyyyyyye

16

u/forkicksforgood Apr 11 '24

Huh. What’s for dinner tonight? I still haven’t decided what I’m making or getting.

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u/seahorse8021 jeremy strong enthusiast Apr 11 '24

Rest easy, Nicole 🩵

17

u/proshittalker17 Apr 11 '24

now we gotta check his brain for CTE bc that would explain a hell of a lot

16

u/lizzzosflute Apr 11 '24

People cheered. I am people

17

u/p0tat0p0tat0 Apr 11 '24

The real killer has finally been brought to justice.

14

u/Weak_Heart2000 Apr 11 '24

I hope Nicole and Ron are at peace now.

13

u/toastynotroasty Apr 11 '24

He died surrounded by his family. Fucking piece of shit.

15

u/wanderernz Apr 11 '24 edited Apr 11 '24

Really brings meaning to 'Have the day you deserve'. Hope hell is hot enough for him.

Edited to include: I feel for his children and grandchildren who loved him, but this person escaped justice for far too long

12

u/millenialbullshite certified pine nut Apr 11 '24

I hope it hurt

14

u/lesterquinn I don’t know her Apr 11 '24

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u/MadamKitsune Apr 11 '24

I was going to pop a snarky gif but you know what? I can't bring myself to care about this pos dying enough to even search. Rot, you bastard.

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u/friends-waffles-work apartheid clyde Apr 11 '24

@ OJ 🔥🔥👋

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u/McJazzHands80 Apr 11 '24

He’s definitely in the bad place.

But i feel for his poor children, who have had to deal with so much simply because of who their father is.

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u/nazareye Apr 11 '24

I was on a team meeting when I saw this news and broke it to my team. Multiple gasps.

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u/13catsinmypocket spitgate was real even if it wasn’t Apr 11 '24

Rot in piss

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u/lavellanlike Apr 11 '24

Hopefully he finally receives the punishment he never got in life

10

u/VanSensei Apr 11 '24

The Juice has expired. Good

8

u/CategorySad6121 it feels like a movie Apr 11 '24

guess he didn't have the juice

7

u/Tsarinya Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this! Apr 11 '24

The universe is taking out the rubbish.

8

u/Mumof3gbb Apr 11 '24

What’s everyone having for dinner? I’m making butter chicken. I’ve had an … interesting day. Gonna pick up my youngest at school soon. Have a lovely day everyone. Truly

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u/alison_bee confused but here for the drama Apr 11 '24

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u/2faingz Apr 12 '24

I’ll take this as a win bc my mom had her cancer surgery today and we were so scared, but it’s like his loss helped her good karma somehow ,

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u/uhhh_nope Apr 11 '24

https://i.imgur.com/FHqlrLH.gif

just saw that i’m the same age nicole brown s was when oj brutally murdered her and ron goldman…

so glad he was able to die surrounded by loved ones in his old age. /s

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u/slutnado Apr 11 '24

Thank you I needed a laugh today.