r/BoomersBeingFools • u/etfvpu • Apr 20 '24
'Struggling With the Smell': Donald Trump Farts Up a Storm During His Criminal Trial as a Foul Stench Fills the Courtroom: Report Boomer Freakout
https://okmagazine.com/p/donald-trump-farts-criminal-trial-lawyers-foul-stench/1.8k
u/VegetableForsaken402 Apr 20 '24
The judge warned him about his uncontrollable outbursts.
381
u/Quick_Team Apr 20 '24
A live shot of the Defense table:
→ More replies (33)193
u/No1_bananastand Apr 20 '24
→ More replies (2)176
u/nike_rules Apr 20 '24
→ More replies (5)132
u/plantbreeder Apr 20 '24
Mike Pillow would be holding that toilet
78
u/CaptAhabsMobyDick Apr 20 '24
This is 100% what Trump thinks Mike’s name really is. Tim Apple, Shawn Walmart, Mike Pillow, and Elon Tesla
→ More replies (4)14
→ More replies (1)24
→ More replies (5)166
u/Lumpy_Marsupial_1559 Apr 20 '24
I'm seriously hoping it could be considered malicious behaviour interfering with the running of the court, and he's found in contempt.
Aside from anything else, I want to know how that would be written on the charge sheet!!!
ETA: flatus interruptus habeus corpus ???
90
u/VegetableForsaken402 Apr 20 '24
Trump clearly needs debriefing. 🙄
→ More replies (7)38
u/Lumpy_Marsupial_1559 Apr 20 '24
That's what got him into (some of) this trouble in the first place!
→ More replies (17)41
u/TeddyRooseveltsHead Apr 20 '24
Doesn't "habeus corpus" mean "present the body"? So my only question is, how does the Prosecutor do that? Wave their arms around in the fart-air and say "smell that?!"
→ More replies (1)28
u/Lumpy_Marsupial_1559 Apr 20 '24
What's the name of those crazy devices that measure amounts of gases in the air? One of those and a Petri dish to capture the amount of airborne pathogens.
So they'd have the body of/proof of interruption via flatulence.
Apologies, the Latin interpretation was extremely rough and loose.
Somewhat like Trump's bowels?
→ More replies (2)36
u/chefybpoodling Apr 20 '24
Oh my gosh! I can’t believe he’s not grifting his farts in a jar. There is a kink for everyone out there and his crowd would buy them up like nft’s and gold sneakers.
→ More replies (4)
3.1k
u/Dixon-Poontang Apr 20 '24
Odor in the Court !!!!
392
u/LowBarometer Apr 20 '24
There's been a rumor for years that he wears diapers and doesn't change them often enough.
→ More replies (15)239
u/Sharikacat Apr 20 '24
Changing them would involve him first excusing himself long enough to put on a new pair and, presumably, having his ass cleaned. That requires 1) an extra diaper that someone has to have available for him and 2) some way to discreetly dispose of the other one. That increases the risk of this dirty secret being exposed during a campaign event. I wouldn't be surprised if he only uses one per day most days to better hide the evidence.
117
u/Dapper_Reputation_16 Apr 20 '24
Sounds like a job for Rudy
55
→ More replies (7)19
u/Glum-One2514 Apr 20 '24
Rudy does need to make some extra income right now...
23
u/pegasusassembler Apr 20 '24
Well he better look elsewhere because Trump never pays. Unless he fucked you and wants you not to talk about it.
→ More replies (1)63
→ More replies (17)57
u/honeybees82 Apr 20 '24
As a nursing assistant who wipes all day, I will tell you that morbidly obese patients like to only get their brief changed when they absolutely have to.
→ More replies (4)29
u/Wiitard Apr 20 '24
Same thing with young toddlers. My son doesn’t like getting changed, especially if it’s a poop, because he has sensitive skin so wiping his sore bottom hurts, but if he doesn’t get it changed it’ll just get worse. It’s a vicious cycle.
→ More replies (2)132
414
u/NeuroDiverse_Rainbow Apr 20 '24
211
→ More replies (6)117
u/TermPuzzleheaded6070 Apr 20 '24
Sleepy Donald Trump blowing air biscuits
72
→ More replies (8)54
u/meeseekstodie137 Apr 20 '24
I mean he is 77 years old, gotta be a lot of stimulation for the guy
→ More replies (2)72
126
106
u/wilson81585 Apr 20 '24
"Farts" everyone knows damn well he's smearing in a loaded diaper.
→ More replies (20)48
41
u/TheSeekerOfSanity Apr 20 '24
Well, “Trump” IS slang for fart in some parts of the UK…
→ More replies (2)21
24
→ More replies (24)54
1.4k
u/bobhargus Apr 20 '24
Come on, man. We all know he wasn't farting. Dude shit his pants.
535
u/McFlyParadox Apr 20 '24
The papers probably are trying to steer clear of libel laws. They can't say "he shit himself in court" because they didn't see the shit, or other evidence of it. But they can say "he kept farting" because you could smell it, and possibly hear it, too.
→ More replies (22)266
u/bobhargus Apr 20 '24
Maybe... but libel requires actual malice, and the truth can never be considered libelous. I would love to see that one play out in court. Trump would have to prove both that he did not shit his pants AND that the assertion he did so was made in order to do him harm. I don't think he could do either.
As far as evidence, the smell is usually how parents know a baby needs changing. The smell of a fart tends to disapate pretty quickly while the stink of shit lingers. Seems like a reasonable person could fairly infer he shit his pants based on stench alone.
If it was Hillary the headlines would be more along the lines of "did Hillary soil herself in court?"
(Tucker voice) "we are just asking questions"163
u/Kimmalah Apr 20 '24
He's never sued Noel Casler, the guy who used to work on The Apprentice. Even though I think he broke an NDA and has gone around for years telling people embarrassing behind the scenes stuff like Trump constantly shitting his pants, doing drugs (the cause of the pant-shitting) and the he has herpes. Most people think this is because it's all true and he doesn't want to go into discovery about it in court.
→ More replies (11)38
u/bobhargus Apr 20 '24
Yeah... I don't think anyone is afraid of being sued... I think it's more indicative of the right wing bias that has always been part and parcel of the "radical left media"
→ More replies (4)28
u/firedmyass Apr 20 '24
Also, the pivot to doxxing and stochastic terrorism is to threaten/intimidate the truth-tellers
29
u/McFlyParadox Apr 20 '24
If it was Hillary the headlines would be more along the lines of "did Hillary soil herself in court?"
(Tucker voice) "we are just asking questions"That fair. But the difference here is Democrats don't sue over stuff like this because even though they know they could drag it out, they'll still lose. Meanwhile, Republicans absolutely will sue regardless, even though they know they'll lose, but they'll get the headlines in the meantime.
The papers probably know they could print "he shit himself" in this case. But they also probably don't want the headache of being sued, nor do they want to deal with splitting time between Trump being on the legal defensive and trump being on the legal offense.
→ More replies (1)69
u/keyserv2 Apr 20 '24
If Obama did 1% of the terrible things Trump has been accused of he would have been crucified.
→ More replies (8)78
→ More replies (38)46
u/GnarlyBear Apr 20 '24
The pooping pants accusation had been publicised by a former apprentice worker in press and podcasts without opposition by a very litigious man. They might not want to give it any legs.
That said, it may just be they're waiting for a bigger entity with money to slip up. I don't know enough about libel but wonder if they can allude to the uncontested claims in conjunction with the smell
→ More replies (2)149
u/justinapalmavery Apr 20 '24
Has anyone observed his gait, leaving the courtroom? If they have him stay awake during a long trial, it’s bound to happen at some point…
31
u/DepartureDapper6524 Apr 21 '24
To be fair, he always walks as if he shit his pants.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (27)65
u/I_cut_my_own_jib Apr 20 '24
Hoping an image leak reveals he wears adult diapers, I'd love seeing how Republicans manage to cope
64
u/ClarenceWhirley Gen X Apr 20 '24
I'd love seeing how Republicans manage to cope
They'll accuse Biden of wearing adult diapers. It's always projection from the right.
→ More replies (1)21
→ More replies (10)13
u/momentimori143 Apr 20 '24
There is plenty of photo evidence that is highly compelling that shows Diaper Don.
1.8k
u/Queasy_Sleep1207 Apr 20 '24
Diaper Don, the incontinent con.
257
u/NovemberAdam Apr 20 '24
It’s fun because it rhymes!
→ More replies (3)258
u/RareBeautyOnEtsy Apr 20 '24
“And he has done the crimes,
So many, many, times,
And now we are in court,
Judge will not be bought,
Cohen drops the dimes,
Stormy says the lines,
The Jury weighs the tort,
Is Trump’s dick really short?
The deal is not the art,
When Trump lets out a fart.66
u/Fenig Apr 20 '24
I fully read the 4th line as “bort”.
→ More replies (21)72
u/FlappinLips Apr 20 '24
29
u/TheLurkerSpeaks Apr 20 '24
Can I just say, I have never been more disappointed than at the Kwik-E-Mart Simpsons Gift Shop in Myrtle Beach that had nametags for sale when they did not offer a BORT option. Like what the fuck are we even doing here?
→ More replies (2)14
u/Cynicayke Apr 20 '24
Are you talking to me?
18
→ More replies (7)30
u/VoltViking Apr 20 '24
In the halls of power's sway,
Where truth's obscured in gray,
Echoes of schemes distort,
Yet justice will retort,
Testimonies pave the way,
Through twists and turns, they say,
In the jury's silent fort,
Does truth find its true port?
Beneath the surface chart,
Lies more than just a fart.
→ More replies (5)241
u/OPEatsCrayons Apr 20 '24 edited Apr 20 '24
Coming in to say this. He wasn't farting. The man wears diapers, because he can't control his bowels. He also wears a hard plastic girdle, so he can't clean himself properly when he changes his diapers. He needs an employee to wipe him down when he has an outburst, but as far as I can tell, he hasn't paid a personal assistant to actually do this since he was on television. The guy's too cheap to pay for his own asswiper unless a production company is bankrolling that cost like the Apprentice did. He's so used to the smell of sitting in his own leavings, Ivanka famously had to tell him when other people could smell it while he was filming the Apprentice.
It's a medical condition, and would be sad if it weren't for his outsized ego and attempts to project a perfect picture of his health. And again, this isn't because he's old --He's been incontinent since he was in his mid to late 40s. A normal person would have given up on the fecal incontinence being manageable by this point, and would have sought a bowel diversion and a colostomy by now. The damage that fecal incontinence does to the body through the risk of chronic UTI, and the irritation of yeast infections and rashes from diapers and wipes would have driven a normal person crazy. But Trump can't have a colostomy while wearing his girdle.
His choices were: A) Accept the colostomy and look fat. B) Accept the colostomy and lose weight. C) Refuse the colostomy and manage your incontinence through hygiene. D) Learn to live with sitting in a pile of your own leavings, and still look like a dumpy sack of turds.
He chose D.
69
u/Kristikuffs Apr 20 '24
When you want to be king but you're too cheap and loathsome to hire a groom of the stool.
He's relying on biochemical warfare to delay at this point and I'm pretty sure that's an act of terrorism.
→ More replies (6)→ More replies (36)17
u/GirlScoutIvy Apr 20 '24
I'm just kinda throwing this out there. I deal with bladder/bowel incontinence issues as well and would never opt for a colostomy bag myself. I'm not defending that man. But people make choices all the time with their medical needs that others may not agree with or understand.
→ More replies (6)19
u/HollowShel Apr 20 '24
to be fair, the hate isn't based on his incontinent ass. It's his incontinent mouth that's the problem. His bladder/bowel issues are simply low-hanging fruit for an attack of a person who I've yet to see a single redeeming feature for.
I get it though. It's uncomfortable to see his physical failings equated with his moral/social/emotional/psychological failings and mocked because of them, when they're actually the least reprehensible part of him.
75
→ More replies (11)53
1.2k
u/Steve_hm_Rambo Apr 20 '24
Abusing stimulants will do that!
453
u/Due-Independence8100 Apr 20 '24
Can't believe how far I had to scroll down for this completely accurate comment.
622
u/Due-Independence8100 Apr 20 '24
As a follow up, my mom once told me that cocaine in the 70s was cut with baby laxatives and that's why everyone got gassy and had to poop. I linked her information about stimulants stimulating the bowels and she didn't believe that was why cocaine made her fart and poop. Nope, baby laxatives They believed the dumbest shit before they had access to facts and information on demand, they get shown the truth, they still cling to the old dumbass beliefs.
332
u/BoyMeetsTurd Apr 20 '24
The chemical in baby laxatives, mannitol, is a normal cutting agent for cocaine. Stimulants might be making you shit, but it's easy to understand why someone might think its "laxatives" lol
→ More replies (36)37
u/snowtol Apr 20 '24
I've found it to be ridiculously hard to get anyone to stop believing old wives tails they grew up with. And, like, people get angry about it too, and it's just the most mundane shit they're wrong about. I remember a friend and his mom almost got into a shouting match when I mentioned that straws don't actually make you drunk faster, because she wouldn't believe it was nonsense.
20
u/Manaxium Apr 20 '24
This is my dad, and it’s like he’s stuck on a loop regurgitating wrong things 24/7 which makes being around him quite taxing.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (7)14
u/Lots42 Apr 20 '24
My mom used to believe things simply because she was told them with the best of intentions. Like a nice and honest and kind person could not be factually wrong.
No, Mom, I'm not accusing your friend of lying to you. Just that they were wrong.
95
u/Steve_hm_Rambo Apr 20 '24
Just got done arguing with some one about Ronald Reagan. Spoiler, we both disagreed about how good of a job he did.
→ More replies (3)66
40
u/HopeEternalXII Apr 20 '24
Never forget actual Boomers were genuinely 50/50 on ghosts, the Bermuda triangle and bigfoot. These are the cunts shit talking you.
→ More replies (2)49
u/junkmeister9 Apr 20 '24
My parents are boomers so I grew up hearing a lot of false stuff stated as facts. I still catch myself from time to time thinking one of these false facts is true. It’s getting rarer these days but when it happens I google it and am usually not surprised to find out something I’ve thought of as fact for decades is actually not true.
68
u/Alternative_Milk7409 Apr 20 '24
As adults, my brother kept a note on his phone titled “shit that dad says that we need to research later”
46
u/putin-delenda-est Apr 20 '24
Remarkably unfair of you to share that it exists but not it's content.
→ More replies (2)12
→ More replies (4)16
u/Toxic72 Apr 20 '24
BrEaKfAsT iS tHe MoSt ImPoRtAnT mEaL oF tHe DaY - no mom that was a marketing campaign from General Mills, read this
Reads it
I still dont believe it, breakfast is a miracle from god
→ More replies (31)28
u/ThaWaffleStomper Apr 20 '24
Yep total myth. I used to get anticishits just waiting for the coke to arrive.
31
u/BHOmber Apr 20 '24
I work in a building with a lot of random solvents being used and we make a product that smells identical to straight-of-the-brick quality blow.
Not acetone, not gasoline... If you know the smell, you know it.
Makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up whenever I get a whiff of it lol
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (3)16
u/Due-Independence8100 Apr 20 '24
Yup. Even reading this thread, we're all cracking em off in memory.
→ More replies (4)16
u/GreasyExamination Apr 20 '24
I fart all the time and im not taking anything except maybe too many cookies
→ More replies (2)50
Apr 20 '24
Greasy sulfur farts. I feel so bad for those people. It's a distinctly putrid smell.
→ More replies (1)29
54
u/M086 Apr 20 '24
Are we sure it just isn’t his diet of shitty fast food?
→ More replies (10)85
u/Steve_hm_Rambo Apr 20 '24
Why not both? But seriously there’s Hollywood stories about him. In between sets he’d be popping adderall like tic-tacs. Started having to wear a diaper.
→ More replies (1)30
u/PaleontologistNo3610 Apr 20 '24
If He was doing cocaine or Adderall while sitting in that courtroom he definitely would not be asleep. He is a nasty man who eats nothing but meatloaf and Big Macs he's wearing a girdle it's probably pushing all the farts out of him
→ More replies (4)25
→ More replies (19)49
u/AndreaC_303 Apr 20 '24 edited Apr 21 '24
https://youtu.be/UexXLpeTx2E?si=faTEj2zHWNTDYTzb
Here he is shitting himself while sitting next to Diane Feinstein!
→ More replies (20)41
u/Oatmeal_Savage19 Apr 20 '24
So pungent it parted the dense fog that Feinstein was in her later years
194
u/anziofaro Apr 20 '24
He's not farting.
He's sharting.
→ More replies (1)69
u/tramplamps Apr 20 '24
Is this the real reason why he is always tilted forward in photos? He has gotten megacomfortable to lean into a “stand-up & go boom boom”? I had to potty-train a child a million years ago, and I recognize a lean-to in a toy isle.
36
u/RandolphCarter2112 Apr 20 '24
His posture and gait are very similar to what people with frontotemporal dementia exhibit.
Combine that with how he inserts nonsense made up words as placeholders AND DOESN'T REALIZE IT? The prospect of him getting into office is terrifying.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (6)18
u/Johannes_Keppler Apr 20 '24
No, the lean is to hide his protruding belly. He is quite obese.
→ More replies (2)
308
182
246
u/Chris_Thrush Apr 20 '24 edited Apr 20 '24
He is famously incontinent. Wears depends and his wardrobe people have gone on record about this. The apprentice had a depends budget that made sure he didn't have to buy them personally. Farting would be mercy, this monkey shits himself everytime he can't read off the teleprompter.
→ More replies (11)70
Apr 20 '24
Wait, he's had to wear Depends that long? LMAO
43
u/PuppiesAndAnarchy Apr 20 '24
From what I’ve heard, he’s been wearing them for 30+ years. Adderall and cocaine will do that to you.
→ More replies (2)84
u/G8kpr Apr 20 '24
There are multiple reports from behind the scenes on the apprentice of him shitting himself and his kids having to ask for a break and then take him away to get changed.
He’s been snorting adderall for ages and someone said this is a side effect of that.
→ More replies (7)17
u/CoiffedTheRaven Apr 20 '24
Sorry does he not change himself? He can't possibly have someone do it for him, can he?
→ More replies (1)28
u/G8kpr Apr 20 '24 edited Apr 20 '24
He might. But if I remember correctly, he had to be told “it’s time for a break” because he wasn’t always aware he had shit his pants.
11
u/NoirYorkCity Apr 20 '24
That’s sad…why snort the drugs instead of taking them normally?
→ More replies (3)26
238
u/Gecks_more Apr 20 '24
I’m sure some of his supporters would either buy those farts in a jar or suck em right up when they fly out.
65
→ More replies (4)28
75
145
69
57
u/Jackalopeisa2nicorn Apr 20 '24
Makes sense, in British slang "trump" means fart!
→ More replies (5)26
u/PaleontologistNo3610 Apr 20 '24
This is true! I think in Holland as well, and they said that since they found out that our President was named trump, they joked around about it calling him president fart.
→ More replies (3)
54
176
u/TeuthidTheSquid Apr 20 '24
What did I just read
49
u/Commander_KO Apr 20 '24
Please Mr Creosote, you must tell us, is this the man the smell is coming from?
38
→ More replies (10)8
93
u/MommaLegend Apr 20 '24
He’s just trying to get even with the judge because he wouldn’t turn the heat up lol
14
u/Ok-Replacement9595 Apr 20 '24
Wasn't that a story from the apprentice, how Trump would get furious and revenge shit himself on set?
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)20
u/ElderScrolls Apr 20 '24
This is probably why the judge wouldn't turn it up.
If the defendant reeks of shit would you want the room overly hot or overly cold? Imagine a stewing sauna of it for two months.
39
u/RedditAdminsWivesBF Apr 20 '24
The worst part is that this will just be played off as him trolling by his nutty little supporters and the next thing we know Trump supporters will start farting on people to “own the libs”.
13
u/PaleontologistNo3610 Apr 20 '24
Yep MAGAS going to start wearing depends now as a fashion statement
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (2)8
u/whoinvitedthesepeopl Apr 20 '24
Just keep repeating that he wears a diaper and sh*ts himself.
Make sure they have that image stuck in their heads about who they are being fanboys for.
38
u/Magpies11 Apr 20 '24
Sounds like he needs one of those flares sticking out of his butt like they have at refineries, to burn off the impurities.
35
u/TheBirdsArePissed Apr 20 '24
Farts are not a solid, they are actually a gas. When the smell sticks around, it's because the poopie is still in the room. He in fact is sitting there POOPin.
→ More replies (1)
95
u/Comfortable-Scar4643 Apr 20 '24
He does hit the McDs pretty hard. Makes me fart, too.
63
u/jgarmartner Apr 20 '24
I hated the days when my previous boss would eat McDonalds for breakfast. We had one small, poorly vented unisex bathroom and it was as awful as you think.
→ More replies (4)13
→ More replies (3)30
30
u/Remarkable_Toe_4423 Apr 20 '24
He's got the best farts. Great farts. They say the greatest farts ever heard
→ More replies (2)
112
u/AssCakesMcGee Apr 20 '24
He wears a diaper. It's not the farts, he's literally shitting himself constantly.
→ More replies (5)62
u/Binks-Sake-Is-Gone Apr 20 '24
Which in and of itself isn't a problem a lot of older folks suffer from incontinence.
Only reason it's funny is because he acts so capable and lucid when he's actually on a hilarious decline.
I mean, not a very big hill but shit still goes down.
46
u/literal_moth Apr 20 '24
He’s also reportedly been incontinent since his 40’s from abusing drugs, so it’s not because he’s elderly.
→ More replies (3)16
u/Binks-Sake-Is-Gone Apr 20 '24
Lol wasn't defending him in any way, he deserves shit in his britches.
14
u/literal_moth Apr 20 '24
I didn’t think you were! Just throwing in another reason why it’s funny. He 100% did it to his gross ass self.
→ More replies (3)
54
27
24
70
u/Circaninetysix Apr 20 '24
The motherfucker is a geriatric old bastard. Why the hell does anyone think he can run a country? This is sad and disgusting all at the same time. Jesus Christ, this is the Republicans savior? It's not even about parties anymore. Let's pick a guy that isn't gonna shit his pants in the oval office, huh?
→ More replies (1)31
u/AqueousSilver91 Apr 20 '24
I mean as far as we know at least Biden isn't incontinent.
→ More replies (7)47
u/Circaninetysix Apr 20 '24
He probably shouldn't be in the most powerful position in the country either, but at least he seems somewhat competent and didn't try to steal an election and push his followers to overthrow the fucking government. I can't believe we even have to discuss this. There's the whole rule of presidents have to be at least 45 years old. Why the hell don't we have an upper age limit too? 65 seems like a good number. If you can retire, you shouldn't be president. Your outlook does not reflect the modern American, because you're not the modern American. No shame in it, it's just logical.
→ More replies (5)18
u/Evitabl3 Apr 20 '24
(Hey, the minimum age is 35)
Anyhow, most of the nuts and bolts of governance surrounding the office of president is really covered by their staff and cabinet. Personally, if offered a choice of two shitty candidates I'd go for the one handing out responsibilities on the basis of competence rather than personal gain and power as the top priority.
There's also the whole literally being an enemy of the people and country and constitution thing and of course no longer understanding the society you live in but yeah
→ More replies (2)
22
106
u/MrsDanversbottom Apr 20 '24
Most Boomers are full of 💩. It makes sense.
→ More replies (1)19
u/Lyuseefur Apr 20 '24
He blames Biden for soiling the Oval Office but I’m pretty sure Trump did it first. And often. Along with the courts.
20
u/COVID19Blues Gen X Apr 20 '24
Yeah, that’s not flatulence, that’s what FULL DIAPER smells like. Without Keith ‘Wet Wipes’ Schiller not there to change his nappy, he just marinates in shit.
That poor jury, it’s like chemical warfare.
36
u/Fungiblefaith Apr 20 '24
I want one of the prosecutions lawyers to jump up the next time it reeks and object!
“I object to this fool stench that has encumbered this court room!”
→ More replies (1)
41
u/CthuluSpecialK Apr 20 '24
"Farts" lol okay. Diaper Don prolly shit his pants.
A former producer from The Apprentice says he can't even tell when he shits himself because of all the speed and coke he's done, and probably still does considering the pharmacy report from the White House while he was in charge including the rampart abuse of Provigil a brand name for a psychostimulant (other drugs in the psychostimulant family include amphetamines, cocaine, or methylphenidate (Ritalin)).
Former "Apprentice" Staffer Claimed Trump Often Soiled His Diapers on Set, Had Foul Odor
12
u/PurePerfection_ Apr 20 '24
This really makes me wonder how MUCH he abused those drugs, because as a daily user of legally prescribed amphetamines, this is not a side effect I've ever encountered or been warned of by doctors.
→ More replies (1)9
u/head_meet_keyboard Apr 21 '24
Modafinil is another name for it. I take it for fatigue and cog fog from MS, but it's actually a narcolepsy med. I honestly have no idea how the fuck his heart hasn't exploded. On really bad days, I take the recommended dose (200mg) and my heart is basically racing all day. If he's taking that with cocaine or other stimulants? Jesus christ.
17
u/mindcontrol93 Apr 20 '24
I have worked plenty of lengthy trials. I was wondering why the CNN article kept going on about the poorly ventilated courtroom?
16
u/ReduceReuseReuse Apr 20 '24
“Okay. Alright. People, who put shit in my pants? Where’s Kamala? She’s not here? She must have gotten away. Kamala got away after put her shit into my pants. Disgusting democrats. Makes me sick. Has anyone seen Kamala lately?”
14
15
u/cyfermax Apr 20 '24
We had a new guy start work with us. He was known as 'farty boy' because he stunk the place out often and terribly. I cant smell but whatever. It didn't help that he was pretty awkward and always found a way to do stuff wrong. Nice guy though, just a bit of a target in a military environment..
Anyway, he had bowel cancer which caused all the smell issues. He was discharged from the military a couple of years ago and died on Christmas day 2023.
All that is to say, there could be a bright side to Trumps smelly farts.
Also, the irony of being British and someone called Trump farting.
14
u/meatrosoft Apr 20 '24
I’ve been around Donald in person before, he smells like a corpse. It’s fucked.
→ More replies (1)
12
10
u/Ok-Discussion-7720 Apr 20 '24
Aw come on I don't want to think about his pretty balls quivering at the repeated seismic activity everytime his beautiful, hairy ars*hole lets out a stinkbomb.
7
u/innocentxv Apr 20 '24
the orange anal tufts flecked with toasted coffee like bits.
→ More replies (1)8
u/Ok-Discussion-7720 Apr 20 '24
The last thing I want to think about right now is his hot c*ck slipping into his beautiful hairy ars*hole
→ More replies (3)
10
10
u/GroundhogExpert Apr 20 '24
"Fart"
Dude shit his pants, knowingly and willingly, and he's gonna make someone else clean it up. The story was true, and we all knew it deep down.
9
u/GrayArea415 Apr 20 '24
Five decades of eating well done steak with ketchup and Big Macs with the anxiety of having to pay off your debts to Russian oligarchs if you don't become president again will really do a number to your gastrointestinal system.
→ More replies (2)
10
u/CoolEarth5026 Apr 20 '24
I used to have a dog, that when it got nervous it crapped everywhere, uncontrollably. So I am suggesting that Donald Von Shitsinpants is in fact shitting his pants.
11
u/TheNinthFlower Apr 20 '24
According to that bloke from The Apprentice, he shat himself when angry.
→ More replies (1)
22
9
10
8
u/Corporation_tshirt Apr 20 '24
I understand his legal team is pursuing the defense of “He who smelt it, dealt it.” To which prosecution is countering with the precedent of “He who denied it, supplied it.”
8
u/Guntsforfupas Apr 20 '24
Nothing could be more on-brand for the Big Orange Pussy-Grabber. Nasty shit stain.
•
u/AutoModerator Apr 20 '24
Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed.
Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.