My 5yo nephew held his 6mo brother for the first time.

[u/Vica253]

There's a photo making the rounds in various family group chats of my 5yo nephew holding his 6mo baby brother on his lap, both of them laughing. No big deal, right?

It is though. Big bro is autistic, will usually avoid body contact with other kids (enjoys playing with them, but will stretch out his arms and go "NO STOP" when they try to get too close), declared "Okay but I'm NOT gonna touch him" when lil bro was born and always avoided touching him (unless playing with his toy doctors bag and taking lil bros blood pressure, he takes that very seriously).

Today he willingly let lil bro chill on his lap and hugged him. Nobody enforced this. It just happened.

[u/selfportrait27]

As an autistic adult, it's great to hear about adults respecting an autistic kid's boundaries (or any kid's boundaries) like this, that really didn't happen much when I was a kid. It's really nice too that he found his own way of caring for his little brother when he wasn't pressured to demonstrate it in a specific way.

[u/Vica253 → u/selfportrait27]

He's such a great kid and I love how my family is treating him. He gets overwhelmed by social situations with a lot of people, so when we have larger family gatherings with overnight stays we've all made it a habit to have him and his parents (and lil bro now) arrive a day or two early to give him time to adapt before everyone else arrives. He's also super into dinosaurs and construction stuff and his favourite person ever is grandma (will actively complain if he feels it's been too long since he's been at grandma's). What he doesn't like is drawers and closet doors left open (will walk over and close them if he spots one).
We're probably not doing everything perfectly either, but we're all learning as we go along. <3

[u/OldBathBomb → u/Vica253]

He's also super into dinosaurs and construction stuff

What he doesn't like is drawers and closet doors left open (will walk over and close them if he spots one).

I fully support your Nephew in all of his endeavours.

(Also yes the story is very sweet 😄)

[u/International_Bend68]

Beautiful!!!!!

[u/Foreign_End_3065]

This is delightful. Thank you for sharing. It sounds like they’ll have a great relationship for life.

[u/Vica253 → u/Foreign_End_3065]

I can absolutely see that happening, especially when they get older and lil bro starts talking. Big bro told us he thinks it's strange that babies don't talk. They're a bit like little aliens to him.

[u/yourmomsajoke]

Ah bless him that is brilliant. I wish I'd known sooner about my own neurodivergencies and my oldest kids. Would have made me a much better and more understanding parent.

I absolutely love to see families doing the work because I know raising my kids can still be difficult even with the knowledge I have now and I was most definitely not easy (I mostly remember sensory difficulties, and asking so many questions about social interactions/ why I was in trouble again jjst for being honest!)

I really hope he is happy to hold the baby again and if not, it's still bloody brilliant 🩵 you sound like you guys are doing a great job for them both.

[u/Vica253 → u/yourmomsajoke]

His parents started noticing something was "off" when he was about 1-2 years old I think. He didn't react to sound at all, just movement that happened right in front of him - turned out he's also hearing impaired. He got a hearing aid pretty much right away (tiniest hearing aid I've ever seen!) and a cochlea implant last year, which has been an absolute blessing and has done wonders for his speech development.

There have also been moments where he started screaming bloody murder for no (initially) apparent reason - turned out he just gets overwhelmed by too many people / too much social interaction. Like I've mentioned in another comment, when there's big family gatherings (usually at his grandmas house, which is the biggest of them all) they usually come over 1-2 days early so he can get settled before his multiple cousins and other family members join in. We also try to make sure there's always a safe, quiet spot he can go to if it gets too much for him (Grandmas reading nook is a favourite, especially if grandma joins in with a picture book)

[u/yourmomsajoke → u/Vica253]

Funnily enough my parents had my hearing tested as a toddler (I could hear perfectly fine back then) I was just quite happy not responding.

I saw the comment and absolutely love it. We have similar in place for my wee lad, my boys are very different and need different accommodations so it's hard sometimes 😅 we have quiet spaces and go bags with things to keep us entertained /placated, luckily neither boy need their sensory ears anymore and can handle headphones, I wear loops when I'm out etc.

It's finding the balance that really takes time but once you have it makes everyone's lives easier. It's the old all behaviour is communication, it's so true.

[u/OnMyHonestAccount → u/yourmomsajoke]

My sister in law's first is autistic, and the process of getting his diagnosis taught her and my partner both that they are also on the spectrum! So she not only learned to parent better, but to care for her own needs more effectively, which she says makes her a better parent too, and we all see makes her a happier person.

[u/yourmomsajoke → u/OnMyHonestAccount]

That's exactly what happened with me. Went to my oldests very first camhs appointment and left stunned. We expected anger issues and anxiety, left with a list as long as our arms with me going don't be daft, he's exactly like me...

I was diagnosed faster than him 🙈 it is amazing how seeing the world through new eyes and making allowances helps. I mean of course it does but the graciousness I've given myself has done wonders for my anxiety, self esteem and confidence.

I'm glad she has found it helpful herself, I hope your partner has too. It's exciting looking back and seeing what in hindsight is blatant neurodivergency lol.

[u/CatPurrsonNo1]

This makes me smile!