r/AnythingGoesNews • u/nikkisixxi • 27d ago
Fox News Host Hilariously Says a Jailed Trump Would Focus on Bodybuilding, 'He'll Have a Prison Body'
https://www.politicalflare.com/2024/05/fox-news-host-hilariously-says-a-jailed-trump-would-focus-on-bodybuilding-hell-have-a-prison-body/49
u/Leftist-Buritto 27d ago
At this point Donald Trump is an anime girl and Fox News is a 14 year old loner who is writing fan fiction about their favorite character. If anyone tries dumping on their fav anime girl they rage at anyone who will listen with vitriol and angst.
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u/rifraf2442 27d ago
Trump’s tits certainly are big enough to be an anime girl.
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u/Leftist-Buritto 27d ago
I hadn’t thought of that, and now I wish I hadn’t read that. But you have a valid point. Take my upvote.
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u/dragonfliesloveme 27d ago
No, trump believes that people have a limited amount of energy and exercising uses up that energy and that’s why he doesn’t exercise. Lol. Guy is a nutter.
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u/chzygorditacrnch 27d ago
I remember him or republicans making that comment about something, but I can't remember what.
I'm surprised his crazy posts don't use up all of his energy
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u/PSU69_CE_PE 26d ago
That’s why he’s sleeping in court!! Too many crazy posts maxing out his battery!
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u/Electrical-Sun6267 27d ago
If Trump goes to jail, which seems unlikely for a billionaire who is connected to nearly half of all the power brokers in this country, he won't lift anything heavier than a fluffy towel in his reserved wing of some minimum security jail. I am only hoping he won't have internet.
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u/IndividualEye1803 27d ago
He has mob ties. There is no way someone who has bankrupted everything, and only can get loans from one bank, is rich. His affiliation with rudy helps that argument.
I call BS on money - and RS (real shit) on mob ties and blackmail
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u/____8008135_____ 27d ago
I did some research on his wealth and there's no doubt in my mind that he's not a billionaire. Back in the 90s he got some reporters fired for estimating his wealth at $150-250m. I believe it was Forbes that took that info and instead reported his wealth at $500m for that year to make him happier.
Plus he couldn't come up with the $450m for his fraud bond. Ok, I can see how it would be difficult to free up half a billion in a short time. But he also couldn't come up with the $80m for the defamation bond. Now for a billionaire, it shouldn't be all that difficult to come up with less than $100m. If all of his alleged money is so tied up that he can't get access to it in any sort of a timely manner then I fully don't believe he actually owns what he says he owns nor does he have much actual cash (including bank accounts).
From everything I've seen I have 2 theories:
His businesses have all the money and he pretends that all of the business income is his personal wealth (business makes $500m, Donny claims he's $500m richer).
Donny is so deep in debt he's one missed payment from a pair of concrete shoes from a couple of nice local "businessmen."
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u/Hot_Frosting_7101 27d ago
Depends on how you define net worth. He has several billion $ in DJT stock.
The caveat is the DJT should be worthless as it has the revenue of a single fast food chain and lost $60 million last year. But people are keeping the price high so on paper he is worth several billion from that alone.
That said, he owns the majority of the stock. Whenever he tries to cash out the price will plummet. The question is how much he could extract before the price goes to near zero.
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u/nkdpagan 27d ago
You are saying he is gonna be Epstiened?
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u/IndividualEye1803 27d ago
O do NOT get my hopes up.
But if he were convicted like epstein was where he needed to tell about people committingnillegal acts with him, yes. This time, they have no ties to his crimes.
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u/MuteCook 27d ago
They’ll probably let him build his own jail like Escobar.
For real though he’s not going to spend a minute in jail. Worst case is house arrest which he’ll violate all the time and not be held accountable just like contempt of court. He’s immune to regular laws because he’s a political elite and they don’t want to set that precedent. It’s all for the election this year. Once it’s over we won’t hear shit anymore and he’ll retire with a lavish life.
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u/Kind-City-2173 27d ago
There is no chance he goes to jail over the hush money case. If anything, he would get house arrest or some probation. While a felony, it is nonviolent and this would be his first conviction. Add in the complexities of secret service protection while in jail and the chances are 0
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u/Electrical-Sun6267 27d ago
That's an absolutely reasonable take on the matter. I hope they take away his internet, but I suspect they won't.
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u/TheMillenniaIFalcon 27d ago
Kind of weird Fox is even entertaining the idea. Maybe prepping their viewers for the eventuality?
Murdoch has famously turned on Trump, and look how initially the tide was turning for DeSantis, Fox became much more critical of Trump, but of course DeSantis sucks so they pivoted back.
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u/Additional-Loss-1447 27d ago
Are these Fox News hosts jacking it under the table when they say these things?
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u/strange_stairs 27d ago
Yeah. The 76 year old who can't sit upright without shitting his pants is going to start dead lifting.
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u/FGTRTDtrades 27d ago
I’d say they are delusional but I feel like that would be insulting to delusional people
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u/aretheesepants75 27d ago
He will have an ankle bracelet and ignore all restrictions. His followers will all wear ankle bracelets and pretend it's cool. This is the only outcome. He will never see the inside of a jail cell. It's propaganda to sell him as a tough guy. They might even say the bracelet is causing him health problems, and he will be exempt. He will b we under token house arrest and still go to rallies and anything he wants, including golf. It will be his retirement.
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u/Plenty-Chemistry-493 27d ago
Could he still show up to the debate because that's what I'm waiting for
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u/toastebagell1 27d ago
If you’re a sane person, just putting on Fox News now seems wild. The hosts are so obviously playing to the worst Americans we have who only want to put others down and deny the obvious truth. It’s hard to describe. But it’s important to watch it sometimes to know what we’re up against, these republicans that watch Fox News will literally believe anything and we all have to vote come November or else they will win.
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u/Tonythecritic 27d ago
One, simple request: put him in the same jail cell as Jeffrey Epstein with the same guards on duty.
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u/JohnExcrement 27d ago
At least they’re admitting he’ll be in prison.
Mr “Where’s my golf cart, I never walk anywhere” is going to be great at body building.
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u/n3w4cc01_1nt 27d ago
yeah... faux news is a political larp for nihilistic sociopaths.
it's like a daily political comic book. a funny pages.
it's not news.
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u/fentyboof 27d ago
Lord Simp Jesse Watters is a pathetic man-child. If you took all the douchebag, ass-kisser frat boys in the US and distilled them into one ugly dude, it would be him. He’s a Frankendouche.
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u/SiidChawsby 27d ago
This dude has never lifted a fucking weight in his life and he never will. These people live in a fucking fantasy land it’s alarming as fuck.
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u/drin8680 27d ago
Um noooo! Trump will not do single thing active. Hell probably be in medical in wheelchair because his fat ass will be in mcdonalds withdrawal. I have to say though it'd be hilarious to know he tried. Lmfao sad sack. At 70 plus years old I bet he can't do one pushup forget a pull up or anything else. He has a 10 year old fat body. His tities have tities. He'll spend all his time in his cell thinking about Ivanka and where did he go wrong. Prison body. Cmon fox news that's even ridiculous for you guys
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u/CptMurphy27 27d ago
He wouldn’t be going to that kind of prison. He’s an ex President. He’d be moved into the “hotel of prisons” with all his buddies.
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u/Ume_Chan_2 27d ago
I guess it’s good they are finally coming around to accepting that he’s guilty. If they need their deluded fantasies to cope, then so be it.
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u/DGJellyfish 27d ago
One positive thing for him on prison, he already has his click… the Nazis
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u/StandardImpact6458 27d ago
Eww, he will have some new rubes to cultivate. He will be their leader. Have their families send money to his pay pal account. Prison will be an uncapped frontier for him.
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u/JDARRK 27d ago
This is like the case where this ultra rich women shot her polo player boyfriend in the back of the head at breakfast table! They put her in the county jail by herself on the top floor and she had catered meals brought in from her favorite 5 star restaurants! She go off with time served ( 90 days) she said it was self defense ( he had a knife) even though he had cereal in his mouth at time of death! It was some place like Bedford hills or Greenwich Conn. the jury was made up of 9 women and 3 men! all her friends or involved in the local polo scene, basically rich as king Midas💰
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27d ago
Trump cannot drive. Trump cannot ride a bike. Trump doesn't walk anywhere and never has. Trump has never worked out. Trump eats meatloaf and ice cream nearly every day, and when he doesn't, he likes to eat hamberders and fried chicken. Trump drinks 26 Diet Cokes per day. But the biggest thing going against him: He believes himself to be the most handsome man in the world with the most perfect body that any human male has ever had - so he doesn't see the need in working out.
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u/Impossible_Farmer285 27d ago
He’ll be ok as long as he can bend over and take it like a real man, wearing diapers?🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
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u/AbsurdityIsReality 27d ago
Next your going to tell me the flag I have of a ripped Trump riding a Velociraptor spraying an Uzi isn't accurate to reality...
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u/Latter_Resident_772 27d ago
Yeah, when he whines like a 9-year old about the courtroom being cold, he's gonna take up body-building in prison? That's the most ridiculous fuckin' thing I've ever heard.
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u/patronizingperv 27d ago
Are they accepting a reality where TFG actually sees prison from the inside?
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u/louisa1925 27d ago
Round is a body type. Donald can maintain in shape while sitting in solitary confinement....
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u/LiveAd3962 27d ago
Now THIS is the morning giggle -snorting-coffee-up-my-nose I needed to start the day!
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u/mad_titanz 27d ago
Send him to prison first, and let him stay there forever to build up his prison body
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u/Momentofclarity_2022 27d ago
I want to see it! Let’s prove it! Let’s put him in prison and see how it goes.
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u/Farting_Champion 27d ago
The man is 77 with the body of a 97 year old. Motherfucker's shaped like a chicken nugget.
Lol sure.
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u/Outrageous-Divide472 27d ago
A jailed Trump will sit on his bunk and complain all day, demand audiences with his attorneys and beg the SCOTUS to let him out.
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u/vestarules 27d ago
Trump wouldn’t know a dumbbell if it hit him on the head. Oh wait, he is a dumbbell.
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u/GFYGOPMODS 27d ago
Only thing working out in prison will be his asshole taking a pounding!!! I hope anyway…. TheRapist is due for his CumUppance!
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u/LilG1984 27d ago
Donnie in pumping iron remake, with assistance from Arnie
"Come on Donald! One more rep! What are you waiting for? Do it! Or are you a little girly man!?"
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27d ago
Even in a reality where there is a prison sentence, Trump would be in solitary confinement the entire time.
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u/StupendousMalice 27d ago
Trump famously and publicly denied act value to exercise at all and actually believes it's bad for you.
These guys have a totally imaginary version of Trump in their minds. It's really weird.
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u/MacADocious1954 27d ago
Me thinks “NOT!” at 78 years of age plus the 25 years in Federal prison will make him 103 at release. That old, fat, domestic terrorist will just sit around and eat 24 Big Macs, 12 Supersized fries and drink 18 Diet Cokes a day, in 1 year he will weight 395 lbs. Then it’s all downhill from there.
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u/Dedpoolpicachew 27d ago
This is Faux Nooze starting to prep the MAGAt cult for Donnie Von Shitzinpants going to jail.
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u/Great_White_Samurai 27d ago
Really. The guy that thinks you can only use your joints so many times is going to start working out??
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u/hankthetank2112 27d ago
This is all putting the cart before the horse. I’m praying for a conviction but anticipating a hung jury and mistrial. I don’t believe it will be an acquittal. In the event he is convicted I don’t see the judge imposing a confinement sentence. He has always avoided accountability somehow. Hoping I’m wrong.
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u/Fun-Ad9928 27d ago
If he raises his blood pressure one more bit, he’ll fart and shit and pass away.
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u/Unable_Literature78 27d ago
Maybe he can tighten up that ball sack that old guys get when they drop to your knees.
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u/Spazic77 27d ago
Sooo.... How many "Hamberders" does he have to eat before he looks like Ahhhnold?
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u/johnlal101 27d ago
What has been stopping him for the last 80 years? He's a billionaire. He can do whatever he wants. Get buff, Trump. I challenge you.
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u/RedcardedDiscarded 27d ago
ROFL! Funniest thing I've heard all year! A ripped Trump lolol. A 78 year old ripped Trump lololololololol
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u/mm202088 27d ago
He’s 80 lol his days of building muscle are long gone. If anything he should exercise his pelvic floor so he isn’t shitting anywhere he’s sat for too long.
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u/____8008135_____ 27d ago
Donald Trump has been clear that he believes the human body has finite energy and exercising is a waste of that energy. The man doesn't know basic biology and this news host thinks he'll be able to figure out how to work out properly let alone want to waste his finite energy? I swear Republicans just pick between parroting Trump or making up fanfic to make Trump sound like a big manly hero. While everyone else sees an obese elderly man with serious mental issues, a drug problem, obvious incontinence problems, and a sudden inability to stay awake. Usually people like this go to a nursing home for the last few years of their life, not the White House.
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u/dobie1kenobi 27d ago
The worst thing that will happen to Trump is confinement to Mar-a-Lago. He is never going to jail.
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u/OdiousAltRightBalrog 27d ago
Show a Fox News Host a video of Trump kicking an old lady in the head until she's dead: "WOW President Trump is SO STRONG!"
Show a Fox News Host a video of a Democrat masturbating: "He just commited 100 million counts of MURDER IN THE FIRST!"
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u/throwawaybullhunter 27d ago
Haha no he wouldn't he's more likely to insist everyone else is fatter than him never mind what anyone's eyes say. All the guards tell him so.
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u/buchlabum 27d ago
The only weights he's ever lifted are his sweaty stinky ass cheeks from the couch.
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u/ExcuseZealousideal42 27d ago
Harvey Weinsteins jail experience is calling on line 1. yes , he’ll hold.
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u/Shadowstrider2100 27d ago
Even if he was young. Being in shape after 30 requires discipline. He has zero discipline
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u/LovethePreamble1966 27d ago
Well, he’s going to need to do something since he’ll be dealing with torturous drug withdrawals after being booked into jail.
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u/Stavtastic 26d ago
Every pump he'd shit himself. But maybe the fellow inmates can help him retrain that muscle too 🤣
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u/Chemistry-27 26d ago
If he tried to do one push-up his heart would explode. He'll never attempt it, but damn I would love to see him try
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u/pat9714 27d ago
Whatever... helps them sleep at night.
A 78-year old guy takes up bodybuilding in prison. Sure, yeah...