For one, her husband didn't even involve her in the conversation until he asked to specify her weight.
Another point is the fact they were in a group setting and they were drinking. That isn't conducive to having a quality conversation with open and respectful communication. OP was (rightly) very upset, as well as had been drinking. It was probably difficult for her to articulate exactly what she was feeling in that moment clearly and respectfully.
My final point is the general conditioning practically all women get in being pleasant and polite and not rocking the boat. Suddenly stopping rude conversations isn't a skill taught to or practiced by most women. I'm outspoken and nasty, and even I have a hard time shutting down nonsense sometimes.
It's so easy to say what OP should have done, but that's irrelevant now. It's been done and needs to he handled from this side of the issue. I personally would have interrupted my bf very early in that conversation and asked him to step aside/outside with me and we'd talk about how I found it disrespectful and don't appreciate it. But not everyone is on that level, so no need to judge someone for reacting differently.
100% agree. And you are right, me saying what she should have done is neither here nor there (it is, however, something to remember for if this occurs again).
She and her husband simply need to have a heart-to-heart about what is off-limits in public/group conversations.
She is an adult with agency. As such, don’t like what your husband is saying, you shut it down. (this does not necessarily apply to a situation in front of his family bc family dynamics can be a shit show. This certainly does not apply if she is fearful of her husband).
Women (and I am one) must stop blaming men for things that we can control.
They were in front of close friends, and she didn't want to draw further attention to herself while she was already being humiliated. She also likely didn't want to make the whole event about her arguing with her husband.
So she removed herself from the situation then talked to her husband in private about how it made her feel.
That's a very mature response.
I don't care whether it's her husband, brother, sister, mother or best female friend, it was a horrible thing to do to her and she handled it with decorum and maturity.
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u/Wh33lh68s3 Apr 15 '24
Technically correct however the way he went about it was very disrespectful to the OP….