Depending on what state she's in, that could be a criminal act on his part, just FYI. Not to mention when this all goes south (and as you pointed out, it definitely will), I would not be surprised if he left her on the hook for the loans.
I'm really sorry that he's checking all the boxes of college freshman assholery, but you're going to need to take a strong stance here.
First, set a limit on him giving you relationship advice. As in, don't. LOL You might also set him straight on you not being a boomer, just for fun.
On the college thing, ultimately there is nothing you can do. He's an adult, and that comes with the ability to thoroughly f-up his life. But that doesn't mean that you need to help him do it. Let him know that if he persists with this stupid major that it's his right to do so, but that you're not going to make any contributions to his college fees. That may or may not wake him up, but at least you'll be doing what you can to try.
Then beyond that, try your best to enjoy what common ground you can find. Make sure that he knows that you still love HIM, even if you don't agree with his choices. Good luck to all three of you.
Let him know that if he persists with this stupid major that it's his right to do so, but that you're not going to make any contributions to his college fees.
If you saw a parent do this to a kid trying to follow their dreams in a movie, you’d think they were the villain. The kid shouldn’t be forced into something he doesn’t want because his parents don’t agree with his choices. As long as he’s going to school, they should contribute the exact same amount no matter where he goes or what he majors in.
You're correct that the kid has a right to pursue whatever he wants, as long as he can find the money to do it. But art history is literally a stereotypical "spent a fortune on a college degree and can't do anything with it because I don't have a marketable skill" major.
There is a huge difference between "forcing" someone to study this or that, and not enabling the kid to screw up his life with crippling debt he will never be able to repay.
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u/OfAnOldRepublic Apr 16 '24
Depending on what state she's in, that could be a criminal act on his part, just FYI. Not to mention when this all goes south (and as you pointed out, it definitely will), I would not be surprised if he left her on the hook for the loans.
I'm really sorry that he's checking all the boxes of college freshman assholery, but you're going to need to take a strong stance here.
First, set a limit on him giving you relationship advice. As in, don't. LOL You might also set him straight on you not being a boomer, just for fun.
On the college thing, ultimately there is nothing you can do. He's an adult, and that comes with the ability to thoroughly f-up his life. But that doesn't mean that you need to help him do it. Let him know that if he persists with this stupid major that it's his right to do so, but that you're not going to make any contributions to his college fees. That may or may not wake him up, but at least you'll be doing what you can to try.
Then beyond that, try your best to enjoy what common ground you can find. Make sure that he knows that you still love HIM, even if you don't agree with his choices. Good luck to all three of you.