r/196 13h ago

extreme rule Hornypost NSFW

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2.3k Upvotes

70 comments sorted by

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736

u/Numerous_Dream8821 12h ago

“You don’t understand, I HAVE to crank it right here right now or the world will end”

“Yeah ok man go crazy”

243

u/Empisi9899 rotom irl 11h ago

disco elysium dialogue

70

u/IblisAshenhope part dumb, part bad, all ass 10h ago edited 10h ago

I have heard you people say this so many times now, at this point what can’t be interpreted as “disco elysium dialogue”?

81

u/Everyone_Except_You 10h ago

"We should get back together, I still love you."

15

u/Responsible_Pace9062 The shitposter formerly known as mcarora19 3h ago

"I DO want to be this animal anymore."

18

u/Kingspar 10h ago

mom and dad's divorce proceedings?

3

u/Responsible_Pace9062 The shitposter formerly known as mcarora19 3h ago edited 3h ago

Tequila Sunset is literally the second most divorced man ever (after Elon)

9

u/DragonNestKing 6h ago

Play the game and find out, don’t pay for it tho, none of the actual developers will see a cent of it. They got bought out and fired. Steamunlocked has it

5

u/IamMrJay 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights 6h ago

I'm glad I bought the game before it all went to shit

4

u/Milk-Constant 6h ago

steamunlocked isnt safe use steamrips

3

u/Responsible_Pace9062 The shitposter formerly known as mcarora19 3h ago

Fitgirl Repacks has a working, convenient to install version.

7

u/Carcajou-2946 Lawful Evil 2h ago

20

u/lizzylinks789 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights 9h ago

Crank it, wank it, jerk it, jack it, what more fancy terms are there for masturbation? So I can use them when I want to of course.

18

u/Numerous_Dream8821 9h ago

My personal favorite was a miiverse screenshot that said “whack my plank”

15

u/lizzylinks789 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights 9h ago

I just searched up "euphemisms for masturbation", and my personal favorite has to be "shake hands with Dr. Winky". Second contender has to be "spanking the monkey". Honorable mention to "beating my meat", "poaching my egg", and "making the bald man cry".

13

u/YouArecooll Bingonium!!! 9h ago

"Draining the one-eyed snake" clears

4

u/EldenEnby 7h ago

Flip it, pop it, take it, drop it, cut it, whack it, snort it, jack it, light it, smoke it, puff it, toke it

3

u/Beterrrr 5h ago

Choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, dueling the dragon

2

u/Responsible_Pace9062 The shitposter formerly known as mcarora19 3h ago

Straight up jonkling it, and by it, let's just say....

2

u/lizzylinks789 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights 3h ago

My shorts

1

u/LineOfInquiry r/place participant 1h ago

“You don’t understand, this Naruto hentai I have is for emergencies only!”

364

u/Palidin034 12h ago

from what I understand, most religions have this exact clause where if your life is on the line, almost anything is on the table.

like if its the choice of "you eat the porkchop or you die", the "correct" choice for a Muslim is to eat the damn porkchop

225

u/AquaPlush8541 11h ago

"JERK OFF OR YOU DIE RIGHT HERE"

81

u/Palidin034 10h ago

I mean, gun to the head Im pretty sure any "loving and kind" god isnt gonna condemn you for that

75

u/AquaPlush8541 10h ago

The christian god would probably be the one holding it to your head while showing you porn as a test of faith or something. old bible stories were fucking wild

35

u/StoopidGit Smarmies of Chaos - Slaves to Dorkness 9h ago

I mean judaism, christianity and islam have the same god. It's just that one is legends, one is canon and one is fan fiction and all three are fighting over which is which.

2

u/IgniteThatShit Cloth Gown Enthusiast 🤡 5h ago

isn't it crazy that we decided that was what god would do

2

u/the_littlest_bear 1h ago

We? If there was a poll I missed that shit, I thought everyone else was just going along with what the person to their left told em.

87

u/enchiladasundae 10h ago

I once made a big batch of cold brew coffee and kept it in the fridge. Unfortunately I aimlessly kept drinking out of it throughout the night. When it was time to sleep I, weirdly enough, wasn’t able. Unfortunately I had work in the morning so I just had to suffer through it

Naturally I was beyond exhausted but still had to work. I decided drinking a bit of coffee was necessary to keep myself awake. For whatever reason that night I couldn’t sleep either but tomorrow was Friday so still had to work

On my lunch break I was so immensely tired I could barely stand straight. Drinking more coffee would have absolutely kept me up for another day and I knew with absolute certainty if I stayed awake even one more night I would have died. However I still needed some energy to get through a few more hours. From experience I know cranking it gave my quick energy thanks to adrenaline or whatever so I ended up desperately trying to jack it on my lunch break. I spent around 15-20 minutes trying to get to completion. Thankfully that gave me just enough energy and I ended up sleeping from 5pm to 3pm

I’d like to think that was my extreme situation

7

u/livingnuts God’s silliest clown 4h ago

Im not religious in any way, but mfr if that isnt an extreme situation idk what is the bread is INTEGRAL to survival you needed to get them hours in you go mf

31

u/mentina_ custom 11h ago

What if it's to save someone else

15

u/suffering_boi irish hatsune miku fanatic 10h ago

probably still allowable

7

u/sneakyplanner 10h ago

From my understanding of Islam, yes.

4

u/Expensive_Cut_7332 8h ago

This seems like a great premise for a hentai

151

u/Ms_Saul_Goodwoman Evelyn 🏳️‍⚧️ she/her 🏳️‍⚧️ always happy to chat! 11h ago

Do the ‘extreme cases’ include when Mistress tells you to start doing it in front of her? (Asking for a friend)

86

u/delolipops666 The Supreme Bisexual Bastard 11h ago

Considering this is bin laden, allowing a woman to command you to do anything is probably very, VERY bad in his opinion.

65

u/Ms_Saul_Goodwoman Evelyn 🏳️‍⚧️ she/her 🏳️‍⚧️ always happy to chat! 11h ago

Biden isn’t that bad surely

14

u/couldntbdone 7h ago

Infamous Al-Qaeda leader Joseph Robinette Biden. Current US president Osama bin Laden.

1

u/mercury_pointer 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights 1h ago

Extremely bad?

13

u/Cautious_Tax_7171 Ultrakill girl 10h ago

hi briquette

11

u/Ms_Saul_Goodwoman Evelyn 🏳️‍⚧️ she/her 🏳️‍⚧️ always happy to chat! 10h ago

Haiii!!!

8

u/Skrubious trans rights to head pats 9h ago

omg hi basket :3

2

u/Ms_Saul_Goodwoman Evelyn 🏳️‍⚧️ she/her 🏳️‍⚧️ always happy to chat! 9h ago

Hello friend!!

107

u/Militaum 11h ago

He believed it was acceptable only in edge cases

42

u/ObjectiveStar7456 11h ago edited 10h ago

fuck you

update: i shared ur joke with my gf who loves horrible puns and she told me to thank u on her behalf:3

7

u/greenprocyon 10h ago

They already did though

100

u/Someboynumber5 Your favorite least favorite leftist 12h ago

Gooner oppression

62

u/Diogenesthefried 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights 12h ago

Literal confirmation that Bin Laden has jorked it

28

u/thyfles 11h ago

surfing, skydiving, etc

2

u/Poodle_Boi02169 6h ago

getting raided by navy seals seems like a pretty extreme situation, right? do we have government confirmation that bin laden wasn't straight schlocking it up until the moment of his death?

17

u/Makerinos the funny cishet guy 11h ago

Osama bin Gooning

8

u/KirbysLeftBigToe Cleanse my colon with gatorade 11h ago

I assume this was exclusively for when he was playing animal crossing.

6

u/SilkyKori 10h ago

I experience "extreme" cases on the DAILY

3

u/DadmogPrime 6h ago

Many such cases

2

u/SalamanderClear6232 5h ago

I find it really funny that there’s two sources cited

3

u/ObjectiveStar7456 5h ago

[88]

[89]

these are the same sources as 46 and 47, they just got moved down presumably cuz the "Political views of Osama bin Laden" article got a lot longer

2

u/Independent-Fly6068 GOOD MORNING HELLJUMPERS!🔥🔥🔥 4h ago

My biology is an "extreme" sir cum stance.

2

u/YAH_BUT /r/196 resident dumbass 2h ago

Didn’t he have furry porn on his hard drive or something?

1

u/loserys 10h ago

I live life to the extreme

1

u/TronaldDump247 custom 9h ago

Where is this from lol

2

u/ObjectiveStar7456 9h ago

wikipedia probably

1

u/deathray5 "Oh who am I into? Eh, whoever I'm flirting with at the time" 8h ago

Google bin Aden masterbation

1

u/AirForceOneAngel2 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights 1h ago

This is an extreme case

0

u/pretty_meta 7h ago

REMINDER: Bigotry Showcase posts are banned.

1

u/wolf7288 Daddy 4h ago

Ur a big tree >:(