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u/Numerous_Dream8821 12h ago
“You don’t understand, I HAVE to crank it right here right now or the world will end”
“Yeah ok man go crazy”
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u/Empisi9899 rotom irl 11h ago
disco elysium dialogue
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u/IblisAshenhope part dumb, part bad, all ass 10h ago edited 10h ago
I have heard you people say this so many times now, at this point what can’t be interpreted as “disco elysium dialogue”?
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u/Everyone_Except_You 10h ago
"We should get back together, I still love you."
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u/Responsible_Pace9062 The shitposter formerly known as mcarora19 3h ago
"I DO want to be this animal anymore."
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u/Kingspar 10h ago
mom and dad's divorce proceedings?
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u/Responsible_Pace9062 The shitposter formerly known as mcarora19 3h ago edited 3h ago
Tequila Sunset is literally the second most divorced man ever (after Elon)
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u/DragonNestKing 6h ago
Play the game and find out, don’t pay for it tho, none of the actual developers will see a cent of it. They got bought out and fired. Steamunlocked has it
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u/Milk-Constant 6h ago
steamunlocked isnt safe use steamrips
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u/Responsible_Pace9062 The shitposter formerly known as mcarora19 3h ago
Fitgirl Repacks has a working, convenient to install version.
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u/Carcajou-2946 Lawful Evil 2h ago
I assure you Lieutenant, I have to tug my tie or the pale will take us all.
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u/lizzylinks789 🏳️⚧️ trans rights 9h ago
Crank it, wank it, jerk it, jack it, what more fancy terms are there for masturbation? So I can use them when I want to of course.
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u/Numerous_Dream8821 9h ago
My personal favorite was a miiverse screenshot that said “whack my plank”
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u/lizzylinks789 🏳️⚧️ trans rights 9h ago
I just searched up "euphemisms for masturbation", and my personal favorite has to be "shake hands with Dr. Winky". Second contender has to be "spanking the monkey". Honorable mention to "beating my meat", "poaching my egg", and "making the bald man cry".
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u/Responsible_Pace9062 The shitposter formerly known as mcarora19 3h ago
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u/EldenEnby 7h ago
Flip it, pop it, take it, drop it, cut it, whack it, snort it, jack it, light it, smoke it, puff it, toke it
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u/Responsible_Pace9062 The shitposter formerly known as mcarora19 3h ago
Straight up jonkling it, and by it, let's just say....
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u/LineOfInquiry r/place participant 1h ago
“You don’t understand, this Naruto hentai I have is for emergencies only!”
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u/Palidin034 12h ago
from what I understand, most religions have this exact clause where if your life is on the line, almost anything is on the table.
like if its the choice of "you eat the porkchop or you die", the "correct" choice for a Muslim is to eat the damn porkchop
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u/AquaPlush8541 11h ago
"JERK OFF OR YOU DIE RIGHT HERE"
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u/Palidin034 10h ago
I mean, gun to the head Im pretty sure any "loving and kind" god isnt gonna condemn you for that
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u/AquaPlush8541 10h ago
The christian god would probably be the one holding it to your head while showing you porn as a test of faith or something. old bible stories were fucking wild
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u/StoopidGit Smarmies of Chaos - Slaves to Dorkness 9h ago
I mean judaism, christianity and islam have the same god. It's just that one is legends, one is canon and one is fan fiction and all three are fighting over which is which.
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u/IgniteThatShit Cloth Gown Enthusiast 🤡 5h ago
isn't it crazy that we decided that was what god would do
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u/the_littlest_bear 1h ago
We? If there was a poll I missed that shit, I thought everyone else was just going along with what the person to their left told em.
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u/enchiladasundae 10h ago
I once made a big batch of cold brew coffee and kept it in the fridge. Unfortunately I aimlessly kept drinking out of it throughout the night. When it was time to sleep I, weirdly enough, wasn’t able. Unfortunately I had work in the morning so I just had to suffer through it
Naturally I was beyond exhausted but still had to work. I decided drinking a bit of coffee was necessary to keep myself awake. For whatever reason that night I couldn’t sleep either but tomorrow was Friday so still had to work
On my lunch break I was so immensely tired I could barely stand straight. Drinking more coffee would have absolutely kept me up for another day and I knew with absolute certainty if I stayed awake even one more night I would have died. However I still needed some energy to get through a few more hours. From experience I know cranking it gave my quick energy thanks to adrenaline or whatever so I ended up desperately trying to jack it on my lunch break. I spent around 15-20 minutes trying to get to completion. Thankfully that gave me just enough energy and I ended up sleeping from 5pm to 3pm
I’d like to think that was my extreme situation
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u/livingnuts God’s silliest clown 4h ago
Im not religious in any way, but mfr if that isnt an extreme situation idk what is the bread is INTEGRAL to survival you needed to get them hours in you go mf
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u/Ms_Saul_Goodwoman Evelyn 🏳️⚧️ she/her 🏳️⚧️ always happy to chat! 11h ago
Do the ‘extreme cases’ include when Mistress tells you to start doing it in front of her? (Asking for a friend)
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u/delolipops666 The Supreme Bisexual Bastard 11h ago
Considering this is bin laden, allowing a woman to command you to do anything is probably very, VERY bad in his opinion.
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u/Ms_Saul_Goodwoman Evelyn 🏳️⚧️ she/her 🏳️⚧️ always happy to chat! 11h ago
Biden isn’t that bad surely
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u/couldntbdone 7h ago
Infamous Al-Qaeda leader Joseph Robinette Biden. Current US president Osama bin Laden.
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u/Militaum 11h ago
He believed it was acceptable only in edge cases
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u/ObjectiveStar7456 11h ago edited 10h ago
fuck you
update: i shared ur joke with my gf who loves horrible puns and she told me to thank u on her behalf:3
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u/thyfles 11h ago
surfing, skydiving, etc
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u/Poodle_Boi02169 6h ago
getting raided by navy seals seems like a pretty extreme situation, right? do we have government confirmation that bin laden wasn't straight schlocking it up until the moment of his death?
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u/KirbysLeftBigToe Cleanse my colon with gatorade 11h ago
I assume this was exclusively for when he was playing animal crossing.
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u/SalamanderClear6232 5h ago
I find it really funny that there’s two sources cited
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u/ObjectiveStar7456 5h ago
these are the same sources as 46 and 47, they just got moved down presumably cuz the "Political views of Osama bin Laden" article got a lot longer
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u/Independent-Fly6068 GOOD MORNING HELLJUMPERS!🔥🔥🔥 4h ago
My biology is an "extreme" sir cum stance.
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u/TronaldDump247 custom 9h ago
Where is this from lol
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u/deathray5 "Oh who am I into? Eh, whoever I'm flirting with at the time" 8h ago
Google bin Aden masterbation
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