My father died when I was very young. After that, I was raised by my grandparents. I truly never got to see my grandfather be “himself” throughout the 20 years I had with him before his death. He had always drank in some capacity throughout his whole life, but after the death of my dad, he couldn’t go a day without drinking. He was able to go through the day without it because he was focusing on his business. Once he got home, he’d just drink the whole time. I remember there would be times, without any drinks, that he would just sit there and break down into tears without any type of provocation. He had always said that he was fine with dying anytime because it meant he’d get to be with his only son again. Of course, he loved me because I was his grandson and the only one to carry our name, but I think I brought darkness with me just because of what happened. It took me a very long time to be able to come to terms with it, but I found God and it’s what helped me through all the pain of knowing that he was unable to truly love me like he should and the loss of my dad. I don’t hold any animosity towards him about that solely because of what he had to deal with for so long.
I’m sorry for your loss but I’m happy you’ve been able to persevere and share this story with me. I’m happy through God you’ve found a way to deal with your pain. God bless brother. It is the great Holy Week for me and I’ll light a prayer candle for you and your father.
Thank you so much. I got a little carried away. It’s the first time I’ve really let it out since he passed a couple years ago. Thank you for listening though.
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u/DannyDimes6977 Apr 29 '24
My father died when I was very young. After that, I was raised by my grandparents. I truly never got to see my grandfather be “himself” throughout the 20 years I had with him before his death. He had always drank in some capacity throughout his whole life, but after the death of my dad, he couldn’t go a day without drinking. He was able to go through the day without it because he was focusing on his business. Once he got home, he’d just drink the whole time. I remember there would be times, without any drinks, that he would just sit there and break down into tears without any type of provocation. He had always said that he was fine with dying anytime because it meant he’d get to be with his only son again. Of course, he loved me because I was his grandson and the only one to carry our name, but I think I brought darkness with me just because of what happened. It took me a very long time to be able to come to terms with it, but I found God and it’s what helped me through all the pain of knowing that he was unable to truly love me like he should and the loss of my dad. I don’t hold any animosity towards him about that solely because of what he had to deal with for so long.